Who told you so, dilly dilly, Who told you so? ‘Twas my own heart, dilly dilly, That told me so.
ouch is one of the most intimate, romantic ways to be close to someone else. The Town knows this very well -- the Town wants everyone to be as close as possible.
Perhaps that's why this bonding is so...aggressive.
Because you're in for quite the shock on this otherwise peaceful day when you brush against the next person on your path.
Maybe you're going out of your way to touch people. Maybe you've got a terrible urge to just see what's lurking in someone's heart. Maybe you trip over a conveniently placed rock -- whatever the cause, you're getting an up close and personal look into someone else's heart.
Welcome to Awash's eighteenth event log, everyone! Further information on this event can be found here at the OOC post. You are welcome to make your own logs and posts for this event!
If there are any questions, please ask them here. Thank you!
[ "No use dwelling on it." That's almost in direct opposition to the mindset of gems who dwell on things for centuries upon centuries... Cairngorm isn't quite like the other gems in that regard, but they still can't imagine being as well adjusted as he is to the loss of a pivotal figure like that in a short few years. It's strange... ]
What about it is embarrassing? [ They ask, a little rhetorically. ] Nothing you've told me before is like that at all.
[ Maybe it's because of his "image", the one they've had discussions and small, mostly comical fights over. Is it embarrassing for them to know his humble beginnings? Personally, they don't think so. ]
I thought I already told you I don't care about that sort of thing.
[ The difference between "the gentleman thief" and "Arsène Lupin" that is. All there is is the person in front of them. ]
[ most people wouldn't be, to be fair to Cairngorm. Lupin's just incredibly good at adapting.
And they did already tell him this. It's perfectly logical, of course - they have no concept of his culture, no preconceived notions of him and what he should be. In a sense, they know him better than anyone; their impression of him is pure and impartial. Their comments soften his heart. They're sweet things to say, even if Cairngorm didn't necessarily intend them to be. Even Lupin isn't above feeling happy at someone appreciating him so honestly as a person.
They're right that the two of them have talked about this before, too, many times, and that probably only goes to show that he's more concerned over this matter than he'd like to believe he is. For a moment, he's quiet, ruminating on just how honest he should be. ]
... I'd like to be someone you admire. Someone you can believe in and rely on, even though I'm only human next to you. So being forced to show you a time I failed and was hurt is embarrassing. [ a pause; he smiles to himself, dryly, as he approaches the door of the hangar. Unsurprisingly, it's locked, but there's little doubt he can make short work of that problem. ] Well, I suppose admitting that much to you is just as embarrassing. Not doing well tonight, am I?
[ Their eyebrows raise the slightest bit at his confession, half surprised and half... just plain not expecting him to admit this sort of thing to them. Lupin has quite a bit of pride, that's something the both of them have (and has caused it's fair share of disputes between them), so they find these moments of openness rare and worthy of special consideration. ]
Someone I admire... [ Quietly, while they watch him fiddle with the door of the hangar. It looks like they, too, are trying to decide just how honest to be with him. Him working with the lock gives them some time to just think, folding their arms and keeping their eyes on the floor. ]
You know, I won't admire you more if you try to show off in front of me. [ That's the way Cairngorm has always been; taking what's in front of them for what it is. He shouldn't have to work to be more to them when he's already accepted them the way they are, too. ] And I won't admire you less seeing something like this.
[ Are they stating outright that they admire him? No. But they don't have to. Maybe he is just a human in comparison to them, but it isn't as if that's the only criteria there to find something admirable in. The way he's always treated them with care, taken their side, and the way he's a free spirit that does all those things of his own volition - those are traits to be admired. ]
I don't know why you're always feeling like you have to prove something to me... [ Rather than reprimanding, their tone is softened. ] You don't have to do that.
[ It does sound silly, laid out in such plain terms - the plain way that Cairngorm must look at things, he figures. Lupin's a romantic, but he's practical enough, too; none of this is news to him, not truly. He knows they admire him in some way, or they wouldn't have accepted his feelings. He knows that he doesn't have to prove himself to them, either, for that very same reason. Why, then? Maybe it has more to do with himself than it does with Cairngorm. His self image; his pride. If it was a problem that could be fixed with a heart-to-heart conversation - if it's a problem at all, really - then he's sure he would have done so already. But this bites at some core facet of his personality, and so all he can do is glance over at them with a gentle look in his eyes. ]
I know I don't. [ another reason it's embarrassing - it shows that part of him is possibly a little insecure, and he doesn't want to admit that. The door clicks open, and he tucks his lockpick back into whatever clandestine pocket he pulled it from. ] That's just part of why I love you.
[ never once has he been the sort who considers his fame and heroism a burden - he's never longed for a normal life, not once - but he enjoys all the same that Cairngorm treats him so normally and loves him exactly for who he is. He reaches out to take their hand again while he pulls open the door to lead them into the hangar.
