Who told you so, dilly dilly, Who told you so? ‘Twas my own heart, dilly dilly, That told me so.
ouch is one of the most intimate, romantic ways to be close to someone else. The Town knows this very well -- the Town wants everyone to be as close as possible.
Perhaps that's why this bonding is so...aggressive.
Because you're in for quite the shock on this otherwise peaceful day when you brush against the next person on your path.
Maybe you're going out of your way to touch people. Maybe you've got a terrible urge to just see what's lurking in someone's heart. Maybe you trip over a conveniently placed rock -- whatever the cause, you're getting an up close and personal look into someone else's heart.
Welcome to Awash's eighteenth event log, everyone! Further information on this event can be found here at the OOC post. You are welcome to make your own logs and posts for this event!
If there are any questions, please ask them here. Thank you!
[ He breathes in sharp as his hackles are raised a little more. My little white sheep Binghe might have loved me, but what he's going to become is just going to hate me, you fool! All disciples love their masters; that's just downright fact! Well, except for the case of the original goods! But that's the original goods! ]
I didn't want to give up on him! [ Lifting his hand, he is putting it over the man's mouth to shove him back. Stop making this isn't a joke! ]
It was out of my hands at that point! It was either push him down or die! I had a million reasons why it was fine! That if I died, he'd only blame himself! That if I died, who would look after him as a fully awakened half-demon!? If I died, would he be blamed for it! But they were all just pittling excuses to choose my life over his!
[ Right! He can't deny it! He can't deny it, and going to make him understand! ]
It wasn't fine! I should have chosen the second option!
[ Pushed back with a hand over his mouth, he stumbles with his arms flailing, again theatrically. Then he makes a show of straightening his clothes and running his fingers through his ponytail as Shen Qingqiu speaks.
...
But then, at the end, on that last sentence, he freezes. His hands come down and he just stares at Shen Qingqiu for a long while.
Slowly: ]
If that is truly what you regret, not dying for the man... If you wish you had picked the option in which you'd died a martyr, over the option that let the both of you live...
[ His eyes are wide, but it's clear he isn't seeing Shen Qingqiu with those eyes, but some other memory. ]
If that's what you desire, then... I agree with that System. You are detestable.
[ The manner in which he's being stared at -- he gets that he isn't the person being called out. Shen Qingqiu wonders just who Wei Wuxian is seeing, but it doesn't matter! Whatever is in the man's past has nothing to do with his own past! ]
Then I am!
[ As it isn't a true denouncement, the heart merely desaturates the colors of the world slightly. ]
So, we both are allowed to live? So what? He still has to suffer in a place unsuitable for someone so young! He still has to fight and claw his way to learn his new cultivation! He still has no one yet on his side!
[ If he remembers right, Ning Yingying is the first one that will be his first wife! He hasn't come back for her yet. ]
How does the fact that both of us are alive change anything from what he's suffering now!
He shakes his head, to dispel those awful words from his memory. How... how can he make the man understand? Explaining it in words won't work, he feels sure of that. Somehow he has to make Shen Qinqqiu feel it, viscerally. He thinks for a while... and comes up with an idea. It's a risk, but it's worth a try.
He clears his voice and calls out: ]
System! Hey, System! Are you listening? Can you do something for me? Make me look like this Luo Binghe person. Can you do that?
[ All color fades from his face. His eyes widen as he steps back. ...what?! He looks towards the box that sudden pops up. But then he realizes that this is his heart that is set on roasting him! If the person asks for something that would make Shen Qingqiu happy or at ease, it wouldn't give it.
But having Wei Wuxian take Luo Binghe's appearance wouldn't make him happy. ]
[ Aaaaaaaaaa that look of horror, now that's a good sign. Even if he knows there's someone else behind the Luo Binghe mask, he still won't be able to control his feelings. Now... now how did that disciple speak? How did he act? Probably it's not necessary to do a perfect imitation, to get the effect he's looking for, but the closer the approximation, the better.
...
Okay, he's got this. ]
Shizun...
[ He puts on a helpless, miserable expression. ]
Shizun... I overheard what you were talking about. Shizun, this... this unworthy disciple doesn't want his teacher to die!
[ Great big tears would be helpful here. He can't quite summon them on command, but he can blink hard and brush "nothing" away with his sleeve. ]
[ The pale shade somehow worsens. His head lightly shakes as he attempts to school his expression back to something cold and elegant, but can't quite get it to do so.
He lifts his hand like he may attempt to strike him, but he can't. Even if it is just a mask, he can't bring himself to do it. This--! Instead, he reaches to set his hands on his shoulders. ]
Don't ... don't do this!
