awashlogs | Event Nine.

[ he doesn't let up, but he does notice their change in expression, and a wrinkle forms in his brow - concerned, again. For all their talk of not feeling pain, they certainly looked pained for a second there. Even once they start moving the fingers, he doesn't quite let go until Cairngorm does, and not until he's sure it won't fall off without his support. (His own arm feels sort of like it might fall off after this heavy lifting, but he'll worry about that tomorrow morning when he's good and sore.) ]

... Guh. That looked less than comfortable. [ a pause. ] I didn't hurt you somehow, did I?

[ he's pretty sure he didn't, because he's Lupin, but even Lupin knows this isn't his area of expertise. Their embarrassment doesn't go unnoticed; for the moment, he's simply more worried about their wellbeing than whatever self-consciousness they might be feeling over this, and he stays put where he is. ]

Huh? No, it's not that.

[ They shake their head— explaining will take their mind off of their momentary vulnerability, at least. ]

I told you before that when we break, we can feel it, but nothing lingers, right? [ Bit by bit, their memory is becoming a little bit clearer. While they pause to make sure they're recalling correctly, they swap the pieces on the table such that the two left pieces are lined up and likewise for the right. ] It's like that for reattachment too. Getting a big piece back on is always uncomfortable, but it goes away.

[ They let out a little sigh, stealing a glance at his concerned expression before darting away. ]

It really isn't something to look so worried over. You're supposed to be proving to me you can handle this, anyway...

Handling it and worrying about it aren't mutually exclusive. I'm multitasking.

[ even the great Lupin worries about things sometimes...! He's glad he didn't screw anything up, though. While they rearrange the broken parts, he looks on, seeming to contemplate what to do next. (In reality, he's thinking about the propriety of helping reattach the next pieces... Sure, they're disembodied, but manhandling their thighs still feels a little... invasive. Then again, gems probably don't care about things like that. Do they?! Maybe he's overthinking this.) ]

But in that case, we should try and get this over with quickly.

Edited 2018-09-06 01:22 (UTC)

[ Actually, gems do kinda care about things like that. Which is why they make the motions to glue the upper half of their left leg to the lower half, taking a brush for themself and moving the jar of resin closer to their side. Not only do they vastly prefer it if it doesn't get pieced together backwards, but they'd also find it weirdly embarrassing for him to be handling their leg all over the place, so— it's back to the if you want a job done, do it yourself mindset. ]

That guy cut these pieces cleanly, so this won't take long. [ Yeah, "that guy", who's name is escaping them for the moment. ] It's still something I can fix myself. If a time comes in this place where I'm shattered into lots of pieces or to the point of unconsciousness, that would be the time to worry about it.

[ They trail off, sitting the chunk of crystal on what's left of their lap while they apply the resin to the cut side, focusing on their work instead of looking at him. ]

[ it's okay, this time they're saving the both of them from getting embarrassed. Lupin leans back a bit when Cairngorm moves to do it themself, although he remains sitting next to them. The arm seems like it's working just fine - that's a relief. ]

You take your health pretty lightly. [ and memories, but. ] What was going on on that island, anyway? You remember any of it yet?

[ They don't answer for a moment, reaching over to the table to pick up their left leg by the calf, moving it so that it's almost like a bridge between the space between them— not without giving an expectant glance to him, and then the ankle. ]

Here, hold onto that end. [ It's just their shoe and their ankle, so that's not as bad as letting him do any of the hard work. And doing this first gives them time to try and recall any information they remember... ] It was weird. Most of the people there were starving and worrying about getting eaten.

[ Neither of which were their concerns, at least not personally. ]

So most of what was "going on" was fighting those things, or catching fish.

[ he wordlessly accepts the leg (this, he can deal with), feeling a scant bit of triumph in Cairngorm actually inviting him to keep helping after telling him they'd be fine on their own a few moments ago. ]

Most of the monsters around here are biting off more than they can chew when they come after you, aren't they? Lucky you.

[ on the downside, they can only get back home if someone chops them up into 6 pieces, so Lupin thinks he's okay with being a tasty human. ]

I can't imagine you were out there catching fish. Were you fighting, then?

[ They make a face at that comment, carefully connecting the two pieces of their leg, before painting on the resin on the remaining cut side. ]

I was doing both. [ Huff!! ] It's not like standing in the water to fish was dangerous for me or anything.