Inside is an airship, identical to any one of the many flying above the city, save for the design emblazoned on its side; it's much larger than it appeared from below, and even seems much larger than what this hangar should be able to accomodate. Heart logic. The huge NeoSteam engine attached to the back is humming, suggesting that it's almost ready to take off - but the crew seems curiously absent. He beckons them along with him, quickly and quietly rushing over to the entry point in the lower cabin. ]
[ They don't know why they always feel taken off guard when he says I love you out loud, but he always seems to get them when they aren't ready for it. Cairngorm meets his gentle gaze with a faintly astonished one of their own, not really knowing what what they were talking about had to do with loving them or not - not that it totally matters, they guess, since hearing it from him makes them feel good, like they're being praised, no matter what. Their hand closes around his in response, if a little belatedly, letting him tug them along into the hangar.
It's hard not to stare at all the machinery around them, even as he's rushing them towards the lower cabin - they've never seen true machinery, outside of the gadgets at Lottie's house, and Sensei, they suppose. Neither of those things look quite like this. He seems to know what he's doing, so there's not much else they can do but to trust him and follow his lead, their eyes looking around for signs of anyone else aboard. ]
...This is all normal?
[ The otherworldly machines, the missing crew - it's hard to tell what's fabrication and what's really supposed to be a depiction of reality. ]
[ he does and does not know what he's doing. Lupin knows the basics of how to pilot an airship, by virtue of being around Impey a lot and having a natural gift for picking up new skills. Running a big one like this all alone? Probably impossible -- in the real world. But this is Lupin's heart, and Lupin really believes that he can do whatever he puts his mind to. He leads Cairngorm by the hand through the cabin, easily finding his way to the control deck and seeing that all the machinery does, in fact, look like something he can use. ]
Relatively speaking. I was expecting we'd have company here, to tell you the truth, but all the better we don't. Maybe the wolves chased them off?
[ or maybe they never existed at all, Lupin's heart paving the way for him and Cairngorm to do this thing he'd dreamed of - quite the opposite of Cairngorm's obstructing their path forward. The windows lining the walls around them are dark, seeing as they're still inside the dimly-lit hangar; he scans the array of analog buttons laid out before him before finding one that looks promising, and with a loud, jarring creak, the ceiling of the hangar starts to retract like an enormous furling sail. A satisfied grin pops up on his face, and he glances over his shoulder at Cairngorm, letting go of their hand to better navigate the controls. ]
Now we're talking. Hold on to me, Cairn - lifting off's always a bit rocky in these things.
[ yes, they weigh way more than him and will definitely fling him off his feet if they go down while holding him, but, honestly, that sounds kind of fun in itself, too. His heart is surprisingly light, despite the dark subject matter he'd been forced to contemplate yet again only moments ago. Perhaps, he thinks, being able to tell them about it was a good thing. He flicks a few more switches, pulls a lever or two, then, at last, grabs a loudly-painted valve and turns it. There's a hiss of steam as the engines kick on, and then the floor they're standing on rocks as the huge vehicle comes to life, shedding its weight and slowly beginning to lift into the air. ]
[ It's good thing they have no idea how literally any machinery works, since they can't tell either way if he's guessing his way through things or if he actually knows what's going on. Either way, it seems like he's doing enough for it to take off, with how the ceiling is moving and how there's sounds of hissing steam all around them. If he weren't so nonchalant about all this, it'd be a little frightening.
Well, it's still sort of frightening. ]
Aren't you the one who should hold onto me?!
[ They squawk when the floor lurches, stumbling - but they curl their arm around his waist regardless, less because he asked them to and more because they want to make sure he doesn't fall. Their free hand clutches at the edge of the control board, their knees feeling wobbly with the way the aircraft is slowly rising into the air against the laws of gravity - maybe it's because they're concerned for him, and maybe it's because they're sort of wary about doing something so fantastical, but their arm tightens around him a little more. ]
[ he laughs at their alarmed yelp, but it's a gentle laugh; he's not worried, clearly. He's done this plenty of times - perhaps not while at the helm of the ship, but that does nothing to dampen his confidence. Cairngorm's arm does help keep him steady on his feet, ironically. The rocking stops (or lessens, at least) as the airship drops the last of its weight and leaves the ground entirely, floating upwards towards the sky. Slowly, the cabin darkens as the lights from the hangar get farther away, and the ambient glow from the city streets become more visible.
Their comment gets him to glance over, a playful grin on his face. ]
Of course. Would I lie to you? If Lupin says he'll take you flying, he'll take you flying.
[ They feel better when the airship stops rocking so much, at least, as good as they can feel about slowly rising in the air. What if they fall from this height? Surely the both of them would get decimated in a tragedy like that. These are the sorts of things that are running through their head, up until they're distracted by his playful comments and smile. ]
You just got lucky that this was in your heart...
[ OF COURSE they're going to rain on his parade, even if they're not even complaining. Their hold around his waist loosens as the night sky envelops the both of them, their attention getting pulled to the glittering lights below and the subtle twinkle of the stars. Yes, being up here is terrifying for both of their sakes, but... it's also weirdly beautiful, and a sight they've never dreamed of seeing - they could never be up here in the sky, much less at night time, if not for a contraption like this.