[ How embarrassing. I have to beg him not to troll me like this! This words in his head are trying to make light of the situation, but he can tell by the tone of them that he's being stretched thin. ]
[ "Luo Binghe's" features flinch at being scolded. ]
This disciple is sorry! This disciple doesn't know what he did! This disciple... Shizun says he's going to do terrible things. If... if one of has to die...
[ His lower lip trembles. ]
...then let it be this disciple instead! All that I am, I owe to you!
[ All that he is? Is he serious? He only taught a little! Putting it like that is ridiculous! He's the protagonist, after all! Didn't he have the Dream Demon to help him along? In comparison, what has Shen Qingqiu really done!
He grips onto "his" shoulders, he shakes his head. Ah, he really is falling apart here. How unsightly and unseemly. So embarrassing. A detached and clinical view of things that sounds so quiet among his other raging thoughts. ]
This old man has lived a long time. How long has Binghe lived, huh?! Die for me? Aren't you a few years too early to saying such a thing! [ He still collapses to his knees. ] Don't say things like that so easily. I already knew you would die for me. But you have to be the one to live.
[ He falls to his knees as well, wrapping his arms about the man's shoulders in a tight embrace. ]
This disciple... will go to the Endless Abyss. This unworthy, talentless disciple will work hard and learn what he must. If it means that Shizun can live, too, this disciple will do anything. Only please, please!
[ HIs grip tightens. He buries his face in the crook of Shen Qingqiu's neck. ]
Please be there for me when I return. Please Shizun, please don't die! Please! This disciple loves you, please don't leave me all alone!
He tries to tell himself that much, but hearing his voice and seeing his image. He definitely feels like his heart is out to troll, roast, and put his ass on a spit with Wei Wuxian helping out!
Shen Qingqiu wants to talk to someone about this script! He wants to say that he doesn't want to be seen in such a humiliating light. The fact that he is easily getting tricked when he knows that he's getting tricked! It's the worst! It's the worst possible feeling in the world. He uses all his jokes, all his humor, everything to cover up his feelings.
But he is in his heart. The damn sky is even against him as it starts to rain. Who is crying! I'm not! His expression remains unbroken in that respect even as he is looking up at "Luo Binghe" with a face that might as well have a trail of tears running down both eyes. The worst. The worst! ]
... I wouldn't leave Binghe alone. I'll wait until you return.
[ When he hears the rain begin to fall, he thinks to himself, talk about watering your heart with tears... Shen Qingqiu, you really are dramatic! Hahahaha! ]
[ Haha, success! He feels extremely satisfied right now! He's finally gotten through to this great big idiot, about how absolutely detestable self-sacrifice is, to the people being sacrificed for. ]
Something's not quite right here. It can't be that easy. And they're still in his heart. Something about that turn of phrase is making him suspicious. He reaches out to stroke Shen Qingqiu's dampened hair. ]
After I return... we'll be together, right? You won't try to leave me again? We'll be together forever as immortals, right? Right?
Watering a cucumber. Come on, heart. Let me live. He lifts his head just a little as his hair is stroked. His smile is humorless, because that isn't quite how he thought it would go. Saying it aloud! It makes me sound like one big, trembling M! ]
No. I'll stay with you. I'm the one that did everything so it wouldn't be right to not wait. [ He'll accept it, okay!? He'll accept that, too, without running away! ] Killing an immortal is really hard work. I kind of hope that it won't be forever, but I'll still ... so long as Binghe won't take that anger out on others... because people will get the wrong idea and think that you're a threat, ah?
[ He visibly relaxes when he hears Shen Qingqiu say he'll stay. Poor man. What a fragile heart he possesses. To sincerely wish for death rather than hurting someone he cares about... to rain literal tears in his own heart...
This isn't the face you present to the world, A-Qiu. But now I know your secrets.
In other words, Shen Qingqiu is someone who needs to be carefully looked after. He smiles, still patting that damp hair... ]
This... this disciple doesn't understand. [ Nor does the person who's playing him!!! ] Why this talk of killing? Killing immortals? Does Shizun think I'm going to...
[ He puts on a hurt face, and it's not entirely acting, because hasn't he been doing a good job here? What madness are you spouting, A-Qiu? ]
For his white sheep Luo Binghe, he would surely sacrifice his life for him! For the blackened lotus that is coming for his life, he wishes to retire somewhere far off in the mountains but that's not taking any blame for having caused the problem in the first place! ]
Not of you... not of you as you are now. Shizun would never be afraid of you as you are now. [ Even if he's saying to a mask, he can't let that be thought of! His little sheep is someone that he loves and isn't a terror, okay?! ] The person you become won't be so forgiving to me.
