Froggy went a-courtin'

[espritdecorpse]

Who: Wei Wuxian and frogs
What: Frog Quest
When: Throughout January
Where: All through Chroma
Warning: Wei Wuxian’s thirst

Note: if you’d like your character to get kissed, please first shoot me a pm or pp at tinuvielberen. Ribbit!

[ He’d been puzzled by the frog-kissing quest at first, but a bit of time in the library answered at least some of his questions regarding frogs and fairy tales. When you kiss a frog, they transform into a handsome prince. Or princess. Obviously if he’s the one doing the kissing, the frog ought to transform into a princess. Faultless logic. Thus, full of boundless optimism and high spirits, he ventures out into town to find and rescue some amphibious friends. ]

Comments

reim

[espritdecorpse]

[ It isn't as easy as he might have thought, finding a frog in January. He worries the little cold-blooded creature might freeze to death before he rescues it with his warm lips. Through Ruga, to Bluo, around the well and off into the wilds of Flavo he runs. He's about to give up hope, when finally he sees something moving in the tall, dead grass.

Can it be....? ]

[allweather]

[It isn't easy at all, being a frog in January. Reim doesn't know what's going on when he's suddenly much smaller and closer to the ground and his glasses have disappeared - has anyone even heard of a frog with poor eyesight? Now they have - and it's all he can do to hop around in a panic, hoping if he moves enough, something will change.

And that's how he hops out of the grass right into Wei Wuxian's path, but of course, all he sees is the large, fuzzy shape of something much bigger than he is at the moment. Ah- uh?? Who are you, fuzzy man...]

[espritdecorpse]

[ In his past life, he had reputation for being a player, a lover to multiple women. But, like so many of the legends about him, it wasn't true. This will be, strictly speaking, his third kiss. The first was lost to an unknown (but very strong) maiden; the second was to, of all people, Archer (his nose scrunches in dismay at that memory). So this is his first opportunity to initiate a proper kiss.

Hands trembling, he reaches for the little frog, holding it up gently near his face. He gazes into its bulbous eyes with what he hopes is a kind and tender expression.

Softly: ]

Don't be frightened, gentle maiden. I, Wei Wuxian, have come to save you.

[ It's harder than he thought to be romantic to a frog, but by heavens he's trying. ]

Mogget

[espritdecorpse]

[ Okay, that? Was not what he had in mind. Not at all. He rubs his lips with the back of his hand, trying to wipe off the taste of frog. Anyway, what he thought would be a 100% chance of kissing a beautiful maiden has now clearly dropped to 50-50. Which, to be fair, are excellent odds given his usual decision-making skills.

He leaves Flavo, hoping he'll have better luck in Bluo. The next one, the next frog is sure to be a girl frog. ]

[purrsuasively]

[Girl frogs are in short supply, it seems! The only frog hopping about this particular street is this vividly green specimen, and while he's clearly trying his hardest to avoid being noticed, he's just, you know... rather hard to miss. Wonderful.

But the moment Frogget notices a human beelining his way, he croaks—rather shrilly, actually—and attempts to make a run for a nearby patch of grass. Surely he can hide in there! Surely no one would be rude enough to pick him right off the ground!!]

[espritdecorpse]

[ SURE ENOUGH there's a pair of hands reaching for this dainty green frogette, with the practiced reflexes of someone who grew up around water and wasted a tremendous about of time screwing around outside when he should have been engaged in more productive pursuits. ]

Ha! Come to me, my darling!

[ How pretty. Maybe this green is the color of the maiden's eyes! ]

[purrsuasively]

[Oh, no. No, no, no. There's not much that Frogget can do about being picked up by something so much larger than he is, but as those hands near him, he tries to make one last desperate LEAP for freedom—

—and jumps headfirst into this stranger's hand, causing him to, like, flop right over on his side with a surprised little ribbit. Pro: A dazed frog is much easier to hold onto! Con: He's going to be furious when things stop... spinning....]

Jion

[espritdecorpse]

[ I mean, it could have been worse. He's got the taste of more frog and now a bit of cat on his lips but that's not so wrong. People kiss their pets all the time. That's his story and he's sticking with it.

Anyway, third time's the charm, right? He circles the well a few times, searching. ]

[organfarm]

[ This is distressing. Jion's pretty sure he's not a greenhorn when it comes to surviving stressful situation, but this is ... not great. It's really not great!

He'd just been making his way through Flavo, minding his own business, when his foot had suddenly sunk downward, spilling him across the ground, and the next few seconds had been spent crawling around in a panic because he was, like, trapped in a huge sack or something? It wasn't until he'd hop-crawled a good distance away that he'd even realized those must have been his clothes. And now he's lost his sense of direction, oh god.

By the time Wei Wuxian spots him near the well, Jion-as-a-frog is hopping in little nervous circles, periodically making stressed-out ribbiting noises. ]

[espritdecorpse]

[ This frog. It's clearly skittish. Maidenly, one could say. He has a good feeling about this one! That's right, there's no doubt in his mind about it!

