awashlogs | It's Free RP Estate (open)

Entry tags:

It's Free RP Estate (open)

WHO: Emil and yall
WHERE: primarily Setting Things On Fire In The Woods
WHEN: February
WHAT: Emil Sets Trees On Fire And You Can Help Him, and miscellany
WARNINGS: tree burning?

I. somebody call 9-1-1 shawty fire burning on the dance floor
["Push back the encroaching woods," the quest says, and Emil is more excited than he's been since waking up in this dumb coloring book town. This thing he can do, and how— It's literally his job! He gets paid to do this specific thing!

And let's be real - a forest full of monsters that moves around on its own really deserves to be set on fire every now on then. Emil is just one young man with a flamethrower, but what he lacks in unlimited fuel he makes up for with enthusiasm and... style? Maybe something like style; if he had his myriad explosives this would be a lot faster, but he'll just have to improvise in order to save his fuel.

So basically, Emil is going to start this quest by himself whether or not anyone comes to join him, but it's not like Tiny Boy With Fire Gun is hard to miss... he is setting things on fire very, very efficiently after all. You might find him:

A. actually using the flamethrower to torch some roots creeping into town, maaaybe too close to your house for comfort,

B. stomping on roots and low-hanging branches to make a nice pile of kindling for himself, or,

C. taking huge chunks of said kindling, lighting one end, and chucking them as hard as he can into the mass of slowly approaching trees. Let nobody say Emil can't throw, because he has a pretty good arm on him for such a tiny dude.

Let's Set Things On Fire]

II. a bonus one for whatever, maybe chocolates
[If you want to choco-quest with me just hmu??? Emil is red so this is going nowhere without a blue involved at some point, but he's going to Goddamn Try.

Or: he's going to get fussy about whatever insane fairy tale mission he's given to get the last "ingredient," which in his case is the literal mold to pour the chocolate into, and he will be sighing loudly about it for pity. Also, debating whether or not he can just drink this milk he's been given? Can he just quit now, and finally have some delicious milk to drink? It's a serious dilemma.

For the crazy fairy tale mission, he most definitely has a riddle to solve, and he is not at all capable of figuring it out. Please, let him rest.]

HELLOOOO THESE ARE BOTH OPEN ALSO YOU MAY pp me or whatever at

jojoveller

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Another day, another opportunity for Emil to be incredibly dramatic over a tiny thing. Well! Emil can stand there and sigh all he wants; Lalli is right there beside him, yawning and keeping an eye on everything around them while he waits for Emil to figure out what they're supposed to do. He could be napping right now? Or, you know, trying to figure out why getting close to the forest now triggers some particularly nasty headaches, but helping his best friend with this quest is apparently very, very important, so...

So! He is Here, glancing over at Emil to see if any progress has been made—and oh, that expression he sees. Farewell, faint trace of hope.]

...You're stuck. [Dummy!! He leans over a bit, trying to catch a glimpse of this incredibly difficult riddle.] Let me see.

[He's not an all-knower, but how hard can this be!]

[Lalli hanging around for moral support - great! Lalli hanging around to yawn and give him looks like he's a big dummy - not so great. He's having a very hard time here, okay. It's a very difficult and stupid riddle...]

I'm not.

[He's compelled to insist, but he holds out his baffling little piece of paper to Lalli anyway, to show him the riddle suggesting they find... Some Mysterious Object. Behold:

I am transparent, sparkling and shiny.
I am smooth, sleek and stylish.
I am tiny and delicate.
I fit only one fair maiden in the land.
Who AM I?

It sucks. Emil waves the paper around probably before Lalli even has a chance to read it all, because he's bothered!!]

Let's just drink the milk and forget the whole thing.

[Um? Um?? The bit he was able to read made absolutely zero sense, but he still wants to read it in its entirety; it's why he shoots Emil a Look before reaching out to snag his wrist. Boy, bring that back here... or just, you know, let Lalli tug that hand closer to him as he skims through this note. He's going to figure this shit out!

Oooor not, because the riddle somehow makes even less sense when he puts all five lines together. He reads through it once more, brow furrowing, before he sums everything up with a:]

Pfh.

