awashlogs | january catch-all!

[ Ever since them and Lupin became an item, they’ve been agreeing to spending time over at his place with increasing frequency - today is no exception. Sometimes they just need a break from the Lottie and Phos Power Hour. Anyway, they’re the type that’s fine just sitting in silence while they both work on something. They’re studying (they always do this whenever the town gives out monthly quests, or in preparation when things begin to go sour), and he’s… well, they don’t really know. Truth be told, they don’t try very hard to understand what it is he builds or crafts or writes, usually because it has nothing to do with their goals.

However, after sitting in prolonged silence together at his dining room table, they seem to pipe up out of nowhere. ]

Hey. [ They’re not looking up from their book; in fact, their eyes are still moving - an indication that they’re still reading. ] Did you end up getting a wish granted? By that bell.

[ One day, Cairngorm will appreciate his totally cool thief tools!! Although, at the moment, he's just trying to do some damage control on his poor knife. It got really destroyed when he used it to carve that ice wall in the palace; he doesn't even know if he can get it back to a usable condition, honestly, but since nice things aren't exactly easy to come by around here, he has to at least try. Lupin's a chatty sort; if they hadn't spoken up first, he definitely would have.

But they did! Naturally, they have his full attention. He sets down the various pieces of his fancy dagger (safety first), looking over their way. ]

That? No, I didn't. I wasn't sure I wanted to trust this place with something that personal... Looks like I should have, though. Everyone's wishes seem like they're coming true.

[ It's sweet that he immediately gives them all his attention, but they keep their eyes on their book, for now. It's a copy of Cinderella. ]

Hmm. [ They hum in acknowledgment, turning the page. ] I went, but only because Lottie made me.

[ So - he didn't end up making one. They were hoping he would tell them, and then they would have a better idea of something he would want or need than what they've already thought of, but things can't be that simple all the time, can they... under a normal circumstance, they'd be under the same impression; that they don't trust the town to grant them anything useful or good. But their wish being granted makes them think maybe they can use this chance to pay him back, in some small way, for the things he's given them. ]

I thought it'd backfire or not work, but both of ours ended up getting granted. [ A beat. ] Even if it makes no sense.

[ Maybe their reading material's got them thinking about wishes. Lupin rests his cheek in his hand, idly studying their expression. ]

Sense or no sense, you've got the best house in town now. That Lottie's a clever girl. [ or lucky. He's not sure what he would have asked for, but in retrospect, plumbing is definitely a good idea. ] What did you wish for, anyway?

[ the outcome of Lottie's is obvious - Cairngorm's, not so much. He hasn't really pried, but now he's curious. ]

[ They're lucky it's only the interior that changed in their house; otherwise, people not close to them would probably be quicker to catch on to how lucky they have it now. Or, well, how lucky Lottie has it, mostly. ]

My bed. From home, I mean. Somehow, it's here now...

[ They're not gonna think too hard about the logistics there; they're just glad to have their soft fluffy bed back that there's no chance of them destroying. ]

[ the answer makes him snort, amused. ]

Your bed, huh... How very Cairngorm of you.

[ not that he was expecting a window into their soul, but there's something about the simplicity of that request that's funny. Sleeping really is their passion... ]

[ They give him a flat look, scoffing. ]

It was because I was gonna lose the one I already had here if her wish came true. And I don't know what her furniture is like...

[ With her track record, probably covered in weird prints and more aesthetically pleasing than it is functional!! Just facts. ]

Besides, everything else I need, I already have.

[ so what else would they wish for......... ]

[ his judgement of their love for bed is purely affectionate, if the way he leans into his hand and smiles a little wider is any indication, their disdain bouncing right off of him. ]

No, no, there's nothing wrong with being practical. When I hear "wish," I just imagine something a little more fantastic, that's all. Like "I wish I could fly" or "I wish to find true love," that sort of thing.

[ Lupin pauses, briefly. He could ask if Cairngorm really doesn't have any wishes like that - but he has the sense that the answer would only be depressing. They're fighting a war, and they've only just come into their own personhood, on top of that. He doubts they've made any room for dreams in their mind. ]

If it was me... I'd probably have wished for my friends' safety or something like that. But I guess that's probably not one the town could grant anyway.

