Who told you so, dilly dilly, Who told you so? ‘Twas my own heart, dilly dilly, That told me so.
ouch is one of the most intimate, romantic ways to be close to someone else. The Town knows this very well -- the Town wants everyone to be as close as possible.
Perhaps that's why this bonding is so...aggressive.
Because you're in for quite the shock on this otherwise peaceful day when you brush against the next person on your path.
Maybe you're going out of your way to touch people. Maybe you've got a terrible urge to just see what's lurking in someone's heart. Maybe you trip over a conveniently placed rock -- whatever the cause, you're getting an up close and personal look into someone else's heart.
Welcome to Awash's eighteenth event log, everyone! Further information on this event can be found here at the OOC post. You are welcome to make your own logs and posts for this event!
If there are any questions, please ask them here. Thank you!
[ these are the most uniquely colored chickens dextera has ever seen, but also… he’s never seen any kinds of chickens except silkies, so they almost look like an altogether different species to him. ]
Yeah. Cool, right? [He's going to 100% die when they get out of here, and he realizes all of the things he revealed in the earnesty of his heart. RIP Damian Wayne.] Hang on.
[Dextera can come along, but Damian is quick to turn and take off, dropping the stick. He's on the hunt for one of the chicken friends, probably not KF because that asshole is too quick.
He finds Beast Boy first, a chicken so ugly green that it's cute. It's a girl, but it's FINE, don't worry about it. Beast Boy's image lives on in Damian's heart as a soft hen which Damian brings back to Dextera like a prize.] Be careful. Beast Boy is pretty dumb. But she'll make you laugh. She likes to pretend to be other animals.
[ luckily, dextera knows how to hold a chicken and corral them if he must, but before damian runs off to find the others pecking around, dextera does have to make one teeny little comment. ]
Their names are… unique.
[ he has to spell that one out, actually, because it’s been a while and the other signs that come to mind aren’t quite what he’s looking for. beast boy, for a girl… well, it’s bold. ]
[At this, Damian actually, surprisingly, gets red in the face. Yeah, two of the boys are also hens, but listen. Damian's heart is more pure than it is rational.] They're... my teammates. They picked their own names, so it's okay. It doesn't matter what they look like.
They'll be my friends if they're a girl or a boy, or if they're a chicken or a frog.
[Ah yes, talking about his friends. The edges of him glow gently with a warm light, one that outlines him just a little bit.] Hey! I see Raven! I'll be right back. [A cluster of the trees and bushes off to the side are shielding the silky, black hen from the island sun.
While Damian is getting her, a peculiar yellow and red hen speeds down the beach from one end to the other. The hen isn't blindingly fast, but it's pretty quick, kicking up soft sand and leaving behind spindly footprints. Must be Kid Flash.
Damian returns with a hen that seems a little grumpy about being out in the sun, though he doesn't appear to mind the chastising clucks.] This is Raven. [Her flowing tail feathers are kind of like a dragging cloak, shimmery and beautiful.] She likes the shade a lot.
[ oh, dextera loves her. she’s beautiful, even though she’s grumpy, and she kind of reminds him of leliel in any case. he’s not sure if they would get along, since they seem to both be very personality-driven hens, but dextera wants to touch her anyway.
when damian says “his teammates,” though, does that mean they’re all a representation of someone on the outside of this place? people from home? could dextera find damian’s father here, or even some people from chroma?
in whatever form they’d take in damian’s heart, anyway. ]
It looks like… you take good care of them.
[ because he can’t help it, he reaches out to pet raven. ]
[Again, Damian gets a bit embarrassed about the compliment. He lets Dextera pet Raven, even if she's somewhat fussy with so much attention and sun. Like Damian, she can't escape the Soft People.]
I didn't have friends before. So... I want to take care of the ones I have now.
[When Raven gets too fussy, he lowers her to the ground and releases her to be friend. Or, you know, hastily prance back toward the inner island where there's shade.] She's shy. [It's fine.]
I keep them all here because it's safe. Sometimes, if you tell people who your friends are, they'll try to be mean to them. It's okay, though, I trust you.