[ Not like it was for all their human companions... so they'd lent a hand out of practicality. When they're done applying more resin, they gingerly take the leg from him and fit it against their wound, flinching as they do so— but any discomfort they show only lasts for a fleeting moment. ]

Makes me wonder why they even bothered dragging me there in the first place.

[ They mumble. As far as they're concerned, they were a complete waste of a capture. Ever so carefully, they bend their leg so it's not stiffly straight anymore, setting the heel gently down on the wooded floor with a soft clink. ]

Were you, now?

[ hmmmm. he smiles a little bit. It makes him happy that they're helping take care of the others, too; he can't pinpoint why, exactly, but it does. Maybe it's just nice to hear about them branching out rather than withdrawing further into themselves, despite the vast differences between them and the rest of the people living here. He wants Cairngorm to have friends. ]

They probably just took you with the rest without thinking. Or maybe they liked how shiny you were. [ Lupin retracts his hands once they've reattached the entire leg, leaning over to pick up the bottom portion of the remaining one, albeit rather tiredly. ] Almost done.

It wouldn't be the first time I've been sought after because of that.

[ They're of course talking about Lunarians being drawn to them and all their sparkly friends!!

After saying that though, they seem to want to work in silence, going about the routine of repairing themself with deft hands. It only takes a little over a minute to get to the task of setting their second leg on, which they do quickly and without hesitation around the discomfort.

There's a beat, and then, they lean back all the way on the couch, letting their head hang over the backside with their eyes closed shut, their right hand going to cradle where they'd been mended on their left arm. There's a long, almost dramatic, drawn out sigh, while they try to sort through their thoughts properly. ]

There. Good as new... [ Everything is totally fine now, of course. ] I can't believe this place forced me to resort to something like that.

[ It's over, so now they shouldn't be stressed anymore, but they're practically allergic to taking risks of the scale this plan required. So there is residual stress. What's worse is that the issue of thanking him or acknowledging that he went to quite a great length to help them is much more burdensome now that they can remember every interaction they've had, how worried he had seemed for their well-being... maybe, if they just sit here calmly (avoidably), he'll agree that everything is fine now and they can both move on from this. ]

[ He can't tell if that was a snap at him for trying to make light of the issue, or if they were joining in with him, and as they sink into silence afterwards, he's left with nothing to do but contemplate whether or not he just accidentally said something tasteless. (Probably not, he decides, because Cairngorm has no probably tearing him a new one when he does or says something they don't like.)

When that last piece finally clicks together and they lean back, Lupin does, too, sinking back into the sofa a little bit with a sigh of his own that quickly turns into a cough. With their memories back, they can probably see that he's looking a little paler than usual, too. All week, he's felt awful - but not awful enough to keep him from doing these things. Lupin isn't a fan of staying in. ]

I can't believe it, either... What a mess.

[ he lifts his head up a bit, looking at them again. Back to normal, save for the unpowdered skin. Normal on the outside, at least. He meets their eyes, rather searchingly. ]

You remember me now, right? [ a beat; he sighs another, smaller sigh. ] I was worried sick when you disappeared, Cairn. Literally.

[ They peek open an eye and turn towards him when he asks, not particularly expecting him to be looking at them so intently. That, in combination with his following words, catch them off guard. For a second, they're frozen, as though he spoke to them in another language, before they move their head back to it's original position, staring up at the ceiling instead of at him. ]

You got sick from it? [ They say, almost disbelieving. They're not yet aware of the health complications that the people staying in Chroma had fallen victim to, so they're taking what he says at face value. And as far as they're concerned, they're not someone worth worrying over to that extent, both in the logical sense (immortal crystal person), and in the metaphorical sense (they're just "Cairngorm" to him, not even a convenient substitute for someone he considers meaningful— at least not to their knowledge). It makes it hard for them to understand why he would care so much about their disappearance. ]

Even without fighting anything, you get hurt somehow. [ They sigh, though their tone completely lacks it's usual bite. ] Nothing happened other than my powder getting washed off, so...

[ There was no reason for you to worry, goes left unsaid. They seem almost a bit shy, by the way they try to casually brush off his care; its a behavior deeply ingrained in them for centuries— that is, to shirk away from care and to assume that anything meaningful said to them... isn't exactly meant for them. ]

I did. [ a beat; he adds, for the sake of explaining: ] All of us got sick. Some worse than others.

