Who told you so, dilly dilly, Who told you so? ‘Twas my own heart, dilly dilly, That told me so.
ouch is one of the most intimate, romantic ways to be close to someone else. The Town knows this very well -- the Town wants everyone to be as close as possible.
Perhaps that's why this bonding is so...aggressive.
Because you're in for quite the shock on this otherwise peaceful day when you brush against the next person on your path.
Maybe you're going out of your way to touch people. Maybe you've got a terrible urge to just see what's lurking in someone's heart. Maybe you trip over a conveniently placed rock -- whatever the cause, you're getting an up close and personal look into someone else's heart.
Welcome to Awash's eighteenth event log, everyone! Further information on this event can be found here at the OOC post. You are welcome to make your own logs and posts for this event!
If there are any questions, please ask them here. Thank you!
A delicate pause follows his question. And then she answers: ]
You... and I. Us.
[ She says, tone especially careful in this instance. ] You claimed both of us as villains, didn't you? [ Kinda. Sorta. Yeah. If he's moving his head away from her hand, then fine. She'll just give him a motherly head pat instead. ]
If you don't believe that you should be forgiven, then I shouldn't either. A scholar shouldn't cherry-pick.
[ His brow furrows, but he can't quite place why that doesn't sound right. It isn't wrong to say that he was speaking to "himself" and her at the same time. ]
I didn't claim you were a villain. [ The head pat is met with a small sigh. ] But ... you do feel like you're also hurting. This teacher's eyes are a little worn and miss a few things, but he noticed that much.
[ A half-smile. ] Scholars cherry-pick all the time. But ... I do want to be forgiven. [ Ah, that hurts to say. Not in a painful way, but like he is slowly releasing some pressure on his chest. ]
You are someone that I will forgive. I'll say it out here in reality. I'll forgive you. I'll tell you that you were wrong and scold you... but I'll forgive you.
[ He looks back to her. ] You have lived a long life... and living here with us now. Should you not be living with a little kinder to yourself? [ A softer smile. ] You cannot ask me to rely on you and ask for help, if you won't do the same for yourself, ah?
[ Would he believe her, she wonders, if she told him that she's only learned the concept of relying on others within the past five hundred years? And even then... she is not an expert on relying on others in any sense. Or confiding in them.
But she has learned what friendship is and what love is. And she's come to respect both of those human constructs as... not constructs as all, but very real, and very true things that exist within the world. They are things that she respects, things that she wants to have for herself. ]
Likewise, I forgive you... I'll tell you when you're wrong, when you're doing something wrong-- like pushing others away, those that want to help you. [ Also, she wants to call him out with trying to guide the conversation away from him! When this isn't about her at all! This is all about his heart! So she's not going to even to acknowledge that he suspects she is hurting. ]
But I'll also forgive you for that, because I know it's difficult.
[ She withdraws her hand, and now she's completely separated from him. ] I suppose we're at a stand-still, huh? We already said we would protect each other.
[ Shen Qingqiu wants to argue that he isn't doing that at all, but he's so used to deflecting his own emotions that he can honestly say that he no longer knows if he is or is not doing it. Not the healthiest of revelations to have! ]
This teacher will do what he can to listen. [ And he will smile warmly at her, because he should give her something to hope for rather than feel like he is such a lost cause. ] Sometimes, that will be difficult. You need not have patience if I am too hard-of-hearing.
[ Even if she knows it is difficult, he tells her that it is okay to yell at him. ]
We already did say that, yes. We said those things and ... did we do those things when they mattered? [ His eyes drop down to her arm; the warm smile changes to a rueful one quickly. ] Protecting Pyra from making poor decisions like dying for someone... I can say I did that, and am happy I did so.
[ His gaze drifts back up. ] And Pyra protected me from having to keep thinking it would be impossible to be forgiven... even though, I wished for it to be possible. So, it seems like we are living up to our promises... even if I broke mine slightly by hurting you. [ Listen, you can say the real pain is seeing me hurting, but I ain't letting this go! Okay? Okay! ]
[ Ah... he's looking at her injured arm again. She's been trying to place his attention away from that this entire time, but it seems that he hasn't left his mind. She hopes he won't feel guilt about that in the future. Because if it was the System-- or, himself, as he has said-- that did this to her, then it probably would have inflicted something terrible onto him all the same.
She doesn't regret the choices that she made in his heart, only that it took stepping into his heart in the first place to realize just how much he is hurting.