[He releases Emil's wrist, clearly OVER this thing. It's water, obviously, but water isn't just for maidens...]

It's a trick, and it's stupid. [His Expert Opinion.] How much milk is there?

[Um!! Okay then, grabby hands, be like that. Emil resists the sudden urge to keep wiggling the paper when Lalli grabs him, patiently waiting for Lalli to sagely deliver the answer to this dumb riddle...

No? Great, they're on the same page.]

It is stupid. I think there's enough milk for both of us. And it's still cold, even though we're stuck in a terrible hellscape that makes no sense.

[it's magically cold all the time don't @ me mods]

Mm...

[On the one hand, Lalli knows that he and Emil could afford to spend a few minutes puzzling over this riddle; on the other hand, though, cold(!) milk is here and ready to be consumed, and that involves no brainpower whatsoever. Jeez, what a tough call...]

Then we should drink it. Now.

[He says this so decisively, and follows it up with a very expectant look. Where! Is! The Milk! Take him to it at once! It's all about the here and the now, baby... he's a bad quester...]

[Milk Time!! Lalli truly understands everything about Emil's priorities, what a good best friend. Emil looks pleased with himself- like, in a spiting the quest kind of way, because he's a dumbass- and now it's his turn to tug on Lalli's wrist to immediately turn and lead them back toward his house.

Milk! Time!]

I knew you'd understand! The rest of the things we might as well get rid of, I guess? They didn't even give me something to put the chocolate in.

[woosh........ the sound of Emil not getting it]

[A second woosh as it flies right over Lalli's head, because how are you supposed to make chocolate, anyway? He doesn't know. This is just further proof that this quest is DUMB.

Anyway, he puts up with this wrist-holding for few seconds before he twists right out of Emil's grip. He does know the way back to Emil's house, thanks, so he slips his hands into his giant hoodie pocket—that's right, he's wearing it—as he tries to think of what actually... goes into chocolate. Hmm.]

Maybe. [...] What else did you get?

[Thankfully for Emil, Shiho isn't one of those adults who actually gets worried about someone throwing burning stuff into the forest. Instead she has an armful of flamethrower canisters, clearly marked as flammable. If someone is already throwing things......]

Want to try one of these? [She doesn't walk forward since, of course, she doesn't want to get blown up.]

[Flammable, his siren song... He looks around to her when she speaks, half surprised someone actually came over to talk to him while he does this wild thing, but - ah!!

Flammable!!!! Are his eyes sparkling? Maybe so.]

Yes. Where did you get those?

[Seeing anyone so happy about fire does always make her day. Without even a single hint of hesitation, she holds the canister out to him.]

Oh, you know, these things just kind of appear. [From a quest item that she got a while back and she's never found it quite as useful as today.]

[ Being from an isolate island full of sentient gems who don't use technology, you don't see a lot of flamethrowers in your life. None at all, actually. It's needless to say that Phos spends a good amount of time staring at This Boy And His Machine from further back in the area where they'd been hacking at the roots with their sword, completely absorbed in the magic flame action going on here.

That is.. genius. Better run up and tell him so, with no obvious fear of the fire itself as they approach. ]

Hey! How do I build one of those?

[WHOA jeez, don't startle a man while he's waving fire around. Thankfully Emil is... somehow somewhat accustomed to being abruptly startled while holding a dangerous weapon, so he does not accidentally set anyone or any buildings on fire, but he does jump a little. The magic fire stops. He looks around.

Ah??]

What? I don't know.

[Why would he know that thing?? Now his Groove has been thrown off...]

What? [ They parrot back, not too pleased with that answer. ] Then how did you get that thing?

[ Even crazier is the way it just stops torching things when this guy decides for it to. It has to be magic, like Saber's sword that can create fire, yet somehow doesn't look anything like that. They crouch to look at it a little more closely, getting all up in that flamethrower's business and without glancing back to its owner, they continue: ]

The fire seems super useful for getting rid of these roots, so if you know how to make another one we could burn them away twice as fast.