He approaches the well slowly, crouching down and putting his hands out. It's probably best if the frog comes to him, if it's really that agitated. ]

[organfarm]

[ A familiar face! Jion backs off with a nervous ribbit at first when he first feels footsteps approaching. But as soon as he looks up and recognizes it as Wei Wuxian, he gives a slightly louder ribbit and hops forward; his movements are a little clumsy, but he still manages to crawl his way onto those outstretched hands.

Maybe he knows some way to undo this and turn him back? Wei knows about magic, after all! Surely, his teacher won't let him down! ]

Link

[espritdecorpse]

[ He needs to wash out his mouth. And his eyes. And, oh heavens, his brain. His poor disciple. How could that have happened? He's sufficiently distracted that his feet take him beyond the borders of the town, right up to the edge of the forest. Fortunately, he realizes where he is before he sets foot inside. He walks in a circle musing.

How could this happen? How could I, of all people, fail this quest three times? I couldn't fail a fourth time, surely?

Alas, as soon as that thought enters his mind, the Quest system engages. ]

[bakedapple]

[Hey, nobody's a better expert at failure than this short little elf-man. Although much to his horror, he's not much of an elf-man at the moment.

The sticky pads on his frog-fingers keep sticking to every blade of grass and twig he touches, and for some reason, he can't stop jumping directly into tree trunks, despite his best efforts to aim his jumps back in the direction of town. He's beginning to panic when he hears the crunch of human footsteps.

Oh, Goddesses. Whoever it is, he's hoping they've read about the quest on the forum.

Somehow, he manages to hop awkwardly towards the noise, croaking as loudly as he can as he does. They don't... eat frogs in Chroma, do they??]

[espritdecorpse]

[ He is feeling a bit peckish and the idea of roasted frog does occur to him for a split second. He shakes his head to dispel the image, and focuses on the frog. It's smaller than the others he's encountered and hopping awkwardly. Aha! This for sure has to be a maiden!

He thinks about crouching down with his hands extended, but this frog has such coordination problems, that he thinks it's better if he just catches it. ]

Come here, don't be shy!

[ Hope you're not too embarrassed about being grabbed around the midsection, little froggy! ]

[bakedapple]

[He thought he wanted to be picked up until it actually happened. Then, he felt impossibly strong and hard fingers grabbing his soft, moist body around the middle and lifting him up into the air. His eyesight as a frog is so poor that he feels like he's being teleported into a fearsome void. He's overcome with an overwhelming sense of complete helplessness.

Hylia, this is terrifying!! No wonder frogs were always so quick to flee from him back in Hyrule! Link wriggles in fear and tries to croak louder. Don't eat me, don't drop me, just kiss me, he yells in his own head, as if the person could hear him.

In the course of his terrified wriggling, one hind leg slips between his body and the person's finger and pry him just free enough to leap, out of control, out of his grip. Link can't tell what exactly just happened, or if he is now tumbling to the ground, or was thrown into the air, or is flying directly into the person's face now.]

role reversal

[scooptimistic]

[ Maya's caught on by now that if there are frogs hopping around, it isn't because Chroma's got a certain species that's resistant to winter and hibernation. These frogs are actually people. People! Who need! Help!!!

Which is why when she catches sight of yet another frog, Maya crouches down and holds out her palm, back of the hand flat on the ground. ]

Okay! C'mere, froggy-chan, let Maya help you out!

[ She'll regret this. ]

1/2

[espritdecorpse]

[ Things had been going so well for him the last several days. He'd given up on the frog kissing quest, and thereafter carefully guarded his lips from any more amphibious adventures. He'd gotten to work on a new batch of rice wine, using the lees from the last batches to activate fermentation on the new ones. It's a never-ending cycle, as long as he can get rice. And then, he'd checked out the new public bathhouse. The nearly-nude sculpture of his roommate in the men's section was initially surprising, to say the least, but he soon got used to it (mostly because such sculptures are everywhere in his house). Being able to soak in a hot bath for as long as he wants is an incredibly pleasant experience, and he's just stepped out and toweled off when—

!!!

—he feels a horrible sensation, his body rapidly shrinking to an astonishingly small size. He pauses, trembling. The smart thing to do would be to stay here, in the baths. Someone's sure to come by. But his froggy legs want to do nothing more than jump, so jump he does, outside into the cold. It's desperately uncomfortable, which makes him jump more. Thus he keeps jumping until he sees a person. Oh heavens, he's saved. She crouches down and extends her hand.... ]

[espritdecorpse]

[ ....and then he recognizes her and realizes what he isn't wearing. It's one thing to hear about being naked in front of a maiden without remembering it, another to tease stripping, and yet another to be fully conscious, sober, and unexpectedly in the altogether in front of Maya, of all people.

