awashlogs | March Catch-all!

No, I bought it. [She walks by, heading for the kitchen with the unerring sense of a psychometer.

And it's clear once she unwraps a pot of soup and some stewed apples that it's all hand-made.]

Bought it...? Did we start having legitimate businesses?

[ He is bad at this. He will never not be. He's never been to a store. How does this work?

And then he sees what she brought and he... ducks his head a little, nearly pouting. Ah, fooled again. ]

[He did get fooled but she smiles at him, affectionate. It's hard not to be when he's so sincere all the time.]

That was a joke. If we have leftovers, you can have the rest tomorrow.

[ Mm, leftovers. He can abide by leftovers.

He walks to the few cabinets in the kitchen and fetches plates. He only has enough tableware for two, but it's worked out so far. He starts setting them on the small table there. ]

I will like that... thank you, Shiho.

You're welcome. How.... how have you been lately?

[Because she's worried now that he seems to be by himself. But she'll let him answer at his own pace, turning away to give him the space as she starts to warm things back up. Thankfully she's also gotten really good at using these kitchens now, employing both psychometry as well as the results of her practicing back at the house she now calls her home.]

... It's quiet again. So I guess quiet.

[ Is quiet a 'how'? Not really, but it's better than trying to figure out his mood. Is he lonely? Is he disconnected? He's coping with some feelings he isn't used to and he's not having the easiest time of it.

The most he can say is moments like this, with people like Shiho or Kaoru or Minato or even Mutsu, help him forget those feelings. ]

I don't think "quiet" counts as a how. I mean what you've been feeling, if you're eating, lonely, other stuff like that.

And eating food you pick up off the ground outside doesn't count as eating. [What counts is the bowl of soup that is at the perfect temperature, not hot enough to burn him by accident but definitely enough to warm him up. She sets one of the bowls in front of him and leaves the other for herself. Meanwhile, the apples continue to bake, filling the house with what she hopes are warm, comforting smells. After all, the smell of food has always reminded her of home, of Minamoto making dinner.]

... I'm eating, but it is a little lonely again.

[ It's not like he had a real chance to get used to someone living here, but he enjoyed it. He liked hearing another person in the house. He can't trust himself to ever really live with his brother, so being in this place seems like his only option. At least if someone else is here with him it isn't so overwhelming.

Ah... well, okay then he is eating Sometimes. He won't correct himself right now. He has a feeling he will be scolded. ]

Oh. The soup smells good, Shiho.

I guessed as much. [And knowing he's lonely is worrying. Why can't he live with Dex, she wonders... this would all be so much easier if he could.

Then again there's probably a reason. Neither of them seemed like the type who would happily choose to be apart, right?]

And of course it does. I made it from scratch and spent a lot of effort on it, you know. So eat up.

[ It would be. He'd agree to... some extent. He's not really told anyone what happened that night and he'll continue not to as long as he can. Can he really say those ugly feelings are gone? If they aren't, could he ask anyone to trust him at all? Is trust really that important to him now?

What's happened to him since he arrived here? The way people see him has become more and more important. It's a lot to deal with. Being seen at all has been a lot to deal with.

He looks at the bowl again then up at Shiho. ]

Thank you. I will, so... eat with me, okay?

Of course.

[She won't pry. For now.

Instead she'll get herself another bowl of soup and settle across from him.]

I'm not going to do all this just to watch you eat it, you know? [....but she's watching him now, waiting for him to have a taste.]

Besides, it's lonely to eat by yourself.

Mm. [ He'd feel awkward if she did. He doesn't like just eating food he's been given alone. He should really learn how to make his own food and he knows it, but it seems like it'd be a long time before he could reach the point of making things like this.

By that time, Shiho might be gone. Minato might be gone. He might never be able to return the favors in food they've done for him. That had happened with Momo, hadn't it?

A gloominess lays over him again. ]

It is lonely.

[That look worries her and she knows with pretty much anyone else, they'd probably be reaching over to hold his hand or hug him or something. But she can't. It would be an invasion of his privacy.

So instead she reaches out to poke him on the back of his hand with the clean handle of her spoon.]

That's why we'll try to come over here as often as we can. And you should come over too.

[ He gives her a funny look, eyes moving from his hand to her then to his hand again, and he takes it as some silent order to start eating. He holds his spoon like a child, in his fist instead of clasped between his fingers. It's clumsy, but at least he's using utensils these days. ]

I can, but it isn't like I'm not used to being alone. I do not like it, but I am used to it.

[She won't say anything about the way he eats since she isn't Minamoto. If this works for Sinistra, then he can eat however he wants.

What is much more important though is what he says.]

If you don't like it, then you don't have to be used to it. When you're lonely, it's okay to say that you are.

Mm...

[ He pauses with his mouth around his spoon, thinking for a long moment before plucking it out and swallowing. He lets out a breath through his nose, stirring the spoon into his bowl in an idle motion. ]

Is it really okay? Would it not become burdensome?

Whether it's burdensome or not, that's for the other person to decide, right? I don't think it would be burdensome.

[She pauses before taking a sip of her own soup, resisting the urge to stir it around too.]

We're kind of like friends.

[ He stops and looks at her with wide eyes. Sure, they got along, but did she see them as friends? Even now, the concept still feels novel to him. He speaks in a smaller voice than before. ]

We're friends, Shiho? I mean... you see me as a friend...?

[That small voice breaks her heart and her own voice is softer too in reply.]

....So what if I do? Am I not allowed, or something?

You are... I just. I suppose I didn't expect to hear it so directly.

[ He's careful not to presume anyone's his 'friend'. He still can't understand how he's worthy of anyone's friendship or commitment. It's surprising that he's come this far at all. ]

.........Well then I'll say it more often. [To be contrary and because he does deserve to be told this.]

....We're friends.

[ She's so blunt about it... but he smiles when he hears it. A small but happy smile. ]

We're friends... Thank you. For being my friend.

[She's about to tell him that he doesn't have to thank her. But he looks so happy! And she did say that he needs to be more open about the things he feels.

Shiho is pouting, but rallies well anyways to say:]

....You're welcome. And thank you for being my friend too.

March Catch-all!

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