[ dextera has never really… had friends, outside of this town. there are people who were tolerant of him, and people he would count as allies, but the twisted ones in the outer world were mostly neutral parties that were just as amused to see him die as succeed.
so, the trust is nice, but he nods in complete understanding of damian’s desire to protect the ones in his heart. ]
[Shockingly, Damian smiles like he has zero cares and zero baggage. When he's truly happy, the edges of him begin to faintly, softly glow again. If only this would happen in reality. He'd never be able to falsify how people make him feel.] Yeah. I live here. [In a soft, secretive paradise with his friends. A fragile place, one easily destroyed.]
[ look at him… dextera has never seen him like this. even when he smiles in the real world—rarely at that, too—it’s never like this. he always seems so guarded, even when he’s being vulnerable, but here, it reminds dextera of seeing himself in his own memories.
young, unfettered. full of love and nothing more. ]
…
[ dextera returns his smile, and nods, offering out his hand like he’s going to let damian physically take him there. ]
[This is fine. Damian takes Dextera's hand in his own and leads the way. Dextera hadn't been wrong. Damian is physically carting Dextera off across the island. Away from the sugary sand, away from the little wooden playhouse and the chicken pen, the rope swing.
The mountainous inner boundaries have been carved through by a small path. It's worn and walked, but the sides are grown up with elephant ear leaves, vines, ferns, and other plants, looped and hanging so they have to gently push through with their hands. It feels tropical, smells fresh and floral from the few plants budding with bright flowers.
Damian winds them through with no rush, but as they spill out the end, Damian stops so suddenly and backs up right into Dextera to try to get them behind the cover of some leaves.] Wait! [His voice is a tiny whisper. He pulls Dextera into a crouch to give them line of sight, and he doesn't let go of Dextera's hand.
Out at the edge of the pool by the waterfall, front hooves in the water, is the biggest, sturdiest looking stag. He's very handsome. Strong, elegant, with a wide and thorny cluster of horns and amethyst eyes. In the back is a small gathering of older fawn, and only one is proud (or brave) enough to be standing up beside the stag at the water's edge.
[ dextera is alarmed by the way that damian stops, but he’s good at following instructions… and being quiet, of course. he’s already looking at the stag before damian explains who it represents, because he sees those eyes. even on some strange form of guren in damian’s heart, he’d recognize them. ]
…
[ it’s not guren, but it is, and dextera’s chest abruptly aches with his own loneliness, how much he misses that proud face even when it’s on an animal. damian is lucky, to have such a lush heart. to be able to hold onto all these people.
dextera doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t need to, really. the way he squeezes damian’s hand a little tighter, the way his breath sounds, for a moment, wet, says enough. ]
[Reassuringly, Damian gives Dextera's hand a return squeeze.] He sure has a lot of kids, huh? [Weird. It's fine. Damian peers up at Dextera, quietly watching the man's face. In a way, he feels bad Dextera is emotional. But this is Damian's heart and being emotional is normal, is healthy, and so he's a little glad Dextera can see a Guren immortalized in the heart.]
I don't know who the babies are. [Even Yuu, who he met for a time.] But sometimes it's just them, and we play together.
The big one is scary. [Hmmmm. Is this still Damian's heart talking?] But he let me pet him once. [Which is enough.] Wanna try...?
[ damian’s commentary is… nice. it’s like the chatter of a child, which is easy to get swept up in, but it’s comforting as well for the fact that dextera knows damian, and he knows these must be damian’s thoughts at their most pure.
“scary,” huh? even damian gets spooked sometimes? ]
…
[ dextera swallows and blinks away any threatening tears, then nods. ]
[Reality Damian would vehemently deny being scared of Guren. He's not scared!! He's not worried about Guren killing him so much as... not ever being as strong as Guren! Listen!]
A stag. That's a boy deer. He's really big, huh? It must mean he's pretty strong. He has big antlers, too. So he's old [sorry guren] and strong. The babies are fawn. They have little spots, see? [Oh.
Damian watches Dextera again for a moment, and then he stands up without pulling Dextera up with him. Carefully, he winds his arms around Dextera's neck and gives Dextera a squeezingly childish hug.]