It's mine from home, [he says, like this is obvious and they are clearly not understanding this basic and clear concept... this is HIS fire toy, thanks!!

But jesus, chill!! He makes a noise of protest when they just get up in his space, pointing the flamethrower away from their... whole self?? Please!]

What are you doing? Don't put your face near it!

Oh.

[ It's from his home? That's all he needed to say in the first place. Phos stands back up and takes a gracious step back to give this person and their Fire Toy some space. ]

Sorry, sorry! I just wanted to see how it works. We don't have anything like that where I'm from, but you don't have to worry about burning me or anything. [ Demonstratively, they tap the top of their head with one hand, producing a clink-clink noise. ]

See?

[ assuming he was more concerned about that than like, them breaking the flamethrower. ]

[Emil frowns through this explanation, first confused- surely there can't be this many people (read: 2 he's met, present company included) who come from totally backwards places that have no normal things- then, like...

More... confused?]

Uhhh, what? Are you glass? That sounds ridiculous just to ask.

[Burying someone alive is an idiotic thing to do, which is why Lalli hasn't thought twice about that particular quest—until he's, you know, lying awake at some ungodly early morning hour, unable to fall back asleep because the person above him is snoring very loudly. This isn't a common occurrence? Lalli usually sleeps like a rock, but this particular night... yeah, it's Bad, which is why he's absolutely imagining himself burying Emil in a hole far, far away from his room.

Or he could just... bury him right here! Right now. In a spectacularly petty fashion. That's why he throws the first blanket—the frizz-inducing one—on top of his sleeping friend, anyway, but Emil doesn't wake up... so it just makes sense to add another? And then another. And then another. By the time Lalli reaches for the last blanket he owns, he's not quite as annoyed as he was; he even takes the time to properly tuck Emil in before slipping out of the room to see how many ratty quilts he can find around this boat. He can't sleep, so obviously he should just keep this going for as long as he can!! Maybe he'll even get a reward for this... a free wish...

...Maybe. Anyway, Emil, enjoy slowly roasting to death and/or having a pillow fall right on your face. It's what you deserve.]

[What does Emil dream about when Lalli isn't there?? Who knows, normal boy things, but maybe for the sake of the gag he manages to dream about eating cake again, until he is slowly buried in cake and also it's trying to consume him... suffocating... suffocaking......

Needless to say, Emil has nothing to contribute to this blanket arrangement until he wakes up from a bizarre death-by-cake dream and finds himself-- stuck? Too hot? Getting a static shock every time he wiggles even the slightest amount under this pile of blankets on him? All that and then some, so what is going on--]

Lalli!

[Is this an accusation or a desperate cry for help coming from under this pillow? It's both. Release him!!]

[He's awake! Finally! And he's just going to have to suffer for a second here, because Lalli is going to finish tucking a quilt around this layer of pillows before he leans around to see what the big deal is. Oh... a rogue pillow? This baby...

But he will, of course, come over to lift it from Emil's face—and then stare right down at him. Good morning, sunshine. He's not about to rip apart his hard work because of a bit of whining, so—]

Stop moving.

[He's not DONE, see! Watch him bend down to pick up... a towel? Is that a towel? Yes, because he's officially out of blankets, but it's still going right on top of the pile.]

[Thanks for removing the pillow, at least... Emil is relieved for all of a second, before he realizes Lalli isn't freeing him from his blanket prison? In fact, he's making it worse! What gives!]

What are you doing?

[It's hot!! And he's uncomfortable!! He's still trying to move, but this blanket tomb is pretty thorough, so he's just wiggling. Let him Out. The towel--]

Is that even clean? Don't put anything you want on me!

[Did he pull this towel out of a closet, or did he pick it off the bathroom floor? It's a Mystery, which is why he only shrugs as he tucks it into place. Hmm, yes, he's suddenly feeling much better about being awake at this hour...

But payback aside—he gives Emil a weird look.]

I'm burying you. [Duh? Isn't it obvious?] For the quest? To see if I get a wish.

[He's totally forgetting about the part where it said to bury a loved one alive, but whatever. Just stop moving and let him finish building this blanket mountain, Emil!! Lalli's just going to reach down and gently press his head back against his pillow, because hey... shush...]

