Who told you so, dilly dilly, Who told you so? ‘Twas my own heart, dilly dilly, That told me so.
ouch is one of the most intimate, romantic ways to be close to someone else. The Town knows this very well -- the Town wants everyone to be as close as possible.
Perhaps that's why this bonding is so...aggressive.
Because you're in for quite the shock on this otherwise peaceful day when you brush against the next person on your path.
Maybe you're going out of your way to touch people. Maybe you've got a terrible urge to just see what's lurking in someone's heart. Maybe you trip over a conveniently placed rock -- whatever the cause, you're getting an up close and personal look into someone else's heart.
Welcome to Awash's eighteenth event log, everyone! Further information on this event can be found here at the OOC post. You are welcome to make your own logs and posts for this event!
If there are any questions, please ask them here. Thank you!
[ Cairngorm is blissfully unaware that that's what he's thinking, or that he's even really looking at them. They're trying to look at the city as much as they can, so they can remember it later - to them, there's no way they'll ever see this again. They try to be attentive about their time with him, even if cherishing every moment that passes is almost directly opposite to the way gems go about their lives. More and more of them is wishing that things didn't have to be this way, ever since they spoke with Dextera about where they'd end up after all of this is over.
Their obligations feel more unfair as the days go by, even if they're convinced that those duties are unavoidable. Unconsciously, they lean a little more into his side, resting their hand on the sill of one of the windows. ]
...It resembles you. [ Both in name and in appearance. It's strange, but bright and colorful and happy, too. ] I thought you lived in "London," though...
[ that's a sweet thing to say -- and a sweet thing to think, too. Lupin feels a warm rush of happiness butterfly through his veins at the comment, and he leans back against them, squeezing the arm around their waist. They can talk about it later. The end is too heavy a topic to bring up; it'd ruin the moment. ]
Hahaha. That might be one of the best compliments I've ever received. [ he loves Paris, after all! He wants to know what parts of him are similar, but if he asks, they'll probably clam up... ]
You're right - I was living in London before I got here. But I'm only there temporarily on business. Once I've finished taking care of that terrorist cell and Cardia's poison, I'll be heading back here. London's nice, but there's no place like home.
[ You're just saying that, is what they want to say, but that would probably just result in further discussion of what they'd said. It's fine. There's always unspoken understanding between the two of them despite their vastly different personalities and lives; that's one of the greatest things about their relationship. So they just move on, knowing the comment pleased him and knowing that he knows they don't like to be prodded. ]
...But you live with those other people. [ Saint-Germain, Impey, and all those folks. ] Will they move with you?
[ Other than Saint-Germain, they guess, who owns the place, if they remember correctly. Of course, to someone who's always lived with the same people, it seems a little odd to just move away from them entirely - that's one of just 3 million reasons why even the prospect of leaving Earth for the moon is so preposterous. It's especially strange considering he seems so close with those people, if that picture was anything to go by. ]
[ the idea of moving away would sound absurd to someone who's lived on the same island with the same people for a thousand years, wouldn't it? He didn't think about it before. With a somewhat bittersweet smile, he shakes his head. ]
No. They've all got their own lives to live. Impey might come with me, but I can't imagine any of the others would. Most of them have their homes there.
[ the lights of Paris seem to be twinkling smaller and smaller, although he doesn't think the ship is moving up anymore. Maybe people are finally going to sleep for the night. ]
But it's all right. Even if we're not living together, we can still visit one another, or even just send mails. Impey's even been working on a device that lets you record audio messages.
Oh. [ Their response is muted, tilting their head just slightly as they watch the lights of Paris flicker. That must be nice, that those people can be apart from him but still hear from him and see him from time to time. It'd be something to be jealous about if the same alternative was even remotely available to them, but it just isn't given that there hasn't ever been a need for a concept like mail or long range messages on their earth, nor the means to create a system like that. ]
I forgot you could write notes. Normal ones. [ And Not mysterious love notes. ] "Staying in touch" is easier out there, huh...
[ Easier than it is to stay in touch with people out of Chroma, that is. ]
Mm. It can take a few weeks for your letters to reach their destination, if they're going far enough, but it's a small price to pay. My world is so big that if we didn't have letters and things like that, we might lose track of each other in the crowd.
[ speaking metaphorically, of course. He remembers what Cairngorm said, about their tiny little island and their tiny clan of gems that they've spent a thousand years with; the idea of there being so many people around that you need a way to keep track of each other is probably hard to grasp, too. Lupin's eyes flick down to them again, burnished bronze in the dim light.