[ old and strong… that’s guren, all right, at least in the eyes of all the children who have attached themselves to him. yuu, and certainly damian as well. dextera wonders if they ever got around to meeting each other, but that’s a question for another day, if it ever even comes up. ]
…ah…
[ the hug is unexpected and warm, and dextera looks back at damian—almost awestruck by it. he’s going to remember this sensation forever, he thinks. ]
…he won’t hurt you, as long as you don’t call him old.
[ that’s dextera’s advice, and he takes damian’s hand with a slightly brighter smile. ]
With Dextera's hand in his, he helps Dextera up and they ease out of the brush and the path into the clearing. There's no surprise by the suddenly tense, stand-offish nature of Guren. The whole area gets a blanket of silence, and the fawn become like statues.
But Damian presses on, very careful and gentle, leading Dextera and not talking. They make it to the other edge of the pool of water to stand, and the fawn by Guren's side must be Yuu. It edges out from its hiding place behind Guren's long legs and peers at the two of them with curious scrutiny. Suddenly, it takes off like a bullet around the edge of the water, worriedly startling Guren and the others. It has to be Yuu, heading straight for Damian.] Wai--
Don't-- Wait! Wait-- [Damian has to let Dextera go and put both hands up, hunched some. The fawn hits him head-first with its nubby horns, and the two of them bowl over onto the grass. Damian's heart, slaughtered by an optimistic baby deer.
Except, Damian lets out a loud, playful round of laughter and rolls over to try to shield his face and head from a romping, butting deer.] Okay! Okay! Geez... [Why is he being bullied.]
[ dextera doesn’t get a long look at the deer, considering its reckless movement, but he makes an educated guess that this one—well, maybe damian did meet yuu after all. that’s good. he wishes yuu were still in town, too, but dextera is glad that they’re immortalized in damian’s heart like this.
…maybe?
it looks like damian is having fun, even with such a wild little thing, and dextera laughs too, despite himself. he shouldn’t let the deer go too crazy, considering how small damian is here in his heart, but… a few seconds is fine. only when those seconds pass does dextera approach the two boys, guren’s tension momentarily forgotten. ]
…
[ he pats yuu’s flank, to get his attention, and signs something over the deer’s “shoulder” at damian. ]
[BULLIED.] Hey! [Damian laughs once more when Yuu tries to munch some of his hair. Rude.
Much like a puppy, the fawn startles gently at having its attention distracted by the pat. Unfortunately, Yuu steps all up on Damian and to the other side in the escape. Damian thankfully doesn't seem to mind tiny hooves, and he brushes himself off while nodding at Dextera.] Yeah. I don't know him very well, but... I guess we're friends. [Their real meeting went almost exactly like this.
Behind them, very close, the stag snorts loudly. Damian sits up straight, and the fawn tucks tail and trots quickly back behind the stag. The rest of the fawn have filed over in a huddle, and they seem more like baby ducks following a mother than baby deer.
Damian glances from the stag up at Dextera, and then he looks back.] Hi. This is my friend Dextera. He's really nice. We came to see the waterfall. [The stag turns a rather intelligent pair of eyes at Dextera, watchful, and then it snorts more gently this time. Maybe it's a "ha ha."
After a moment, it lowers its head to brandish the furry flat of its forehead between the antlers.]
[ yeah, if this deer is yuu, then it makes perfect sense that he’d stomp all over someone trying to escape. damian doesn’t seem hurt, though, and dextera assists in brushing him off before the stag demands attention. ]
…
[ it… is asking to be pet, maybe. dextera thinks so. he’d paused for permission when it was with raven, but even though this is all damian’s creation, he feels like he has a little more permission when it comes to this representation of guren.
he sighs softly, fondly. ]
Come closer.
[ he gestures to damian, beckoning him, before gently placing his hand on the stag’s head. just holding it there, and then he strokes his thumb along the fur. ]
[As instructed, Damian carefully comes closer to both Dextera and the stag. It's already bigger than most stags, so it's definitely a lot bigger than Damian at just four or five; Damian is a little nervous. Because of this, Damian takes Dextera's free hand in his own, and then he reaches up with his other to give the stag a few strokes along the bottom of the neck and shoulder where he can reach.]
