WHO: Cairngorm + various WHERE: Around! WHEN: Memory sharing event! WHAT: Closed prompts for characters to get a glimpse into ~the land of the lustrous~ WARNINGS: crystal body horror, dismemberment
[ Even if they're quick to chase it off their face, Lupin catches the look of hurt before it's gone. Were this someone else, he might not be bothered by it much; after all, he feels like he did just watch them murder someone. But this is Cairngorm. He doesn't want to hurt them. He feels guilty about it, almost instantly, in spite of what he just witnessed, and he wants to forgive them. It feels a little like a betrayal of his trust in them; he prays that there's a reasonable explanation for it so that he can heal that hurt and not have to stand by it. Lupin - does care about Cairngorm, more than he'd realized, but his devotion to his ideals and his justice can't be shaken.
His expression relaxes quickly into something more neutral, and he sighs, running a hand through his hair. ]
... Is that why Phos has someone else's head? Because you destroyed it?
[ what does that mean? did they kill them when that happened, and now they're "Lapis," at least partially? he has a hard time grasping it, and a hard time imagining them being able to put Phos's head back together after what happened.
Just because Phos did something wrong doesn't mean they deserved to die for it like that. ]
You think that I— what part of we can be rebuilt do you still not understand?
[ From their perspective, the head is just like any other part of the body— why would it being shattered prevent Phos from being revived? Lupin has only seen them lose whole limbs, clearly he isn’t aware that gems get broken like this constantly, even if not usually by other gems themselves.
What’s more important here is— is this what Lupin thinks of them? That they would permanently destroy other gems if angry enough, like some Lunarian...? They look away, not particularly interested in his feelings of guilt or staying here longer than they have to; they make motions to get up, visibly set on storming off after they say their piece. ]
I gave them that precious head on their shoulders, after Lunarians stole the one they had.
[ They don’t say it to enlighten him or to prove their innocence, its only to make him feel badly for thinking so lowly of them. They should be well accustomed to being written off as violent and cruel, given that their whole life people’s only impression of them was based off of when they could get mad enough to get control over Ghost, but somehow this still stings. ]
So that’s why they’re like that, not because “I destroyed them”. But go ahead, think whatever you want.
[ They're right - he isn't aware, and for a human, a head is an absolutely vital organ that can't be destroyed. He applies the same thinking to the gems. Incorrectly, it seems. When Cairngorm clarifies that they can rebuilt, and that Lunarians are the ones who stole Phos's head, he breathes out a sigh of relief.
(Does that change that Cairngorm broke their head? No - nor does it really ease the fresh memory of shattering it that Lupin now shares. But it means that it at least wasn't a fatal injury, and he can forgive lashing out in a moment of anger in a second.)
This is a lot to process in a few seconds, even for him, but he does his best to compartmentalize what he just saw for the moment, with his immediate fears of misjudging Cairngorm soothed, and focus on the new problem: he's hurt Cairngorm's feelings. It's obvious in every inch of their body language and in their poisonous tone of voice, and on one hand, he feels quite defensive - what was he supposed to think, seeing something like that? - but the much greater part of him is suddenly worried he's done something he can't take back. ]
Cairngorm -- You know I'm not going to think whatever I want. That's why I was asking you - I was confused.
[ He remembers now that he'd just been swinging by to check in on them; he hadn't made it further than their doorway before this all happened, and now, he stands his ground firmly there, hoping to block Cairngorm from running off. ]
[ This also isn't the sort of reaction they were expecting. Most people steer right out of Cairngorm's way when they are visibly pissed off, especially to this extent. For a moment, it seems like they are unsure of whether they should just steamroll past him or hear what he has to say, having not thought ahead this far. So they are left at a loss of what to do, other than to let out a short, curt exhale, and to stubbornly dig their heels in further.
From that memory alone it should've been clear that Phos deserved it, and they didn't get hurt from it. He felt it all the same. They'd never been so upset in their life than at that moment, so to be immediately blamed for how they were acting is invalidating, not to mention plain insulting. So, when they speak again, after a long pause, it's with carefully crafted aggravation, keeping any sign that they are anything other than irritated out of their voice and expression. ]
What? What else do you want. If you're only going to ask me more accusing questions, then get out of my way.
[ For all their bluster, it's obvious that they aren't bluffing this time; they fully intend to physically move him if he crosses the very thin line he's treading. ]
[ yeah, he doesn't think Cairngorm's ever been this mad at him before. Lupin still feels like he's missing something here (it's the fact that gems getting broken like that is apparently common), and he still feels like it's not fair that he's getting treated like the bad guy when he did just watch Cairngorm suddenly destroy someone's face... but, in the end, he cares more about not upsetting them than preserving his pride this time. Lupin sighs, rubbing his temples and looking awkward. ]
I didn't mean to yell at you like that. I just got... a little freaked out. I knew you could put limbs back, but the head's another matter entirely.
[ They were scared in that moment, though, weren't they? He can put the pieces together (no pun intended) from what he saw in the memory and what they said to him. They were suddenly in control of their own body, alone, for the first time; they were ragged from just being in a fight, he has to assume, and Phos was calling them by the name of their "sibling" who was presumably gone forever. And it was Phos's fault, too, somehow. Cairngorm is clumsy, Lupin thinks, and quick to anger. That kind of reaction isn't unbelievable. Even if it is a little alarming. ]
... I was scared you killed someone, is all. [ and that he was wrong about them - it wouldn't be the first time, he reflects sardonically, but he continues on, not budging from where he stands. ] I'm glad you didn't.
...How many times do I have to tell you this? We can't be killed.