They're thinking about separating again, aren't they? Quietly, he holds them a little closer, a roguish grin playing about his face. ]
[ They frown disapprovingly, even as they rest the side of their head on his shoulder when he holds them closer. ]
You know that isn't possible, [ At least they're not getting in their feelings over saying that; they're just stating the truth to trump his teasing. ] And you already wrote one before...
[ Is... is that the kind of thing humans do on multiple occasions? They still have the letter since they thought that was a sort of one-time thing (and because it meant a lot too, but no one needs to know that.) They look up from where they're resting, knowing full well that they didn't outright say no, even if they said it wasn't possible. There was something sort of exciting about receiving something a letter like that, even if the circumstances had also given them a lot of dread and worry. It'd probably feel better to get one now... ]
Besides... you can just tell me whatever you need to in person.
Sure, but I could write a lot more of them. I could spend pages waxing poetic about my feelings for you. [ amused. ] It'd be really embarrassing.
[ ... maybe too much for even him. But maybe not. He feels quite confident he could really go on for quite a while about them. It's hardly been any time at all, really, and yet, here he is, completely head over heels. He gave Impey so much guff about being a fool for love - he owes the man an apology when he sees him next, because he's apparently the same way.
Then again, maybe it's been longer than he gives it credit for. Their relationship was one they started building the day he arrived, after all... and everything that happened before he fell in love was part of his feelings, too. This connection between them isn't so flimsy. That's why he could bare the most vulnerable part of his past to them like that and still hold them with confidence and laugh now, less than an hour later. ]
You're right about that, though. [ he smiles, very fondly, and presses a kiss against their hair, murmuring: ] I love you.
[ he said it already tonight, but he says it again, unable to resist falling for the bait they set out. The airship seems like it's floating high up into the clouds, and soon the lights of Paris are hardly visible at all, hazy blue light from the moon illuminating the cabin more than anything. ]
[ At least he admits that it'd be embarrassing - they have to agree. It used to make them nervous whenever he would even just pay close attention to them or speak to them too directly. They suppose the same holds true now, too, but in a different way; it makes them nervously excited, similar to the feeling that having a racing heart had felt. They don't get tired of the attention, even if it is embarrassing for him to talk about writing for them for pages. Some pink bleeds into their cheeks among the flecks of black, accented by the glinting from the low light.
They close their eyes momentarily as he murmurs against their hair, letting out a slow breath. It's not surprising that he would say that after that lead up, but they still feel the words run a pleasant shock through them, like they're slowly mending the hole in them left from years of going unseen. They pull back just enough to look at him seriously, eyelids seeming heavy.
It turns out that it isn't from the dark; after a pause, one of their hands leaves the window sill to hold the fabric just beneath his collar, giving it a gentle but firm tug. They don't think they can say it back out loud, not just yet. But they want him to know, and that's the important thing. Even with their heels on, they can't quite reach up to kiss him on their own unless he leans into it, so they pull him down gently, tilting their head up and fluttering their eyes closed as they press their lips against his. They're alone right now, so it's okay to let down their guard completely like this. Maybe it's the dim light from the moon washing over them, or maybe it's the surrealness of their surroundings, but it feels like they're far, far away from everything that defines them both, both nowhere and anywhere at all - it's an escape, albeit a fleeting one. They linger for as long as he'll allow it, wanting to prolong the sense of fulfillment and affection welling up in them for as long as they can. They love him too. ]
[ he always swoons just a little bit when they kiss him. Do they know that? He doesn't know if they notice the way he stills for a fraction of a second when they make the first move, even though he's a master thief who's supposed to be ready for anything. It's dark and their eyes are closed; maybe they don't see the way his cheeks turn unabashedly red, either. Lupin bends easily to their assertiveness - eagerly, even - leaning down with a smile he can only hide against their lips.
They don't have to say it to him for him to know.
His hands curl supportively against their uniform into the smooth curve of their back, and if it wasn't for their being so heavy, he'd lift them up, he thinks, and dip them, like they were dancing together again, for the drama of it all in this setting -- but he can't, even in his heart, it seems, so he just holds them and lets them kiss him for as long as his lungs will allow. Maybe even a little longer than that, if the slight dizziness he feels when he finally puts a bit of space between them. But how can he not push himself to his limit? He feels it, too - like this is a stolen moment. And considering that, when they open their eyes, they'll both find themselves standing in Lupin's living room in Chroma again and not in the cabin of an airship, maybe it really was. Lupin sighs, sounding disappointed, even if he hardly moves away from them to look. ]
[ They don't open their eyes until they hear his disappointed sigh, so they're already prepared for what they see when they do. Their shoulders slump a little unknowingly, breathing out a similarly disappointed and quiet sigh through their nose. ]
...We couldn't have stayed there forever.