[ He's right, they don't have any wish like that. It's not something they'd ever consider, at least not yet. To them, it seems silly to wish for something so abstract... ]

I wouldn't count on this place to protect anyone considering it's the reason people get hurt to begin with... [ They lament with a tiny sigh, closing the book in front of them finally. In their view, they should protect Phos and Lottie and him all on their own without the town's help anyway. ] You're the one that needs protection, besides.

[ As far as they know, most of Lupin's friends have demon magic of some sort protecting them, and he knows how hardy the gems are already. He's the normie-est of his friend circle. ]

But I guess you already have everything you need too, then.

[ If he's going to wish for something that abstract, that must be the case... ]

[ he exhales through his nose at the "you need protection" part, but this time, he doesn't offer a complaint, just a dry look and a knowing tilt to his smirk. Lupin's lost count of how many times he's tried to convince them that he can take care of himself - at this point, he's certain this argument will never end. He's also certain it's Cairngorm's way of showing they care, though - so even if it annoys him a little, he thinks he's okay with it going on forever. ]

Not the ones here - the guys back home, [ he corrects nonchalantly; he agrees with Cairngorm's sentiment about the town, anyway, so it's a moot point. ] And I wouldn't go that far. There's plenty of room for improvement around here. Better food, for one thing - that would be nice. Running water, a nice hot soak in a bathtub that doesn't leak, clothes that fit, maybe a convenient clue about how to get out of here...

[ he trails off idly, then sighs, lifting his head up and running a hand through his hair tiredly. ]

I'm pretty far from satisfied. But that's exactly why I've got to keep pressing on.

Edited 2019-01-18 03:39 (UTC)

[ It's good he's okay with it going on forever, because they have no intention of stopping reminding him that he needs to be careful. He forgets too often, or at least, it seems that way, with the way he acts. It comes from equal parts of their caring and stickler side.

Nonetheless, they tilt their head a little at all the things he lists off. All of those things are things they doubt they can figure out how to conjure, firstly because they don't understand some of them, and secondly because they don't trust the town to actually be cool with them trying it. Guess their idea wins over in the end. ]

Well, I don't really know anything about all that, [ They say, quite nonchalantly, before dragging a loose piece of paper on the table they'd brought closer to them. ] But here. Since you liked it the first time...

[ They heard from other people you get a little bit of magic for this quest - and fairy godmothers turn regular items into better ones, right? So after a beat of focus, there's a little puff of smoke where the piece of paper was, and the next thing they know, they're holding onto a picture frame, which they then hold out to him. ]

Another picture of your friends.

[ Except... of course, it went wrong. So the picture is unfortunately a super shady looking post card sized Wanted Poster of none other than Victor Frankenstein, not that they know any difference, or that they even looked at it before trying to hand it to him. He looks... very bad in this photo, and also slightly sweaty. ]

[ this is actually the first time he's seen anyone really do this quest, so his eyes turn into saucers momentarily when he watches Cairngorm, apparently, cast some kind of spell on a piece of paper - his eyes flick from the image to them, silently demanding explanation, until he remembers that other quest about fairy godmothers. ]

-- You can just do that?

[ which, as an answer, isn't wholly satisfying, so he's still expecting some kind of answer from them. Ignoring the shady magic, he (naturally) reaches out to accept the photo, anyway, swiveling it around to be right-side up in his hands before looking at it.

And promptly bursting out laughing. ]

Pfft... Hahahaha!

[ This... this is not the reaction they were expecting. And it shows on their face, too, with the slight twitch in their brow, not displeased, but clearly taken off guard. While he laughs up a storm, they're deadpan as ever, leaning their arms on the table. ]

What are you laughing about....

[ A mutter, before they try to reach over and take the photo back so they can see. Is he laughing at the picture, or at them for procuring it? They were pretty sure this is the kind of thing he would like, based on cold hard evidence and the numerous times he's talked fondly of his friends. Maybe they didn't do it right... ]

Did it not work?