[ At least, not in the way they've come to understand that humans can be. No injuries outside of the very extreme are really permanent with their kind, nor even take very long to recover from given someone skilled enough at repairing is around. They guess that he is probably just shocked to see a gem shattered like that for the first time. Sure, this event had been shocking to the other gems too, but even they hadn't looked at Cairngorm the way he had. ]
They just needed to feel sorry for what happened to Ghost. [ The end all be all is that Cairngorm didn't want revenge. They wanted remorse, and some way to let out all the grief they had been feeling at that time. ] Even if it were possible, how could they make things up to us if I tried to kill them? They'd be no good to me dead. I'm no fool.
[ They close their eyes so they won't be tempted to roll them, averting them when they open them again. It's annoying having to explain themself like this, but they also want to make it absolutely, crystal clear to him that it's not just their immortal nature that kept them from offing Phosphophyllite. They aren't like so many humans they've read and heard about who are quick to kill each other over disputes and differences.
Their arms cross loosely over their chest, too, their body language defiant in every sense of the word. They'd vastly prefer it if he would just get out of the way so they could blow off steam by leaving their house and returning to the comfort of being by themself, but somehow it seems awkward to just shove him if he won't show some sign of hesitation, some kind of give. Besides, they don't like that he said they were "running away", and to try and leave now would only let him think they're some sort of coward instead of just very frustrated. Which makes things...weird, considering they're both stuck here in Cairn's room now, both too stubborn to let up. ]
[ Maybe they don't die in the traditional sense - but what Cairngorm's described before actually sounds worse to him. There's no good term for him to use in place of "killed." Their insistence on clarifying that they didn't kill Phos convinces Lupin that they know exactly what he meant, anyway.
The shock is wearing off by this point; he overreacted, definitely. A rookie mistake to make for a master manipulator like himself. Being able to feel something so violent and alien shook him. Inwardly, he scolds himself for letting himself get that surprised by a memory when he knew they were being shared and knew that Cairngorm led a dangerous life back in their home... now being sloppy's landed him in this showdown against someone he'd much rather be laughing with. There are a few seconds of awkward silence; then Lupin's shoulders slump. ]
I know you're not. The only idiot in this room right now is me.
[ he's sitting here, worrying about morality - as if he doesn't know Cairngorm wouldn't hurt someone without a reason.
also, this is the only time he will actually say anything bad about himself, so don't get used to it!! ]
I'm sorry, Cairn. You didn't do anything wrong. This one's on me.
[ Now that - that is surprising. They know Lupin is full of pride, so to hear this from him is not something they will take lightly, irritated as they are. There's even more awkward silence after he finishes apologizing, as they watch him closely for any sign of insincerity...
But nothing comes. So they pinch the bridge of their nose, rubbing at the tension between their brows. What's worse, the way Lupin has pissed them off, or this strange tugging feeling they have after hearing his weirdly sincere, heartfelt apology? They shouldn't feel bad at all that he's apologizing to them, in fact, this is what they wanted, right? They're not even sure why they feel slightly more guilty than triumphant that they finally took him down a peg, but it's not something they plan on revealing to him, anyway, not wanting to secede their pride the way he has. ]
...Yeah, it is. [ They say, though with marginally less bite than the moments previous. There's still displeasure in their voice, no doubt, but he seems to have disarmed them, at least partially. ] But fine. I'll overlook it, just this once. Since you learned how to get over your enormous ego...
[ It's a more lighthearted quip than he likely expects. They won't spit in the face of his genuine apology, but it still doesn't feel great to have the worst assumed of you by someone you maybe care about more than you're letting on. ]
Just don't look at me like that again. [ They meet his eyes finally, their silver gaze sharp. ] I won't forgive you so easily next time.
[ Lupin had reckoned his apology had about a 50% chance of being effective, knowing how stubborn Cairngorm is. When they let him off the hook, he relaxes a little, offering them a crooked little apologetic smile - although the mention of "looking at them like that" makes him wince just a little bit. Despite his best efforts, he's not perfect. Looks like he's still got a ways to go when it comes to achieving that goal. ]
Right. I promise to only give you tender looks from now on. [ he's quick to cover it up with a quip of his own. Now that Cairngorm (probably) won't shove past him and flee out the door, he eases away from it, sticking his hands in his pockets. ] I was coming to check in on you, actually.
[ and instead he triggered a bad memory and stressed them out, but hey, he was expecting at least one of those things to happen when he showed up. ]
... Am I allowed to ask what Phos did? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to talk about it, but I'm curious.
[ There's a pause while they contemplate if it's even worth it to tell Lupin about this. Then, a sigh— it'll help him understand where they're coming from, and they won't have to explain it again later. Even if there's still a lingering annoyance about the topic in general. ]
They wanted to learn about how Lunarians communicate.
[ Through tone alone, it's clear that they think that idea is incredibly stupid. ]
This was right after Ghost insisted we partner with them. [ It's deliberate that they say it was Ghost's idea and not both of of theirs. ] A huge unit appeared, and instead of taking it out together like we're supposed to, Phosphophyllite wanted to jump on it and investigate, alone. All they ended up achieving was getting shot in half and forcing us to shield them.
[ It was a stupid, completely unnecessary loss, in their opinion. They've always had an aversion towards thoughtless behavior, but this event gave them a deeply rooted hatred for overconfidence and recklessness. ]
[ ... Do Lunarians even communicate? That thing that Cairngorm had taken down hadn't even seemed sentient, exactly - although he supposes they've mentioned how the Lunarians like to take pieces of them and make them into jewelry, so there must be some degree of thinking going on in there. Still, Lupin finds himself siding with Cairngorm here. That's a risky route to pursue; even if it's not a bad idea by itself, they should have waited until they could corner a small one they could subdue easily, at the very least. ]
... So that's what happened, huh.