They're not sure if they're supposed to stay by these controls, or if they're allowed to walk around, so they just stare, almost in a trance from where they stand next to him. The fear they'd felt slowly gives way to awe as the city gets smaller and smaller, the sight otherworldly enough to keep them from saying anything. ]
[ they're really the opposite of him when it comes to outlook - a never-ending fountain of negativity next to his optimism. As ever, he's not bothered by it; in fact, he only looks a little more triumphant. ]
My excellent luck is an important part of my skill set, ma petite chérie.
[ yeah try putting that on your resume lupin.
even though it's his heart and not the real city, it looks very much like the real thing, aside from the fact that it seems to extend endlessly in all directions - the Eiffel Tower is even visible from where they are now, all lit up at night. He's not quite confident enough to step away from the controls yet - he wants to make sure their position in the air is stable and that he isn't going to hit any other airships first - but he feels Cairngorm's arm slipping away from him, and he looks at them from the corner of his eye, giving them a little nod. ]
You can look closer, if you want. It's safe. Just don't lean on the windows, all right?
[ they're heavy enough that it'd make him a little worried. ]
[ Hmm... he says it's okay, so it probably is, but they can't help making eye contact with him to double, triple check. As usual, there's nothing but confidence there - they're not really sure why they expected anything less - so they slip their arm from around him, making their way over closer to the windows carefully.
They're silent while they take in the city, brows raising when they get closer and see just how far the city extends. It's massive, by their standards. They can't imagine how many people must live there when it's reality, and not depiction filtered through Lupin's heart - it has to be lots of times bigger than Chroma, that's for sure. It's sort of amazing that in a place full of so many people that he's so well known, isn't it? They guess it was never really possible to envision how big the city could be until this moment.
After a long pause, they turn half-way back towards him, wanting to hear him talk more about the city below, to learn more about him and understand him more. And they want him by their side, too. ]
Aren't you going to look, too? Or do you have to stay in front of that thing...
I'm just making sure we don't float off into the aether. Give me a moment...
[ fortunately for Cairngorm, he was about done, anyway; he thinks the airship's reached a decent height (according to his vague memories of Impey's piloting and his general guess based on looking out the windows.) After a few more movements across the control panel, he takes a tentative step back; when nothing catastrophic happens, he nods to himself, wandering over towards them. Now it's his turn to wind an arm around their waist, gazing out at the cityscape beneath them. ]
Beautiful, isn't it? You won't get a view like this anywhere else.
[ it is, of course, not entirely accurate - but in a way, that only makes it more unique. The festival atmosphere of his heart is just as pronounced, even from high up; the vibrant banners still show their colors, and the confetti seemingly falling from nowhere glitters in the lamplight. Above them is a blanket of stars - although the night view from their home island is probably even better, thanks to the lack of light. ]
[ They spare him a glance when he comes over and wraps his arm around their waist, before turning back to the cityscape below them, glittering and colorful and bright. It's busy and lively, and starkly different from both the world they came from and the world they met him in, almost to a jarring extent. Looking at it, it's basically the opposite of everything they've ever come to know. ]
It's... sort of like a dream. [ In that it doesn't feel real, or remotely possible. They guess that technically, it isn't real, and it isn't possible, so maybe it really is closer to a dream than anything else. ] You really come from a place like this?
[ Probably not exactly like this, but the concept is there all the same: a busy and vibrant metropolis that he made a name for himself in. ]
[ he hums in response - it is like a dream. He's seen this view countless times, but he still thinks it's beautiful. Paris is his home. It's not perfect, and it has plenty of ugly spots, but it's home, and it's where he belongs, even if the real thing hasn't got his face pasted all over it. Their being here with him is what really makes it dreamlike. There are so many things he wants to show them -- but this is about the limit of what he can do here, so the rest will have to wait until he can bring them to the real thing.
The thought enters his mind of its own accord - yes, the real thing, when he brings them back to Paris with him. It's not the first time it's crossed his mind. It had always been a fleeting dream, of course, one that he entertained only in brief flights of fancy; only recently has he dared to truly consider it. To selfishly steal Cairngorm away from their duties and to a life of love and adventure with him back home in the world of humans, instead. Ever since he'd seen them cry back then, and in that brief moment of passion confessed that he was glad to be here at their side, that he wanted to be there more than anywhere else, he's thought about it. Now he's thinking about it again. Always the romantic. He wonders what his old man would think of this situation - what would a proper gentleman do? Lupin's eyes drift from the cityscape to Cairngorm, distant and thoughtful, interrupted only by their question. ]
That's right - my whole life, generally speaking. The first twelve or so years were spent in places more like that dark alley than any beautiful main streets, but it's all part of the same city. Paris - the city of love.
[ Cairngorm is blissfully unaware that that's what he's thinking, or that he's even really looking at them. They're trying to look at the city as much as they can, so they can remember it later - to them, there's no way they'll ever see this again. They try to be attentive about their time with him, even if cherishing every moment that passes is almost directly opposite to the way gems go about their lives. More and more of them is wishing that things didn't have to be this way, ever since they spoke with Dextera about where they'd end up after all of this is over.
