![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
- !event,
- akashi kaoru,
- akiko yosano,
- akira kurusu,
- aqua (kingdom hearts),
- arsene lupin,
- cairngorm,
- caramia,
- clark kent,
- damian wayne,
- dave strider,
- dextera,
- dirk strider,
- eliot durant,
- elizabeth,
- gaku yaotome,
- gandharva,
- ginko,
- goro akechi,
- guren ichinose,
- haru okumura,
- honebami toushirou,
- ignis scientia,
- izuku midoriya,
- john egbert,
- jonathan kent,
- joshua bright,
- josuke higashikata,
- kairi,
- kamui,
- kei nanjo,
- keigo asano,
- koriel xiii,
- kyrie,
- maribelle,
- maya amano,
- michael mell,
- mikleo,
- minato arisato,
- misaki yata,
- mutsunokami yoshiyuki,
- ochako uraraka,
- okuni kumou,
- okuyasu nijimura,
- percy jackson,
- phoenix,
- prompto argentum,
- riku,
- riku nanase,
- rin okumura,
- ryo asuka,
- saruhiko fushimi,
- selina kyle,
- shiho sannomiya,
- sora,
- sorey,
- summer moran,
- tenn kujo,
- tonbokiri,
- zelda
Event Eight.
 | |
The heart's dearest solace will smile on me there. No more from the cottage again will I roam, Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home. | |
Welcome to Awash's eighth event log, everyone! Further information on this event can be found here at the OOC post. | |
he Town is quiet this week. No sudden quests on the forum post, no roars of werewolves in the distance... just peaceful, peaceful quiet. Of course, it's
roof
a huge pile of puppets.
while dave has zero issues speaking up a rapbot, his reaction to figuring out that the normal door doesn't work and dubiously eyeing the high tech closet is to just go out the fucking window and float up to the roof. he balances on the edge of it, hands in his back pockets as he stands there, and he's not really dressed for the sea apocalypse but even the heat in chroma hadn't been bothering him.
he eyes the scar dirk showed him once but doesn't say a word about it. ]
You gonna stop bein' part of the pajama asshole party, then?
no subject
he glances up when he senses another presence nearby, pleasantly surprised to see it's dave and nodding as a way of greeting him before the question makes his lips quirk wryly. ]
I have my wardrobifier here so I figured I might as well take advantage of it while it lasts. Seems dumb not to.
[ and jake is still a statue so there's no chance of his best bro wandering in and seeing the scar he's been keeping hidden from him. so there's that too. ]
no subject
[ that speedo... ]
...What all else have you taken out of here so far? [ he's at least aware things can be kept. one per visit. or two, maybe, if it's two people from home. he hasn't taken anything from dirk's abode, though, just eyes the scar and wonders how many strife scars dirk has.
which of them has more?
it's a dumb little thought and he doesn't voice it. ]
no subject
[ because yeah... that speedo.
also he's not going to mention that he still plans on mostly wearing his god tier outfit because he's well-aware it's dumb and it's unlikely he can keep his death a secret from jake forever, but whatever. he can try. ]
It's really been mostly clothes and some tools.
[ he can tell dave is staring, senses it more than he sees it, and he can't quite figure out why, so... ]
What's on your mind?
no subject
The scar again, I guess. Or like...scars. I was just thinking about them in general. [ he has a new one, another stab wound, from the bogeyman. ]
no subject
either way... ]
I can cover it up if you want...?
no subject
[ he's aware his mind works in circles. ]
It doesn't bother me, though. Do...is that why you always cover it up?
no subject
unfortunately he's no seer. ]
No, I don't really care. Not for that reason. I'm covered in scars anyway, what's one more? [ sure, it's definitely the scar that stands out the most, but whatever. it's a scar gained for a worthy cause. the real reason makes him hesitate slightly before he voices it. ] It's just that Jake doesn't know and I don't want him to.
no subject
but he didn't hide the fact he has scars. ]
It's easy to want to protect them, huh.
no subject
It is.
[ instant agreement. ]
Jake knows me too well. He'd know something was up if I suddenly started wearing scarves or turtlenecks.
[ so godtier jammies it is. ]
no subject
[ which dave sucks at but is. trying. ]
Where we're completely honest with one another? Which maybe ain't helping the codependent shit that's always kinda lurked in the background. But it's sort of...okay. That he knows shit and can...
[ a pause. ]
I still have the urge to want to protect him from everything bad and too heavy, but he's not...weak. He wants to handle it. He can when I let him.
no subject
That sounds difficult, but nice.
[ he'd feel envious if he were the type for it, but he's not. if anything, he's glad dave has john to talk to, codependent or not. it's better than walking around on eggshells around each other.
which is pretty much what he and jake are doing along with ignoring the elephant in the room whenever they talk.
he considers not getting into that, to keep the focus on dave and john, but there's shit he's been sitting on since the moment he and jake arrived here and the one person he wants to talk to most about it — who understands and relates on a personal level like no one else can — isn't here. maybe talking to dave about it will help, at least he understands somewhat and he's easy to confide in.
and after all that's what brothers do, right? ]
Jake is... [ he has to pause, stop, start over and oh, how he hates faltering like that. but he presses on. ] Things are complicated between us. Being honest would mean confronting things said and done that I'm sure he would rather never think about again. The scar is sort of related to that.
[ there's a pause and he looks away, gazing at the blurry ocean in the distance as he admits, quieter. ]
Frankly I'm amazed he'll even talk to me at all and I don't want to give him a reason to stop.