I feel sad when I see him sometimes. I don't know why. It feels like... I miss him. It's weird.
[The stag finally brings its head down a bit more, but when Damian goes to pet, the stag snorts a smack of soft, hot air in Damian's face. Ah yes. Such was their relationship. Damian "wahs" and turns his head away, but he's partially smiling as he rubs his face with his forearm.] Yuck. Your breath smells. [A smelly old man stag. Gross.
The stag lifts its head back up and bumps Dextera in the middle of the chest with its snout. Even deer Guren fancies Dextera. Figures.]
[ a thought comes to dextera, some teasing comment like “i bet he doesn’t miss you at all.” if they were in the real world, he might say it on guren’s behalf, but—here, when damian is tiny and open and thoroughly sincere, dextera thinks it’s probably best not to mention it. the fact that it occurs to him to joke, however, is a pretty big step.
he smiles down at damian, their hands joined, and so he’s a little distracted when the guren-stag bumps against his chest. ]
—!
[ but then, he relaxes, and his gaze softens as he pets the stag under its chin, cradling its face for a moment with his free hand. it’s nice, to be able to do this, even if it’s just an illusion. ]
Thank you. [ to the stag, and then he turns to damian. ] He likes you. I can tell.
[Shockingly, Damian gives a rather modest beam, shoulders hunching.] I like him, too. [In the end, Damian is a "hero," and he rigorously follows his father's code of helping others without expecting compensation. Sometimes, he may need a hero of his own to help him through some tough stuff.]
He's really strong and he's brave. [Damian's hand grows warm. The gentle light blanketing him around the edges returns, but this time, it slowly gets more bright, or maybe it's seeping inward from the outside.] And sometimes, he's dumb and doesn't take care of himself, but he wants to help everyone else. And even if he's worried, he doesn't show it, so you aren't worried, too. [The light consumes Damian until he's nothing more than that, growing. He's bigger, slightly. His voice is somewhat deeper, more familiar.]
Frankly, he's an imbecile more often than not.
[The glow dies away as slowly as it came, leaving behind a thirteen year old boy with a sour face and a stream of tears, holding Dextera by the hand without letting go.] A self-sacrificing fool who cared too much about everyone else instead of himself, especially you. I still want to kill him for not letting us at least say goodbye. [As if they had a choice.] But... I'll miss his old, ugly, annoying ass.
[The stag and all the fawn don't move, just continue to look at the two of them. The edges of the clearing with the pool, the edges of the island completely, begin to crack and crumble, rushing inward to meet him and Dextera. Everything disappears until nothing is left but a slowly fading stag that snorts derisively at the both of them.]
He hasn't left us. We can still keep going.
[Even in the town again, Damian doesn't immediately let go of Dextera's hand. He does, however, reach up with his other to try to get rid of the wetness to his cheeks.]
[ …it’s all dextera can do not to sob, really. he knew other people cared about guren. of course he did. guren was far more of a fixture in this town than dextera ever has been, but it’s different, seeing damian’s honest feelings—so honest that they thrust both him and dextera out of the heart.
he wishes he could have stayed a little longer, to socialize with that stag, but it’s fine. it was enough. just as damian’s heart holds guren within it… maybe dextera’s can, too. ]
…
[ ah, it hurts. ]
It’s OK to cry.
[ dextera does all the time, after all. damian has seen it. he’s probably seeing it now, before dextera quickly lifts his own hand to brush away the tears threatening to drown his face. with his other, he squeezes damian’s hand, taking advantage of these last vestiges of vulnerability before damian’s tween pride kicks in. ]
[The squeeze to his hand makes him squeeze Dextera's back. The two of them are a big disaster, aren't they? Help them.
The core of him feels raw, but not painful. A little too warm maybe, like sunburn. Being able to let his heart say what it really wanted... It felt good. Refreshing. Something stuffed too full being opened, a pressure released. He may not be any more open than he had been before, or he may continue to struggle with saying his true feelings. It'll be okay. He's trying.