[ He sits back so that he can lightly hold "Binghe's" face. ] But even so, this teacher still will greet that person, too. We will come to an understanding. Still that understanding should be just through me and no one else. [ As cowardly as he feels, he gathers his strength to decide upon his future actions. The blackened protagonist. I'm terrified! But, but I'm deciding on this!! ]
For Binghe, I will wait instead of die... For Binghe, I will meet the person he will become and accept any anger he may have. [ People shouldn't have to clean up my mistake, okay?! ]
Hahahahaha! A-Qiu, A-Qiu! Don't worry! You'll be fine! All you have to do is show him what a sweet, tender-hearted fool you are, and all of his anger will melt right away! Hahahaha!
[ He can't help it anymore, and falls out of their kneeling, huddled embrace and rolls around on the wet ground, holding himself and laughing. ]
[ That fit of giggles is seriously enough to sober him up! Oh my god! Oh my god! I said all of that! I didn't realize I was so weak-willed! I even knew it was him! I knew it! ]
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ouch is one of the most intimate, romantic ways to be close to someone else. The Town knows this very well -- the Town wants everyone to be as close as possible.
no subject
[ He breathes in sharp as his hackles are raised a little more. My little white sheep Binghe might have loved me, but what he's going to become is just going to hate me, you fool! All disciples love their masters; that's just downright fact! Well, except for the case of the original goods! But that's the original goods! ]
I didn't want to give up on him! [ Lifting his hand, he is putting it over the man's mouth to shove him back. Stop making this isn't a joke! ]
It was out of my hands at that point! It was either push him down or die! I had a million reasons why it was fine! That if I died, he'd only blame himself! That if I died, who would look after him as a fully awakened half-demon!? If I died, would he be blamed for it! But they were all just pittling excuses to choose my life over his!
[ Right! He can't deny it! He can't deny it, and going to make him understand! ]
It wasn't fine! I should have chosen the second option!
no subject
...
But then, at the end, on that last sentence, he freezes. His hands come down and he just stares at Shen Qingqiu for a long while.
Slowly: ]
If that is truly what you regret, not dying for the man... If you wish you had picked the option in which you'd died a martyr, over the option that let the both of you live...
[ His eyes are wide, but it's clear he isn't seeing Shen Qingqiu with those eyes, but some other memory. ]
If that's what you desire, then... I agree with that System. You are detestable.
no subject
Then I am!
[ As it isn't a true denouncement, the heart merely desaturates the colors of the world slightly. ]
So, we both are allowed to live? So what? He still has to suffer in a place unsuitable for someone so young! He still has to fight and claw his way to learn his new cultivation! He still has no one yet on his side!
[ If he remembers right, Ning Yingying is the first one that will be his first wife! He hasn't come back for her yet. ]
How does the fact that both of us are alive change anything from what he's suffering now!
no subject
He shakes his head, to dispel those awful words from his memory. How... how can he make the man understand? Explaining it in words won't work, he feels sure of that. Somehow he has to make Shen Qinqqiu feel it, viscerally. He thinks for a while... and comes up with an idea. It's a risk, but it's worth a try.
He clears his voice and calls out: ]
System! Hey, System! Are you listening? Can you do something for me? Make me look like this Luo Binghe person. Can you do that?
no subject
〖 Understood!（＾ω＾） 〗
[ All color fades from his face. His eyes widen as he steps back. ...what?! He looks towards the box that sudden pops up. But then he realizes that this is his heart that is set on roasting him! If the person asks for something that would make Shen Qingqiu happy or at ease, it wouldn't give it.
But having Wei Wuxian take Luo Binghe's appearance wouldn't make him happy. ]
〖 Appearance fully uploaded. Please enjoy! (ㆁᴗㆁ✿) 〗
[ Looking every bit that he's seeing a ghost, he wants to take ten -- or twenty! -- steps away from the man in front of him. ] What are you doing.
no subject
...
Okay, he's got this. ]
Shizun...
[ He puts on a helpless, miserable expression. ]
Shizun... I overheard what you were talking about. Shizun, this... this unworthy disciple doesn't want his teacher to die!
[ Great big tears would be helpful here. He can't quite summon them on command, but he can blink hard and brush "nothing" away with his sleeve. ]
no subject
He lifts his hand like he may attempt to strike him, but he can't. Even if it is just a mask, he can't bring himself to do it. This--! Instead, he reaches to set his hands on his shoulders. ]
Don't ... don't do this!
[ How embarrassing. I have to beg him not to troll me like this! This words in his head are trying to make light of the situation, but he can tell by the tone of them that he's being stretched thin. ]
no subject
This disciple is sorry! This disciple doesn't know what he did! This disciple... Shizun says he's going to do terrible things. If... if one of has to die...