.....It occurs to her, then, that he knows very little about her. Perhaps, in part, by how little she talks about herself, but also because she is so much more fascinated with him. An immortal, a peak lord (whatever hat means), a leader, an intellectual, a being to passes on his knowledge to obtain that immortality onto others, helping them. Who knows how many he has helped within his long life time.
She might claim to be his "senior", but she was only being partly facetious to pull rank and get him to listen. But really, who is she in comparison? A tool of the god of her world, nothing more. Meanwhile, he... ]
...Looks like I'll have to take better care of myself, too, to take better care of you.
[ She extends her remaining hand out. ]
So.... would you lend me a bit of your power?
[ Ordinarily... she would simply wait for the energy within her to reconstruct the parts of her body that was lost, to take care of things herself, alone. But maybe this will show him that she too is willing to reinforce the lesson that she's learned of others intruding within her own heart, that she is not alone. That she has others to help her. ]
[ He offers her a small smile as he takes her hand in both of his own. Let's see here. It's probably not the same -- but pressure points? Well, more around the wrist? Shen Qingqiu thinks of the correct method on safely transferring spiritual energy from cultivator to cultivator, and knows it probably doesn't apply in this situation yet does it anyway. ]
So like this, huh?
[ Shen Qingqiu lets the energy flow out through his hands into her -- cool, comforting. The idea that you can heal like this. I'm sorry for making jokes about it before. But I'm glad that you can heal so easily like this. Really, don't keep taking on injuries from other people without getting mad about it, okay?!
Opening his mouth, he closes it as he feels like he's being a little too intimate and probably making her feel uncomfortable. His head gives a small shake. I'm the only one being weird. So, it's fine. If he takes too long, or stumbles too much, it definitely is going to look bad. ]
I love you. [ I was just thinking ... I had promised to say those to you, but I also feel it. I also feel a great sense of it towards you. The connection with a person that I want to cherish and want to protect. A person I want to look after regardless that you aren't human. Such a thing ... it doesn't matter to me. I would rather that instead of having you worry that you feel at ease, and that you go crying somewhere we can't see, okay?
Shen Qingqiu can't bring himself to say so many embarrassing things at once, so he just chooses those three words and considers them enough. ]
[ She's usually the one who passes on her power to others, revitalizing them and replenishing their own stores of magic, energy, or whatever it is that they use for their abilities. Because her power works in quite a universal and mysterious way, able to resonate with others and adapt to them, able to translate itself into something that can be utilized because it is incomprehensible and immaculate, divine. The seal she has upon herself transforms the source of her energy into something far heavier and imperfect from its original form, but she's tethered to it in a way that lets her understand
His energy flows from his hands into hers, and... she's rather surprised by how it feels to her, how soothing, cool, and comforting it's channeled into her. He might even feel a tug, a pull to siphon that energy if he's especially perceptive, like something is calling that energy from him to her, beckoning it closer. Even so, Pyra's eyes are shut as he lends her this, and when he says those words....
The prickle of energy strange and foreign, but nonetheless recognizable for what it is: power. And so as it seeps back into her hand where it is assessed, translated, and then transformed into something she might use, the conversion taking place with a pulse of light....
The energy will be visible to him this time as it travels up her arm. Much like how rivers may be painted upon the ground to guide strong magics, it seems that the skin of her body is woven out of these leylines, the energy racing back up the path of her arm as if they were following a single circuit. It glows as it passing through the crystal at her chest, and then moves down her other limb where it begins to trigger a shift in the energy revealed by the cross-section of her arm.
And then it begins to reform: first, blueprint of light that gives the shape of an arm; second, a delay; and then finally with a flash the limb appears intact and whole once more... complete with her gloves and the crystal upon them. ]
[ Opening her eyes, she lifts up the limb to show him, as if to say "See? Good as new."
And then she sets her newly reformed hand upon the two that hold hers feeling.... humbled, in a way. It's a been a long day, and she'd like to believe that they came to some sort of newly reforged, unspoken promise together. It will be, and I love you... they really are finding a lot of things to repeat to each other. Words that both of them should hear.
She doesn't feel at all uncomfortable when he says them, really. But it does get her to pause as... something feels different to her when he says it this time. He's the first to say them to her, and he's the first one to transfer his energy to her instead of her giving it to someone else. He's also the first one to see so... much of her, really. The way she can use power, the way she can rebuild herself, the way that this pretty much confirms that she is not at all human, more like a being made solely of energy itself than anything natural. And still he says it, he says I love you. ]
...I love you as well. [ Her reply is but a whisper as she looks down upon their linked hands, her thumb brushing over his knuckles. It's remarkable, how she is made in a human's image... but she is grateful to have hands-- both of them-- so that she may be able to hold his. Grateful that she can even feel her cheeks warm and turn a soft pink in response, as embarrassing as it is. To feel a way a human might. Appearing as a solitary crystal or as a star to him wouldn't give her that opportunity at all.