[ That's the truth that they know they're both aware of, so there's no bite in their tone. Slowly, almost reluctantly, they relax from how they'd been leaning up towards him - but they don't pull out of his embrace entirely, letting their hand rest on his shoulder. ]
And you did get to show me what you wanted to.
[ Well, not everything he wanted to, but he'd wanted to take them flying, and he accomplished that much. That's more than they expected out of Chroma - what really would have been expected is if the airship had blown up or crashed or had some awful beast on it. They did get their little fairytale moment, no matter how fleeting, and Cairngorm is the type that isn't greedy. ]
[ he really can't be stopped, but the setup for that cheesy comment was too much for him to resist. Plus, it's true. It's his heart, isn't it? He wishes it would have listened to him and let him steal Cairngorm away for a few more hours. But that's not the case, and they're right, unfortunate as that may be, and in the end, getting lost in his dreams would only distract him from all the very real things he still needs to do. A few moments they should never have had will have to do.
For now.
He doesn't quite step back, either, only pulling away so that he can look around a little bit; when his gaze falls back on their face, he smiles a little, seeing the flecks of rain that have freckled their complexion with black. It's cute. ]
You're right, though. I did. A few things I didn't want to, as well, on top of that. [ a chagrined smile. ] Thanks for being a good sport about it. You know... I think you know more about me now than anyone else ever has.
[ he hasn't even told Impey about all that stuff with his guardian. ]
[ Their eyebrows raise in genuine surprise, their astonishment showing plain on their face. It's so unexpected that they don't think too hard about covering it up, just meeting his eyes with slightly widened ones of their own. ]
What about those people that live with you?
[ Surely they've known him for much longer than they have. It seems like they still don't care at all about whatever they saw, letting his mention of the event slide right off of then, even. ]
[ their not caring is all he could wish for, frankly. ]
Not even them. My past is something I try to keep to myself. If people learn I'm just an average man with average demons, it's harder for them to believe that the gentleman thief is real, in a manner of speaking.
[ it's a somewhat difficult concept to explain, this show he puts on - as much for himself as for others. He'd rather be the gentleman thief than himself; that is his real self, as far as he's concerned, but the rest of his life certainly happened, too. ]
It might be hard for you to believe, but I'm a fairly private person. When we talk, we always end up talking about you, never me, don't we?
[ It is a difficult thing to explain. They're not sure they even get it after he finishes trying to do it - they guess they understand having a certain image, but the way image and status works in the human world is just so different and reliant on abstract values, too. They shake their head. ]
I'm a private gem, too. [ They muse, brushing off his shoulder with their knuckles before finally letting go of him. ] You're just nosy.
[ And they're not, which is probably an equal part in why they never end up talking about him. ]
Besides, it's not that hard to believe. Because you don't want to talk about it, I figured you just don't want me to know... and that's fine.
[ He says it's not a secret, and that they're entitled to know whatever they want, but obviously, he doesn't like talking about this sort of stuff. Which they're fine with; it's not their place to go digging into other people's business if they're not wanted there. ]
[ that makes him laugh; he can't refute it, because he knows they're right. He is nosy. This relationship was motly built on Lupin's nosiness towards them, really. For that reason, he won't apologize, either.
Whether or not he wanted them to know or not is a little more complicated. ]
Hmmm... I didn't want to talk about it, but I don't mind if you know about it, I suppose? Funny thing, that.
[ a pause. ]
I'd tell you anything, you know. I just don't want you to worry for me - that's all it is. [ another pause - and then he cracks a little smile, as if he's just realizing something. ] That's a bit of an impossible wish, now that I think about it. You've not stopped worrying since the moment I met you.
That's because you do things that warrant worry...
[ They defend, with a hushed sigh. It's true that they probably over worried for him in the early days - but what were they supposed to do? He was unashamed of risking his life, and Cairngorm couldn't understand why a short-lived being would ever do something like that. Especially not for an immortal crystal he'd just met. ]
But I'm not going to worry over something that's already done with. [ In fact... they are less worried about it because he's clearly already gotten past it. ] You're the one who seems worried over it, not me.