Their obligations feel more unfair as the days go by, even if they're convinced that those duties are unavoidable. Unconsciously, they lean a little more into his side, resting their hand on the sill of one of the windows. ]
...It resembles you. [ Both in name and in appearance. It's strange, but bright and colorful and happy, too. ] I thought you lived in "London," though...
[ that's a sweet thing to say -- and a sweet thing to think, too. Lupin feels a warm rush of happiness butterfly through his veins at the comment, and he leans back against them, squeezing the arm around their waist. They can talk about it later. The end is too heavy a topic to bring up; it'd ruin the moment. ]
Hahaha. That might be one of the best compliments I've ever received. [ he loves Paris, after all! He wants to know what parts of him are similar, but if he asks, they'll probably clam up... ]
You're right - I was living in London before I got here. But I'm only there temporarily on business. Once I've finished taking care of that terrorist cell and Cardia's poison, I'll be heading back here. London's nice, but there's no place like home.
[ You're just saying that, is what they want to say, but that would probably just result in further discussion of what they'd said. It's fine. There's always unspoken understanding between the two of them despite their vastly different personalities and lives; that's one of the greatest things about their relationship. So they just move on, knowing the comment pleased him and knowing that he knows they don't like to be prodded. ]
...But you live with those other people. [ Saint-Germain, Impey, and all those folks. ] Will they move with you?
[ Other than Saint-Germain, they guess, who owns the place, if they remember correctly. Of course, to someone who's always lived with the same people, it seems a little odd to just move away from them entirely - that's one of just 3 million reasons why even the prospect of leaving Earth for the moon is so preposterous. It's especially strange considering he seems so close with those people, if that picture was anything to go by. ]
[ the idea of moving away would sound absurd to someone who's lived on the same island with the same people for a thousand years, wouldn't it? He didn't think about it before. With a somewhat bittersweet smile, he shakes his head. ]
No. They've all got their own lives to live. Impey might come with me, but I can't imagine any of the others would. Most of them have their homes there.
[ the lights of Paris seem to be twinkling smaller and smaller, although he doesn't think the ship is moving up anymore. Maybe people are finally going to sleep for the night. ]
But it's all right. Even if we're not living together, we can still visit one another, or even just send mails. Impey's even been working on a device that lets you record audio messages.
Oh. [ Their response is muted, tilting their head just slightly as they watch the lights of Paris flicker. That must be nice, that those people can be apart from him but still hear from him and see him from time to time. It'd be something to be jealous about if the same alternative was even remotely available to them, but it just isn't given that there hasn't ever been a need for a concept like mail or long range messages on their earth, nor the means to create a system like that. ]
I forgot you could write notes. Normal ones. [ And Not mysterious love notes. ] "Staying in touch" is easier out there, huh...
[ Easier than it is to stay in touch with people out of Chroma, that is. ]
Mm. It can take a few weeks for your letters to reach their destination, if they're going far enough, but it's a small price to pay. My world is so big that if we didn't have letters and things like that, we might lose track of each other in the crowd.
[ speaking metaphorically, of course. He remembers what Cairngorm said, about their tiny little island and their tiny clan of gems that they've spent a thousand years with; the idea of there being so many people around that you need a way to keep track of each other is probably hard to grasp, too. Lupin's eyes flick down to them again, burnished bronze in the dim light.
They're thinking about separating again, aren't they? Quietly, he holds them a little closer, a roguish grin playing about his face. ]
[ They frown disapprovingly, even as they rest the side of their head on his shoulder when he holds them closer. ]
You know that isn't possible, [ At least they're not getting in their feelings over saying that; they're just stating the truth to trump his teasing. ] And you already wrote one before...
[ Is... is that the kind of thing humans do on multiple occasions? They still have the letter since they thought that was a sort of one-time thing (and because it meant a lot too, but no one needs to know that.) They look up from where they're resting, knowing full well that they didn't outright say no, even if they said it wasn't possible. There was something sort of exciting about receiving something a letter like that, even if the circumstances had also given them a lot of dread and worry. It'd probably feel better to get one now... ]
Besides... you can just tell me whatever you need to in person.
Sure, but I could write a lot more of them. I could spend pages waxing poetic about my feelings for you. [ amused. ] It'd be really embarrassing.
[ ... maybe too much for even him. But maybe not. He feels quite confident he could really go on for quite a while about them. It's hardly been any time at all, really, and yet, here he is, completely head over heels. He gave Impey so much guff about being a fool for love - he owes the man an apology when he sees him next, because he's apparently the same way.
Then again, maybe it's been longer than he gives it credit for. Their relationship was one they started building the day he arrived, after all... and everything that happened before he fell in love was part of his feelings, too. This connection between them isn't so flimsy. That's why he could bare the most vulnerable part of his past to them like that and still hold them with confidence and laugh now, less than an hour later. ]
You're right about that, though. [ he smiles, very fondly, and presses a kiss against their hair, murmuring: ] I love you.
