awashlogs | Event Eight.

[The look he gets from Guren is returned with something just as cold and scathing. At the top of the stairs, he stops and doesn't take even a single step down.] Why? [In all honesty, he knows why, based on what Guren has told him. But he wants to argue for the sake of arguing. He wants to argue because his chest feels like it'll burst from the sheer frustration he feels about this topic.

Guren's hands are tied. He gets it. In the end, he gets it.] You're a teacher, aren't you? You should be protecting them. They trust you! They want to be you! [His fists ball at his sides, and his voice echoes as it rises.] How can you just stand around and let them die trying to become a monster so the Hiiragis' can have a tool to fight vampires?!

Average children can't control power like that, and you know it better than anyone, Ichinose.

[He stops halfway down the first set of stairs once he realizes Damian isn't going to follow until he gets this out of his system, at the very least. He doesn't bother looking back.

Those words... they're words he tells himself all the time. Why does this have to happen, why isn't he doing enough? He can't, he's too weak, he doesn't have enough power yet. He's letting children die.]

If they don't have power, they also risk dying. That's how the world works. That's how things are. All I can do is try to prepare them for that, and recommend only who I'm sure is ready.

If you think that anyone can survive in a world like this without contributing, then you're just naive. I don't have the time to help people who aren't of use to me.

You don't mean that. [It comes too quick for him to have stopped to consider anything. He doesn't have to because, like himself, there's little nuances to Guren which give away the caring. He knows Guren could have pulverized him before, especially after he had initiated the attack... but Guren didn't. It says something.] I'm not an idiot.

You wouldn't still be teaching them if you thought that. [Slowly, he begins heading down the stairs. He doesn't try to overtake Guren to see Guren's face. Instead, he lets the man not look back, and he stands a step or two up.] You wouldn't have anything to do with children at all.

You have enough power, you said so yourself. You wouldn't be wasting your time teaching them if you didn't care.

[Even a kid's got his number... Well, but it's his big obvious secret, right? He cares.

Still, he's stiff where he stands, fingers curling into fists in his pockets. He hates that response even more than the blame. The blaming had been right— but this? This was giving him too much credit. That's how he felt.]

I'm ordered to teach them. Just like I'm ordered to do everything else.

[He keeps walking down the stairs now. There are countless ways he goes against orders, to try and help, to try and make the world better— but he's still not good enough in the end, so what does it matter? These are just orders.]

I thought you hated me? Don't waste your time trying to make what I do alright because you think I care about a bunch of snot-nosed brats.

Don't worry. I still find you irritating beyond belief, and I would sooner run you through with something sharp and jagged if I had the chance. [Only partially true, but Guren should understand, right?] I don't think what you do is "alright." It's abusive at best and verging on tyrannical at worst.

But with you bending under the Hiiragis boots, I'd expect nothing less than sly and manipulative ways of trying to keep children's blood from being on your hands.

[He gets it. He just likes giving Guren a hard time.]

[I can't believe Damian is a tumblr Mika stan.]

Just go die already.

[Ah, there he is, the ultimate tsun. Damian is such a brat, and Guren can tell he's dancing that irritating line of thinking Guren is a good person and criticizing him for everything he does. He hates it. Both parts are irritating.

There are a lot of stairs for a school, it seems. They keep going and going. Well, but Guren is trying to share a bit about himself for Damian, since he seems so constantly frustrated and curious... so, he's a softy after all.]

The demon in my blade is a rank 1 demon from what's called the black demon series. They're exceptionally aggressive, and since mine is a possession type, it's even worse. But with a contract, a spell keeps it in check. My heart is strong, so I don't give in enough to grant the demon full control.

[Let's just leave it at that sure]

[Shut up and let him stan Mika.]

I've already died once, and I came back. You can't get rid of me that easily, Ichinose. Nice try, however.

[There's a smirk in his voice even though there's no smirk on his face. He doesn't comment right now on the demon wielding, but his eyes drop down to the sword at Guren's side. Damian Wayne will remember this.

And hopefully use it against Guren in the future, if it comes down to it. Waynes fucking love cataloging people's weaknesses, especially if they're metahuman or supernatural, something that can be tampered with. He doesn't think for a single second there aren't times when Guren can, will, and does lose control.