[ And he was one of those worse off. He doesn't include the information to downplay it - just to keep Cairngorm off his back for being "weak" again, since they're already heading down that road. Judging by the way they won't keep eye contact with him, he knows they'd use it as an easy way out of expressing any kind of positive feelings. Or embarrassment over said feelings.

They're cute, as usual. ]

And I'm glad that nothing happened to you, but it's not like I knew that until I saw you again. For all I knew, you could have vanished from the town like some of the others. [ ryoji, yusuke... he leans his head back, too, closing his eyes tiredly. ] I even went in the woods to look for you. You really gave me the runaround.

[ he'd been looking for the others, too, but they'd definitely been one of the friends at the forefront of his mind. ]

... It wasn't your fault, of course. Still... All that, and then having to break you into pieces afterwards...? For a gem, you're a real handful.

Edited 2018-09-16 19:23 (UTC)

[ It's only when he's closed his eyes that they feel secure enough to look at him, conflicted and puzzled all the same. He's weird, like usual. They get this weird feeling when they're around him, like they are more important than they are, and they don't know if that's supposed be a good thing. ]

Why would you—

[ They don't know how to finish that question, though the sentiment is obvious, based on their confused tone alone. It takes restraint to cut themself off, but they do, letting out a sigh and continuing in a voice softer and more hushed than their typical assertive ways. ]

...You know you didn't have to do all that. I don't want to be responsible for bad things happening to you. [ It's different from the other times they've said that, more honest. ] This was my fault in the end.

[ They hug their mended arm closer to themself, sitting up more to start cleaning up the tools he'd brought, mostly to hide their guilty expression. Now that they think about it, yes, Ghost would certainly agree that this is all Cairngorm's fault, both the getting kidnapped + needing to get broken up into 6 pieces and the causing Lupin to run around everywhere + him getting sick. Product of living with someone who blamed them for everything or not, the end result is that they do feel liable the more that he goes on. ]

[ he could probably fall asleep like this, he's so tired. The killer headache's mostly gone since they started bringing people back - now all that's left are sore muscles and exhaustion. But Lupin started this conversation, and he's not very well going to pass out in the middle of it. ]

How? Because you were tricked? [ his eyes open halfway to peer at Cairngorm briefly. ] That doesn't count.

[ hell, he's gotten tricked here, before, too. That's just how the town works. This burden of responsibility seems to weigh on them constantly - for him, for the other gems, for themself - and he wonders how someone who wasn't even responsible for their own body most of their life can feel so blameworthy. Then again, maybe that's just it. He already knows they don't think much of themself. After a few seconds, he appears resolved, and sits up again, looking Cairngorm square in the face. ]

Listen, Cairngorm. You're not responsible for me or whatever happens to me. A gentleman thief values his freedom above most everything else - everything I do, I do because I want to, no more, no less. That's the way I've always been. [ a pause. His tone softens, then, and he offers a rueful smile. ] I did "all that" because I care about you. You're my friend. Is it that hard to believe?

Edited 2018-09-17 07:24 (UTC)

[ They actually can muster the courage to make eye contact with him while he goes on, the rest of their body eerily still. Their gaze shows that they are hesitant to take his words for what they are, at least at first, until the initial skepticism gives way to quiet contemplation. As much as they'd like to remain aloof, they're still getting used to receiving outright admissions like this, and it shows in how they have to scramble for a response— just like they have every other time he's done something along these lines. ]

"Everything you do" is because you want to, huh... and because you care.

[ They repeat back what he says just to say something, darting their eyes away. Lupin is a free spirit, someone who does whatever he wants, whenever he wants, isn't tied down by the desires of others or obligations given to him. That's a freedom they have never been afforded, nor do they see themself being afforded in the distant future, so it makes it all the harder for them to understand his actions, when they're not framed as obligations or duties. ]

All this time, I thought you almost hurt yourself carrying me here because I asked you for help. But you did it because you care?

[ Maybe if they make light of the fact that Lupin was one of the only people they trusted to deal with this, at least before he stumbles upon that fact on his own, it'll be less embarrassing. And he won't get smug or anything... it'll help lighten the tone, not let him think they're pitiful, and it'll also communicate to him that they accepted his care, in their own joking roundabout way. ]

If I'd known you'd do that beforehand, I wouldn't have embarrassed myself asking that Guren guy to let you know about my plan in the first place...

That's right. I would have done it even if you told me not to, actually.