[ he said it already tonight, but he says it again, unable to resist falling for the bait they set out. The airship seems like it's floating high up into the clouds, and soon the lights of Paris are hardly visible at all, hazy blue light from the moon illuminating the cabin more than anything. ]
[ At least he admits that it'd be embarrassing - they have to agree. It used to make them nervous whenever he would even just pay close attention to them or speak to them too directly. They suppose the same holds true now, too, but in a different way; it makes them nervously excited, similar to the feeling that having a racing heart had felt. They don't get tired of the attention, even if it is embarrassing for him to talk about writing for them for pages. Some pink bleeds into their cheeks among the flecks of black, accented by the glinting from the low light.
They close their eyes momentarily as he murmurs against their hair, letting out a slow breath. It's not surprising that he would say that after that lead up, but they still feel the words run a pleasant shock through them, like they're slowly mending the hole in them left from years of going unseen. They pull back just enough to look at him seriously, eyelids seeming heavy.
It turns out that it isn't from the dark; after a pause, one of their hands leaves the window sill to hold the fabric just beneath his collar, giving it a gentle but firm tug. They don't think they can say it back out loud, not just yet. But they want him to know, and that's the important thing. Even with their heels on, they can't quite reach up to kiss him on their own unless he leans into it, so they pull him down gently, tilting their head up and fluttering their eyes closed as they press their lips against his. They're alone right now, so it's okay to let down their guard completely like this. Maybe it's the dim light from the moon washing over them, or maybe it's the surrealness of their surroundings, but it feels like they're far, far away from everything that defines them both, both nowhere and anywhere at all - it's an escape, albeit a fleeting one. They linger for as long as he'll allow it, wanting to prolong the sense of fulfillment and affection welling up in them for as long as they can. They love him too. ]
[ he always swoons just a little bit when they kiss him. Do they know that? He doesn't know if they notice the way he stills for a fraction of a second when they make the first move, even though he's a master thief who's supposed to be ready for anything. It's dark and their eyes are closed; maybe they don't see the way his cheeks turn unabashedly red, either. Lupin bends easily to their assertiveness - eagerly, even - leaning down with a smile he can only hide against their lips.
They don't have to say it to him for him to know.
His hands curl supportively against their uniform into the smooth curve of their back, and if it wasn't for their being so heavy, he'd lift them up, he thinks, and dip them, like they were dancing together again, for the drama of it all in this setting -- but he can't, even in his heart, it seems, so he just holds them and lets them kiss him for as long as his lungs will allow. Maybe even a little longer than that, if the slight dizziness he feels when he finally puts a bit of space between them. But how can he not push himself to his limit? He feels it, too - like this is a stolen moment. And considering that, when they open their eyes, they'll both find themselves standing in Lupin's living room in Chroma again and not in the cabin of an airship, maybe it really was. Lupin sighs, sounding disappointed, even if he hardly moves away from them to look. ]
[ They don't open their eyes until they hear his disappointed sigh, so they're already prepared for what they see when they do. Their shoulders slump a little unknowingly, breathing out a similarly disappointed and quiet sigh through their nose. ]
...We couldn't have stayed there forever.
[ That's the truth that they know they're both aware of, so there's no bite in their tone. Slowly, almost reluctantly, they relax from how they'd been leaning up towards him - but they don't pull out of his embrace entirely, letting their hand rest on his shoulder. ]
And you did get to show me what you wanted to.
[ Well, not everything he wanted to, but he'd wanted to take them flying, and he accomplished that much. That's more than they expected out of Chroma - what really would have been expected is if the airship had blown up or crashed or had some awful beast on it. They did get their little fairytale moment, no matter how fleeting, and Cairngorm is the type that isn't greedy. ]
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ouch is one of the most intimate, romantic ways to be close to someone else. The Town knows this very well -- the Town wants everyone to be as close as possible.
no subject
What about it is embarrassing? [ They ask, a little rhetorically. ] Nothing you've told me before is like that at all.
[ Maybe it's because of his "image", the one they've had discussions and small, mostly comical fights over. Is it embarrassing for them to know his humble beginnings? Personally, they don't think so. ]
I thought I already told you I don't care about that sort of thing.
[ The difference between "the gentleman thief" and "Arsène Lupin" that is. All there is is the person in front of them. ]
no subject
And they did already tell him this. It's perfectly logical, of course - they have no concept of his culture, no preconceived notions of him and what he should be. In a sense, they know him better than anyone; their impression of him is pure and impartial. Their comments soften his heart. They're sweet things to say, even if Cairngorm didn't necessarily intend them to be. Even Lupin isn't above feeling happy at someone appreciating him so honestly as a person.
