Caramia (
ifionlyhadthecourage) wrote in
awashlogs2018-09-24 08:20 am
Who "Remembers" Things Anymore Forgetting Is All The Rage
WHO: Caramia & co.
WHERE: yeah
WHEN: Memory sharing event
WHAT: Closed prompts that I didn't know how to organize on the event log lmao
WARNINGS: depression/anxiety talk might happen
> Michael
> Minato
> Ochako
> Kyrie
> Saeki
> Okuni
> Val
If you want a starter (or your character's name isn't up here because I forgot we discussed a thread alskfjlg) let me know via
rubiesriot
WHERE: yeah
WHEN: Memory sharing event
WHAT: Closed prompts that I didn't know how to organize on the event log lmao
WARNINGS: depression/anxiety talk might happen
> Michael
> Minato
> Ochako
> Kyrie
> Saeki
> Okuni
> Val
If you want a starter (or your character's name isn't up here because I forgot we discussed a thread alskfjlg) let me know via

Minato
The memory is a bit foggy in general. But there's a lot of people around. And in the midst of them? Kyrie and Caramia, of course.
"But..." Kyrie says, before Minato can even absorb much of his surroundings. "This is a joke... right? How could you forget someone so important? She was here. Longer than some of you have been here, but she was here."
There's a desperation in Kyrie's tone that's certainly new.
"Who was here, Kyrie?" Caramia prompted, followed by something that sounded distinctly like Caramia, only he definitely wasn't moving his mouth. And it was so clear, too, as if listening to one's own thoughts. 'Why can't he just spit it out? He looks so upset, I'm trying to understand why. Can't he see that?'
"Dorothy! How could you?! ALL of you?! She is so important to us. We are so important to her. Don't any of you remember? She-..."
"Kyrie." Caramia hissed. 'He's too hysterical, he's not thinking straight.' "If she's as important as you say she is then I'm pretty sure we would remember. You have to calm down and we can talk--"
"No!" Kyrie snapped, shaking his head. "Don't tell me to calm down! I can't!! This isn't something to be calm about!!! What's wrong with all of you?"
"KYRIE!" Caramia hissed again, though with less 'stern' and more 'anger'. It coerced a startled hiccup from the usually so composed man. "You cannot blame us for something WE DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT! You sitting there and yelling at us for something we can't possibly understand, and expecting us to without ANY sort of explanation isn't fixing ANYTHING!!!!!!"
'How could he say that...? I don't like this. I hate yelling at him. But... how could he SAY that!!!'
Of course, Minato wouldn't be able to hear the thoughts of the other, but unlike the current Kyrie he knew, this one wasn't nearly so intent on hiding his emotions. He teased up, opening his mouth to say something, but all that came out was a choked sound instead. Once realizing he wasn't actually able to get any words out, Kyrie turned away and very quickly made his way away from the crowd.
But hey! Let's not address that weird memory and instead just accept that your not-dad is giving you tiny forehead bumps instead! Huzzah.
Michael
But this would earn Michael a glimpse into a familiar room- one way back from Caramia's portal into an office that lacked significantly in books and guns. There is, however, three people in the room. Caramia himself, Kyrie, and a third person.
"Besides, if I don't want to do it, and this pile of scrap can barely take care of himself, let alone others, that just leaves you," Kyrie gestured to the unnecessarily tall man standing next to them.
"Pile of-?!" Axel interjected, but he merely scoffed it off and faced Caramia instead. "Sans his rude comments, I agree. You are the most suited for this..."
Caramia, however, looked extremely dejected. His posture was slumped and he almost seemed dazed as he stared off into the distance with a rather somber expression. 'I don't like this,' Michael would hear clearly, as if in his own head, without Caramia even opening his mouth.
"I figured you'd be happier about this," Kyrie pointed out, crossing his arms.
"Huh...? Oh. I..." Caramia started, shaking his head slightly. "I know I can do this. I'm not worried about that at all. But I'm not entirely excited about the idea of fighting our friends."
"Well, sitting there and moping about it isn't accomplishing anything. This is how things are going to be now, and you're wrong if you think you can change it. So!" Kyrie stood and headed for the door. "Once you're done sulking, I'll come back so we can discuss this properly."
And he left. Just like that. This made Caramia's mood plummet even more, leaning against the back of his chair. 'He's still mad at me... I don't even know why. Ugh, this is so frustrating. I... I miss Scarecrow.'
'...It's going to be strange for people to start calling me "don" now.'
After this glimpse of the memory passed, Caramia didn't think hardly anything of it, quickly brushing it aside with a: "Have you been taking care of yourself, Michael?"
no subject
This...
This one is hard to watch.
He's aware, at least a little, of how this went down already--he knows about Dorothy, and he knows that Kyrie was really hurt by Caramia's inability to understand. He knows, too, that Caramia had no way of understanding, and Caramia's thoughts during this memory only serve to reinforce it.
It was just...an unfortunate, painful situation. It was nobody's fault--neither of them could help what happened.