[ "Shouldn't I be asking you that?" is what he replies with in his mind, but he's busy quieting his chuckles; he just shakes his head, setting the image flat on the table. ]

Fran looks awful in this picture - look at him, [ Lupin explains, laughing a little again as he slides the frame towards Cairngorm. ] Where did you get this from? No, scratch that - how did you conjure this up?

[ he understands the intent, he thinks - and it's very sweet - but he really needs to know what's going on here. (He's keeping this picture anyway. Good blackmail material.) ]

I heard the godmothering quest grants you a bit of magic. And a godmother's magic usually turns regular items into special, different ones— but always still similar to the original item. I don't think I could turn a piece of paper into food or clothes...

[ They actually probably could, but their understanding of what godmothers are supposed to do is limited to what they've seen in books like Cinderella. Even if it didn't turn out exactly as planned, it should still clear the quest, and at least he doesn't seem displeased. He even laughed some (which was sort of endearing.) Nonetheless, after peeking at the photo for a quick second, and giving it a disapproving squint, they put their attention back to opening their book again, preferring to be as aloof as possible about this. ]

[ so the explanation really is that simple. It's both intriguing and somewhat troubling that they can so casually be given powers - godlike powers, from his perspective - and have them taken away just as quickly. There are times when Lupin is reminded that he's deeply out of his league here, as positive as he tries to be, and this is one of them.

Or it might be one of them, save for the fact that the gesture is thoughtful enough for him to gloss over the uncanny way it was made. He can worry about all that later; for now, he's delighted by the present's concept, lacking execution notwithstanding. There's still some laughter creasing his eyes as he nods in understanding. ]

So you wanted to give me another picture from home, huh... That would be hard when you've only seen the one I already have. [ it would be, right? He doesn't know how magic works, but Cairngorm probably had to picture it, or something... His smile softens into something a little more genuine, a hint of color coming into his cheeks regardless of the fact that they're back to staring at their book. This is the first present they've ever given him, he's pretty sure. ] I like it. Thanks, Cairn.

[ They want to interject that it's not like they just wanted to give him that out of nowhere, but more like that is the thing that would probably make him happy, and that they had proof that it'd at least please him. But there's not really a point to explaining it when it's already done, and he will probably think of it however he wants to, no matter what they say. All they'd acted on was their knowledge that he doesn't want those friends to show up here, but he does want to go back to them. He misses those people, the ones who make him happy in the real world.

Sighing, they rest their cheek on their hand, keeping their eyes sternly on the page. ]

You're always giving me stuff, so whatever.

I'm serious, you know, [ he adds, with a sort of light defiance - they're trying to play off their being nice again, as usual, but he's determined to have the last word. Even though he knows definitively that they like him, they're still too proud to actually admit to doing nice things for him. It's funny more than anything to Lupin, really - which is why he has no plans to stop teasing them when they do it.

Idly, he taps a nail against the glass, looking at the unflattering image of Dr. Frankenstein below. It'll be somewhat odd to have a single picture of just Fran, of all people, along with his group shot. If there was some way to get pictures of his other friends, he could even things out a little more -- and like that, an idea suddenly strikes him. ]

I wonder if I could get ahold of a camera around here...? Then I could have a picture of you to keep with me. My other friends, too, of course - but you especially.

Edited 2019-01-27 00:10 (UTC)

[ Their brows raise a little at that before they can stop it, looking over at him curiously. They're definitely not going to mention how they hang on to that "especially", stowing it away in the depths of their heart. It's nice to feel special... ]

You want a picture of me? [ They sound faintly surprised, both because they hadn't thought he'd want that, and because the idea of keeping pictures around of people is still strange to them. ] Why? You see me almost everyday.

[ It seemed like the point of pictures were so that people could look at people that weren't currently with them. And in the case that he's referring to having a picture for when he leaves, they obviously don't think he'd have the choice of taking items with him, considering the various mysterious ways people have disappeared from the town. ]

Yeah, I know. But...