They're right that the two of them have talked about this before, too, many times, and that probably only goes to show that he's more concerned over this matter than he'd like to believe he is. For a moment, he's quiet, ruminating on just how honest he should be. ]
... I'd like to be someone you admire. Someone you can believe in and rely on, even though I'm only human next to you. So being forced to show you a time I failed and was hurt is embarrassing. [ a pause; he smiles to himself, dryly, as he approaches the door of the hangar. Unsurprisingly, it's locked, but there's little doubt he can make short work of that problem. ] Well, I suppose admitting that much to you is just as embarrassing. Not doing well tonight, am I?
no subject
Someone I admire... [ Quietly, while they watch him fiddle with the door of the hangar. It looks like they, too, are trying to decide just how honest to be with him. Him working with the lock gives them some time to just think, folding their arms and keeping their eyes on the floor. ]
You know, I won't admire you more if you try to show off in front of me. [ That's the way Cairngorm has always been; taking what's in front of them for what it is. He shouldn't have to work to be more to them when he's already accepted them the way they are, too. ] And I won't admire you less seeing something like this.
[ Are they stating outright that they admire him? No. But they don't have to. Maybe he is just a human in comparison to them, but it isn't as if that's the only criteria there to find something admirable in. The way he's always treated them with care, taken their side, and the way he's a free spirit that does all those things of his own volition - those are traits to be admired. ]
I don't know why you're always feeling like you have to prove something to me... [ Rather than reprimanding, their tone is softened. ] You don't have to do that.
no subject
I know I don't. [ another reason it's embarrassing - it shows that part of him is possibly a little insecure, and he doesn't want to admit that. The door clicks open, and he tucks his lockpick back into whatever clandestine pocket he pulled it from. ] That's just part of why I love you.
[ never once has he been the sort who considers his fame and heroism a burden - he's never longed for a normal life, not once - but he enjoys all the same that Cairngorm treats him so normally and loves him exactly for who he is. He reaches out to take their hand again while he pulls open the door to lead them into the hangar.
Inside is an airship, identical to any one of the many flying above the city, save for the design emblazoned on its side; it's much larger than it appeared from below, and even seems much larger than what this hangar should be able to accomodate. Heart logic. The huge NeoSteam engine attached to the back is humming, suggesting that it's almost ready to take off - but the crew seems curiously absent. He beckons them along with him, quickly and quietly rushing over to the entry point in the lower cabin. ]
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It's hard not to stare at all the machinery around them, even as he's rushing them towards the lower cabin - they've never seen true machinery, outside of the gadgets at Lottie's house, and Sensei, they suppose. Neither of those things look quite like this. He seems to know what he's doing, so there's not much else they can do but to trust him and follow his lead, their eyes looking around for signs of anyone else aboard. ]
...This is all normal?
[ The otherworldly machines, the missing crew - it's hard to tell what's fabrication and what's really supposed to be a depiction of reality. ]
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Relatively speaking. I was expecting we'd have company here, to tell you the truth, but all the better we don't. Maybe the wolves chased them off?
[ or maybe they never existed at all, Lupin's heart paving the way for him and Cairngorm to do this thing he'd dreamed of - quite the opposite of Cairngorm's obstructing their path forward. The windows lining the walls around them are dark, seeing as they're still inside the dimly-lit hangar; he scans the array of analog buttons laid out before him before finding one that looks promising, and with a loud, jarring creak, the ceiling of the hangar starts to retract like an enormous furling sail. A satisfied grin pops up on his face, and he glances over his shoulder at Cairngorm, letting go of their hand to better navigate the controls. ]
Now we're talking. Hold on to me, Cairn - lifting off's always a bit rocky in these things.
[ yes, they weigh way more than him and will definitely fling him off his feet if they go down while holding him, but, honestly, that sounds kind of fun in itself, too. His heart is surprisingly light, despite the dark subject matter he'd been forced to contemplate yet again only moments ago. Perhaps, he thinks, being able to tell them about it was a good thing. He flicks a few more switches, pulls a lever or two, then, at last, grabs a loudly-painted valve and turns it. There's a hiss of steam as the engines kick on, and then the floor they're standing on rocks as the huge vehicle comes to life, shedding its weight and slowly beginning to lift into the air. ]
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Well, it's still sort of frightening. ]
Aren't you the one who should hold onto me?!
[ They squawk when the floor lurches, stumbling - but they curl their arm around his waist regardless, less because he asked them to and more because they want to make sure he doesn't fall. Their free hand clutches at the edge of the control board, their knees feeling wobbly with the way the aircraft is slowly rising into the air against the laws of gravity - maybe it's because they're concerned for him, and maybe it's because they're sort of wary about doing something so fantastical, but their arm tightens around him a little more. ]
It's... really going up...
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[ he laughs at their alarmed yelp, but it's a gentle laugh; he's not worried, clearly. He's done this plenty of times - perhaps not while at the helm of the ship, but that does nothing to dampen his confidence. Cairngorm's arm does help keep him steady on his feet, ironically. The rocking stops (or lessens, at least) as the airship drops the last of its weight and leaves the ground entirely, floating upwards towards the sky. Slowly, the cabin darkens as the lights from the hangar get farther away, and the ambient glow from the city streets become more visible.
Their comment gets him to glance over, a playful grin on his face. ]
Of course. Would I lie to you? If Lupin says he'll take you flying, he'll take you flying.
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You just got lucky that this was in your heart...