Hm. These stairs are long???? He gets the distinct feeling Guren is taking him somewhere shady as hell. Thanks...]

How did that happen?

[It's enough to get him to glance back, curious. Be careful with that information, Damian. Losing control with a demon makes you stronger, not weaker— and that's exactly what Guren is trying to balance.

But as they get lower and lower, he'll be able to feel the energy in the air. Even if the demons aren't actually down there right now, it's like they've left something behind in Guren's memory. Overbearing power, ominous, dark feelings, eating at your mind. The feeling that you should turn around and leave.]

[Speaking of dying...

This isn't unfamiliar energy, surprisingly. Damian is well acquainted with the suffocating, ominous energy wafting up from below, strangling him. His feet grow more solidly planted, and he slows every so slightly in his descent.] My mother is a very ambition woman.

When I betrayed her by choosing to remain with my father instead of taking my place at the head of the League, she went back to the drawing board. She disowned me and started again.

I wasn't ever born. I was grown in an artificial womb. She just grew another. A clone. But she didn't have time to wait ten years, so she found a way to speed up the maturing processes. It was simply physical. He was still a toddler in an adult's body.

I fought him to keep him from assisting Mother in nefarious plans, but he stabbed me when I was too tired to keep going.

[He knows this energy. It's what came after. There's no fire and brimstone. How it feels is the same, clenching his chest.

Apokolips.]

[Another sign that Guren does care in that big softy heart of his is that he can't listen to a story like this without reacting. He's tenser in his movements, angry, irritated, bothered that this sort of thing can happen in so many places, in so many similar ways, and he can't do a damn thing about it.

He clicks his tongue, because he has to get it out some way, eyebrows furrowed as he stares down. The feeling gets worse and worse, and soon enough, Damian will notice that there's a large door absolutely covered in talismans ahead.]

So that's how you died? Then how did you come back? Something to do with cloning, too?

[It's not often Damian ever seems unnerved, but going down to the bottom and standing in front of the door disturbs him. It shows on his face, shocked a little, brows pinched, everything about him straight and tense.

There's nothing at all similar, honestly. There was no door, no nothing actually, not when he was lying in a coffin and dead. He hadn't even been alive, awake. But he has dreams about it--nightmares.

A world burning and awful and hellish.] No. It was... the shard... The Chaos Shard... [His skin crawls, and he takes half a step back before becoming rigid with resolve. His eyes don't leave the door. Guren doesn't exist for a moment. He thinks he'll asphyxiate. Darkseid and Ra's and Apokolips all want him to come back. To be dead. To give his body.

His attention snaps to Guren suddenly, pupils large and wild, but slowly calming.] The embryonic womb... my mother used... was powered by a Chaos sliver... Father used another one... to connect them, and the circuit resurrected me.

...What is this place, Ichinose?

[Chaos shard. He takes that all in quietly, using the time to move his steps over to where Damian stands, placing a hand on his shoulder. The demons are gone, this is just the leftover feeling, so he can't be hurt— but Guren knows it's troubling all the same.]

It used to be an underground temple. It was turned into something of a training ground. They kept demons here, of all levels. We're right by the ceremony room for the black demon series weapons.

I've already checked, and the demon weapons are no longer here. The feeling is leftover. To face a demon like this directly and make contact with it, it would feel at least ten times as bad as this.

[Since they go directly into your mind and heart and rip out your worst memories to use them against you.]

If I wanted to, I could release energy like this from my blade, more concentrated. Most people can't stay conscious without the use of protective seals. Inside, it's just an empty old temple with seals on the ground and demon statues.

Do you want to see it?

[Since being here, he's been in quite a bit of "trouble" with the town. Having the Bogeyman screw around with all of these feelings only made it worse. Josuke healed him--but the Bogeyman still stabbed him as Heretic regardless. He messed up with Elizabeth's portals, and he got the repercussions of seeing everyone else in gruesome ways. He went into the forest alone; the challenge was he had to defeat monsters only for them to end up as the bodies of people he cared about.

But if he can do all of that and keep getting up every morning, this is nothing. If he can die, this is nothing.

