March catch-all

[espritdecorpse]

WHO: Wei Wuxian, Xie Lian, Pyra
WHERE: Various places in Chroma
WHEN: Sometime during the dragon scales event
WHAT: Bodyswapping and misunderstandings
WARNINGS: None!

[ Initially he dismissed the forty-ninth quest out of hand. He wouldn't readily exchange his body with somebody who didn't understand cultivational powers, especially demonic ones.

But the more he gets to thinking, the more it occurs to him that there is someone in particular whose body he'd like to inhabit. Thus he pulls on his hot pink winter jacket and heads out towards Bluo... ]

Comments

for Xie Lian

[espritdecorpse]

[ ....only to find the man himself on the outskirts of Ruga, carrying a very large bag of......something. He bounds forwards happily, calling out and waving. ]

Hey, hey, hey! Dearest w— I mean, didi, you're just the person I've been looking for!

[ He reaches out, to hook an arm around his "little brother's" shoulder.....and initiate the quest. ]

[holycurse]

Hm? Oh, Wuxian!

[What a nice surprise! He offers the man a smile...but hesitates when he reaches out, shifting his bag away from--

....Suddenly he's not holding the bag anymore. Xie Lian blinks in confusion, hands gripping bony shoulder instead of lumpy cloth, looking down at him...self.]

What just-- [This isn't his voice either?? (guess who didn't read the quest post yet this month.)]

[espritdecorpse]

[ That was easy. He looks up, realizing that he'd never quite thought about how small Xie Lian really is. He can feel the weight of the curse pressing on his neck, it's simultaneously familiar and unfamiliar, in this body. Before, when he'd transferred the curse, it had nearly taken his breath away; now, he feels he has the strength to withstand it.

...

Not only that, he has the strength to carry this absurdly huge bag of...whatever this is. It's insanely heavy, he can tell that much, but it's also easy to carry. ]

Hahaha, don't worry. It's temporary. A new quest, didn't you see?

[ He smiles up at his new(-ish) face. ]

Wow, I really am good-looking!

[ He is, he decides, in a soft sort of way. He'd glanced at his reflection in water, but never really paid too much attention; besides, it's different seeing yourself in person versus a mirror. He reaches up to pinch "his" face. Forgive him, he hasn't quite got the whole controlling this ridiculous strength thing down, just yet. ]

[holycurse]

A quest...? [A quest, he says....Xie Lian's gaze moves over to his hands, his body - Wuxian's body? The body he's currently stuck in, anyway - but before he can really take it all in there's suddenly a hand reaching for his face, and he instinctively moves--too late.

Wuxian's reflexes are really much too slow for a god of war, and that pinch is probably hard enough to leave a bruise if you don't bother regulating your strength. He doesn't flinch, though he does automatically move to try to pry the man's hand off, looking (understandably) unhappy with the situation.]

....Wuxian, this is serious! You can't just go running around in my body, what if you hurt someone? Or yourself!

[Considering he's used to his own prodigious strength, he might not be using enough while stuck in someone else's body....this is tough.]

[espritdecorpse]

[ He's blissfully unaware of the fact that he's pinched hard enough to bruise and has moved on to testing his strength, raising and lowering the big bag of junk, marveling at how easy it is. Finally he sets it down, and bends to pick up a broken brick that had been lying on the ground nearby. He straightens up, tossing it up and down in one hand. ]

Don't worry. I'll take good care of your body. It'll be fine.

[ He turns and chucks the brick at a nearby tree, interested to see if he can imbed it in the bark. Where the brick hits, the trunk explodes in a deafening boom and a flurry of splinters, and the tree comes crashing down, branches breaking and leaves going everywhere. It's a terrible noise for a few long seconds...




...and then, all is quiet. ]

[holycurse]

[.........................................

Xie Lian picks a few splinters out of his hair, quietly glad that neither of their bodies was impaled by flying branches or anything. Because that would be just his luck, wouldn't it?

Just Wuxian's luck, now that they've switched.]

I'm rather more worried for the rest of the town. [A pause.] And the possibility of you injuring yourself.

[Sure, he heals fast, but pain is pain! And unlike his body, that tree can't heal itself! He pinches the bridge of his nose, already feeling weirdly tired by the idea.]

[espritdecorpse]

Hahahahhahaha!