[ desperate much? whether it's because he's not as over jake as he thought he was or because he's just clinging to the familiar he doesn't know. he's not sure he wants to. ]
no subject
You seem to care about him a lot. [ it's a question or a statement, tentative and trying to feel it out. matching tattoos and that fond look dirk had gotten after jake and dave had gotten back. ] So...what's complicated? If you want. It, uh, like...it's nothing to do with me, y'know, so it ain't gonna be a reason not to talk to you. If you ever wanna talk.
no subject
jake will always remain special to him, that's the one thing he knows for sure.
and although he'd more or less sort of talked about it with the other dave, he still finds himself hesitating. but only briefly because dave is just so kind (another roxy-inherited trait, no doubt) and it's not like he reacted badly the first time around. ]
Jake and I have been best bros forever, but he's also my, um, ex. [ it stings saying that out loud, giving it a name. ] We started dating when we got into our session and our relationship turned out to be an unmitigated disaster that ended in... uh, not a good way. We haven't talked about it since it happened even though we probably should.
[ he shifts his gaze a few degrees to stare at the more defined water right below them. ]
Bringing it up would just send him running for the hills which is fair enough. I don't think I've ever been good for him and he'd be justified in avoiding me entirely, but it's just— [ he can't quite grasp the feeling, much less the word for it, so he ends up waving his hand in a gesture that manages to both be frustrated and defeated at the same time before he adds wryly: ]
Being honest with each other would be a nice change. Just unlikely to happen.
no subject
mostly he considers jake for a moment, and figures he can understand ending up with a crush on your best friend. ]
The whole speedo thing must've been even more awkward for you than the rest of us, huh.
[ wAIT ]
Wait shit that's not what I - oh, fuck it. [ that's definitely just the first thought to come to mind and he drags a hand down his face. ] I mean. Don't write it off entirely? I lied to John about a bunch of shit for most of our friendship.
[ a pause. ]
I told him earlier this month about...how I grew up, and stuff. And most of the things I didn't...tell him before. I dunno. For whatever it's worth, I don't think you're bad for everyone?
no subject
It certainly didn't help matters, no.
[ because have you seen That Ass and those damn fine legs?? the speedo sure puts it all on display and then some.
and all he can think is good that dave told john. that's progress, isn't it? he's glad for that. but whatever amusement or good feeling might have lingered, it's quickly replaced with wryness. ]
Aren't I? You more than anyone know the potential of how bad I can be.
[ bro is another him, after all. even setting the possessed cal influence thing aside, it's all too easy to picture himself ending up like that. he's not been accused of being a cold, unfeeling robot for nothing. there's a thin line separating him from being bro and he's pondered it many times by now.
did dave's bro turn out the way he did because he had no jake to love, no roxy to show him what kindness is, no jane to be his voice of reason in a frilly apron, and no calliope to point him in their direction and thereby save his life from a void of loneliness? dirk thinks so. but is it a line of thought worth retreading yet again? probably not. ]
Anyway, telling John can't have been easy, but it's good that you did.
no subject
[ he can't say much about how good dirk is or isn't for jake because dave doesn't know the details and while he thinks it's likely dirk was too hard on himself (he gets the feeling dirk is always too hard on himself, at this point) dave figures dirk probably wasn't wrong about whatever went wrong being something that went wrong.
hell, he knows his own relationship with terezi went bad, although that had more to do with the whole "she cheated on me with a juggalo and i wasn't really about that life" thing than anything else.
(he occasionally wonders if that was his fault.)
but the thing about dirk being bad for everyone he can speak to, even if he's looking off at the ocean instead of at dirk as he says it. ]
It's, like. When Rose told me who the other players would be, you're not who I expected. I bet I told you that. You're like...the antithesis of what I expected? You're the guy I always wanted him to be, or maybe not exactly because I don't know, I thought he was cool and you're kind of a huge dork but like. It's better you're a huge dork.
[ because dave is, too, and he understands it. ]
You have actual feelings. That I can see. And you like...worry about people, and me, and you try. So hard. I'm not sayin' you're perfect because you ain't, but like. I think I'm better for knowin' you. If I didn't, I never would have actually gotten to see what it's like to have a brother. So. No, you aren't. You're good for at least one person, but I'm pretty sure there's more than that.
no subject
as dave elaborates, a part of him feels guilty because he thinks maybe he somehow duped dave into thinking he's a more decent person than he actually is. but even he knows that it's a stupid thought because dave knows. from the things he's heard about him, bro seemed to be the very worst parts of him amplified and then further exacerbated under the influence of an evil cal. dave knows him at his absolute worst like no one else does.
and that makes everything more believable coming out of dave's mouth than his friends' and frankly, he's not sure how to deal with what his bro is saying. it goes against everything he believes about himself. although he doubts he was good for any of his friends given how badly they fell apart all because he loved one boy and was selfish about it, but if he's good for dave... then maybe that's enough. even though it's another version of himself that fucked him up in the first place. ]
... Oh.
[ good job di-stri, the very picture of eloquence right there. it's all too easy to imagine hal mocking him right now and listing counterarguments. there's a pause as he ignores it and struggles to formulate a response. ]
Sorry, I... don't really know what to say to that. But uh, it means a lot coming from you. [ he settles for honest because it's the one thing he always can't help being around dave. ]
You're better than what I imagined my bro to be, too. Like he would have been too cool to have talks like this and I would rather have it be this way than whatever I imagined being with him would be like.
no subject