The shoulder under Guren's hand is just as tense as it had been. His face crumples irritably when he glances up at Guren, even if the look isn't directed at the man. He's fine. He thinks he can take a demon standing, at least for a little bit.]

Show me.

[The most exhausting thing about seeing that look is knowing that Damian would definitely be able to stay standing if Guren released the demonic energy he had to his class to test for black demon series users. Even if he may have ended up leaning on something for support, he would have stayed conscious. Guren firmly believes this.

This is just the shadow of these demons, anyway. He should be fine, but if he's got that much going on in his head, it's not going to be pleasant.

He steps forward, muttering something under his breath so quickly that it's unclear if it was a spell or just a comment, but the doors open with a push of his hand.

Inside, there are a bunch of demon statues lined up in front of what appear to be some sort of summoning circles or other spellcraft on the ground. The statues are ominous looking, looming around them as well as the ones in front of them, varying in color and shape.

But this room was empty the last time he checked, and now, there's a blade sitting in the middle of one of the circles. It's enough to get Guren to pause.]

[The look of the room doesn't exactly dredge up fear, but it is creepy. The air feels stifling more than anything. He's aware this room isn't something to be fucking around in jokingly. In reminds him of the room housing the collections and trophies from his Year of Blood, in a different way.

Focused on the statues, Damian nearly runs into Guren's backside when the man stops. He glances up then leans just enough to peer around Guren to the frontside of them. ?? His eyes lift to Guren's face. Guren seems too uncertain.]

What is it?

You see it, too?

[It's beyond just uncertainty now. That wasn't here before. That was never here. He moves his arm back to try and push Damian back behind him, even as he steps into the room.]

Stay back. Don't let it touch you. [Very serious, very paranoid, but he'd thought at first that it was just a hallucination. Now, though... It's not possible that a demon weapon like that could be here really, right? That a demon could be here?

He draws his own katana two steps into the room, black and red, and his whole feel changes. Without hesitating, he throws a handful of fuda at the sword, covering it in paper and leveling his own sword at it—

And nothing happens. Nothing at all. Seems like it really is just an empty sword, even if Guren is glaring holes into it in his paranoia.]

Yes. [He's stubborn enough to not want to stay back; however, he does for Guren's sake at least. Not being in this world means there's variables he won't understand. Plus, Guren sounds legit, like it's dangerous.

Suddenly, he's hyper aware of the room, but his eyes don't leave the sword. He watches Guren draw the sword, cover the other in fuda, prepare for something...

...then nothing.

All of the tension drains out of his body, and his face falls flat.] If this is your idea of a joke to try to "scare" me, it's not working, Ichinose. [Guren really isn't acting like it's a joke, BUT STILL. He got worked up for nothing it seems like!]

If it's a joke, it's not mine.

[There's no humor in Guren's voice. For a moment, he'd been terrified, and he still doesn't know what this means. Can Mahiru extend her reach like this? Can this world be altered from his memory? Is his demon in his soul changing things? Or did one sword slip through the cracks and hide until now.

He doesn't know. He doesn't like it, and he wasn't about to risk Damian feeling first hand what it's like to face a demon, after all of that talk. He crosses the distance between himself and the sword, steps on it and digs his own katana down into the blade, through the fuda.

It disintegrates, and Guren stares at where it used to be, his sword still stabbed into the ground.

Well, Damian can admire the rest of the room, if he wants. It's all that dark feeling and statues and seals, though. Also... a few blood stains here or there.]

[The lack of humor pulls goosebumps along Damian's arms and the back of his neck. His eyes don't leave the sword, and he watches Guren get rid of it. Maybe the fact it vanishes is what is so eerie.

Slowly, Damian looks around the room again. Even if he's not scared, he has to admit there's an energy embedded in the strangely piercing eyes of which he's not a fan at all.] Oni? Cute. [His eyes drop to the designs on the floor in front of the statues.

It looks like something Klarion would be messing around with. Cultist, witchy shit. Damian frowns.] You didn't have to destroy it. I would have been fine. All of this is just based on memory, right?

How does it work? This room.

I'm not leaving it to chance.