[ he's kind of surprised that Phos claimed to be Cairngorm's best friend, now - this obviously earned Cairngorm's ire, and they're not the type to release a grudge so easily, as far as he can tell. ]
If a human's head gets destroyed like that, there's zero chance we're coming back. That's why I reacted the way I did. [ a beat; he glances away, a bit sheepish. ] But they were okay afterwards, and you two even became friends...?
[ Oh. Well, they didn't know that. Literally no one has keyed them in on the fact that humans have brains and other weird organ stuff going on in their head; for all they know, there's just the skull and a bunch of blood in there, and that's why it can't get hurt, because of blood loss reasons. But before they can make a comment about gem heads, he goes ahead and says that. ]
What? Did they tell you that? [ Catch this VERY UNIMPRESSED LOOK that they only save for Phos tomfoolery. ] We didn't just suddenly become friends after that. After I hit them again for good measure, I forced them to partner with me to make up for Ghost.
[ At least now they're more annoyed about Phos than the current situation. It's always easy to divert Cairngorm's irritation towards their partner if they're brought up. ]
Phos makes a habit of being deceitful. If you believe every little thing they say, their ego will be impossible to deflate, so be mindful about it....
[ Well, he knows it wasn't sudden... but he just keeps his mouth shut. If he complained every time Cairngorm said something that made him sound dumb, he'd never stop complaining. Besides, he's not going to nitpick when they seem like they're letting him off the hook for getting mad earlier.
Ironically, their commentary on Phos only makes Lupin think that they really are good friends. Ribbing them like that... Amused, Lupin raises an eyebrow. ]
Really? They were saying so many nice things about you, too.
[ and they were pretty nice to him, once they got past the whole Lapis thing... ]
If it's nice things about me, you can believe them. Everything else, you have to be careful about.
[ That is: a joke. Delivered with a dry lilt, but aside from that, no other obvious indications that they're joking. ]
They should be saying nice things about me anyway, all things considered.
[ They do all the work in this damn house!! But now they're a little curious about how his interactions with Phos went, since Phos is just so unpredictable. If they're being honest they think Lupin and Phos will get along a little too well given their personalities... ]
[ is that humor he's detecting? Lupin smiles his lopsided smile. Look at that - Cairngorm has a sense of humor outside of poking fun at him. ]
Duly noted.
[ so he says, but really, he's just taking everything both of them say about each other with a grain of salt... Both of them have an attitude, to put it lightly. ]
They were. They said you were their partner. [ a pause; Lupin actually seems to hesitate, for once in his life, before raising an eyebrow at Cairngorm. ] And more than just friends...?
[ granted, Phos had followed this up with "best friends," but he still has to ask! He's so curious about this. Probably more curious than he should be - but he's trapped in Chroma, for God's sake, so he may as well indulge himself a little bit where it doesn't hurt. ]
What, did they tell you we're besties or something like that...
[ That's what they're assuming the more than friends comment is about. There might as well be air quotes around "besties" with how unamused they seem. That's the term Phos always uses to describe Cairngorm, and they hate it, have always hated it, and will continue to hate it. ]
I'd hardly call us friends, and barely partners. [ Partners would be acceptable if Phos actually stuck around to work with them, but they DON'T!!! Phos has some nerve. ] For the overwhelming majority of the century we've been "partnered", that abomination has been asleep or gone.
[ Cairngorm is happy to set the record straight about their relationship with Phos, because from what they're hearing from Lupin, it seems that Phos (as usual) completely blew things out of proportion. Maybe that last sentence seems like they're the one blowing things out of proportion, but from their expression and tone, it's clear they are being literal with that statement. ]
"Abomination?" That's a little harsh, don't you think?
[ sure, they're being totally serious, but that seems like a cruel thing to call anybody, even if they do have someone else's head attached to their body... Then again, what does he know? He smiles a little, shaking his head. ]
Well, whatever. I figured you'd say something like that if I asked. [ if he's being honest... he can't imagine Cairngorm admitting someone to be their best friend. ] You're right - that's what they told me. The way they worded it just threw me a little bit. I thought you two might have been lovers, or some gem equivalent...
[ Abomination is not even harsh enough, in their opinion. Which is why they make a half confused, half...almost offended expression at that, tilting their head just out of how incredulous that notion is. ]
Me and Phos? [ There's a few beats. ] We're— no, we're not partners like that.
[ That response leaves the implication that there are gems that are "like that", though. ]
There are gems who have relationships with their partners that are... a lot closer than others. [ Is that the best way to put it... the gems whose partnerships are like this are decidedly not just co-workers and not just friends. But gem society labels all partnerships the same, so they fail to put a name on this type of close relationship for him. Instead, they just shake their head strongly. ] But not me and Phos. I don't think they could focus on someone else if they tried...
[ That is a half-truth, but they don't care, so long as it'll convince Lupin that them and Phos are not A THING. ]
[ Lupin chuckles, shaking his head. The spoiler is that he was already 99.9% sure that they weren't A THING - the question had other purposes. And one of them was definitely to get that huffy reaction out of them. But that's a secret!! ]
Ha ha ha! All right, I get it, no love lost between you and Phos. [ he feels a little bad for Phos, to be honest... on the other hand, it sounds like they might have earned some of it. ] I'm glad you--
[ whatever he was about to say is abruptly interrupted. Lupin had forgotten, with how heated this discussion had become, that he should still probably be avoiding too much eye contact, and a reminder appears without warning.