Breathing a very quiet sigh, he glances up at Dextera.]
[ if damian could, dextera would have asked for it long before now—but he recognizes that even the most powerful people in this town don’t have that power, and a child especially doesn’t.
so he shakes his head. ]
He’s here.
[ dextera touches his fingers to damian’s chest, his heart. then, ]
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ouch is one of the most intimate, romantic ways to be close to someone else. The Town knows this very well -- the Town wants everyone to be as close as possible.
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These are… chickens?
[ not as offensive as it sounds, really. ]
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[Dextera can come along, but Damian is quick to turn and take off, dropping the stick. He's on the hunt for one of the chicken friends, probably not KF because that asshole is too quick.
He finds Beast Boy first, a chicken so ugly green that it's cute. It's a girl, but it's FINE, don't worry about it. Beast Boy's image lives on in Damian's heart as a soft hen which Damian brings back to Dextera like a prize.] Be careful. Beast Boy is pretty dumb. But she'll make you laugh. She likes to pretend to be other animals.
I'll go find the others, too.
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Their names are… unique.
[ he has to spell that one out, actually, because it’s been a while and the other signs that come to mind aren’t quite what he’s looking for. beast boy, for a girl… well, it’s bold. ]
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They'll be my friends if they're a girl or a boy, or if they're a chicken or a frog.
[Ah yes, talking about his friends. The edges of him glow gently with a warm light, one that outlines him just a little bit.] Hey! I see Raven! I'll be right back. [A cluster of the trees and bushes off to the side are shielding the silky, black hen from the island sun.
While Damian is getting her, a peculiar yellow and red hen speeds down the beach from one end to the other. The hen isn't blindingly fast, but it's pretty quick, kicking up soft sand and leaving behind spindly footprints. Must be Kid Flash.
Damian returns with a hen that seems a little grumpy about being out in the sun, though he doesn't appear to mind the chastising clucks.] This is Raven. [Her flowing tail feathers are kind of like a dragging cloak, shimmery and beautiful.] She likes the shade a lot.
She can always tell when you feel upset.
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when damian says “his teammates,” though, does that mean they’re all a representation of someone on the outside of this place? people from home? could dextera find damian’s father here, or even some people from chroma?
in whatever form they’d take in damian’s heart, anyway. ]
It looks like… you take good care of them.
[ because he can’t help it, he reaches out to pet raven. ]
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I didn't have friends before. So... I want to take care of the ones I have now.
[When Raven gets too fussy, he lowers her to the ground and releases her to be friend. Or, you know, hastily prance back toward the inner island where there's shade.] She's shy. [It's fine.]
I keep them all here because it's safe. Sometimes, if you tell people who your friends are, they'll try to be mean to them. It's okay, though, I trust you.
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so, the trust is nice, but he nods in complete understanding of damian’s desire to protect the ones in his heart. ]
I won’t hurt your friends. I promise.
[ even though he wants to keep petting raven. ]
Do you stay here a lot?
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Wanna see the waterfall? It's really cool.
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young, unfettered. full of love and nothing more. ]
…
[ dextera returns his smile, and nods, offering out his hand like he’s going to let damian physically take him there. ]
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The mountainous inner boundaries have been carved through by a small path. It's worn and walked, but the sides are grown up with elephant ear leaves, vines, ferns, and other plants, looped and hanging so they have to gently push through with their hands. It feels tropical, smells fresh and floral from the few plants budding with bright flowers.
Damian winds them through with no rush, but as they spill out the end, Damian stops so suddenly and backs up right into Dextera to try to get them behind the cover of some leaves.] Wait! [His voice is a tiny whisper. He pulls Dextera into a crouch to give them line of sight, and he doesn't let go of Dextera's hand.
Out at the edge of the pool by the waterfall, front hooves in the water, is the biggest, sturdiest looking stag. He's very handsome. Strong, elegant, with a wide and thorny cluster of horns and amethyst eyes. In the back is a small gathering of older fawn, and only one is proud (or brave) enough to be standing up beside the stag at the water's edge.
Damian is still whispering.] That's Guren.