[ He's holding his arms up, turning them over and marveling at them, whilst studiously ignoring the tree carnage all around them. ]

This is great, this is amazing—ah, don't frown like that. It doesn't look right on my face!

[ He tries to pull Xie Lian's hand from the bridge of his nose, while chattering away. ]

How much weight can you lift? Have you ever tried to measure? I'll bet it's a lot! But your arms are so slender, how do you do it?

[holycurse]

[He wants to say the same in return - don't laugh like that, it's weird coming from me - but there's more important things to worry about here!! Like letting Wuxian pull his hand away because resisting would be Dangerous.]

I can lift a lot, no I haven't tried to measure it, I gained that strength as a martial god, could you please try to hold back just a bit! You're going to break someone!

[So saying, he's going to grab at his arm in a "stop that" sort of gesture. You've already bruised your own body! Stop!!]

[espritdecorpse]

[ Xie Lian's grip on his arm feels feather-light. He should shrug it off without a second thought and blast his own body away with a flick of his finger. The urge passes instantly; it would be a terrible idea for any number of reasons. But at the same time, he does desperately want to flick something.... ]

A martial god!

[ He grins. ]

You? My sweet didi? Ah, but this strength! What a puzzle! If you were a powerful cultivator, I might be able to understand it, but...

[ Wait a second. Wait. Wait wait wait. He's aware, just from residing in Xie Lian's body for this long, that there are not one but two curse marks, and one of them seals spiritual energy. However...

He lifts up his other hand, the one that Xie Lian isn't holding onto. He makes it glow gold with spiritual energy. ]

Where did this come from?

[holycurse]

[You just blew up a tree, Wifi, slow your roll....

Xie Lian's eyes widen at that glow, having...momentarily forgotten about that, in the chaos of the past minute or so...]

I...got that from Shen Qingqiu. There's only so much of it! [!!!] And why are you so weak? I'd thought a cultivator would have more muscle than-- [ah wait manners uh]

...Anyway, at least let me have my bag!

[While we're at it, did you know his pocket's full of poison scales? And a single different-colored one. Might wanna be careful with that.]

for Pyra

[espritdecorpse]

[ His motives in exchanging bodies with Xie Lian were absolutely pure. He wanted to learn more about the curse mark encircling the man's neck, and try to determine a method to remove it for good. He hadn't had much luck analyzing the curse after transferring it to his own body, though he blames that on the numerous intrusions into his heart that had been happening around the same time.

Analyzing the curse and how it affects the cursed person's body: that's the best course of action.

And that's exactly what he's planning to do............after he has a little fun. He's basically impersonating Xie Lian right now, so clearly the best thing to do is go to the man's house, nonchalantly open up his bedroom door and— ]

GAH!

[ —get buried in a gigantic pile of junk. What the hell? ]

[pyrafect]

[ On her periodic delivery of incense to Xie Lian, she had been meaning to speak with the godling again sometime about very important things, like weddings, but--

A loud crash completely topples that reason.

Pyra, now completely worried, bursts down the door and runs up to the souce of the crash. ] Xie Lian--? [ What.... is all this junk? Oh, no, no, no junk, but stuff? Because it must not just be stuff, it must be important stuff if Xie Lian of all people is keeping it within his bedroom!

In any case, Pyra will be attempting to reach and pull him out of the pile. Son, please. ]

1/2

[espritdecorpse]

[ Even with his mind-bogglingly extreme strength, he wasn't able to stay upright when a pile of junk that size fell on him. He's completely covered in it: old shoes, empty tin cans, single socks with holes in them, crumpled up bits of paper, ugly Christmas sweaters, metal springs, broken plates, a mug handle, a chair cushion with most of the stuffing gone, a teapot missing its lid with a broken-off spout, and so on and so forth. He's grateful for the the help and clutches the hand reaching for him.

...and then when he's finally pulled out and he sees who is helping him, his eyes light up. ]

Why, Pyra! How lovely to see you!

[ He stands up, brushing the last of the junk off of himself. Various items clang and ping and a headless toy squeaks as it bounces and rolls away. ]

I'm—

[espritdecorpse]

[ He's about to confess who he is, when it occurs to him that this might be an opportunity... ]

—grateful. For your help.

[ ...to find out certain things. ]

[pyrafect]

[ She will gladly help him up, none the wiser. Oh, silly Xie Lian, always... ditzy--... Here, here, she'll brush of some debris and other junk from his shoulder and hair (aka, fussing over him). ]

You know, you keep on saying things like that...