At once, they're transported to a moonlit night in the English countryside (information Lupin's thoughts provide, though the name probably means little to Cairngorm.) There's a gaggle of soldiers wearing yellow uniforms gathered in the road, along with their cars, several of which are flipped over onto their sides; all of them have the muzzles of their long rifles pointed upwards towards a single, familiar figure perched atop the ruins of some old building.
"Fire!!"
The night air flashes as the soldiers pull the trigger; Lupin's body jerks as it's riddled with bullets, his silhouette vanishing from its starry backdrop. The captain of the soldiers, an older man with a long, curly moustache, begins to berate them for killing him when they should have captured him, but he's cut short.
"You cads... You... You've gone and done it. You've ended my brilliant life... Cut short... Too soon..." Somehow, his voice sounds out; somehow, he can be seen sitting up, then getting to his feet. They can do little but gape as he apparently returns to life, his voice trailing off into peals of laughter. For a bizarre moment, his form seems to swell like a balloon; then, suddenly, he explodes with a burst of blinding white light.
They didn't seriously think I'd just stand there and get shot, did they? I guess they did. Even in England, the police are just so predictable. Hold on for just a few seconds longer, my dear - you'll be mine soon enough.
Another series of bangs sounds out from amongst the soldiers and carriages as several more explosions are triggered, flooding the road with a white smoke that only grows thicker rather than dispersing. The men are in confusion; Lupin is not, and he cuts into the cloud like a shadow, making a beeline for one of the cars. There's a woman sitting there - a girl with tumbling brown hair and a face like a doll's, and before she can cry out in surprise when Lupin alights on the trunk of the car, he brings a finger to his lips, shushing her.
"Did I startle you? My apologies. Fear not - I'm not a ghost. That was just a trick. Now... Take my hand, mademoiselle. Shall we make our great escape out into the night?" He holds out a hand to her; she cringes away from it, shaking her head.
"N-no... Don't touch me, please... You'll die from the poison..."
Ah. That. I wasn't expecting the Horologium to be worried about hurting me.
"I'm aware of it. But that only comes from skin contact, doesn't it? And your gloves block the poison, do they not?"
The girl starts to make an excuse. Her voice is soft, fearful, not of Lupin, but of the world, of herself. She's very beautiful, Lupin thinks. He wonders how they could call her a monster. Just because of some pesky poison -- he doesn't pay it another thought, pulling her by the hand and sweeping her up into his arms as if she's lighter than a feather.
"I'll be all right. Trust me. See? I'm unharmed."
She stares up at him, bewildered. He grins.
"Relax, my lady. A beautiful face like yours is wasted without a smile to go with it. Now, leave everything to me." ]
[ Suffice to say, there are a plethora of things in this memory that Cairn has no way of understanding. Why Lupin is being shot at for example, what the purpose of this kidnapping is supposed to be, those strange machines that are moving around... its all a lot to take in at once. That little trick does read like magic to them, or some other superhuman ability, though they know distantly that that can't be the case.
They're grateful at least that they aren't feeling anything this time, though the appearance of that girl is strange and puzzling nonetheless. She's beautiful, they think, too. She reminds them of the prettier gems, the ones that have big, bright eyes and kind expressions, though she, like Lupin, lacks any sort of luster or shine. It's all sort of goes by really fast, him hoisting her up and everything; they're left in a state of shock when they come back to reality, their shoulders having tensed up unwittingly.
What they probably should have taken from that memory is that Lupin is cool, and way more dependable than they tend to assume. But: ]
So— you have always been this dramatic...
[ Is what first comes to mind to say, as they shift awkwardly and throw their glance away from his and across the room. It's better if they just try to make the transition back to reality smooth— no, they won't have a repeat of what he did, where they try to make too many assumptions about what they just saw. ]
...I didn't know humans could be poisonous to the touch.
[ The way they say it makes it clear that they've already got a good understanding of poison, and it's not just from their studies in the library. ]
[ all things considered, that was a pretty all right memory to share. Lupin blinks his eyes a few times as he regains his bearings, rubbing his temples. It was an action-packed minute or two; even he needs a second to remember what he was actually doing. He's completely forgotten what he was going to say to them, but that's fine. It probably wasn't important, right?
Cairngorm's comment gets a rueful expression out of him, and he shakes his head gently. (He could defend himself on the dramatic bit, but, really, they're completely right, and he knows it. And is okay with it.) ]
... Well, they aren't usually. Do you remember the girl I mentioned to you before - the one with a jewel for a heart? That was her. Her name is Cardia.
[ once again, his tone softens a bit. He remembers that night clearly enough that revisiting the memory wasn't much of a shock, aside from the aforementioned action. It wasn't very long ago, of course - but, more importantly, it altered the course of his life. ]
That jewel keeps her alive, but it also makes her skin secrete a poison that destroys anything it touches, [ he explains, carefully. ] ... That was the night I first met her. That gem, the Horologium, could be used as a horrible weapon. I wanted to steal it before it fell into the wrong hands. I didn't know that "it" was actually a "she."
[ For once, it seems like they don't need a further explanation. They just nod. ]
So that's how it is.