[ a cheeky response, delivered with a tired but honest grin. He's also not good at doing what he's told, provided he disagrees...

"Pitiful" is hardly the word he'd use to describe them. Sure, he thinks it's sad (and occasionally frustrating) that they don't seem to believe or even understand that someone would voluntarily take a risk for them - but that's very much a product of the life they've had to lead, and, more importantly, he thinks they're starting to learn otherwise. Like right now, for instance. Lupin is hesitant to read too much into that statement (maybe they gave Guren his name because he'd already helped them glue some fragments back on, for example), but at the very least, it's an indication that Cairngorm must think he's a little trustworthy. ]

Heh... Embarrassed yourself? Don't be like that. There's nothing embarrassing about liking me.

[ he jokes right back, leaning against the couch tiredly once more. ]

Shut up.

[ Is all they will offer to that, not confirming nor denying that last part. They turn back to what they were doing, placing everything the two of them had taken out back on the tray, before looking at him again from the corner of their eye. Now that they're not so stressed out about getting put back together, it is a little more noticeable that he doesn't look as he usually does— that is, having tons of energy and all that. Likely, it is a combination of his illness and exerting himself too much... ]

..Did you want to rest here, or something? [ Wait. That sounded too nice. ] You look terrible.

[ PERFECT. They give him a look that indicates that this is a serious offer; it's only fair after he went this far for them. ]

[ he does not take offense to being told he looks terrible, because a. it's definitely true, and b. he said the same thing to Cairngorm earlier... so he probably earned it. Lupin does seem a little surprised that they'd offer - but he also looks relieved. The idea of walking all the way back to Ruga is less than appealing at the moment, and he's slightly afraid he'll fall over if he tries. ]

If you don't mind? Sure. [ he stretches a little, and - even if he'd earned being called terrible - he can't help running his fingers through his hair just briefly, closing his eyes while he speaks. ] Geez... I'm so tired, even these broken-down Chroma couches feel comfy.

[ Normally they'd think of his exhaustion as proof that humans are inferior to gems in every physical way, but... right now, it's understandable. A century of babysitting the other gems during hibernation has made them surprisingly adept at how to take care of people who need rest. ]

I'll bring things for you, then. [ They muse, standing up with a stretch and a yawn of their own. ] I'd carry you somewhere more comfortable, but I shouldn't be lifting anything for a few days...

[ Carrying him might cause their arm to fall right off again, and then he might fall on it and break his fragile human bones or something. ]

Is there anything other than stuff for you to sleep on that I'm supposed to get?

[ they've read about a variety of strange cures for illness in fairytales, none of which they are sure are true... ]

No, no, no, this is fine, [ Lupin answers rather hastily. Getting carried around by Cairngorm outside of a life-or-death situation sounds kind of embarrassing. His pride!! ] I'm the kind of guy that could sleep on a picket fence. You don't need to get me anything.

[ he's slept on the ground and on the floor enough times in his life that a couch is actually pretty luxurious. In the back of his mind, he's got a list of other things he needs to do - check on Maya, check on Akira, check on Akechi, check on just about everyone, really - but the idea of taking a quick nap is so tempting that he can't resist it. When they move off the couch, he shifts to lay down, stretching out like a lazy alley cat and closing his eyes. It's a little cold, especially after sloshing around in the water like he had been, but he'll be fine. ]

Just give me... an hour, an hour and a half. Then I'll be out of your hair.

[ if Cairngorm leaves him, he will, in fact, fall asleep pretty fast. Normally, he'd be on edge about leaving himself in the open in someone else's house, but he feels pretty safe around Cairngorm, and he's also simply too tired to care, between the exertion of today and the sickness he's been battling all week. ]

Edited 2018-09-29 05:29 (UTC)

I'm not gonna care either way. I'll probably be asleep until a day and a half from now, so I won't even notice...

[ He's free to stay for however long he wants, is what they mean. They wave a hand dismissively, sliding the tray off the table and holding it against their body while they give him one last stare. He said he doesn't need anything, and they're not the type to coddle anyone, but that does confuse them a bit given he insisted on giving them a blanket when they came over and they're... literally unable to feel temperature.

Maybe it's warm in here? They don't know. ]

If you're really fine, then— good night. [ uncertain pause, ] ...And thanks for carrying me here.

[ and definitely NOT for any of that other stuff ]

Event Nine.

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