[ The house that Tsuna resides in is pretty close to the forest intruding on the town. So when Emil starts to set the trees ablaze with his flamethrower, Tsuna notices the smoke and increase of temperature from his position within the cottage. He runs over to the window once he assesses that the fires is not coming from inside, but outside. He then spots Emil not too far away and starts waving his arms about to get his attention.]

H-HEY! It's too close! It's too close!

[ What would his housemate think when he comes back to see his house in ashes! He has to put a stop to the flames before it gets out of hand.]

[Hmm?? What is this yelling child... Emil has the good sense to take his finger off the trigger before he looks over at the source of the shouting, but like. Well.

He doesn't seem concerned?]

What? No it isn't. Trust me, I know what I'm doing!

[Trust him?! Tsuna knew better than trust a stranger with a flamethrower! And did he really have to do that right outside of his house?!]

Are you some kind of professional, then?

[Maybe this guy has some credentials. Though he's never heard of a licensed professional skilled with a flamethrower.]

Yes, actually!

[Is the Smug in his voice audible from this distance? It should be, because there's a lot of it. It's not every day someone gets to fully appreciate the depth of his professional career...]

Haven't you heard of the Cleansers? This is what we do.

Cleaners?

[Tsuna tilts his head at the unusual occupation. Somehow, a janitor or garbageman comes to mind. Not someone who sets fire to things. He shakes his head, despite how confident the other sounds.]

So...cleaners are responsible for setting fires? I don't see how that's a career?

[Especially something this guy should be so proud of.]

[So they're going on a choco-quest, right? A quest with a riddle-locked ingredient!

But more importantly: don't eat the ingredients we've got?]

If you drink the milk now, I'm not sure we'll be able to make the chocolate properly...there's only so much of it.

[He probably pronounced chocolate wrong.]

[Emil gives him a look in silence... what did he just say... He'll just assume that word was supposed to be "chocolate" and move on, dooming Xie Lian to never pronounce it correctly, ever.]

There's plenty of milk. We could make chocolate milk, is that enough?

[They should not try to make chocolate milk because one of them doesn't know what chocolate is and the other is Emil, but he's already frustrated and so is lazy. They are doomed.]

[What's that look for.....Xie Lian doesn't take offense though, just taking a mental note of how Emil pronounces it instead. He'll get it right next time!!]

Well...would that count? Milk isn't exactly a popular beverage, where I come from.

[Which means chocolate milk sounds even more foreign than just plain chocolate? Whatever they make's probably gonna be a mess.]

[He's learning so much about China, a place that no longer exists... Give him a second to process how to ask this next question, uh, without looking like a complete moron. And maybe sensitively? He doesn't know what bothers other people.]

Do you have anything over there?

[you know, ultimately this is better than his usual]

[Luckily(?) Emil in his head is firmly categorized as a Child, so the rudeness of that question is actually more amusing than offensive.]

Oh yes, we have all sorts of things! Spring rolls, lotus, roast duck, pig feet, chicken soup, scallion cakes, ah...beef? And there's hundreds of different ways to prepare fish, of course.

[Aaand as if on cue, his stomach growls.]

[He's a Child in all ways except in the eyes of the law, so that's fair.]

You eat feet but you won't drink milk? I think we should give up on this stupid quest and make you drink milk instead.

Pig feet can be quite delicious--

[wait did he really just say "give up"

....Then again the last couple quests got him nothing but a vial of blood and a huge misunderstanding, so.]

Well, I. Suppose we could do that. [F quests!] Are you sure you don't want to try to complete this, though?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's Free RP Estate (open)

hmm, i wonder

i got this "riddle" off a teacher website

time to work it into one of your lessons

just cursed enough for me

no subject

no subject

no subject

1C

no subject

no subject

1a

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

the worst blanket fort of all time

this also is just cursed enough, but in a different way

cursed content is my specialty

that's true

no subject

1A

no subject

Sorry Kingdom Hearts kept me away!

no subject

no subject

ii

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject