WHO: Cairngorm + various WHERE: Around! WHEN: Memory sharing event! WHAT: Closed prompts for characters to get a glimpse into ~the land of the lustrous~ WARNINGS: crystal body horror, dismemberment
[ Immediately, the most noticeable thing about this memory? An abrupt absence of autonomy.
There's a gem visible, but it is visually not recognizeable as Cairngorm themself. The pale glinting of their hair and their one visible eye is similar, but their face is too serene looking to be distinctly them— and yet, when this gem's hand comes to hold their face, the feeling of that contact presents itself all the same. It's strange; it doesn't feel quite like your own face is being touched, though you undoubtedly know it's your arm being forcibly moved. And a voice, eerily similar to Cairngorm's, though not nearly as assertive hums out with an exasperated, almost embarrassed sigh:
When the other party gains more control than me, they often surprise everyone... like what happened yesterday. Apparently they wanted to save Lapis.
What's strangest of all is the sensation of speaking; it's like your lips are moving but you aren't saying anything, like your mouth is being used to talk for someone else. From sight alone, it'd be impossible to confirm that these physical feelings are truly coming from Cairngorm, and not this curiously similar looking gem, but even if all the stimuli align with the motions the crystal goes through, layered over those feelings is a thick physical sense of being restrained, of having no control over the sensations that movement and talking are bringing them. It is almost as if they are an extremely aware doll, with the capability to feel everytime they are moved or made to say something.
As soon as the memory fades, that looming feeling of limitation fades with it, and Cairngorm only waits a beat to snap out of what they've just relived, shaking their head briefly before taking in a breath. ]
Ah. Where was I? I was asking you about returning a book you'd borrowed...
[ They don't seem to think this is something worthy of being discussed, nor is it worrying in the least sense. ]
[ All he wanted to do was make sure his friends were all doing okay and now he gets to feel what Extreme Dissociation feels like instead and that, my friends, is Not Great. It's enough to chill his spine, but furthermore, is enough to cause quite a bit of concern.
There's a lot to process here, aside from the strange sensations that made Caramia feel like maybe he needed to lie down and take a few deep breaths to remind himself he's alive and actually here. Hoo boy, that certainly was a Trip. However, his worry over the gem was a little more pressing at the moment, and... they were just going to ignore that happened entirely? He... understood that much, he guessed. He's done the same with some of his own run-ins with memory stuff, but... ]
...Cairngorm. [ He didn't want to ask questions, but also he wasn't going to let them just... gloss over that!! ] What... was that?
[ Well. They were kind of hoping he wouldn't ask since it's so tricky to even start explaining it. So they sigh. ]
...That was my former state. I was born with a double-structure.
[ Unfortunately, they don't really have a way of knowing just how unnatural living how they lived with Ghost would feel to someone who had never known it, so they have to assume that the reason he looks like that is because its a Very Bad Feeling. To them, it's living like this that feels unnatural. They sincerely doubt that look of concern is just because of how different they looked in that memory. ]
Meaning, there used to be another gem formed over this body.... we've since then been separated.
[ Never "my body", just "this one". That alone should explain why they looked so different, though they're not sure how good of a job that will do of explaining the sensations he must have felt. ]
Hey remember when I tagged at a Normal Speed because I don't
[ You know, he was totally expecting an explanation he didn't understand, because that's just how Cairngorm was, but he couldn't even Frankenstein a vaguely coherent answer out of all that? Double-structured? Another gem over them? Come on, Gorm, he's an idiot. ]
Er- [ He contemplated how the best way to say "What the fuck?" was at that moment. But he was feeling very much "what the fuck" himself, so trying to piece together coherent words on top of his scattered thoughts wasn't going to happen. Not immediately, anyway. ]
Who... are they? [ That might be a good place to start...? Maybe? ]
[ Their response is quick, and simple. They're not exactly sure what else he'd like to know about them, but they're trying to recall what has been the best way to explain this to others in the past. ]
You can think of myself and Ghost as being two personalities that shared one body. You felt that much, didn't you...?
[ How Cairn's will and the motions of that body he'd felt hadn't exactly lined up? Yeah. They don't look terribly concerned questioning him about it, since that was the norm for the last eight or nine centuries, after all. ]
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CARAMIA
There's a gem visible, but it is visually not recognizeable as Cairngorm themself. The pale glinting of their hair and their one visible eye is similar, but their face is too serene looking to be distinctly them— and yet, when this gem's hand comes to hold their face, the feeling of that contact presents itself all the same. It's strange; it doesn't feel quite like your own face is being touched, though you undoubtedly know it's your arm being forcibly moved. And a voice, eerily similar to Cairngorm's, though not nearly as assertive hums out with an exasperated, almost embarrassed sigh:
When the other party gains more control than me, they often surprise everyone... like what happened yesterday. Apparently they wanted to save Lapis.
What's strangest of all is the sensation of speaking; it's like your lips are moving but you aren't saying anything, like your mouth is being used to talk for someone else. From sight alone, it'd be impossible to confirm that these physical feelings are truly coming from Cairngorm, and not this curiously similar looking gem, but even if all the stimuli align with the motions the crystal goes through, layered over those feelings is a thick physical sense of being restrained, of having no control over the sensations that movement and talking are bringing them. It is almost as if they are an extremely aware doll, with the capability to feel everytime they are moved or made to say something.
As soon as the memory fades, that looming feeling of limitation fades with it, and Cairngorm only waits a beat to snap out of what they've just relived, shaking their head briefly before taking in a breath. ]
Ah. Where was I? I was asking you about returning a book you'd borrowed...
[ They don't seem to think this is something worthy of being discussed, nor is it worrying in the least sense. ]
no subject
There's a lot to process here, aside from the strange sensations that made Caramia feel like maybe he needed to lie down and take a few deep breaths to remind himself he's alive and actually here. Hoo boy, that certainly was a Trip. However, his worry over the gem was a little more pressing at the moment, and... they were just going to ignore that happened entirely? He... understood that much, he guessed. He's done the same with some of his own run-ins with memory stuff, but... ]
...Cairngorm. [ He didn't want to ask questions, but also he wasn't going to let them just... gloss over that!! ] What... was that?
no subject
...That was my former state. I was born with a double-structure.
[ Unfortunately, they don't really have a way of knowing just how unnatural living how they lived with Ghost would feel to someone who had never known it, so they have to assume that the reason he looks like that is because its a Very Bad Feeling. To them, it's living like this that feels unnatural. They sincerely doubt that look of concern is just because of how different they looked in that memory. ]
Meaning, there used to be another gem formed over this body.... we've since then been separated.
[ Never "my body", just "this one". That alone should explain why they looked so different, though they're not sure how good of a job that will do of explaining the sensations he must have felt. ]
Hey remember when I tagged at a Normal Speed because I don't
Er- [ He contemplated how the best way to say "What the fuck?" was at that moment. But he was feeling very much "what the fuck" himself, so trying to piece together coherent words on top of his scattered thoughts wasn't going to happen. Not immediately, anyway. ]
Who... are they? [ That might be a good place to start...? Maybe? ]
no subject
[ Their response is quick, and simple. They're not exactly sure what else he'd like to know about them, but they're trying to recall what has been the best way to explain this to others in the past. ]
You can think of myself and Ghost as being two personalities that shared one body. You felt that much, didn't you...?
[ How Cairn's will and the motions of that body he'd felt hadn't exactly lined up? Yeah. They don't look terribly concerned questioning him about it, since that was the norm for the last eight or nine centuries, after all. ]