... But still, it's painful to see Kyrie lose his composure like that. It's painful to see Caramia so angry, so frustrated. And by the time the memory ends... Minato's eyes are sliding shut, a shaky breath escaping him even as Caramia bumps their foreheads together.
Yeah... he can't just pretend that never happened, sorry.]
...Caramia-san...
Kyrie
The memory opened up to an all too familiar forest, with a familiar girl, dog, tinman and scarecrow, all around a big lion.
“No, but you tried to! Aiming for a poor little dog. You may be big, but you are nothing but a big coward,” Dorothy begins, without much contact to prior, but it wasn't ward to figure out what had happened from here. From here, there's a very clear voice from Lion that sounds just as clear as it might be in Kyrie's own head.
'I shouldn't be so surprised it's that obvious. But... it doesn't hurt any less.'
Definitely not a thought Scarecrow had at the time. So... this must not have been Kyrie's memory at all?
“I-I know it... I’ve always known it. But how can I help it? I’m so scared,” Lion points out, slumping over and avoiding any sort of eye contact.
“Don’t cry. Are you not called the King of the Beasts?” Tinman asked.
“Does that mean Mr. Lion is a king?” Scarecrow asked, and turned to Lion with nothing short of excitement. “Are you even more important than the Great Oz?”
“I-I’m not important at all... I’m definitely not strong enough to be called a king. Everyone just assumes I’m strong, but they’re just scared of me. But the truth is... my body might be scary, but I’m more timid than a lamb,” Lion admitted. 'I'm such a disappointment. I don't need these people having false standards of me-- I'd just disappoint them, too.'
“Everyone says I’m just a useless scarecrow. The King of Beasts should be brave.”
“I know it, but I do not know how.” Lion sulked, pawing his tail to keep himself distracted.
“...Crying again? Dorothy, let us leave the Lion and continue on,” Tinman flatly announced.
“W-Wait. Where are you all going?”
“To see the great Wizard of Oz who lives in the Emerald City,” Dorothy explained.
“I am going to the Great Oz to ask him to give me some brains, and the Tin Man to ask for a heart,” Scarecrow helpfully added.
“Brains and a heart... Brains and a heart... If he can give such unusual things, do you think Oz could give me courage?” There was a hopeful glimmer in the Lion's eyes. It seemed impossible, but it never hurt to ask, right?
“Yes, I’m sure of it. He is a wizard, after all!” Dorothy exclaimed.
“Th-then, if you don’t mind, I’ll go with you..."
“Of course, you will be very welcome, for you will help to keep away the other wild beasts,” Dorothy pointed out.
“Hehe, my appearance is the one thing I have confidence in. Even I feel faint when I see my own reflection in a puddle... Oh, but... are there any scary places we must pass on the way to the city?”
“I cannot say for certain, but there might be such places.”
“R-really?! Aaaah, I do not like to even think of scary things. Just thinking about them makes me cry.”
“Fine, you can stay here and be scared forever. The rest of us will be going.”
“Uuuh, I’ll go! I’ll go. Don’t leave me all alone!”
'Not again, please...!'
Of course, once the memory fades, Caramia's left staring rather dazed and... concerned at a wall. Good luck with that, Kyrie.
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That... was a long time ago. Scusa. [ This wasn't exactly the first time he shared a Not Great Memory, but... ]
It's alright, though. Don't worry about it. [ And there's an unspoken "Don't bring this up to Kyrie" in there somewhere. ]
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hugs are now potentially dangerous!! this is the worst!!
he doesn't know how to sort through everything he just saw there. Kyrie being an asshat about whatever it is seems unfortunately par for the course, but - fighting our friends, what? more to the point, Caramia's a don? like in the mafia?
he's so caught up in it that it takes him longer to answer Caramia's question than it should've done. ]
... oh, uh, yeah, I've been good. [ but-- ] Hey, so - I hate doing this, but are we not gonna talk about whatever that was?
[ it's totally cool if they're not, but! it feels wrong to pretend like he's not just accidentally gotten a glimpse into something that should be private. ]
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The memory had started off fine, really. It's not as if Kyrie hadn't been there after all, and it's not as if it's a memory he hasn't thought about... well, not often, but certainly more often than some, even if just in passing. But there's something decidedly different here, and it has everything to do with--
"Cara...mia..." His name is hardly more than an exhale as Kyrie sounds just as dazed as Caramia looks, his voice hesitant and low like he's still puzzling together what exactly he's just experienced.
It's clear that the memory wasn't his own, but the alternative... that it was Caramia's... It's too much to process, even with his brain. The emotions and thoughts and words that stick to his tongue all rush forward at once until he just... brings one hand up to Caramia's face, slowly but with a determination that outweighs the shakiness of his voice when he speaks again.
"Caramia, you..." remember, he wants to say, with the same desperation that presses gentle in his fingers to try and pull the other's attention back to him. But he knows all too well to guard his hopes in a steel cage, even now. Even with him. And so while he might not say it, the word hangs in the air between them as he tilts his head, seeking... he isn't quite sure. Agreement. Reassurance. Something that will tell him this is real, that Caramia can remember her.
