Who told you so, dilly dilly, Who told you so? ‘Twas my own heart, dilly dilly, That told me so.
ouch is one of the most intimate, romantic ways to be close to someone else. The Town knows this very well -- the Town wants everyone to be as close as possible.
Perhaps that's why this bonding is so...aggressive.
Because you're in for quite the shock on this otherwise peaceful day when you brush against the next person on your path.
Maybe you're going out of your way to touch people. Maybe you've got a terrible urge to just see what's lurking in someone's heart. Maybe you trip over a conveniently placed rock -- whatever the cause, you're getting an up close and personal look into someone else's heart.
Welcome to Awash's eighteenth event log, everyone! Further information on this event can be found here at the OOC post. You are welcome to make your own logs and posts for this event!
If there are any questions, please ask them here. Thank you!
[ Eight hundred years.... A low breath escapes her; if it's truly been that long, then it must be difficult to come back here for him. She doesn't want him to feel any worse than he appears already.
Pyra quickly looks around, noting the tall walls about the city... ] ....Are you... sure you want to leave so soon? [ She isn't trying to convince him to stay. But-- ] If it's been this long since you've seen this place... [ What she wouldn't give to see what she lost after centuries have passed. ]
[Is he sure? He doesn't know the answer to that; or more accurately, he doesn't want to think about it. Surrounded by regrets on all sides, without a safe place to turn to, he takes a moment to close his eyes and just. Breathe.
And once he's done that, he smiles.]
To be honest, I'm not sure how to leave to begin with. I have no complaints if you wish to look around.
[ The problem with Xie Lian is that.... it's hard to tell what he really wants to do. ]
...W-welll... [ She sways for a moment, clasping her hands behind her shyly. ] This is-- this must be somewhere from your world, right? Or someplace like it.
I'd be honored to see your favorite place here, whether that's in this city or-- even up in the mountains.
[The problem here is that he himself doesn't know what he wants to do; he hesitates a moment, finally putting in the effort to spare more than a glance to their surroundings.]
.....The mountain, perhaps? It was quite beautiful, during this time.
[ It might take days to climb that thing though.... ] The mountain it is, then! What is it called?
[ And then she looks around; if this is like any other city, one of the larger roads must be the main paths towards an exit. Onward! ]
You don't think they'll try to tax us on our way out, do you? [ It's a joke, an attempt to lighten the mood! ] Or... wait, [ A smile. ] that usually happens when coming into a town, like an entry fee. [ She's just glad that no one here is bothered by the way she's dressed, ha ha haaaa. ]
Taicang Mountain. It's...where I trained, as a child.
[It's easier to feel calm, with Pyra here; easier to ignore the constant pleas for help, with someone by his side.
He manages to smile a bit at her attempt, though he can't quite muster a laugh.] I'm not sure we could get out through the city gate, regardless--those walls are much higher here than I remember.
[Luckily the mountain appears to be close enough that they don't need to leave town at all, the walls ending abruptly when they reach its side. Wherever they go though, the never-ending throngs of people never seem to thin out at all.]
She brings a hand to her cheek, feeling herself smile broader than usual. For a moment, Pyra loses herself to her imagination where she just can't help but picture him as a little boy playing with a ball or a stuffed animal or-- or other cute things that little humans do! ] You as a child.....
You must have been even more adorable. [ Uwaaaaaa~
No wonder there’s a giant statue of you in the city... The people here adore you. [ Pyra thinks of him like he’s the son she’ll never have!!!
But wait, wait, they should be focusing on the task at hand! Onward.
She’ll walk with him to the small mountain and along its paths with him, taking in the sights. ] It’s beautiful here... you must have loved living here.
...They did, once. [He doesn't say more than that, melancholy seeping back into his features despite the continued smile.
The beauty of the scenery is a great excuse to avoid eye contact though, luckily enough.]
It was my dream to come here, as a child. I begged my parents to let me enter the monastery, and once I succeeded, I rarely ever went home to see them. [They pass by more people as they climb--students carrying water or practicing acrobatics, commoners praying by the roadside or walking up to the temple up ahead. His gaze stops at that temple for a good, long while.]
[ She glances back at him when his tone turns more reflective, picking up the sorrow through his smile. Ah-- maybe... this place isn't the right place he should be, even if he says it is his favorite. Maybe she got something wrong within urging him to show her, when she thought it might be something good for anyone to revisit a home that no longer exists.... ]
And you... can't, now? [ She asks him quietly, inquisitively. Surely as a god he has even more power than what he had as a mortal.
The temple is impressive, but what is more amazing is how many people are there, from students to practitioners and commoners alike. So, why did he mention that the people here only once did adore him-- as in, they do not now? ] I doubt these people here would have forgotten you so easily...