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[ dextera is alarmed by the way that damian stops, but he’s good at following instructions… and being quiet, of course. he’s already looking at the stag before damian explains who it represents, because he sees those eyes. even on some strange form of guren in damian’s heart, he’d recognize them. ]
…
[ it’s not guren, but it is, and dextera’s chest abruptly aches with his own loneliness, how much he misses that proud face even when it’s on an animal. damian is lucky, to have such a lush heart. to be able to hold onto all these people.
dextera doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t need to, really. the way he squeezes damian’s hand a little tighter, the way his breath sounds, for a moment, wet, says enough. ]
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I don't know who the babies are. [Even Yuu, who he met for a time.] But sometimes it's just them, and we play together.
The big one is scary. [Hmmmm. Is this still Damian's heart talking?] But he let me pet him once. [Which is enough.] Wanna try...?
Let's try.
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“scary,” huh? even damian gets spooked sometimes? ]
…
[ dextera swallows and blinks away any threatening tears, then nods. ]
What is this animal?
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A stag. That's a boy deer. He's really big, huh? It must mean he's pretty strong. He has big antlers, too. So he's old [sorry guren] and strong. The babies are fawn. They have little spots, see? [Oh.
Damian watches Dextera again for a moment, and then he stands up without pulling Dextera up with him. Carefully, he winds his arms around Dextera's neck and gives Dextera a squeezingly childish hug.]
Okay, come on. I'm not scared if you're with me.
[He offers Dextera his hand when he leans back.]
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…ah…
[ the hug is unexpected and warm, and dextera looks back at damian—almost awestruck by it. he’s going to remember this sensation forever, he thinks. ]
…he won’t hurt you, as long as you don’t call him old.
[ that’s dextera’s advice, and he takes damian’s hand with a slightly brighter smile. ]
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[Maybe.
With Dextera's hand in his, he helps Dextera up and they ease out of the brush and the path into the clearing. There's no surprise by the suddenly tense, stand-offish nature of Guren. The whole area gets a blanket of silence, and the fawn become like statues.
But Damian presses on, very careful and gentle, leading Dextera and not talking. They make it to the other edge of the pool of water to stand, and the fawn by Guren's side must be Yuu. It edges out from its hiding place behind Guren's long legs and peers at the two of them with curious scrutiny. Suddenly, it takes off like a bullet around the edge of the water, worriedly startling Guren and the others. It has to be Yuu, heading straight for Damian.] Wai--
Don't-- Wait! Wait-- [Damian has to let Dextera go and put both hands up, hunched some. The fawn hits him head-first with its nubby horns, and the two of them bowl over onto the grass. Damian's heart, slaughtered by an optimistic baby deer.
Except, Damian lets out a loud, playful round of laughter and rolls over to try to shield his face and head from a romping, butting deer.] Okay! Okay! Geez... [Why is he being bullied.]
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[ dextera doesn’t get a long look at the deer, considering its reckless movement, but he makes an educated guess that this one—well, maybe damian did meet yuu after all. that’s good. he wishes yuu were still in town, too, but dextera is glad that they’re immortalized in damian’s heart like this.
…maybe?
it looks like damian is having fun, even with such a wild little thing, and dextera laughs too, despite himself. he shouldn’t let the deer go too crazy, considering how small damian is here in his heart, but… a few seconds is fine. only when those seconds pass does dextera approach the two boys, guren’s tension momentarily forgotten. ]
…
[ he pats yuu’s flank, to get his attention, and signs something over the deer’s “shoulder” at damian. ]
Friends?
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Much like a puppy, the fawn startles gently at having its attention distracted by the pat. Unfortunately, Yuu steps all up on Damian and to the other side in the escape. Damian thankfully doesn't seem to mind tiny hooves, and he brushes himself off while nodding at Dextera.] Yeah. I don't know him very well, but... I guess we're friends. [Their real meeting went almost exactly like this.
Behind them, very close, the stag snorts loudly. Damian sits up straight, and the fawn tucks tail and trots quickly back behind the stag. The rest of the fawn have filed over in a huddle, and they seem more like baby ducks following a mother than baby deer.