But I'm starting to get the feeling that you're a beacon for trouble. [ She cautions in a playful tone, pulling the final sock from his shoulder. ] Aren't gods supposed to be good luck?

[espritdecorpse]

[ He loves being fussed over, and so he submits to the debris-brushing with a bright smile on his face. ]

What are you saying? My luck is excellent! You're here, aren't you?

[ And then he remembers, belatedly, that he shouldn't be so openly flirting with Pyra for......any number of reasons. He rearranges his features into something more Xie Lian-like (a soft, sheepish smile), and asks: ]

Ah, speaking of which: to what do I owe the pleasure?

[pyrafect]

[ One last bit of junk to comb out of his hair and.. voila, normal, clean, and clutter-free Xie Lian!

...And look at that initial smile of his, it's brighter than usual, and she absolutely loves seeing Xie Lian seemingly be in such a good mood. ]

Oh, well.... First, let me apologize for intruding!

And second...

[ Her eyes seem to light up. ] Second, I have good news about your wedding! Or-- well, a good offer about it, if you haven't heard.

Remember Saber-- the woman who built that statue I commissioned for your shrine? Well, she's offered her Noble Phantasm for you and Wei Wuxian to use for your wedding ceremony and reception!

And third: have the two of you thought of a date yet? We should be giving out invitations soon.... [ Or more like, make it a network-wide public invitation for everyone in Chroma! ]

1/5

[espritdecorpse]

[ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ]

[espritdecorpse]

[ He'd straightened things out with Xie Lian, and had just assumed Xie Lian had straightened things out with Pyra. But no, things have gotten even worse. Not only has his roommate been roped in, but she's talking about sending out invitations? ]

[espritdecorpse]

[ And yet—she looks so happy about all this. She's worked so hard. The idea of disappointing her is almost unbearable, and yet he has to do it. He has to. Why is he in this position, aaaaaah! Why didn't Xie Lian say anything to her— ]

[espritdecorpse]

[ Unless... he hasn't actually straightened anything out with Xie Lian. The man's feelings remain conflicted. That kiss... he hadn't been casual about it, the way Shen Qingqiu always was, about kissing him. He'd hidden his face and run from the room. That isn't how a man kisses another man, if he doesn't mean anything by it! ]

[espritdecorpse]

[ Meanwhile he's just standing here tongue-tied, staring at Pyra. He has to say something.

Weakly: ]

Ah.... what's a "Noble Phantasm"?

[pyrafect]

Something of an... incredible power, I think? [ A pause.

Also. What is all this clutter in his room doing here? She never thought him to be a messy person! Gonna just start-- like, picking up stuff and organizing everything. Lalala don't mind her. ] I'm not exactly sure what it is, but hers is called the "Golden Theater".

It's beautiful and spacious and-- [ She pauses while picking up a lamp, dusting it off with a hand. ] Shen Qingqiu and I were attempting to make tables from the forest trees and paper-flowers for you... But Saber's Theater will outshine anything we craft.

[espritdecorpse]

[ Poor Pyra... as if this mountain of junk can possibly be organized... except, perhaps, "organized" into a garbage dump. The lamp she's dusting is cracked and missing half its shade, for instance. He rubs his forehead. ]

That is... that's very kind of you and Maiden Saber, but I don't think I... we... require anything so elaborate.

[ His heart is twisting, both from making this admittedly very weak refusal, because Pyra seems so happy about it... and also, because Pyra seems so happy about it, that seems to suggest that her feelings for him are...

...

Well, he knew all along, right? It's not like this is new information. ]

[pyrafect]

[ You know, she was actually thinking that— that the Golden Theater would actually be a bit too much for the humble Xie Lian. ]

[ Planning this wedding is exciting and fun, she believes that their union should be celebrated! And she enjoys watching others be happy and in love, she... With someone like Xie Lian, she could never compete. ]

Then something more.... natural? Nature-themed? [ She still busies herself with trying to sort on all of this rubbish. He shouldn’t be living like this! ]

In the castle, you mentioned you’d want white flowers. Again, Shen Qingqiu and I had actually started to make— [ A short laugh. ] paper-flowers for you. We made a whole lot! But since spring is just around the corner... [ She pauses, turning to face him happily. ] You might just get real flowers.

[ She’ll gather them herself if she has to! ]