They didn't forget. [He looks out at the people, all kneeling on hard ground, praying with unmistakable devotion to the prince's statue towering over them. He'd taken it for granted, once upon a time....
But this isn't the real world. As the people pray, those voiced prayers float up into the air like little lights, each soft, warm glow embedding itself into the statue before them.
With each new prayer, a blood-red flower blooms from its skin, like a beautiful injury, its roots dug deep into the prince's core. One flower, three flowers, fifteen....until the weight of the flowers, or the cracks they've made inside it, finally cause the statue to collapse to the floor.]
[ She watches quietly as the people there kneel and begin to pray, and not knowing any better-- those the gentle lights that rise up from their petitions appear nothing but beautiful to her. Why wouldn't they be? They are their hopes, and she could never think of them as ugly or--..... ]
[ But it's too late to say anything or do anything about it, the way those hopes attach and seem to carve into the statue, as if they were hammering into the very bones of Xie Lian himself. She watches, aghast, as the fissures grow and crack under pressure, until it finally all collapses. ]
I'm.... sorry. [ She says at last the dust settles. Now only a pile of rubble remains, sprinkled with the petals of the flowers atop.
She understands--somewhat, and the visual metaphor helps, that the amount of prayers were too much for him. ] You... took on too much, and you didn't have anyone to help. [ Or was it that he was giving too much? Maybe a combination of both. ]
[He watches silently as the people rise to pull flowers off the rubble, grumbling about promises broken and wishes unfulfilled. None of them move to clean up the mess.]
It was all my fault, in the end--I made promises I couldn't keep, and tried to do things beyond my ability.
[ "It's fine," he says. But she suspects it's just like how he was back at the castle-- the I'm fine, but he's not. ]
...Princes cannot carry the world upon their shoulders. [ She says sadly, watching the people. ] And not even a god. [ The only thing he's at "fault" here was believing he could do this... by himself. ] But-- I told you before, didn't I? That even if you help just one person, it would be the world to them.
[ She chances a glance at his expression before looking back at the rubble. It's as if the weight of the statue still stands over him, upon him, dragging behind his feet. Were these prayers... a burden? Like an obligation he must fulfill. She wonders, then, if it's good to pray to him at all, if it makes him feel like he must fulfill them, if they only weigh him down. ] Are they... heavy, to carry? Those prayers.
[It's funny--he'd become a god in hopes of doing what he couldn't as a prince. "Not even a god can carry their world upon their shoulders"....if only he'd known that all those years before.
He probably would have made the same mistakes regardless. Hundreds of years later, and he still can't stop himself from helping, a lone man in the middle of the battlefield, trampled by both opposing sides at once.]
Prayers are...like a list of tasks to complete. I wouldn't call them heavy, not really; but the more you have, the heavier their burden becomes. [A pause. The temple is empty now, its lights going out one by one, the people all disappeared.] I wanted to carry the world. To save the common people from all the little burdens of their lives.
[ The more you have, the heavier their burden becomes... If she would pray to him again, if there is any chance that her own wishes would become a burden to him, then she'd rather not pray at all. It's as simple as that, seeing how the prayers of those here wrecked that statue of him entirely, symbolic of piling and eroding him, himself.
[ She leaves him briefly to go towards the statue, and when she returns she's carrying one of the flowers in her palm. ] You can help them as much as you can, and you might always want to do more for them. [ She can understand that sentiment. ] ...But perhaps this was a gift in of itself.
[ She holds the flower out to him. ] By having no prayers come to you... you've gave them the ability to make miracles on their own.
[ A pause. ] It's--... close to the feeling that a parent would have, I think.
[ She looks at the flower fondly. ] When you hold a child's hand as they grow up, you want them to stay safe and sound. A little push here, a little divine intervention there; but they needn't be reliant on you, you don't have to shoulder all of their burdens...
And I think that's what you may be forgetting. [ It may have been something like that in her world, perhaps. But then their influence subsided; they became merely observers. ]
Eventually, you want them to be able to stand on their own. [ She looks up from the flower to him, and then... she brings that flower up in one hand, moving so that she might tuck it behind his ear. ]
Maybe it's not them who should pray to you as much... but you who should have more faith in their own strength. [ It seems almost blasphemous to suggest it, but-- ]
A god... praying for his own followers. [ With a whimsical smile, she withdraws her hand from behind his ear, only to move it to the top of his head for a small head pat. ] And I'll pray that you believe in yourself more... mm?
[He watches her walk away, sees the flower she brings back--but it isn't until she reaches up to tuck it behind his ear that Xie Lian actually reacts.
He freezes at her touch, gaze focused downwards, a young man lost amid a sea of worries.
You're wrong, he wants to reply; they left him, but they needed--what was it they needed? There's other gods, but did they ever move on to those gods? They probably did...he barely remembers the days after his fall, months and years blurring into a haze of general despair. There's no way to know, now.