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ouch is one of the most intimate, romantic ways to be close to someone else. The Town knows this very well -- the Town wants everyone to be as close as possible.
no subject
Their obligations feel more unfair as the days go by, even if they're convinced that those duties are unavoidable. Unconsciously, they lean a little more into his side, resting their hand on the sill of one of the windows. ]
...It resembles you. [ Both in name and in appearance. It's strange, but bright and colorful and happy, too. ] I thought you lived in "London," though...
no subject
Hahaha. That might be one of the best compliments I've ever received. [ he loves Paris, after all! He wants to know what parts of him are similar, but if he asks, they'll probably clam up... ]
You're right - I was living in London before I got here. But I'm only there temporarily on business. Once I've finished taking care of that terrorist cell and Cardia's poison, I'll be heading back here. London's nice, but there's no place like home.
no subject
...But you live with those other people. [ Saint-Germain, Impey, and all those folks. ] Will they move with you?
[ Other than Saint-Germain, they guess, who owns the place, if they remember correctly. Of course, to someone who's always lived with the same people, it seems a little odd to just move away from them entirely - that's one of just 3 million reasons why even the prospect of leaving Earth for the moon is so preposterous. It's especially strange considering he seems so close with those people, if that picture was anything to go by. ]
no subject
No. They've all got their own lives to live. Impey might come with me, but I can't imagine any of the others would. Most of them have their homes there.
[ the lights of Paris seem to be twinkling smaller and smaller, although he doesn't think the ship is moving up anymore. Maybe people are finally going to sleep for the night. ]
But it's all right. Even if we're not living together, we can still visit one another, or even just send mails. Impey's even been working on a device that lets you record audio messages.
no subject
I forgot you could write notes. Normal ones. [ And Not mysterious love notes. ] "Staying in touch" is easier out there, huh...
[ Easier than it is to stay in touch with people out of Chroma, that is. ]
no subject
[ speaking metaphorically, of course. He remembers what Cairngorm said, about their tiny little island and their tiny clan of gems that they've spent a thousand years with; the idea of there being so many people around that you need a way to keep track of each other is probably hard to grasp, too. Lupin's eyes flick down to them again, burnished bronze in the dim light.
They're thinking about separating again, aren't they? Quietly, he holds them a little closer, a roguish grin playing about his face. ]
Want me to send you a love letter?
no subject
You know that isn't possible, [ At least they're not getting in their feelings over saying that; they're just stating the truth to trump his teasing. ] And you already wrote one before...
[ Is... is that the kind of thing humans do on multiple occasions? They still have the letter since they thought that was a sort of one-time thing (and because it meant a lot too, but no one needs to know that.) They look up from where they're resting, knowing full well that they didn't outright say no, even if they said it wasn't possible. There was something sort of exciting about receiving something a letter like that, even if the circumstances had also given them a lot of dread and worry. It'd probably feel better to get one now... ]
Besides... you can just tell me whatever you need to in person.
no subject
Sure, but I could write a lot more of them. I could spend pages waxing poetic about my feelings for you. [ amused. ] It'd be really embarrassing.
[ ... maybe too much for even him. But maybe not. He feels quite confident he could really go on for quite a while about them. It's hardly been any time at all, really, and yet, here he is, completely head over heels. He gave Impey so much guff about being a fool for love - he owes the man an apology when he sees him next, because he's apparently the same way.
Then again, maybe it's been longer than he gives it credit for. Their relationship was one they started building the day he arrived, after all... and everything that happened before he fell in love was part of his feelings, too. This connection between them isn't so flimsy. That's why he could bare the most vulnerable part of his past to them like that and still hold them with confidence and laugh now, less than an hour later. ]
You're right about that, though. [ he smiles, very fondly, and presses a kiss against their hair, murmuring: ] I love you.
[ he said it already tonight, but he says it again, unable to resist falling for the bait they set out. The airship seems like it's floating high up into the clouds, and soon the lights of Paris are hardly visible at all, hazy blue light from the moon illuminating the cabin more than anything. ]
no subject
They close their eyes momentarily as he murmurs against their hair, letting out a slow breath. It's not surprising that he would say that after that lead up, but they still feel the words run a pleasant shock through them, like they're slowly mending the hole in them left from years of going unseen. They pull back just enough to look at him seriously, eyelids seeming heavy.
It turns out that it isn't from the dark; after a pause, one of their hands leaves the window sill to hold the fabric just beneath his collar, giving it a gentle but firm tug. They don't think they can say it back out loud, not just yet. But they want him to know, and that's the important thing. Even with their heels on, they can't quite reach up to kiss him on their own unless he leans into it, so they pull him down gently, tilting their head up and fluttering their eyes closed as they press their lips against his. They're alone right now, so it's okay to let down their guard completely like this. Maybe it's the dim light from the moon washing over them, or maybe it's the surrealness of their surroundings, but it feels like they're far, far away from everything that defines them both, both nowhere and anywhere at all - it's an escape, albeit a fleeting one. They linger for as long as he'll allow it, wanting to prolong the sense of fulfillment and affection welling up in them for as long as they can. They love him too. ]
no subject
They don't have to say it to him for him to know.