[ he shifts, gaze drifting off into space as he ruminates on how to say this. It's a depressing topic, but it's reality. They both know it. Lupin just doesn't want to bring down the peaceful mood. ]

There'll come a time eventually when I can't see you anymore. [ whatever will happen to the two of them at the end of this - he doesn't know. Only the fact that they'll be parted is certain. ] But even if I can't meet you, if I kept a picture of you on me, I could see you whenever I like. A lot of people do that where I'm from - keeping pictures of people important to them in their wallets or in lockets. It's a way to stay together, even when you're apart.

[ Ah. So that is what he meant. They move their gaze away from him for a second, back to their hands on the book, keeping their face still. Before he confessed to them, when they'd think about him, how little time they have left would be the only thing on their mind. Gradually, they've been getting distracted from it from time to time, so the reminder stings a little more than normal. ]

You want to do that...? For after, when we're apart.

[ Their tone softens, and their expression does too; sad, but still gentle as they meet his eyes again, slowly. Underneath their question is a faint note of disbelief. It's bittersweet, this notion of him wanting to keep seeing them even after he's made to let go - a part of them thinks that when this is all over, he might move on and forget. But they don't know, so they ask. ]

[ Lupin nods. ]

I do. I want to remember you.

[ it's hard to imagine never seeing them again after spending so long together - even if romance only bloomed between them recently, he's been friends with them since the start. Of course he wants to go home; he can't stay here forever, and there's too much he has to do. He loves his friends, and he misses them. He just loves Cairngorm, too. Having to pick one or the other feels unfair; instinctively, he wants to find a third option, and he's thought about it plenty. However, he can't think of any third option that's actually viable. Should they have the luxury of choosing, they can't go to each other's worlds. Lupin briefly wishes Elizabeth was still here, with her Tears - something like that that would simply allow a visit would be ideal - but that's almost literally wishing for a miracle.

So he'll settle for a photograph. For now, at least. ]

Not that I could forget you. But Chroma - all of this is like some kind of bizarre dream. If I make it home and enough time passes, I might start doubting it was real. [ he lets his gaze sit on them, soft, unrestrained, and he smiles a little smile. ] Whatever happens, I want to be able to see your face and remember this feeling.

[ They're glad they asked. He always knows what to say that will soothe them in some way. It isn't perfect, but for now, it makes them happy just knowing he'll still want to think of them, that they're important enough to him somehow that that's possible.

It's true that sometimes this all doesn't feel real. But it seems more like they're truly here when they're near him - the desire to reach out and hold his hand to ease that feeling crosses their conscience, but they don't act on it. ]

I want to remember it, too.

[ And they will remember this feeling, always, they have no doubts about it - unless they're broken apart or ground up to dust. A thought about the moon and the things Phos described as waiting for them there passes their mind when they consider how they could ever forget him, how they have no way of knowing what's going to happen to them when they go home - they prop up their face with a free hand and close their eyes calmly, obviously deep in thought over it all. There's not exactly anything to look forward to, when they think of going back. That's 75% of why they work nowhere near as hard as he does to look for a way home. Not only does it mean returning to war, but it means leaving him, too. They don't want to do either.

But, it's also not their place to voice these thoughts, and if it is, they don't feel like it. So they bottle it up, shaking their head briefly before opening their eyes again, meeting his smile with a composed expression. ]

I don't know if I'll need a picture for it, though. [ Moreover, protecting a piece of paper in the insanity that their life is - they don't know if it's possible. But the idea is nice. ] Maybe the town will give you another present sometime. They seem to know what you want.

[ he likes it when they tell him they want something - especially something that has to do with him. Wrenching an admission of their wishes out of them had been a battle, and they'd still done it in a roundabout way. He doesn't doubt their feelings, obviously, but seeing them even a little more comfortable with expressing them warms him. ]

Here I was planning on offering you one of me, [ he replies, amused. Lupin's sure they have their reasons for not being interested in it. (They don't seem like they have pockets, for one thing.) ] Your loss. In any case, I'll keep my eyes and ears open. There's always a chance someone has one from home if the town doesn't feel like being generous with me.

[ until then... well, he'll have to be satisfied with his group photo and this goofy shot of Frankenstein. Maybe after telling them about it, they'll understand more why he finds this gift so thoughtful, failed execution aside. ]

january catch-all!

LUPIN

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