She smiles at him, lightly adding: ] Now I'm able to hug you properly.
[ Shen Qingqiu can honestly say that he thought that it would be something like -- a sudden reformation of the arm rather than how it actually reforms itself. It really is fascinating to watch, feeling his eyes widen as he sees how his energy heals the wound. Though, I guess, cultivators are able to recover from like ruptured lungs and broken bone with this sort of technique, but this goes way behind that!
As much as it puts him at ease that he's able to help her in this fashion, he still sticks to what he said to himself seconds before about how this doesn't mean she can just throw herself into danger. Seeing you get injured... it hurts a person, ya know? People don't like scolding people they like, but because I like someone, I can't help but scold them!
When he's finished, he lets out a small sigh before releasing her hand. His eyes focus back on her face when he has been looking at her arm when she uses those words. It makes him smile despite himself, and not mind as his hand is taken into hers.
His smile fades as she talks about another hug. He lifts his free hand to lightly thwack her on her forehead with his finger. Hold on there. ]
No. There is something that I have to say first. [ He clears his throat. He is fairly certain she must have heard this from others and so is just joining in with the choir. If he's joining in, then he'll be one voice among many and that'll be fine. ] Certainly, you are much more powerful than even I am. Certainly, your body is far more able to take damage than even my immortal one.
But this teacher has to say that doesn't matter. The amount of pain that a person feels in seeing someone they care about, someone they love be hurt... it doesn't matter how quickly you can regenerate or how easily you can heal from those wounds. No one wants to see them at all, especially if they are caused from protecting someone else. [ Shen Qingqiu doesn't think that he explained this quite as well in the castle, but then he did not know the extent of her abilities! ]
[ ...A lecture. Here of all places? And about not hurting herself because it makes others worry. Or, well, he'll worry regardless because that's what friends do, but he's telling her to take better care of herself.
Or at least be mindful.
She doubts that she's more "powerful" than him, though. Durable, maybe. But she was constructed by Mythra to be significantly weaker, able to be subdued by even mortal means. --But that's beside the point.
[ ...Five hundred years ago, she would have been receiving a different topic for lectures and criticisms of this sort. They would not be for taking better care of herself, but rather she'd receive them to not injure others. To not be careful for her own sake and safety, but to keep others safe because she was far too reckless and unhinged, to be mindful of collateral damage and casualties.
How the times have changed. How these lectures have changed, that he is telling her to keep herself safe more. ]
[ It causes a nostalgic smile to tug at the corner of her lips regardless. She's come a long way, hasn't she? She's learned so much-- from the people she's met, from people like him. ]
...I'm not your disciple, remember? [ She begins lightly. Just like in the library, who is he to tell her to do anything?
But. It's just a soft admonishment on her part, and nothing more.
She nods softly. ] Mm, I'll accept this lesson anyway. If only because it's coming from someone so important to me.
[ Inside, he makes a choked sound. She's right! She's not a disciple! But he does take the tone as very soft and without the sharpness of someone actually mad at being told to be careful with herself.
He smiles as she nods. ]
I am humbled that you are willing to do so. [ I'm really not sure how I became important to you, but I'm touched? I am seriously touched! Isn't she always initiating hugs, too? He decides that he can swallow what usual embarrassment and fussiness he feels about such things.
His fingers twitch, a little nervous, before he lets his free arm wrap lightly around her. There! A hug.
He immediately tells himself to get bent! His shoulders drop as he roasts his own actions. He pulls his hand back from her grip so he can give her a proper hug, wrapping his arms around her to hold her tight. Okay! Okay! I did it! ]
[ She is just about to tease him that only using a single arm for a hug is a very, very sorry excuse for one. Did he ever hug his own disciples poorly? If so, she feels sorry for them.
But then he brings his other arm up around her, and finally it’s a proper embrace. Truthfully she hadn’t expected him to do that, especially when using such a strict tone tone to deliver his concerns only moments before. With the movement itself he’ll hear her draw a quick, quiet breath in surprise, accompanied by a pause. It takes a few moments with her arms remaining at her sides, limp, with him simply holding her body to his, for her to realize that— oh, he’s the one who’s actually doing this. He’s embracing her, whereas up until now it’s only been her giving them to him....