His hands curl supportively against their uniform into the smooth curve of their back, and if it wasn't for their being so heavy, he'd lift them up, he thinks, and dip them, like they were dancing together again, for the drama of it all in this setting -- but he can't, even in his heart, it seems, so he just holds them and lets them kiss him for as long as his lungs will allow. Maybe even a little longer than that, if the slight dizziness he feels when he finally puts a bit of space between them. But how can he not push himself to his limit? He feels it, too - like this is a stolen moment. And considering that, when they open their eyes, they'll both find themselves standing in Lupin's living room in Chroma again and not in the cabin of an airship, maybe it really was. Lupin sighs, sounding disappointed, even if he hardly moves away from them to look. ]
It's over already?
no subject
...We couldn't have stayed there forever.
[ That's the truth that they know they're both aware of, so there's no bite in their tone. Slowly, almost reluctantly, they relax from how they'd been leaning up towards him - but they don't pull out of his embrace entirely, letting their hand rest on his shoulder. ]
And you did get to show me what you wanted to.
[ Well, not everything he wanted to, but he'd wanted to take them flying, and he accomplished that much. That's more than they expected out of Chroma - what really would have been expected is if the airship had blown up or crashed or had some awful beast on it. They did get their little fairytale moment, no matter how fleeting, and Cairngorm is the type that isn't greedy. ]
no subject
[ he really can't be stopped, but the setup for that cheesy comment was too much for him to resist. Plus, it's true. It's his heart, isn't it? He wishes it would have listened to him and let him steal Cairngorm away for a few more hours. But that's not the case, and they're right, unfortunate as that may be, and in the end, getting lost in his dreams would only distract him from all the very real things he still needs to do. A few moments they should never have had will have to do.
For now.
He doesn't quite step back, either, only pulling away so that he can look around a little bit; when his gaze falls back on their face, he smiles a little, seeing the flecks of rain that have freckled their complexion with black. It's cute. ]
You're right, though. I did. A few things I didn't want to, as well, on top of that. [ a chagrined smile. ] Thanks for being a good sport about it. You know... I think you know more about me now than anyone else ever has.
[ he hasn't even told Impey about all that stuff with his guardian. ]
no subject
[ Their eyebrows raise in genuine surprise, their astonishment showing plain on their face. It's so unexpected that they don't think too hard about covering it up, just meeting his eyes with slightly widened ones of their own. ]
What about those people that live with you?
[ Surely they've known him for much longer than they have. It seems like they still don't care at all about whatever they saw, letting his mention of the event slide right off of then, even. ]
no subject
Not even them. My past is something I try to keep to myself. If people learn I'm just an average man with average demons, it's harder for them to believe that the gentleman thief is real, in a manner of speaking.
[ it's a somewhat difficult concept to explain, this show he puts on - as much for himself as for others. He'd rather be the gentleman thief than himself; that is his real self, as far as he's concerned, but the rest of his life certainly happened, too. ]
It might be hard for you to believe, but I'm a fairly private person. When we talk, we always end up talking about you, never me, don't we?
[ it's on purpose. ]
no subject
I'm a private gem, too. [ They muse, brushing off his shoulder with their knuckles before finally letting go of him. ] You're just nosy.
[ And they're not, which is probably an equal part in why they never end up talking about him. ]
Besides, it's not that hard to believe. Because you don't want to talk about it, I figured you just don't want me to know... and that's fine.
[ He says it's not a secret, and that they're entitled to know whatever they want, but obviously, he doesn't like talking about this sort of stuff. Which they're fine with; it's not their place to go digging into other people's business if they're not wanted there. ]
no subject
Whether or not he wanted them to know or not is a little more complicated. ]
Hmmm... I didn't want to talk about it, but I don't mind if you know about it, I suppose? Funny thing, that.
[ a pause. ]
I'd tell you anything, you know. I just don't want you to worry for me - that's all it is. [ another pause - and then he cracks a little smile, as if he's just realizing something. ] That's a bit of an impossible wish, now that I think about it. You've not stopped worrying since the moment I met you.
no subject
[ They defend, with a hushed sigh. It's true that they probably over worried for him in the early days - but what were they supposed to do? He was unashamed of risking his life, and Cairngorm couldn't understand why a short-lived being would ever do something like that. Especially not for an immortal crystal he'd just met. ]
But I'm not going to worry over something that's already done with. [ In fact... they are less worried about it because he's clearly already gotten past it. ] You're the one who seems worried over it, not me.