Chirping agitatedly, he hops off in the opposite direction. ]

[scooptimistic]

Wh-- wait!

[ ... What... what on earth... first Lupin, for completely understandable reasons and now this?? What had she ever done to this frog? She knows this one isn't Lupin, either, so it's... some other person who's terrified of being kissed??

Or maybe it just doesn't know that's the cure here?

So. Of course.

She sprints after it. ]

Would you just wait a second?! I'm trying to help you!!

trash god

[espritdecorpse]

[ As soon as he hears that people are emerging from the well, he starts to hurry over. As soon as he starts to hurry over, he wonders, "What kind of people will they be?" As soon as he wonders that, he speculates whether there will be any pretty girls in the well....

This is enough for his mind to turn to questing and frogs and well you know the drill here. Suddenly, he catches a tell-tale glimpse of frog. ]

[holycurse]

[It didn't take much effort for Xie Lian to get out of that well, to be honest - Ruo Ye is an incredibly useful scarf and he will always, always appreciate it - but being able to climb out of a well doesn't do much to help explain how he got into it in the first place.

More important than that, though, is the fact that he's suddenly turned into a frog? A frog colored red and gold like his wedding clothes, at that, small and chirping in confusion at his sudden change of world view. What's going on? How'd he get into this situation? Is that a young man heading in his direction?

The frog deity chirps twice more, making an effort to hop up onto the edge of the well so as to be better seen. Help! Help, strange sir! Oh my, the edge of the well is kind of slippery, actually--]

[espritdecorpse]

[ That is.... the most strikingly beautiful frog he's seen in his life. Red and gold, what auspicious colors. And it...it's chirping to him. It's calling him over! He starts walking quickly; and then he can't help himself anymore and breaks into a run, his robes fluttering and hair bouncing.

It's too early for plum blossoms to shedding their petals but in his mind's eye he can see them falling. Falling, falling—just like the frog! The maiden's losing her balance, aaaah!

He lunges for the lip of the well, hand outstretched. HE WILL SAVE YOU, FAIR MAIDEN! ]

shizun

[espritdecorpse]

[ He didn't want to get married anyway!!!!! Wouldn't that just be a leash around his neck? He'd always thought so, right? Right!!!! It's fine. It's fine. Someone like him doesn't need a wife, he's lord of a puppet corpse army. That's cool, right? It's cool.

"Army" is overstating things at this point however. He only has about three of them so far, so the obvious course of action is: get more puppets. Thus his charges are shambling out into the town, identifying their slain comrades and bringing them back to Wei Wuxian's feet. After a whlle, he has quite a pile of them. Idly he thinks to himself that he'd like to show them off to someone, someone he wouldn't mind kissing, and at this point he's kissed so many frogs that the quest system just automatically engages and frogifies someone for him.

Too bad he's.....not paying attention, instead biting his thumb and painting bloody eyes on all the dead puppets. That's a totally normal and not at all demonic thing to be doing, right? ]

[shizun]

[ Well, that just looks like something I don't need to be a part of. Shen Qingqiu calmly and rationally comes to this decision as he comes across what appears to be some heavy and dark business. That is what he decided upon, yet he realizes that there is no one actually around in this town. It's actually pretty barren which means that this person could get into all sorts of trouble before anyone would be able to do anything about it. There are those new people that are here, too.

Fuck, he's a new person, himself. Shouldn't he be worried about his own safety?! And he is! If he doesn't do anything, this is just the kind of thing that would end up coming down on his head if he let it go. So, rolling his shoulders back, he steps forward toward the young man -- only to feel like he's shrinking.

I'm not some fucking violet! What is-- Shen Qingqiu realizes that the situation actually isn't psychological but physical! He literally is shrinking! This is--! He realizes that he must have drawn too close to the man's magic and ended up altered for it. Wait, does a thing like that make sense? Well, this is Airplane-bro. The man who makes thousands upon thousands of miracle flowers and healing elixirs.

Yet the only way to recover from my illness is to papapa with the protagonist! The frog that is Shizun is hopping angrily towards the man with intent. Hop, hop. Excuse you! Don't go turning people into frogs just because you feel like it! He hops and lands in front of him. Wait ... wasn't this ... not a very good idea... ]

[espritdecorpse]

[ Pleased with his handiwork, he steps back and begins to chant: ]

Eyes behind thy long lashes, lips parted in—

[ Wait. That's a frog. Quite an elegant frog, in fact. Nice legs, bright eyes. He's become a bit of a frog connoisseur recently.....

As soon as he realizes where his thoughts are taking him, he wants to punch himself in the forehead. ]

I've gone mad.

[ He says this out loud, as if the elegant frog were just a dumb animal that can't hear him, and stares beadily down at the creature. He's... he's beginning to have impure thoughts regarding frogs. He reaches down, lifts up the frog and moves it out of the way.

Too bad, let somebody else kiss you! Wei Wuxian is going to be guarding his lips from now on!!! ]