Damian glances from the stag up at Dextera, and then he looks back.] Hi. This is my friend Dextera. He's really nice. We came to see the waterfall. [The stag turns a rather intelligent pair of eyes at Dextera, watchful, and then it snorts more gently this time. Maybe it's a "ha ha."
After a moment, it lowers its head to brandish the furry flat of its forehead between the antlers.]
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…
[ it… is asking to be pet, maybe. dextera thinks so. he’d paused for permission when it was with raven, but even though this is all damian’s creation, he feels like he has a little more permission when it comes to this representation of guren.
he sighs softly, fondly. ]
Come closer.
[ he gestures to damian, beckoning him, before gently placing his hand on the stag’s head. just holding it there, and then he strokes his thumb along the fur. ]
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I feel sad when I see him sometimes. I don't know why. It feels like... I miss him. It's weird.
[The stag finally brings its head down a bit more, but when Damian goes to pet, the stag snorts a smack of soft, hot air in Damian's face. Ah yes. Such was their relationship. Damian "wahs" and turns his head away, but he's partially smiling as he rubs his face with his forearm.] Yuck. Your breath smells. [A smelly old man stag. Gross.
The stag lifts its head back up and bumps Dextera in the middle of the chest with its snout. Even deer Guren fancies Dextera. Figures.]
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he smiles down at damian, their hands joined, and so he’s a little distracted when the guren-stag bumps against his chest. ]
—!
[ but then, he relaxes, and his gaze softens as he pets the stag under its chin, cradling its face for a moment with his free hand. it’s nice, to be able to do this, even if it’s just an illusion. ]
Thank you. [ to the stag, and then he turns to damian. ] He likes you. I can tell.
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He's really strong and he's brave. [Damian's hand grows warm. The gentle light blanketing him around the edges returns, but this time, it slowly gets more bright, or maybe it's seeping inward from the outside.] And sometimes, he's dumb and doesn't take care of himself, but he wants to help everyone else. And even if he's worried, he doesn't show it, so you aren't worried, too. [The light consumes Damian until he's nothing more than that, growing. He's bigger, slightly. His voice is somewhat deeper, more familiar.]
Frankly, he's an imbecile more often than not.
[The glow dies away as slowly as it came, leaving behind a thirteen year old boy with a sour face and a stream of tears, holding Dextera by the hand without letting go.] A self-sacrificing fool who cared too much about everyone else instead of himself, especially you. I still want to kill him for not letting us at least say goodbye. [As if they had a choice.] But... I'll miss his old, ugly, annoying ass.
[The stag and all the fawn don't move, just continue to look at the two of them. The edges of the clearing with the pool, the edges of the island completely, begin to crack and crumble, rushing inward to meet him and Dextera. Everything disappears until nothing is left but a slowly fading stag that snorts derisively at the both of them.]
He hasn't left us. We can still keep going.
[Even in the town again, Damian doesn't immediately let go of Dextera's hand. He does, however, reach up with his other to try to get rid of the wetness to his cheeks.]
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he wishes he could have stayed a little longer, to socialize with that stag, but it’s fine. it was enough. just as damian’s heart holds guren within it… maybe dextera’s can, too. ]
…
[ ah, it hurts. ]
It’s OK to cry.
[ dextera does all the time, after all. damian has seen it. he’s probably seeing it now, before dextera quickly lifts his own hand to brush away the tears threatening to drown his face. with his other, he squeezes damian’s hand, taking advantage of these last vestiges of vulnerability before damian’s tween pride kicks in. ]
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The core of him feels raw, but not painful. A little too warm maybe, like sunburn. Being able to let his heart say what it really wanted... It felt good. Refreshing. Something stuffed too full being opened, a pressure released. He may not be any more open than he had been before, or he may continue to struggle with saying his true feelings. It'll be okay. He's trying.
Breathing a very quiet sigh, he glances up at Dextera.]
I'm sorry... I can't bring him back.
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so he shakes his head. ]
He’s here.
[ dextera touches his fingers to damian’s chest, his heart. then, ]
And here.
[ his own. ]
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