[ Even as he says so, his voice is soft and breaking. He does not fight against the hug; his shoulders drop as his exhaustion seems to all but radiate off of him now. Not like it was not before. He blinks, and feels like he may start crying, but he tells himself it is because she's crying for him. ]
You don't understand. [ How can you still see me as a saint? Really? Is your brain filled with water? There is little venom in his thoughts. There is little fight left in him to have any anger about misunderstandings. ] Luo Binghe suffered even before he came to me. Everything has been constantly unfair for him. He was always brought to ruin by everyone around him.
Yet he finally had a master that was kind to him. He finally had a chance to believe that the world would not be so heartless and thoughtless to him and his suffering ... to the suffering of others. [ Indeed, no matter what his disciple held onto his optimism and hope that as soon as he became a high-grade cultivator that he could save others. He breathes out, sounding ruined in such a breath. ]
I betrayed his trust and that hope in the world. Don't you understand? [ He implores her to see the truth of everything. ] Whatever sins that he does... they are my sins. Whatever he does now, it is my own fault. If I was going to be cruel at the end, if I was going to cast him away, I should have just cast him away from the start.
[ He repeats what the older Binghe said. Yes, if he was just going to be cruel, he should have never been kind. ]
And more than that... acting friendly with everyone... saying I will return color... all those things... when I have caused only trouble for everyone around me! You can't just remain blind to these things forever. You'll only end up hurt. [ His gaze shifts to her arm. ]
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[ Even as he says so, his voice is soft and breaking. He does not fight against the hug; his shoulders drop as his exhaustion seems to all but radiate off of him now. Not like it was not before. He blinks, and feels like he may start crying, but he tells himself it is because she's crying for him. ]
You don't understand. [ How can you still see me as a saint? Really? Is your brain filled with water? There is little venom in his thoughts. There is little fight left in him to have any anger about misunderstandings. ] Luo Binghe suffered even before he came to me. Everything has been constantly unfair for him. He was always brought to ruin by everyone around him.
Yet he finally had a master that was kind to him. He finally had a chance to believe that the world would not be so heartless and thoughtless to him and his suffering ... to the suffering of others. [ Indeed, no matter what his disciple held onto his optimism and hope that as soon as he became a high-grade cultivator that he could save others. He breathes out, sounding ruined in such a breath. ]
I betrayed his trust and that hope in the world. Don't you understand? [ He implores her to see the truth of everything. ] Whatever sins that he does... they are my sins. Whatever he does now, it is my own fault. If I was going to be cruel at the end, if I was going to cast him away, I should have just cast him away from the start.
[ He repeats what the older Binghe said. Yes, if he was just going to be cruel, he should have never been kind. ]
And more than that... acting friendly with everyone... saying I will return color... all those things... when I have caused only trouble for everyone around me! You can't just remain blind to these things forever. You'll only end up hurt. [ His gaze shifts to her arm. ]