Slowly, her arms lift to encircle him in return, fingers pressing into his back welcoming, accepting, and meaningfully. He’ll find that she’s also warm, unnaturally so, when he’s holding him to her, but not so much that it will be uncomfortable.... And she, too, finds it rather easy to indulge in his own warmth, his support, so much so that she feels as if she’s let down so many of her defenses. Does everyone feel this way when they’re hugged?
Quietly, Pyra rests her head against his shoulder. She wants to hear him breathe, she wants to feel his heart beat if she can, she wants to remain here for a little while longer. Isn’t she lucky, she thinks, to have someone who cares for her so much to hold her like this? To not be afraid of her? Isn’t she lucky to have met him? Isn’t she lucky that he’s the one who said he cares enough about her to love her?
Architect, now she really does feel like crying. Instead, her fingers press more into the fabric of his robes, clinging to him for a few tense seconds. The emotion passes, and she’s left with another smile.
He probably wishes he could be embracing his real disciple right now. He probably wishes he could be holding him and telling him that he loves him and that he doesn’t want to ever see him hurt, either. Pyra is not his disciple, as she’s said. But she is enough of his friend to say that she loves him too, as she’s already told him before.
So for this moment... all she does is return the hug. Hold him. Be with him, accept him, his words, his actions, his heart, his hopes for her, his lectures, his everything that he has to give her... For she is sure that he has been in need of these sorts of embraces for quite a while. ]
You make it far too easy to say “I love you”, Shen Qingqiu. [ She murmurs after some time has passed. ] Because you are so easy to love in the first place.
[ One of his hands adjusts so that he could lightly rest it on the back of her head, lightly stroking her hair. You've suffered a lot having to be in my heart. His eyes close as he rests his head against hers. I don't mean just ... your arm and your hand. You had to see a lot of terrible things. I felt I had to show them to you so that you could stop trusting in me, so that you could stop believing in me, so that you'd not care about me.
He can speak honestly when he's able to keep his words to himself. I thought if I showed you all the disgusting parts about myself ... the part that admits that I dislike who I am and who I became... that'd be enough for you to... decide I wasn't worth all the trouble.
Shen Qingqiu breathed easy, breathed without complications. His control was always amazing and he applauded himself for it. Normally, a person thinking all these things would feel their breath hitch or their heart hurt, but he is only saying something truthful to himself -- so why be overly upset about it.
But you decided to forgive me, instead. You decided not to pity me and the state I've put myself in. You were willing to die for me. His eyes opened as he looked at nothing in particular. I don't know if I'll ever be able to like myself. I can't promise I will be able to do it. But ... I can tell you... thank you. Yes, rather than 'I'm sorry.' Thank you.
His eyes widen when she does speak, however.
She really is a dear friend; an important friend.
What? Normally in this situation, wouldn't a person feel like they could confess something else! Ha! Miss me with that! He wouldn't devalue everything by saying that this is the moment that he "fell in love with her."
Are you kidding me! That's just saying that I love her for putting up with my bullshit just now! She's more than some manic pixie girl here to solve the problems of this old man! She's a good friend! A wonderful person that can't forgive herself -- but she's joining me in that club! His smile was soft, thoughtful. So, cut any romance from the scene, please!
He finally answers. ]
I think I make it hard. [ He softly laughs. ] But thank you.
[ Thank you. That's what one should say in a situation like this, as gracefully and gratefully as they can.
And she is grateful that he is here, that he has shown him so much of his heart, that he has revealed one of his own insecurities to her, his guilt and his sins, because this must be the first step-- a step that he cannot take alone. She's felt his power, his energy, his warmth, she used it to heal herself, she knows how strong he is, but still he must have others there. He must walk hand-in-hand with another to help him towards that path of forgiveness. He won't just be holding hers, either; it will be everyone he's met here that's come to know and love him.
She doesn't want to break away from the embrace, but she knows they can't stay here forever. Pyra pulls away from him just enough that she can look at him, so that he may see her own expression and see all the love and appreciation she does have for him. She's so proud of him to have come this far, she's so grateful that he's telling her these things... and it is inspiring in its own way. If he can show his heart to her and others and still somehow come through it...
If he can say that he wants to be forgiven, then... she should be able to do the same, with help, shouldn't she?
Mythra wishes she were the one hugging him. She's almost tempted to tell him to close his eyes again so that she can appear and be the one to do so. ]
Even if the world itself was against you, it would still be easy to love you. [ Her hand lifts up to press against the side of his cheek, fingertips warm, touch gentle. He's quite the handsome face; matured and dark eyes with pale skin, his long hair framing it all; it's a shame that he looks so serious most of the time.
But... she can't say that. That she feels like, would be a little much given how they are. So instead: ]
....Hey. It's been a long day. Would you like to have dinner together?
Shen Qingqiu finds the joke in her comforting words where she doesn't see it. Within a few years time, he knows that Luo Binghe will return from the Endless Abyss. One of the first actions his old disciple will take is blackening his teacher's reputation. Even if the world itself turns against me, ah?
But he doesn't fall into the usual pit of feeling sorry for himself. It helps that she is looking at him; it helps that she lightly presses her hand against his face letting him feel a little less alone. It helps. It helps. ]
I would. [ Dinner of champions, eh? ] This teacher would like to attempt to cook for you. I don't know how to do much -- no, wait. Perhaps, we could make it together.
[ He initially was thinking of wanting to have her rest and recover; he was thinking how he could try his hand at actually making something while she sat back. But he realizes that would be kind of spitting on everything that they just talked about -- even in a small way.
[ And then it occurs to her that she wouldn’t just mind it.
Pyra shakes her head, pausing, and when she looks at him again all she can do is smile at him... only this time there’s something more to it, a unique warmth to the way her lips curve upward, the way she tucks a strand behind her ear, the way her smile finally reaches her eyes.
He’s give her something to look forward to. A reason, a small one, to be excited for the future. ]
I would like that... a lot.
[ And now she stands offering him a hand. ] Shall we?
[ Don't look so excited. I'm not that great at cooking...
He feels like he should bring up that he was a second-generation rich kid! In two universes! He's had chefs prepare his meals! He has no idea what he's doing in the kitchen, but can read instructions! That's really it!
Still, he knows he's just creating a wall with all his jokes and flippant thoughts. Not against her, not against himself. It's meant to let his heart recover after everything he's said, everything she's said, everything done. It's pretty shaken and just needs some time to itself to think.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
ouch is one of the most intimate, romantic ways to be close to someone else. The Town knows this very well -- the Town wants everyone to be as close as possible.
no subject
A delicate pause follows his question. And then she answers: ]
You... and I. Us.
[ She says, tone especially careful in this instance. ] You claimed both of us as villains, didn't you? [ Kinda. Sorta. Yeah. If he's moving his head away from her hand, then fine. She'll just give him a motherly head pat instead. ]
If you don't believe that you should be forgiven, then I shouldn't either. A scholar shouldn't cherry-pick.
no subject
I didn't claim you were a villain. [ The head pat is met with a small sigh. ] But ... you do feel like you're also hurting. This teacher's eyes are a little worn and miss a few things, but he noticed that much.
[ A half-smile. ] Scholars cherry-pick all the time. But ... I do want to be forgiven. [ Ah, that hurts to say. Not in a painful way, but like he is slowly releasing some pressure on his chest. ]
You are someone that I will forgive. I'll say it out here in reality. I'll forgive you. I'll tell you that you were wrong and scold you... but I'll forgive you.
[ He looks back to her. ] You have lived a long life... and living here with us now. Should you not be living with a little kinder to yourself? [ A softer smile. ] You cannot ask me to rely on you and ask for help, if you won't do the same for yourself, ah?
no subject
But she has learned what friendship is and what love is. And she's come to respect both of those human constructs as... not constructs as all, but very real, and very true things that exist within the world. They are things that she respects, things that she wants to have for herself. ]
Likewise, I forgive you... I'll tell you when you're wrong, when you're doing something wrong-- like pushing others away, those that want to help you. [ Also, she wants to call him out with trying to guide the conversation away from him! When this isn't about her at all! This is all about his heart! So she's not going to even to acknowledge that he suspects she is hurting. ]
But I'll also forgive you for that, because I know it's difficult.
[ She withdraws her hand, and now she's completely separated from him. ] I suppose we're at a stand-still, huh? We already said we would protect each other.
no subject
This teacher will do what he can to listen. [ And he will smile warmly at her, because he should give her something to hope for rather than feel like he is such a lost cause. ] Sometimes, that will be difficult. You need not have patience if I am too hard-of-hearing.
[ Even if she knows it is difficult, he tells her that it is okay to yell at him. ]
We already did say that, yes. We said those things and ... did we do those things when they mattered? [ His eyes drop down to her arm; the warm smile changes to a rueful one quickly. ] Protecting Pyra from making poor decisions like dying for someone... I can say I did that, and am happy I did so.
[ His gaze drifts back up. ] And Pyra protected me from having to keep thinking it would be impossible to be forgiven... even though, I wished for it to be possible. So, it seems like we are living up to our promises... even if I broke mine slightly by hurting you. [ Listen, you can say the real pain is seeing me hurting, but I ain't letting this go! Okay? Okay! ]
1/2
She doesn't regret the choices that she made in his heart, only that it took stepping into his heart in the first place to realize just how much he is hurting.
.....It occurs to her, then, that he knows very little about her. Perhaps, in part, by how little she talks about herself, but also because she is so much more fascinated with him. An immortal, a peak lord (whatever hat means), a leader, an intellectual, a being to passes on his knowledge to obtain that immortality onto others, helping them. Who knows how many he has helped within his long life time.
She might claim to be his "senior", but she was only being partly facetious to pull rank and get him to listen. But really, who is she in comparison? A tool of the god of her world, nothing more. Meanwhile, he... ]
no subject
[ She extends her remaining hand out. ]
So.... would you lend me a bit of your power?
[ Ordinarily... she would simply wait for the energy within her to reconstruct the parts of her body that was lost, to take care of things herself, alone. But maybe this will show him that she too is willing to reinforce the lesson that she's learned of others intruding within her own heart, that she is not alone. That she has others to help her. ]
no subject
[ He offers her a small smile as he takes her hand in both of his own. Let's see here. It's probably not the same -- but pressure points? Well, more around the wrist? Shen Qingqiu thinks of the correct method on safely transferring spiritual energy from cultivator to cultivator, and knows it probably doesn't apply in this situation yet does it anyway. ]
So like this, huh?
[ Shen Qingqiu lets the energy flow out through his hands into her -- cool, comforting. The idea that you can heal like this. I'm sorry for making jokes about it before. But I'm glad that you can heal so easily like this. Really, don't keep taking on injuries from other people without getting mad about it, okay?!
Opening his mouth, he closes it as he feels like he's being a little too intimate and probably making her feel uncomfortable. His head gives a small shake. I'm the only one being weird. So, it's fine. If he takes too long, or stumbles too much, it definitely is going to look bad. ]
I love you. [ I was just thinking ... I had promised to say those to you, but I also feel it. I also feel a great sense of it towards you. The connection with a person that I want to cherish and want to protect. A person I want to look after regardless that you aren't human. Such a thing ... it doesn't matter to me. I would rather that instead of having you worry that you feel at ease, and that you go crying somewhere we can't see, okay?
Shen Qingqiu can't bring himself to say so many embarrassing things at once, so he just chooses those three words and considers them enough. ]
1/2
His energy flows from his hands into hers, and... she's rather surprised by how it feels to her, how soothing, cool, and comforting it's channeled into her. He might even feel a tug, a pull to siphon that energy if he's especially perceptive, like something is calling that energy from him to her, beckoning it closer. Even so, Pyra's eyes are shut as he lends her this, and when he says those words....
The prickle of energy strange and foreign, but nonetheless recognizable for what it is: power. And so as it seeps back into her hand where it is assessed, translated, and then transformed into something she might use, the conversion taking place with a pulse of light....
The energy will be visible to him this time as it travels up her arm. Much like how rivers may be painted upon the ground to guide strong magics, it seems that the skin of her body is woven out of these leylines, the energy racing back up the path of her arm as if they were following a single circuit. It glows as it passing through the crystal at her chest, and then moves down her other limb where it begins to trigger a shift in the energy revealed by the cross-section of her arm.
And then it begins to reform: first, blueprint of light that gives the shape of an arm; second, a delay; and then finally with a flash the limb appears intact and whole once more... complete with her gloves and the crystal upon them. ]
no subject
And then she sets her newly reformed hand upon the two that hold hers feeling.... humbled, in a way. It's a been a long day, and she'd like to believe that they came to some sort of newly reforged, unspoken promise together. It will be, and I love you... they really are finding a lot of things to repeat to each other. Words that both of them should hear.
She doesn't feel at all uncomfortable when he says them, really. But it does get her to pause as... something feels different to her when he says it this time. He's the first to say them to her, and he's the first one to transfer his energy to her instead of her giving it to someone else. He's also the first one to see so... much of her, really. The way she can use power, the way she can rebuild herself, the way that this pretty much confirms that she is not at all human, more like a being made solely of energy itself than anything natural. And still he says it, he says I love you. ]
...I love you as well. [ Her reply is but a whisper as she looks down upon their linked hands, her thumb brushing over his knuckles. It's remarkable, how she is made in a human's image... but she is grateful to have hands-- both of them-- so that she may be able to hold his. Grateful that she can even feel her cheeks warm and turn a soft pink in response, as embarrassing as it is. To feel a way a human might. Appearing as a solitary crystal or as a star to him wouldn't give her that opportunity at all.
She smiles at him, lightly adding: ] Now I'm able to hug you properly.
no subject
As much as it puts him at ease that he's able to help her in this fashion, he still sticks to what he said to himself seconds before about how this doesn't mean she can just throw herself into danger. Seeing you get injured... it hurts a person, ya know? People don't like scolding people they like, but because I like someone, I can't help but scold them!
When he's finished, he lets out a small sigh before releasing her hand. His eyes focus back on her face when he has been looking at her arm when she uses those words. It makes him smile despite himself, and not mind as his hand is taken into hers.
His smile fades as she talks about another hug. He lifts his free hand to lightly thwack her on her forehead with his finger. Hold on there. ]
No. There is something that I have to say first. [ He clears his throat. He is fairly certain she must have heard this from others and so is just joining in with the choir. If he's joining in, then he'll be one voice among many and that'll be fine. ] Certainly, you are much more powerful than even I am. Certainly, your body is far more able to take damage than even my immortal one.
But this teacher has to say that doesn't matter. The amount of pain that a person feels in seeing someone they care about, someone they love be hurt... it doesn't matter how quickly you can regenerate or how easily you can heal from those wounds. No one wants to see them at all, especially if they are caused from protecting someone else. [ Shen Qingqiu doesn't think that he explained this quite as well in the castle, but then he did not know the extent of her abilities! ]
Wounds are wounds. Understand?
1/3
Or at least be mindful.
She doubts that she's more "powerful" than him, though. Durable, maybe. But she was constructed by Mythra to be significantly weaker, able to be subdued by even mortal means. --But that's beside the point.
She blinks when he taps her atop her head. ]
no subject
How the times have changed. How these lectures have changed, that he is telling her to keep herself safe more. ]
no subject
...I'm not your disciple, remember? [ She begins lightly. Just like in the library, who is he to tell her to do anything?
But. It's just a soft admonishment on her part, and nothing more.
She nods softly. ] Mm, I'll accept this lesson anyway. If only because it's coming from someone so important to me.
no subject
He smiles as she nods. ]
I am humbled that you are willing to do so. [ I'm really not sure how I became important to you, but I'm touched? I am seriously touched! Isn't she always initiating hugs, too? He decides that he can swallow what usual embarrassment and fussiness he feels about such things.
His fingers twitch, a little nervous, before he lets his free arm wrap lightly around her. There! A hug.
He immediately tells himself to get bent! His shoulders drop as he roasts his own actions. He pulls his hand back from her grip so he can give her a proper hug, wrapping his arms around her to hold her tight. Okay! Okay! I did it! ]
no subject
But then he brings his other arm up around her, and finally it’s a proper embrace. Truthfully she hadn’t expected him to do that, especially when using such a strict tone tone to deliver his concerns only moments before. With the movement itself he’ll hear her draw a quick, quiet breath in surprise, accompanied by a pause. It takes a few moments with her arms remaining at her sides, limp, with him simply holding her body to his, for her to realize that— oh, he’s the one who’s actually doing this. He’s embracing her, whereas up until now it’s only been her giving them to him....
Slowly, her arms lift to encircle him in return, fingers pressing into his back welcoming, accepting, and meaningfully. He’ll find that she’s also warm, unnaturally so, when he’s holding him to her, but not so much that it will be uncomfortable.... And she, too, finds it rather easy to indulge in his own warmth, his support, so much so that she feels as if she’s let down so many of her defenses. Does everyone feel this way when they’re hugged?
Quietly, Pyra rests her head against his shoulder. She wants to hear him breathe, she wants to feel his heart beat if she can, she wants to remain here for a little while longer. Isn’t she lucky, she thinks, to have someone who cares for her so much to hold her like this? To not be afraid of her? Isn’t she lucky to have met him? Isn’t she lucky that he’s the one who said he cares enough about her to love her?
Architect, now she really does feel like crying. Instead, her fingers press more into the fabric of his robes, clinging to him for a few tense seconds. The emotion passes, and she’s left with another smile.
He probably wishes he could be embracing his real disciple right now. He probably wishes he could be holding him and telling him that he loves him and that he doesn’t want to ever see him hurt, either. Pyra is not his disciple, as she’s said. But she is enough of his friend to say that she loves him too, as she’s already told him before.
So for this moment... all she does is return the hug. Hold him. Be with him, accept him, his words, his actions, his heart, his hopes for her, his lectures, his everything that he has to give her... For she is sure that he has been in need of these sorts of embraces for quite a while. ]
You make it far too easy to say “I love you”, Shen Qingqiu. [ She murmurs after some time has passed. ] Because you are so easy to love in the first place.
no subject
He can speak honestly when he's able to keep his words to himself. I thought if I showed you all the disgusting parts about myself ... the part that admits that I dislike who I am and who I became... that'd be enough for you to... decide I wasn't worth all the trouble.
Shen Qingqiu breathed easy, breathed without complications. His control was always amazing and he applauded himself for it. Normally, a person thinking all these things would feel their breath hitch or their heart hurt, but he is only saying something truthful to himself -- so why be overly upset about it.
But you decided to forgive me, instead. You decided not to pity me and the state I've put myself in. You were willing to die for me. His eyes opened as he looked at nothing in particular. I don't know if I'll ever be able to like myself. I can't promise I will be able to do it. But ... I can tell you... thank you. Yes, rather than 'I'm sorry.' Thank you.
His eyes widen when she does speak, however.
She really is a dear friend; an important friend.
What? Normally in this situation, wouldn't a person feel like they could confess something else! Ha! Miss me with that! He wouldn't devalue everything by saying that this is the moment that he "fell in love with her."
Are you kidding me! That's just saying that I love her for putting up with my bullshit just now! She's more than some manic pixie girl here to solve the problems of this old man! She's a good friend! A wonderful person that can't forgive herself -- but she's joining me in that club! His smile was soft, thoughtful. So, cut any romance from the scene, please!
He finally answers. ]
I think I make it hard. [ He softly laughs. ] But thank you.
no subject
And she is grateful that he is here, that he has shown him so much of his heart, that he has revealed one of his own insecurities to her, his guilt and his sins, because this must be the first step-- a step that he cannot take alone. She's felt his power, his energy, his warmth, she used it to heal herself, she knows how strong he is, but still he must have others there. He must walk hand-in-hand with another to help him towards that path of forgiveness. He won't just be holding hers, either; it will be everyone he's met here that's come to know and love him.
She doesn't want to break away from the embrace, but she knows they can't stay here forever. Pyra pulls away from him just enough that she can look at him, so that he may see her own expression and see all the love and appreciation she does have for him. She's so proud of him to have come this far, she's so grateful that he's telling her these things... and it is inspiring in its own way. If he can show his heart to her and others and still somehow come through it...
If he can say that he wants to be forgiven, then... she should be able to do the same, with help, shouldn't she?
Mythra wishes she were the one hugging him. She's almost tempted to tell him to close his eyes again so that she can appear and be the one to do so. ]
Even if the world itself was against you, it would still be easy to love you. [ Her hand lifts up to press against the side of his cheek, fingertips warm, touch gentle. He's quite the handsome face; matured and dark eyes with pale skin, his long hair framing it all; it's a shame that he looks so serious most of the time.
But... she can't say that. That she feels like, would be a little much given how they are. So instead: ]
....Hey. It's been a long day. Would you like to have dinner together?
no subject
Shen Qingqiu finds the joke in her comforting words where she doesn't see it. Within a few years time, he knows that Luo Binghe will return from the Endless Abyss. One of the first actions his old disciple will take is blackening his teacher's reputation. Even if the world itself turns against me, ah?
But he doesn't fall into the usual pit of feeling sorry for himself. It helps that she is looking at him; it helps that she lightly presses her hand against his face letting him feel a little less alone. It helps. It helps. ]
I would. [ Dinner of champions, eh? ] This teacher would like to attempt to cook for you. I don't know how to do much -- no, wait. Perhaps, we could make it together.
[ He initially was thinking of wanting to have her rest and recover; he was thinking how he could try his hand at actually making something while she sat back. But he realizes that would be kind of spitting on everything that they just talked about -- even in a small way.
Or maybe, I'm taking it too far! ]
no subject
[ And then it occurs to her that she wouldn’t just mind it.
Pyra shakes her head, pausing, and when she looks at him again all she can do is smile at him... only this time there’s something more to it, a unique warmth to the way her lips curve upward, the way she tucks a strand behind her ear, the way her smile finally reaches her eyes.
He’s give her something to look forward to. A reason, a small one, to be excited for the future. ]
I would like that... a lot.
[ And now she stands offering him a hand. ] Shall we?
no subject
He feels like he should bring up that he was a second-generation rich kid! In two universes! He's had chefs prepare his meals! He has no idea what he's doing in the kitchen, but can read instructions! That's really it!
Still, he knows he's just creating a wall with all his jokes and flippant thoughts. Not against her, not against himself. It's meant to let his heart recover after everything he's said, everything she's said, everything done. It's pretty shaken and just needs some time to itself to think.
He says like it has nothing to do with him.
Holding out his hand, he offers a smile. ]
Let's go.