[ OF COURSE they're going to rain on his parade, even if they're not even complaining. Their hold around his waist loosens as the night sky envelops the both of them, their attention getting pulled to the glittering lights below and the subtle twinkle of the stars. Yes, being up here is terrifying for both of their sakes, but... it's also weirdly beautiful, and a sight they've never dreamed of seeing - they could never be up here in the sky, much less at night time, if not for a contraption like this.
They're not sure if they're supposed to stay by these controls, or if they're allowed to walk around, so they just stare, almost in a trance from where they stand next to him. The fear they'd felt slowly gives way to awe as the city gets smaller and smaller, the sight otherworldly enough to keep them from saying anything. ]
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My excellent luck is an important part of my skill set, ma petite chérie.
[ yeah try putting that on your resume lupin.
even though it's his heart and not the real city, it looks very much like the real thing, aside from the fact that it seems to extend endlessly in all directions - the Eiffel Tower is even visible from where they are now, all lit up at night. He's not quite confident enough to step away from the controls yet - he wants to make sure their position in the air is stable and that he isn't going to hit any other airships first - but he feels Cairngorm's arm slipping away from him, and he looks at them from the corner of his eye, giving them a little nod. ]
You can look closer, if you want. It's safe. Just don't lean on the windows, all right?
[ they're heavy enough that it'd make him a little worried. ]
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They're silent while they take in the city, brows raising when they get closer and see just how far the city extends. It's massive, by their standards. They can't imagine how many people must live there when it's reality, and not depiction filtered through Lupin's heart - it has to be lots of times bigger than Chroma, that's for sure. It's sort of amazing that in a place full of so many people that he's so well known, isn't it? They guess it was never really possible to envision how big the city could be until this moment.
After a long pause, they turn half-way back towards him, wanting to hear him talk more about the city below, to learn more about him and understand him more. And they want him by their side, too. ]
Aren't you going to look, too? Or do you have to stay in front of that thing...
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[ fortunately for Cairngorm, he was about done, anyway; he thinks the airship's reached a decent height (according to his vague memories of Impey's piloting and his general guess based on looking out the windows.) After a few more movements across the control panel, he takes a tentative step back; when nothing catastrophic happens, he nods to himself, wandering over towards them. Now it's his turn to wind an arm around their waist, gazing out at the cityscape beneath them. ]
Beautiful, isn't it? You won't get a view like this anywhere else.
[ it is, of course, not entirely accurate - but in a way, that only makes it more unique. The festival atmosphere of his heart is just as pronounced, even from high up; the vibrant banners still show their colors, and the confetti seemingly falling from nowhere glitters in the lamplight. Above them is a blanket of stars - although the night view from their home island is probably even better, thanks to the lack of light. ]
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It's... sort of like a dream. [ In that it doesn't feel real, or remotely possible. They guess that technically, it isn't real, and it isn't possible, so maybe it really is closer to a dream than anything else. ] You really come from a place like this?
[ Probably not exactly like this, but the concept is there all the same: a busy and vibrant metropolis that he made a name for himself in. ]
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The thought enters his mind of its own accord - yes, the real thing, when he brings them back to Paris with him. It's not the first time it's crossed his mind. It had always been a fleeting dream, of course, one that he entertained only in brief flights of fancy; only recently has he dared to truly consider it. To selfishly steal Cairngorm away from their duties and to a life of love and adventure with him back home in the world of humans, instead. Ever since he'd seen them cry back then, and in that brief moment of passion confessed that he was glad to be here at their side, that he wanted to be there more than anywhere else, he's thought about it. Now he's thinking about it again. Always the romantic. He wonders what his old man would think of this situation - what would a proper gentleman do? Lupin's eyes drift from the cityscape to Cairngorm, distant and thoughtful, interrupted only by their question. ]
That's right - my whole life, generally speaking. The first twelve or so years were spent in places more like that dark alley than any beautiful main streets, but it's all part of the same city. Paris - the city of love.
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Their obligations feel more unfair as the days go by, even if they're convinced that those duties are unavoidable. Unconsciously, they lean a little more into his side, resting their hand on the sill of one of the windows. ]
...It resembles you. [ Both in name and in appearance. It's strange, but bright and colorful and happy, too. ] I thought you lived in "London," though...
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Hahaha. That might be one of the best compliments I've ever received. [ he loves Paris, after all! He wants to know what parts of him are similar, but if he asks, they'll probably clam up... ]
You're right - I was living in London before I got here. But I'm only there temporarily on business. Once I've finished taking care of that terrorist cell and Cardia's poison, I'll be heading back here. London's nice, but there's no place like home.
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...But you live with those other people. [ Saint-Germain, Impey, and all those folks. ] Will they move with you?
[ Other than Saint-Germain, they guess, who owns the place, if they remember correctly. Of course, to someone who's always lived with the same people, it seems a little odd to just move away from them entirely - that's one of just 3 million reasons why even the prospect of leaving Earth for the moon is so preposterous. It's especially strange considering he seems so close with those people, if that picture was anything to go by. ]
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No. They've all got their own lives to live. Impey might come with me, but I can't imagine any of the others would. Most of them have their homes there.