He was never meant to be a god of weather, or medicine, or prosperity. He shouldn't have let them believe he was, shouldn't have convinced himself of it--but which of those came first? Did he ever even think about what his powers could do, back then? He'd simply answered when they called, regardless of the prayer, regardless of his own limitations.
But it's also true that...not everyone died. Despite everything, despite his hubris, the fall of the kingdom, the loss of his family--there were still others left to keep living.
[After that long silence, he finally lets out a quiet, tired huff, almost but not quite a laugh.]
...You're really much smarter than I am. But I suppose that's why I'm a martial god, isn't it? [He solves problems with his instinct, not his brain. The thought gets a smile out of him, though it's still more self-deprecating than anything, shoulders sagging as he gives in to...whatever it is he's feeling now.
He's giving in to her headpat, that's it.]
I've learned myself how strong humanity is, over the years--how brave, and how kind, and how cruel they can be. And I do try to help them when I can, even if it doesn't amount to much in the long run. But I don't...know if I'm strong enough to do that. To believe in myself.
[He closes his eyes again, a long, tired sigh, the sigh of someone who's been holding in his worries for 800 years.]
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ouch is one of the most intimate, romantic ways to be close to someone else. The Town knows this very well -- the Town wants everyone to be as close as possible.
no subject
Pyra quickly looks around, noting the tall walls about the city... ] ....Are you... sure you want to leave so soon? [ She isn't trying to convince him to stay. But-- ] If it's been this long since you've seen this place... [ What she wouldn't give to see what she lost after centuries have passed. ]
Look how happy everyone is here.
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And once he's done that, he smiles.]
To be honest, I'm not sure how to leave to begin with. I have no complaints if you wish to look around.
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...W-welll... [ She sways for a moment, clasping her hands behind her shyly. ] This is-- this must be somewhere from your world, right? Or someplace like it.
I'd be honored to see your favorite place here, whether that's in this city or-- even up in the mountains.
no subject
[The problem here is that he himself doesn't know what he wants to do; he hesitates a moment, finally putting in the effort to spare more than a glance to their surroundings.]
.....The mountain, perhaps? It was quite beautiful, during this time.
no subject
[ And then she looks around; if this is like any other city, one of the larger roads must be the main paths towards an exit. Onward! ]
You don't think they'll try to tax us on our way out, do you? [ It's a joke, an attempt to lighten the mood! ] Or... wait, [ A smile. ] that usually happens when coming into a town, like an entry fee. [ She's just glad that no one here is bothered by the way she's dressed, ha ha haaaa. ]
no subject
[It's easier to feel calm, with Pyra here; easier to ignore the constant pleas for help, with someone by his side.
He manages to smile a bit at her attempt, though he can't quite muster a laugh.] I'm not sure we could get out through the city gate, regardless--those walls are much higher here than I remember.
[Luckily the mountain appears to be close enough that they don't need to leave town at all, the walls ending abruptly when they reach its side. Wherever they go though, the never-ending throngs of people never seem to thin out at all.]
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She brings a hand to her cheek, feeling herself smile broader than usual. For a moment, Pyra loses herself to her imagination where she just can't help but picture him as a little boy playing with a ball or a stuffed animal or-- or other cute things that little humans do! ] You as a child.....
You must have been even more adorable. [ Uwaaaaaa~
(Sorry, you were saying??) ]
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Er, haha, I suppose I was! People did say I was attractive, growing up.
[The fact he's still attractive is something he knows perfectly well, having used it to his advantage on more than one occasion, but.
...Anyway, the scenery sure is beautiful! Gigantic orchard and mountain springs and all.]
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But wait, wait, they should be focusing on the task at hand! Onward.
She’ll walk with him to the small mountain and along its paths with him, taking in the sights. ] It’s beautiful here... you must have loved living here.
[ Or, so she hopes. ]
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The beauty of the scenery is a great excuse to avoid eye contact though, luckily enough.]
It was my dream to come here, as a child. I begged my parents to let me enter the monastery, and once I succeeded, I rarely ever went home to see them. [They pass by more people as they climb--students carrying water or practicing acrobatics, commoners praying by the roadside or walking up to the temple up ahead. His gaze stops at that temple for a good, long while.]
...I thought I could do anything, back then.
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And you... can't, now? [ She asks him quietly, inquisitively. Surely as a god he has even more power than what he had as a mortal.
The temple is impressive, but what is more amazing is how many people are there, from students to practitioners and commoners alike. So, why did he mention that the people here only once did adore him-- as in, they do not now? ] I doubt these people here would have forgotten you so easily...
no subject
But this isn't the real world. As the people pray, those voiced prayers float up into the air like little lights, each soft, warm glow embedding itself into the statue before them.