[ It makes sense, his explanation. Of course they'd found the notion of stealing a person kind of odd, but with his clarification about her circumstance... it's easier for them to understand than they expect. Being made into a weapon, secreting a poison, these are both concepts that they're familiar with. It seems a bit sad, the very existence of this girl, but it seems like Lupin had intervened on whatever tragic fate she'd been set up for, presumably successfully. ]
...She must have lived in isolation, right. [ The way she recoiled from his touch, how she feared the poison killing him; it's too similar to someone else they know from home. They're not quite sure they understand the relationship between these two, but if Lupin is the one that brought her out of that sort of lonely life, there must be something of note. But that shouldn't be their focus, right now. ] Until you met her, and brought her to that mansion.
[ They don't feel like they have to ask if she ended up being okay (he doesn't seem particularly sad remembering her?), so they instead focus on the greater context. ]
Good guess. You're right. She'd barely interacted with people before then.
[ she had her own circumstances - she'd gotten out of her home once before then - but Cairngorm is basically right. He's a little surprised at how readily they accept this information, of all things, when they'd been tripped up by things as straightforward as "chandelier" and "small dog breed" in the past... Then again, perhaps Cardia's existence seems more familiar to them. ]
She's really afraid of hurting people, and it seems like the man who created her told her to never go into the outside world, too. He told her all sorts of nasty things, and she believed him, of course. [ Lupin sighs. When he thinks about it, some of her problems aren't too different from Cairngorm's. Maybe he has a weakness for people like this. ] But she doesn't deserve to stay locked up - she belongs out in the sun with you and I. I'm planning on finding a way to cure her poison when I get back.
It's not a guess. There's actually a gem like her. [ They correct him, but it's done without any condescending. ] They, too, live in isolation because of their poison... but they choose to live like that.
[ No, Cardia's circumstances are different than they'd imagined. They guess they kind of assumed she took it upon herself to isolate herself from others the same way Cinnabar had, out of a desire to not harm other living things. It's different here, where she isn't doing it of her own volition. The kind of isolation he describes is maybe closer to the one they're familiar with, not that they have any particular desire to see themself in this strange girl.
Things make a little more sense now. ]
...You really think it's possible? To cure it.
[ They're not deliberately intending to sound rude here, but they do seem a bit skeptical, if only because they're thinking of her condition in the way gems think of their respective poisonous member of society. An immortal, unchanging crystal person isn't inclined to think biology can change too much sans replacing entire parts of yourself, after all. ]
[ the more he learns about her, the less likely "curing" her seems. The Horologium doesn't just make poison - it produces energy that keeps Cardia alive, with that poison as a byproduct. Stopping the poison without also stopping her "heart" will be a delicate task, if not outright impossible, and at the moment, he has no idea how one would even go about doing that.
But he remains undeterred. ]
If there's a way, I'll find it. If there isn't, then I'll be the one to discover it. I promised her that I'd grant her wish, and I don't go back on promises.
[ despite everything, he sounds confident, if not resolute, as if he refuses to acknowledge even the possibility of defeat. He simply doesn't lose. He's not about to start now. ]
One of your people has the same problem, though... That's interesting. In my world, she's one of a kind.
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His expression relaxes quickly into something more neutral, and he sighs, running a hand through his hair. ]
... Is that why Phos has someone else's head? Because you destroyed it?
[ what does that mean? did they kill them when that happened, and now they're "Lapis," at least partially? he has a hard time grasping it, and a hard time imagining them being able to put Phos's head back together after what happened.
Just because Phos did something wrong doesn't mean they deserved to die for it like that. ]
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[ From their perspective, the head is just like any other part of the body— why would it being shattered prevent Phos from being revived? Lupin has only seen them lose whole limbs, clearly he isn’t aware that gems get broken like this constantly, even if not usually by other gems themselves.
What’s more important here is— is this what Lupin thinks of them? That they would permanently destroy other gems if angry enough, like some Lunarian...? They look away, not particularly interested in his feelings of guilt or staying here longer than they have to; they make motions to get up, visibly set on storming off after they say their piece. ]
I gave them that precious head on their shoulders, after Lunarians stole the one they had.
[ They don’t say it to enlighten him or to prove their innocence, its only to make him feel badly for thinking so lowly of them. They should be well accustomed to being written off as violent and cruel, given that their whole life people’s only impression of them was based off of when they could get mad enough to get control over Ghost, but somehow this still stings. ]
So that’s why they’re like that, not because “I destroyed them”. But go ahead, think whatever you want.
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(Does that change that Cairngorm broke their head? No - nor does it really ease the fresh memory of shattering it that Lupin now shares. But it means that it at least wasn't a fatal injury, and he can forgive lashing out in a moment of anger in a second.)
This is a lot to process in a few seconds, even for him, but he does his best to compartmentalize what he just saw for the moment, with his immediate fears of misjudging Cairngorm soothed, and focus on the new problem: he's hurt Cairngorm's feelings. It's obvious in every inch of their body language and in their poisonous tone of voice, and on one hand, he feels quite defensive - what was he supposed to think, seeing something like that? - but the much greater part of him is suddenly worried he's done something he can't take back. ]
Cairngorm -- You know I'm not going to think whatever I want. That's why I was asking you - I was confused.
[ He remembers now that he'd just been swinging by to check in on them; he hadn't made it further than their doorway before this all happened, and now, he stands his ground firmly there, hoping to block Cairngorm from running off. ]
Don't just run away. [ a beat. ] ... Please.
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From that memory alone it should've been clear that Phos deserved it, and they didn't get hurt from it. He felt it all the same. They'd never been so upset in their life than at that moment, so to be immediately blamed for how they were acting is invalidating, not to mention plain insulting. So, when they speak again, after a long pause, it's with carefully crafted aggravation, keeping any sign that they are anything other than irritated out of their voice and expression. ]
What? What else do you want. If you're only going to ask me more accusing questions, then get out of my way.
[ For all their bluster, it's obvious that they aren't bluffing this time; they fully intend to physically move him if he crosses the very thin line he's treading. ]
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I didn't mean to yell at you like that. I just got... a little freaked out. I knew you could put limbs back, but the head's another matter entirely.
[ They were scared in that moment, though, weren't they? He can put the pieces together (no pun intended) from what he saw in the memory and what they said to him. They were suddenly in control of their own body, alone, for the first time; they were ragged from just being in a fight, he has to assume, and Phos was calling them by the name of their "sibling" who was presumably gone forever. And it was Phos's fault, too, somehow. Cairngorm is clumsy, Lupin thinks, and quick to anger. That kind of reaction isn't unbelievable. Even if it is a little alarming. ]
... I was scared you killed someone, is all. [ and that he was wrong about them - it wouldn't be the first time, he reflects sardonically, but he continues on, not budging from where he stands. ] I'm glad you didn't.
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[ At least, not in the way they've come to understand that humans can be. No injuries outside of the very extreme are really permanent with their kind, nor even take very long to recover from given someone skilled enough at repairing is around. They guess that he is probably just shocked to see a gem shattered like that for the first time. Sure, this event had been shocking to the other gems too, but even they hadn't looked at Cairngorm the way he had. ]
They just needed to feel sorry for what happened to Ghost. [ The end all be all is that Cairngorm didn't want revenge. They wanted remorse, and some way to let out all the grief they had been feeling at that time. ] Even if it were possible, how could they make things up to us if I tried to kill them? They'd be no good to me dead. I'm no fool.
[ They close their eyes so they won't be tempted to roll them, averting them when they open them again. It's annoying having to explain themself like this, but they also want to make it absolutely, crystal clear to him that it's not just their immortal nature that kept them from offing Phosphophyllite. They aren't like so many humans they've read and heard about who are quick to kill each other over disputes and differences.
Their arms cross loosely over their chest, too, their body language defiant in every sense of the word. They'd vastly prefer it if he would just get out of the way so they could blow off steam by leaving their house and returning to the comfort of being by themself, but somehow it seems awkward to just shove him if he won't show some sign of hesitation, some kind of give. Besides, they don't like that he said they were "running away", and to try and leave now would only let him think they're some sort of coward instead of just very frustrated. Which makes things...weird, considering they're both stuck here in Cairn's room now, both too stubborn to let up. ]
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The shock is wearing off by this point; he overreacted, definitely. A rookie mistake to make for a master manipulator like himself. Being able to feel something so violent and alien shook him. Inwardly, he scolds himself for letting himself get that surprised by a memory when he knew they were being shared and knew that Cairngorm led a dangerous life back in their home... now being sloppy's landed him in this showdown against someone he'd much rather be laughing with. There are a few seconds of awkward silence; then Lupin's shoulders slump. ]
I know you're not. The only idiot in this room right now is me.
[ he's sitting here, worrying about morality - as if he doesn't know Cairngorm wouldn't hurt someone without a reason.
also, this is the only time he will actually say anything bad about himself, so don't get used to it!! ]
I'm sorry, Cairn. You didn't do anything wrong. This one's on me.
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But nothing comes. So they pinch the bridge of their nose, rubbing at the tension between their brows. What's worse, the way Lupin has pissed them off, or this strange tugging feeling they have after hearing his weirdly sincere, heartfelt apology? They shouldn't feel bad at all that he's apologizing to them, in fact, this is what they wanted, right? They're not even sure why they feel slightly more guilty than triumphant that they finally took him down a peg, but it's not something they plan on revealing to him, anyway, not wanting to secede their pride the way he has. ]
...Yeah, it is. [ They say, though with marginally less bite than the moments previous. There's still displeasure in their voice, no doubt, but he seems to have disarmed them, at least partially. ] But fine. I'll overlook it, just this once. Since you learned how to get over your enormous ego...
[ It's a more lighthearted quip than he likely expects. They won't spit in the face of his genuine apology, but it still doesn't feel great to have the worst assumed of you by someone you maybe care about more than you're letting on. ]
Just don't look at me like that again. [ They meet his eyes finally, their silver gaze sharp. ] I won't forgive you so easily next time.
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Right. I promise to only give you tender looks from now on. [ he's quick to cover it up with a quip of his own. Now that Cairngorm (probably) won't shove past him and flee out the door, he eases away from it, sticking his hands in his pockets. ] I was coming to check in on you, actually.
[ and instead he triggered a bad memory and stressed them out, but hey, he was expecting at least one of those things to happen when he showed up. ]
... Am I allowed to ask what Phos did? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to talk about it, but I'm curious.
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They wanted to learn about how Lunarians communicate.
[ Through tone alone, it's clear that they think that idea is incredibly stupid. ]
This was right after Ghost insisted we partner with them. [ It's deliberate that they say it was Ghost's idea and not both of of theirs. ] A huge unit appeared, and instead of taking it out together like we're supposed to, Phosphophyllite wanted to jump on it and investigate, alone. All they ended up achieving was getting shot in half and forcing us to shield them.
[ It was a stupid, completely unnecessary loss, in their opinion. They've always had an aversion towards thoughtless behavior, but this event gave them a deeply rooted hatred for overconfidence and recklessness. ]
Do you get it, now?
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... So that's what happened, huh.
[ he's kind of surprised that Phos claimed to be Cairngorm's best friend, now - this obviously earned Cairngorm's ire, and they're not the type to release a grudge so easily, as far as he can tell. ]
If a human's head gets destroyed like that, there's zero chance we're coming back. That's why I reacted the way I did. [ a beat; he glances away, a bit sheepish. ] But they were okay afterwards, and you two even became friends...?
[ or MORE THAN FRIENDS, according to phos?! ]
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What? Did they tell you that? [ Catch this VERY UNIMPRESSED LOOK that they only save for Phos tomfoolery. ] We didn't just suddenly become friends after that. After I hit them again for good measure, I forced them to partner with me to make up for Ghost.
[ At least now they're more annoyed about Phos than the current situation. It's always easy to divert Cairngorm's irritation towards their partner if they're brought up. ]
Phos makes a habit of being deceitful. If you believe every little thing they say, their ego will be impossible to deflate, so be mindful about it....
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Ironically, their commentary on Phos only makes Lupin think that they really are good friends. Ribbing them like that... Amused, Lupin raises an eyebrow. ]
Really? They were saying so many nice things about you, too.
[ and they were pretty nice to him, once they got past the whole Lapis thing... ]
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[ That is: a joke. Delivered with a dry lilt, but aside from that, no other obvious indications that they're joking. ]
They should be saying nice things about me anyway, all things considered.
[ They do all the work in this damn house!! But now they're a little curious about how his interactions with Phos went, since Phos is just so unpredictable. If they're being honest they think Lupin and Phos will get along a little too well given their personalities... ]
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Duly noted.
[ so he says, but really, he's just taking everything both of them say about each other with a grain of salt... Both of them have an attitude, to put it lightly. ]
They were. They said you were their partner. [ a pause; Lupin actually seems to hesitate, for once in his life, before raising an eyebrow at Cairngorm. ] And more than just friends...?
[ granted, Phos had followed this up with "best friends," but he still has to ask! He's so curious about this. Probably more curious than he should be - but he's trapped in Chroma, for God's sake, so he may as well indulge himself a little bit where it doesn't hurt. ]
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[ That's what they're assuming the more than friends comment is about. There might as well be air quotes around "besties" with how unamused they seem. That's the term Phos always uses to describe Cairngorm, and they hate it, have always hated it, and will continue to hate it. ]
I'd hardly call us friends, and barely partners. [ Partners would be acceptable if Phos actually stuck around to work with them, but they DON'T!!! Phos has some nerve. ] For the overwhelming majority of the century we've been "partnered", that abomination has been asleep or gone.
[ Cairngorm is happy to set the record straight about their relationship with Phos, because from what they're hearing from Lupin, it seems that Phos (as usual) completely blew things out of proportion. Maybe that last sentence seems like they're the one blowing things out of proportion, but from their expression and tone, it's clear they are being literal with that statement. ]
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[ sure, they're being totally serious, but that seems like a cruel thing to call anybody, even if they do have someone else's head attached to their body... Then again, what does he know? He smiles a little, shaking his head. ]
Well, whatever. I figured you'd say something like that if I asked. [ if he's being honest... he can't imagine Cairngorm admitting someone to be their best friend. ] You're right - that's what they told me. The way they worded it just threw me a little bit. I thought you two might have been lovers, or some gem equivalent...
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Me and Phos? [ There's a few beats. ] We're— no, we're not partners like that.
[ That response leaves the implication that there are gems that are "like that", though. ]
There are gems who have relationships with their partners that are... a lot closer than others. [ Is that the best way to put it... the gems whose partnerships are like this are decidedly not just co-workers and not just friends. But gem society labels all partnerships the same, so they fail to put a name on this type of close relationship for him. Instead, they just shake their head strongly. ] But not me and Phos. I don't think they could focus on someone else if they tried...
[ That is a half-truth, but they don't care, so long as it'll convince Lupin that them and Phos are not A THING. ]
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Ha ha ha! All right, I get it, no love lost between you and Phos. [ he feels a little bad for Phos, to be honest... on the other hand, it sounds like they might have earned some of it. ] I'm glad you--
[ whatever he was about to say is abruptly interrupted. Lupin had forgotten, with how heated this discussion had become, that he should still probably be avoiding too much eye contact, and a reminder appears without warning.
At once, they're transported to a moonlit night in the English countryside (information Lupin's thoughts provide, though the name probably means little to Cairngorm.) There's a gaggle of soldiers wearing yellow uniforms gathered in the road, along with their cars, several of which are flipped over onto their sides; all of them have the muzzles of their long rifles pointed upwards towards a single, familiar figure perched atop the ruins of some old building.
"Fire!!"
The night air flashes as the soldiers pull the trigger; Lupin's body jerks as it's riddled with bullets, his silhouette vanishing from its starry backdrop. The captain of the soldiers, an older man with a long, curly moustache, begins to berate them for killing him when they should have captured him, but he's cut short.
"You cads... You... You've gone and done it. You've ended my brilliant life... Cut short... Too soon..." Somehow, his voice sounds out; somehow, he can be seen sitting up, then getting to his feet. They can do little but gape as he apparently returns to life, his voice trailing off into peals of laughter. For a bizarre moment, his form seems to swell like a balloon; then, suddenly, he explodes with a burst of blinding white light.
They didn't seriously think I'd just stand there and get shot, did they?
I guess they did. Even in England, the police are just so predictable.
Hold on for just a few seconds longer, my dear - you'll be mine soon enough.
Another series of bangs sounds out from amongst the soldiers and carriages as several more explosions are triggered, flooding the road with a white smoke that only grows thicker rather than dispersing. The men are in confusion; Lupin is not, and he cuts into the cloud like a shadow, making a beeline for one of the cars. There's a woman sitting there - a girl with tumbling brown hair and a face like a doll's, and before she can cry out in surprise when Lupin alights on the trunk of the car, he brings a finger to his lips, shushing her.
"Did I startle you? My apologies. Fear not - I'm not a ghost. That was just a trick. Now... Take my hand, mademoiselle. Shall we make our great escape out into the night?" He holds out a hand to her; she cringes away from it, shaking her head.
"N-no... Don't touch me, please... You'll die from the poison..."
Ah. That. I wasn't expecting the Horologium to be worried about hurting me.
"I'm aware of it. But that only comes from skin contact, doesn't it? And your gloves block the poison, do they not?"
The girl starts to make an excuse. Her voice is soft, fearful, not of Lupin, but of the world, of herself. She's very beautiful, Lupin thinks. He wonders how they could call her a monster. Just because of some pesky poison -- he doesn't pay it another thought, pulling her by the hand and sweeping her up into his arms as if she's lighter than a feather.
"I'll be all right. Trust me. See? I'm unharmed."
She stares up at him, bewildered. He grins.
"Relax, my lady. A beautiful face like yours is wasted without a smile to go with it. Now, leave everything to me." ]
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They're grateful at least that they aren't feeling anything this time, though the appearance of that girl is strange and puzzling nonetheless. She's beautiful, they think, too. She reminds them of the prettier gems, the ones that have big, bright eyes and kind expressions, though she, like Lupin, lacks any sort of luster or shine. It's all sort of goes by really fast, him hoisting her up and everything; they're left in a state of shock when they come back to reality, their shoulders having tensed up unwittingly.
What they probably should have taken from that memory is that Lupin is cool, and way more dependable than they tend to assume. But: ]
So— you have always been this dramatic...
[ Is what first comes to mind to say, as they shift awkwardly and throw their glance away from his and across the room. It's better if they just try to make the transition back to reality smooth— no, they won't have a repeat of what he did, where they try to make too many assumptions about what they just saw. ]
...I didn't know humans could be poisonous to the touch.
[ The way they say it makes it clear that they've already got a good understanding of poison, and it's not just from their studies in the library. ]
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Cairngorm's comment gets a rueful expression out of him, and he shakes his head gently. (He could defend himself on the dramatic bit, but, really, they're completely right, and he knows it. And is okay with it.) ]
... Well, they aren't usually. Do you remember the girl I mentioned to you before - the one with a jewel for a heart? That was her. Her name is Cardia.
[ once again, his tone softens a bit. He remembers that night clearly enough that revisiting the memory wasn't much of a shock, aside from the aforementioned action. It wasn't very long ago, of course - but, more importantly, it altered the course of his life. ]
That jewel keeps her alive, but it also makes her skin secrete a poison that destroys anything it touches, [ he explains, carefully. ] ... That was the night I first met her. That gem, the Horologium, could be used as a horrible weapon. I wanted to steal it before it fell into the wrong hands. I didn't know that "it" was actually a "she."
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So that's how it is.
[ It makes sense, his explanation. Of course they'd found the notion of stealing a person kind of odd, but with his clarification about her circumstance... it's easier for them to understand than they expect. Being made into a weapon, secreting a poison, these are both concepts that they're familiar with. It seems a bit sad, the very existence of this girl, but it seems like Lupin had intervened on whatever tragic fate she'd been set up for, presumably successfully. ]
...She must have lived in isolation, right. [ The way she recoiled from his touch, how she feared the poison killing him; it's too similar to someone else they know from home. They're not quite sure they understand the relationship between these two, but if Lupin is the one that brought her out of that sort of lonely life, there must be something of note. But that shouldn't be their focus, right now. ] Until you met her, and brought her to that mansion.
[ They don't feel like they have to ask if she ended up being okay (he doesn't seem particularly sad remembering her?), so they instead focus on the greater context. ]
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[ she had her own circumstances - she'd gotten out of her home once before then - but Cairngorm is basically right. He's a little surprised at how readily they accept this information, of all things, when they'd been tripped up by things as straightforward as "chandelier" and "small dog breed" in the past... Then again, perhaps Cardia's existence seems more familiar to them. ]
She's really afraid of hurting people, and it seems like the man who created her told her to never go into the outside world, too. He told her all sorts of nasty things, and she believed him, of course. [ Lupin sighs. When he thinks about it, some of her problems aren't too different from Cairngorm's. Maybe he has a weakness for people like this. ] But she doesn't deserve to stay locked up - she belongs out in the sun with you and I. I'm planning on finding a way to cure her poison when I get back.
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[ No, Cardia's circumstances are different than they'd imagined. They guess they kind of assumed she took it upon herself to isolate herself from others the same way Cinnabar had, out of a desire to not harm other living things. It's different here, where she isn't doing it of her own volition. The kind of isolation he describes is maybe closer to the one they're familiar with, not that they have any particular desire to see themself in this strange girl.
Things make a little more sense now. ]
...You really think it's possible? To cure it.
[ They're not deliberately intending to sound rude here, but they do seem a bit skeptical, if only because they're thinking of her condition in the way gems think of their respective poisonous member of society. An immortal, unchanging crystal person isn't inclined to think biology can change too much sans replacing entire parts of yourself, after all. ]
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But he remains undeterred. ]
If there's a way, I'll find it. If there isn't, then I'll be the one to discover it. I promised her that I'd grant her wish, and I don't go back on promises.
[ despite everything, he sounds confident, if not resolute, as if he refuses to acknowledge even the possibility of defeat. He simply doesn't lose. He's not about to start now. ]
One of your people has the same problem, though... That's interesting. In my world, she's one of a kind.
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