[ His lower lip trembles. ]
...then let it be this disciple instead! All that I am, I owe to you!
no subject
[ All that he is? Is he serious? He only taught a little! Putting it like that is ridiculous! He's the protagonist, after all! Didn't he have the Dream Demon to help him along? In comparison, what has Shen Qingqiu really done!
He grips onto "his" shoulders, he shakes his head. Ah, he really is falling apart here. How unsightly and unseemly. So embarrassing. A detached and clinical view of things that sounds so quiet among his other raging thoughts. ]
This old man has lived a long time. How long has Binghe lived, huh?! Die for me? Aren't you a few years too early to saying such a thing! [ He still collapses to his knees. ] Don't say things like that so easily. I already knew you would die for me. But you have to be the one to live.
no subject
This disciple... will go to the Endless Abyss. This unworthy, talentless disciple will work hard and learn what he must. If it means that Shizun can live, too, this disciple will do anything. Only please, please!
[ HIs grip tightens. He buries his face in the crook of Shen Qingqiu's neck. ]
Please be there for me when I return. Please Shizun, please don't die! Please! This disciple loves you, please don't leave me all alone!
no subject
He tries to tell himself that much, but hearing his voice and seeing his image. He definitely feels like his heart is out to troll, roast, and put his ass on a spit with Wei Wuxian helping out!
Shen Qingqiu wants to talk to someone about this script! He wants to say that he doesn't want to be seen in such a humiliating light. The fact that he is easily getting tricked when he knows that he's getting tricked! It's the worst! It's the worst possible feeling in the world. He uses all his jokes, all his humor, everything to cover up his feelings.
But he is in his heart. The damn sky is even against him as it starts to rain. Who is crying! I'm not! His expression remains unbroken in that respect even as he is looking up at "Luo Binghe" with a face that might as well have a trail of tears running down both eyes. The worst. The worst! ]
... I wouldn't leave Binghe alone. I'll wait until you return.
1/4
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Tenderly: ]
Don't cry, Shizun.
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wait.
Something's not quite right here. It can't be that easy. And they're still in his heart. Something about that turn of phrase is making him suspicious. He reaches out to stroke Shen Qingqiu's dampened hair. ]
After I return... we'll be together, right? You won't try to leave me again? We'll be together forever as immortals, right? Right?
no subject
Watering a cucumber. Come on, heart. Let me live. He lifts his head just a little as his hair is stroked. His smile is humorless, because that isn't quite how he thought it would go. Saying it aloud! It makes me sound like one big, trembling M! ]
No. I'll stay with you. I'm the one that did everything so it wouldn't be right to not wait. [ He'll accept it, okay!? He'll accept that, too, without running away! ] Killing an immortal is really hard work. I kind of hope that it won't be forever, but I'll still ... so long as Binghe won't take that anger out on others... because people will get the wrong idea and think that you're a threat, ah?
1/3
This isn't the face you present to the world, A-Qiu. But now I know your secrets.
In other words, Shen Qingqiu is someone who needs to be carefully looked after. He smiles, still patting that damp hair... ]
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[ He puts on a hurt face, and it's not entirely acting, because hasn't he been doing a good job here? What madness are you spouting, A-Qiu? ]
Is Shizun afraid of me?
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For his white sheep Luo Binghe, he would surely sacrifice his life for him! For the blackened lotus that is coming for his life, he wishes to retire somewhere far off in the mountains but that's not taking any blame for having caused the problem in the first place! ]
Not of you... not of you as you are now. Shizun would never be afraid of you as you are now. [ Even if he's saying to a mask, he can't let that be thought of! His little sheep is someone that he loves and isn't a terror, okay?! ] The person you become won't be so forgiving to me.
[ He sits back so that he can lightly hold "Binghe's" face. ] But even so, this teacher still will greet that person, too. We will come to an understanding. Still that understanding should be just through me and no one else. [ As cowardly as he feels, he gathers his strength to decide upon his future actions. The blackened protagonist. I'm terrified! But, but I'm deciding on this!! ]
For Binghe, I will wait instead of die... For Binghe, I will meet the person he will become and accept any anger he may have. [ People shouldn't have to clean up my mistake, okay?! ]
1/2
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Hahahahaha! A-Qiu, A-Qiu! Don't worry! You'll be fine! All you have to do is show him what a sweet, tender-hearted fool you are, and all of his anger will melt right away! Hahahaha!
[ He can't help it anymore, and falls out of their kneeling, huddled embrace and rolls around on the wet ground, holding himself and laughing. ]
1/?
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He reaches his hand out to grab and pull off the Luo Binghe appearance that his heart has decided to torture him with. Okay, ha-ha, joke over! ]
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1/2
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