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WHO: John and a bunch of people who may sorely regret things
WHERE: The Town Without A Name
WHEN: Maaay
WHAT: Questers on a grand quest or two or six
WARNINGS: Violence bc fight threads ig, John's goofy taste in pop culture and tbh John and Vriska deserve their own warning

So anyway, prompts in the comments x2

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[...well that's not creepy at all. It's the "human" that tips him off though and so John does three things.

One, he immediately turns to push Momo instead, shoving as hard as he can to get her out of the way.
Two, he summons Vrillyhoo back to his hand and twirls it to get a good grip on the handle.
And three, he immediately swings the hammer right at the lady's beautiful face with zero regret because it's easier to apologize later than it is to wait around for someone to get eaten.]

You first!

[The creature shoves Momo aside and skips back to dodge the hammer. The dazed girl tumbles, but seems otherwise fine, just needing a moment to recover.

The woman, however, morphs. Her lower body shifts into eight spidery legs, a bulbous body growing out of her ass. And her face? Definitely not pretty anymore.]

YOU!!!!

[Spidery legs take a swipe at John, trying to pin him with the tips.]

[It's enough to fly forward again, jerking back in surprise as the woman transforms.]

This is why spiders are gross! [The legs swipe and John turns into the wind briefly to just barely miss. The creature doesn't seem thrilled by that though, given there's an enraged sound before John pops back up near Momo.]

Momo, can you aim the spray? [He's doing his best to guard until Momo recovers, but the spider-lady probably won't wait for too long.]

Y...yeah.

[Still dazed, she fumbles with the can and starts the pumping process...]

Give me a moment!

You got it, I'll distract her until then! [He whirls around again to focus on the spider lady, avoiding her spindly legs as best as possible while bopping her with his hammer and trying to keep her away from Momo. The creature continues to shriek angrily, half-attempting to crawl back to Momo and half-attempting to swat John out of the way.]

[Momo keeps her distance and pumps the pump as fast as she can. It's not too bad, since the thing is distracted and John is truthworthy.]

OKAY!

[And here comes a sprayyyyy]

[He disappears with the wind as the spray lands a hit, dousing the spider-demon as she shrivels and shrieks. John reappears beside Momo with his hammer at the ready.]

I think we've almost got her! One more spray and I'll hit her from the top and she should be done for. [Other than the spider's still turning, hissing aggressively and quickly moving to try and descend upon them.]

Right! Go!

[Momo starts spraying full blast, undoing the limiter aerator with a flick of her fingers and hitting the bug creature full in the face. That probably paralyzes it long enough for John to basically crush her head with that crazy hammer!]

[It works out. It works out because the creature screams before finding herself frozen as John approaches from behind, whacking her over the head repeatedly in his own game of whack-a-mole while the dice inside the hammer roll around. With the force of the blunt object and the bug spray, it isn't long before the spider-demon stumbles and falls to her feet, legs twitching and arms clawing briefly before settling in the dirt and growing motionless.

The dice didn't activate, thankfully, but John hovers just above her.]

...think that did it?

[Momo walks over and untwists the lid of her canister, upending it all over the spider.]

If it didn't, I hope that did. I never, ever want to deal with one of those things again.

[Farewell, spider bitch!!! John looks pretty damn pleased even as he hovers out of the way.] You and me both. I almost cannot believe something like this lives out here, but given the minotaur and the harpies maybe there's a theme here.

Are you okay? She was kind of hypnotizing you, I think.g

[Momo dusts herself off and steps clear, nodding.]

I'm just fine. She definitely got me. Probably something to do with touch. But I feel alright now.

You want to head back? I don't want to stick around and see if she had any children. I've heard stories about them having giant spider kids.

What a creep. [That's putting it lightly. But he nods before dismissing the hammer.] Let's get out of here before round two starts. It's just like I thought though. We still make an awesome team.

We do.

[And away they go!]

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