With each new prayer, a blood-red flower blooms from its skin, like a beautiful injury, its roots dug deep into the prince's core. One flower, three flowers, fifteen....until the weight of the flowers, or the cracks they've made inside it, finally cause the statue to collapse to the floor.]
I overestimated myself.
1/3
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At least, not until now. ] Ah--
[ But it's too late to say anything or do anything about it, the way those hopes attach and seem to carve into the statue, as if they were hammering into the very bones of Xie Lian himself. She watches, aghast, as the fissures grow and crack under pressure, until it finally all collapses. ]
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I'm.... sorry. [ She says at last the dust settles. Now only a pile of rubble remains, sprinkled with the petals of the flowers atop.
She understands--somewhat, and the visual metaphor helps, that the amount of prayers were too much for him. ] You... took on too much, and you didn't have anyone to help. [ Or was it that he was giving too much? Maybe a combination of both. ]
no subject
[He watches silently as the people rise to pull flowers off the rubble, grumbling about promises broken and wishes unfulfilled. None of them move to clean up the mess.]
It was all my fault, in the end--I made promises I couldn't keep, and tried to do things beyond my ability.
no subject
...Princes cannot carry the world upon their shoulders. [ She says sadly, watching the people. ] And not even a god. [ The only thing he's at "fault" here was believing he could do this... by himself. ] But-- I told you before, didn't I? That even if you help just one person, it would be the world to them.
[ She chances a glance at his expression before looking back at the rubble. It's as if the weight of the statue still stands over him, upon him, dragging behind his feet. Were these prayers... a burden? Like an obligation he must fulfill. She wonders, then, if it's good to pray to him at all, if it makes him feel like he must fulfill them, if they only weigh him down. ] Are they... heavy, to carry? Those prayers.
no subject
He probably would have made the same mistakes regardless. Hundreds of years later, and he still can't stop himself from helping, a lone man in the middle of the battlefield, trampled by both opposing sides at once.]
Prayers are...like a list of tasks to complete. I wouldn't call them heavy, not really; but the more you have, the heavier their burden becomes. [A pause. The temple is empty now, its lights going out one by one, the people all disappeared.] I wanted to carry the world. To save the common people from all the little burdens of their lives.
But I failed to save a single one.
1/4
Uncertainty flickers across her expression.
But then... ]
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...Somehow, I doubt that.
[ She leaves him briefly to go towards the statue, and when she returns she's carrying one of the flowers in her palm. ] You can help them as much as you can, and you might always want to do more for them. [ She can understand that sentiment. ] ...But perhaps this was a gift in of itself.
[ She holds the flower out to him. ] By having no prayers come to you... you've gave them the ability to make miracles on their own.
no subject
[ She looks at the flower fondly. ] When you hold a child's hand as they grow up, you want them to stay safe and sound. A little push here, a little divine intervention there; but they needn't be reliant on you, you don't have to shoulder all of their burdens...
And I think that's what you may be forgetting. [ It may have been something like that in her world, perhaps. But then their influence subsided; they became merely observers. ]
no subject
Maybe it's not them who should pray to you as much... but you who should have more faith in their own strength. [ It seems almost blasphemous to suggest it, but-- ]
A god... praying for his own followers. [ With a whimsical smile, she withdraws her hand from behind his ear, only to move it to the top of his head for a small head pat. ] And I'll pray that you believe in yourself more... mm?
1/2?
He freezes at her touch, gaze focused downwards, a young man lost amid a sea of worries.
You're wrong, he wants to reply; they left him, but they needed--what was it they needed? There's other gods, but did they ever move on to those gods? They probably did...he barely remembers the days after his fall, months and years blurring into a haze of general despair. There's no way to know, now.
He was never meant to be a god of weather, or medicine, or prosperity. He shouldn't have let them believe he was, shouldn't have convinced himself of it--but which of those came first? Did he ever even think about what his powers could do, back then? He'd simply answered when they called, regardless of the prayer, regardless of his own limitations.
But it's also true that...not everyone died. Despite everything, despite his hubris, the fall of the kingdom, the loss of his family--there were still others left to keep living.
They needn't be reliant on you.]
2/3
...You're really much smarter than I am. But I suppose that's why I'm a martial god, isn't it? [He solves problems with his instinct, not his brain. The thought gets a smile out of him, though it's still more self-deprecating than anything, shoulders sagging as he gives in to...whatever it is he's feeling now.
He's giving in to her headpat, that's it.]
I've learned myself how strong humanity is, over the years--how brave, and how kind, and how cruel they can be. And I do try to help them when I can, even if it doesn't amount to much in the long run. But I don't...know if I'm strong enough to do that. To believe in myself.
[He closes his eyes again, a long, tired sigh, the sigh of someone who's been holding in his worries for 800 years.]
3's a good number
If you're willing to pray for me though....I'll do my best to believe. However hard it is.
1/3 is a good number
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