[That's his simple answer, finally, and only then does he sigh out his breath and sheathe his own sword. He glances over to Damian after that.]

Normally, there are weapons laid out here. I'd tell you to pick one that suits your fighting style best, and by touching it, you'd be met face to face with a demon inside of your soul.

It tries to win control of you. By using memories and illusions, it picks at pieces of your soul until you feel like you can't move on. Either you overcome that and wake up, or you become a demon, a maneater, and have to be killed before you kill all of your comrades.

[Usually, that's the case. There are some special Yoichi cases he won't get into because that's a bad lesson. Not everyone can come back.]

[Each statue gets a small regard in turn. The aura hasn't stopped being suffering, but he isn't scared of anything else. Come at him, demons. He'll fight you, 1v1.]

Funny. You just destroyed the only one left out to pick up.

[The eyes shift from the statues to Guren, flick to the place on the floor pointedly, then back up again.]

How many people have you seen become a maneater?

You're not ready for something like this.

[Not that he thinks he couldn't be eventually. Just. He doesn't want Damian to die?? Because he was careless himself? Leave him alone.]

...Anyway, too many. I'm not keeping count. [Yes he is but I myself have no idea.] It's very rare that someone succeeds with one of these demons, in particular. The fact that I had three in my last class had all of the Hiiragi family on my ass, accusing me and everyone around me of spying or being a traitor.

It's not usual.

I'm always ready for anything. [When will Guren grow tired of Damian being who he is as a person? Very soon.] I'm not afraid of demons.

[But he is a little afraid of dying, ironically enough.]

Maybe you adults simply don't give us the credit we deserve in being able to handle these kinds of tasks. Growing up in a world which has been destroyed by a cataclysm isn't going to make children weaker, only stronger.

If anyone wants to survive, it's us. We're going to change the world when the rest of you are old and decrepit.

Listen to me, brat! That's exactly why you're not ready!

[He's in a bad mood from the sword, probably, and I'm sorry he's doing this. But he thumbs his own sword back out of its sheathe, and the energy in the room gets that much worse, until he stabs it straight down into the ground and the room seems to erupt with energy. Damian might find that it's actually difficult to stand. There's the sound of screams, of pain, and there's a dark aura coming from Guren's sword as he continues. If you want to see this in action, here is a handy time stamp clip. If he has any sort of psychic resistance, he'll do better. Otherwise, it's entirely based on willpower and strength, so Guren's guess is that he'll stay standing roughly, but feel free to do what you think is right!!]

You should be afraid! I'm not telling you that you're weak, I'm telling you that you're going to throw your life away if you spend all of it thinking that you're already at your best!

If you want to survive, then learn how to take things that are out of your league! I'm not trying to be better than you, you idiot, I'm trying to teach you a lesson!

[Anyway, that's enough. He pulls his sword up and tucks it away, and all at once, that pressure is gone. He's angry, heated— but it's because he's worried about Damian's attitude in other situations.]

Stop thinking that everything is a challenge.

[The gravity of the energy is so suddenly crushing, Damian stumbles back then tries to right himself forward. He's standing all of several seconds before dropping to his fingers and a knee, teeth gritted.

The strangest part is the weight is all below--no, inside. He's heavy, sinking, with a thousand screams in his ears. The ringing hums with something in his chest.]

You're... wrong...!

[Halfway through Guren's "lesson," he slowly pushes himself back up to a partial stand. The hum is stronger, and he stands straighter. No matter what precautions Bruce has given him for psychics, nothing trumps sleeping in death beside a shard of Chaos, nothing trumps being nurtured by one, being resurrected by one. The relic amplifies energy, and the residue of it starts building a rolling boil against the onslaught from Guren, feeding on Damian's anger. The man gets a mouth full of bared teeth and wild, primal eyes.]

I'm not... afraid of demons... because I'm already a demon! [Guren sheathes the sword and yanks all of the energy away from him. Damian's has nothing to push again anymore, and it pops, staggering him. All of it scatters, rushing up over Guren like the shallows of the ocean tide.]

I don't care what it takes! I'll knock down everything that stands in my way if it means protecting my friends and family! If I have to be a monster so they won't have to, so be it!

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forgive me

i love it