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WHO: John and a bunch of people who may sorely regret things
WHERE: The Town Without A Name
WHEN: Maaay
WHAT: Questers on a grand quest or two or six
WARNINGS: Violence bc fight threads ig, John's goofy taste in pop culture and tbh John and Vriska deserve their own warning

So anyway, prompts in the comments x2

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[Momo feels much the same. John's a good partner, and she'll happily trust him against something she's pretty sure she could deal with on her own given preparation time. She's gathered up the long bladed polearm she'd made the first day for this exploration. The weapon was a bit stained with plant gore, but that stuff never comes out. Yuck.]

That depends on who's telling the story.

Knowing this place? I'm inclined to think it's going to have a spider body and a human top half. Like a centaur. Something out of a fairy tale.

That sounds even more gross than I'd pictured but I think we can deal with that. If we go for the spider part of the body there is no chance of her attacking us with the human part. She'd be immobile. So that'll be our strategy! Take out the legs, dispose of the body.

That sounds good to me. Only...are you bothered by spiders?

[Momo isn't (so brave!) but she can sort of tell John's weirded out by this.]

[Haha about that...there's a nervous laugh and he shrugs a little.]

No, not really. Spiders are gross but it's no big deal. Why would I be bothered by spiders?

I don't know.

[She's not. But yeah...]

Anyway, I guess be on the lookout for webs?

I can blow webs away and just smash spider legs with Vrillyhoo, it's whatever. [And with that he's marching into the forest at a casual pace.] The webs would give us a good idea of where to start looking though. It might be hard to see them though since the forest is still pretty washed out.

Vrillyhoo?

[That's. Probably the most important thing she got out of that. What kind of name is that even?]

It's...[Easier to show than tell, honestly, so give him a second before he just summons said-hammer. Momo might not recognize that the tip of the hammer looks a lot like one of Vriska's horns and John sure as hell isn't going to mention it.]

It's something I got a little while ago back home, but it's pretty effective!

[It is easier. And no she doesn't recognize that as anything. It's just a horn to her...]

It looks like it. That's pretty incredible looking.

Thanks. I've taken out a lot of monsters because of Sburb so a spider-demon should be no problem. We should come up with a strategy though in case she moves really fast. I kind of wish we could just create a bunch of spider repellent and use that but that is probably impossible.

[Into the woods they go to hunt a demon.]

Uh.

[Momo holds up a small tank with a sprayer, then begins fitting it to her back. Where did she get it? Who knows.]

I have that. An insect specific poison, in fact.

[It's a container labeled with a chemical formula, similar to DDT if he knows it...]

[He'll stare for a moment.] Dude. That's awesome! I am not sure where you found that but you are way more prepared than I am suddenly. If we spray it, I can use the wind to direct it right into the spider's face and we can knock her out that way. It'll just be about keeping her in place long enough.

[Momo snorts a laugh and creates a pair of gloves for herself. Just to give him a clue.]

It's not like the chemical formula is a big secret. I'm sure this'll work just fine.

[Like Agent Orange on evil vegetables tbh.]

If you say so. Not all of us can remember the formulas for that kind of stuff, Momo. Or any formulas, I guess. [He's lucky to partner with her now that he thinks about it. He brushes past enough trees to continue onward.] The hardest part is going to be getting close enough. I can probably distract her enough when we get there if your aim's good enough.

Oh don't worry, it's got a pressurized hose. It'll work like a powerful squirt gun.

[Basically she just made a chemical weapon. Whoops.]

Don't need to be super close. And hey, look out. Web on your left.

Sweet. [But he pauses to hover on over to the web, using his hand to pull at the threads before nodding.]

This way. There's more webbing leading further into the trees and it looks thicker. [He'll begin to fly ahead to lead her forward, keeping his eyes out for the spider-demon. It's bound to be hideous so it shouldn't be that hard to spot, right?]

[Naturally, the universe exists to subvert his expectations...because a very feminine laugh echoes in the trees...]

Come a long way...haven't you?

[Haunting tree-voices are never a thing he's comfortable with and he keeps the grip on Vrillyhoo tight as he looks up. He glances at Momo as a signal to wait before he approaches the trees.]

It happens when we have a job to do. [He'll float upward to see if he can spot this creature. He murmurs down to Momo then.] I don't see her yet.

[It's not John she goes after, however. It's Momo.

A hand reaches out, touching her arm, and Momo jumps as a beautiful woman dressed in an elaborate kimono steps out of a hollow in a tree. That hand runs up to her shoulder and leaves the girl frozen in place...]

What...on earth?

[Momo seems to relax mid sentence, going from jumpy to at ease in heartbeats.]

It's good that you both came. I was beginning to worry that nobody would rescue me. I've been hiding for so long for someone to come and help me get away from that awful spider. I just...

[She gestures to her foot, pointing out that it's swollen.]

I twisted my ankle, and there's no way I could outrun it.

[There's a pause because what he sees is, in fact, a beautiful woman. His guard doesn't go down yet but he pauses from his place a few feet above as he watches the exchange. Given that what he's seeing looks a little legitimate, he pauses to consider it.]

That's a bummer. [And for a moment he believes it.] But wait, if you twisted your ankle wouldn't the spider have just eaten you by now? That seems weird that it would wait. [He glances at Momo again.] We should maybe go back and get help if that's true.

[Still on guard and watching, but...] We'll take care of the spider. Where is it?

[Momo's eyes glaze a little, and the woman's fingers run up and down her spine, inch by inch...]

I was hiding, you know. And I don't know where it is. Somewhere up ahead? I imagine, anyway. Where the webs get deeper.

[...noooo. He'll inch closer suddenly.]

Okay. Well we'll take care of it, but I need my friend back. Momo, let's go. [But there's kind of an empty expression and John starts suddenly.] Huh?

[Wait.] Hey! [Belatedly he realizes the hand that's moving.] Hands off.

[Momo just stands still, and the woman's hand moves lower...]

Why? She's going to stay and protect me. You're the big, strong boy, you can go deal with that spider...

[He's approaching and this time he's actively reaching to grab the woman's wrist, forcibly trying to remove her hand from Momo's back.]

I'll deal with the spider when you stop feeling up my friend. [His free hand waves in front of Momo's face.] Hey, come on. The plan, remember?

[Momo, still dazed, doesn't respond.

The woman, however, has very...uh...hairy hands. Almost like spider hairs.]

Unhand me...human.