[ the lights of Paris seem to be twinkling smaller and smaller, although he doesn't think the ship is moving up anymore. Maybe people are finally going to sleep for the night. ]
But it's all right. Even if we're not living together, we can still visit one another, or even just send mails. Impey's even been working on a device that lets you record audio messages.
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I forgot you could write notes. Normal ones. [ And Not mysterious love notes. ] "Staying in touch" is easier out there, huh...
[ Easier than it is to stay in touch with people out of Chroma, that is. ]
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[ speaking metaphorically, of course. He remembers what Cairngorm said, about their tiny little island and their tiny clan of gems that they've spent a thousand years with; the idea of there being so many people around that you need a way to keep track of each other is probably hard to grasp, too. Lupin's eyes flick down to them again, burnished bronze in the dim light.
They're thinking about separating again, aren't they? Quietly, he holds them a little closer, a roguish grin playing about his face. ]
Want me to send you a love letter?
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You know that isn't possible, [ At least they're not getting in their feelings over saying that; they're just stating the truth to trump his teasing. ] And you already wrote one before...
[ Is... is that the kind of thing humans do on multiple occasions? They still have the letter since they thought that was a sort of one-time thing (and because it meant a lot too, but no one needs to know that.) They look up from where they're resting, knowing full well that they didn't outright say no, even if they said it wasn't possible. There was something sort of exciting about receiving something a letter like that, even if the circumstances had also given them a lot of dread and worry. It'd probably feel better to get one now... ]
Besides... you can just tell me whatever you need to in person.
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Sure, but I could write a lot more of them. I could spend pages waxing poetic about my feelings for you. [ amused. ] It'd be really embarrassing.
[ ... maybe too much for even him. But maybe not. He feels quite confident he could really go on for quite a while about them. It's hardly been any time at all, really, and yet, here he is, completely head over heels. He gave Impey so much guff about being a fool for love - he owes the man an apology when he sees him next, because he's apparently the same way.
Then again, maybe it's been longer than he gives it credit for. Their relationship was one they started building the day he arrived, after all... and everything that happened before he fell in love was part of his feelings, too. This connection between them isn't so flimsy. That's why he could bare the most vulnerable part of his past to them like that and still hold them with confidence and laugh now, less than an hour later. ]
You're right about that, though. [ he smiles, very fondly, and presses a kiss against their hair, murmuring: ] I love you.
[ he said it already tonight, but he says it again, unable to resist falling for the bait they set out. The airship seems like it's floating high up into the clouds, and soon the lights of Paris are hardly visible at all, hazy blue light from the moon illuminating the cabin more than anything. ]
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They close their eyes momentarily as he murmurs against their hair, letting out a slow breath. It's not surprising that he would say that after that lead up, but they still feel the words run a pleasant shock through them, like they're slowly mending the hole in them left from years of going unseen. They pull back just enough to look at him seriously, eyelids seeming heavy.
It turns out that it isn't from the dark; after a pause, one of their hands leaves the window sill to hold the fabric just beneath his collar, giving it a gentle but firm tug. They don't think they can say it back out loud, not just yet. But they want him to know, and that's the important thing. Even with their heels on, they can't quite reach up to kiss him on their own unless he leans into it, so they pull him down gently, tilting their head up and fluttering their eyes closed as they press their lips against his. They're alone right now, so it's okay to let down their guard completely like this. Maybe it's the dim light from the moon washing over them, or maybe it's the surrealness of their surroundings, but it feels like they're far, far away from everything that defines them both, both nowhere and anywhere at all - it's an escape, albeit a fleeting one. They linger for as long as he'll allow it, wanting to prolong the sense of fulfillment and affection welling up in them for as long as they can. They love him too. ]
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They don't have to say it to him for him to know.
His hands curl supportively against their uniform into the smooth curve of their back, and if it wasn't for their being so heavy, he'd lift them up, he thinks, and dip them, like they were dancing together again, for the drama of it all in this setting -- but he can't, even in his heart, it seems, so he just holds them and lets them kiss him for as long as his lungs will allow. Maybe even a little longer than that, if the slight dizziness he feels when he finally puts a bit of space between them. But how can he not push himself to his limit? He feels it, too - like this is a stolen moment. And considering that, when they open their eyes, they'll both find themselves standing in Lupin's living room in Chroma again and not in the cabin of an airship, maybe it really was. Lupin sighs, sounding disappointed, even if he hardly moves away from them to look. ]
It's over already?
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...We couldn't have stayed there forever.
[ That's the truth that they know they're both aware of, so there's no bite in their tone. Slowly, almost reluctantly, they relax from how they'd been leaning up towards him - but they don't pull out of his embrace entirely, letting their hand rest on his shoulder. ]
And you did get to show me what you wanted to.
[ Well, not everything he wanted to, but he'd wanted to take them flying, and he accomplished that much. That's more than they expected out of Chroma - what really would have been expected is if the airship had blown up or crashed or had some awful beast on it. They did get their little fairytale moment, no matter how fleeting, and Cairngorm is the type that isn't greedy. ]
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