It might be hidden from him somehow, but... they can deal with that, can't they?
no subject
Even though Kyrie's trying to get his attention, Caramia just wasn't having it, as his face twisted into something guilty, or maybe just distressed? He wasn't sure how he should be feeling. Happy that those memories were still there, somewhere, or upset that he still didn't technically remember any of that, and that he'd have to dash Kyrie's hopes once again to explain that.
He... really didn't want to do that. Not when he sounded so damn hopeful. And he never sounded like that. Caramia shivered a bit.
"I... I don't..." He tried, but it wasn't coming out right. He sighed and looked at Kyrie sympathetically. "I'm sorry."
Novel Time! Thanks, Ozmafia
Kyrie's holding his breath, still braced for disappointment, still pleading with whatever god or higher power that may be to let him have this, this one, tiny fragment of something hopeful, so he won't have to rely on a pinprick anymore. And he's already shaking his head when Caramia finally looks to him, but hey, who wants to make this situation even more complicated?? We do! So the moment their eyes meet, Caramia gets a memory of his own, as clear as if it were happening today despite its obvious age.
And the very first thing Caramia will see is a young girl in a blue dress, as she pauses near the fence to a rather large field. She doesn't seem to notice Kyrie at first, until a beat later when he calls out: “Hello, miss.”
“Oh my!" She's quick to rush over, peering up at him with all the wide-eyed curiosity of a child. "You can speak even though you’re a scarecrow?”
“Certainly. Although I am perched up here on this pole, so speaking is all I can do." Sure enough, there's the distinct feeling of having something decidedly unmoving stuck up his shirt--although rather than feel any real discomfort, it just sort of feels like a vague pressure. In fact, there's hardly any pull to it at all, as if he's fairly weightless--the perks of being made of straw! He tilts his head, attention shifting to the little terrier at the girl's feet, playing among the wheat. "How far of a walk are you taking that cute puppy of yours on?”
“I’m not on a walk. I’m on a journey. I’m following the yellow brick road to the Emerald City.”
“To the Emerald City?” He repeats.
“Yes, the Great Oz lives there.” She answers.
“The Great Oz?” ...He repeats, again.
“The Good Witch told me so." Thankfully the girl seems unoffended by his many questions, but still shakes her head as if she can't believe what she hears. "Why, don’t you know?”
“No, indeed. I don’t know anything." It doesn't sound quite as sad as one might expect, almost as if he believes there can be no other answer. "You see, I am stuffed, so I have no brains at all. I can’t think or remember a thing. The crows make fun of me every day.”
“Oh," the girl frowns, "I’m awfully sorry for you..." She turns to look down the road she'd been following, and briefly, he does the same. It's an awfully long, winding road, trailing off into the distance farther than he could ever imagine. Then she speaks again with a bright smile that draws his attention back as quickly as it had left. "Mr. Scarecrow, you could come with me to the Emerald City if you like. I’m sure the Great Oz could give you some brains.”
“Really? The Great Oz can give me brains?”
“I cannot tell for sure, but if Oz will not give you any brains you will be no worse off than you are now. If you stay here, you’ll only have the crows to talk to, right? Why don’t you come with me?” The girl extends her hand up to him. An offer.
He pauses for only a moment, because without a brain, one does very little thinking. He smiles back at her.
“I like that idea. That sounds much more fun than spending time with the crows." He reaches an arm down as best he can to take her hand. "Very well, I’ll join you!”
The memory fades out as their hands meet. Hers is warm through his glove.
Complications!! Like the way the hand at Kyrie's side--the one that had held Dorothy's--closes itself into a fist, as if that might fend off the feeling that remains so clearly there still. But he doesn't move away. He wants to stay close like this, even if it's apparently Weird Oversharing time in Chroma.
"That... that was your memory, wasn't it?" Before, obviously.
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So, you did see that. [ Embarrassing. Admittedly, he's still not sure how this whole memory thing works. He was kind of hoping sometimes he'd just get flashbacks and that was it, but nope! Can't be that easy. ] Sorry... Kyrie's a lot less volatile now then what you saw.
[ Yeah, because that's the part that Michael was concerned about. A+ Caramia. ]
Ochako
Spotting Ochako and pretty immediately scooping her up into a hug grants her a memory: It opens to Caramia's town, along the red bricks of the Oz district, and two children crowding Caramia, who seemed to be trying to calm them down in the moment.
"Come on, grandpa, stay a little longer," one of the kids tugging on his sleeve tried to coerce Caramia into staying.
"Grandpa?" Caramia huffed. "Something like big brother is more suiting, don't you think???"
"No," the kids chimed in unison.
"Definitely grandpa. You're like a billion years old."
"A million billion!"
"A kajillion!"
"Now, that's just mean!!" Caramia exclaimed, putting on a playful pout. 'I'm not THAT old...' a thought lingered, but Caramia very quickly lifted up both the children and hung them upside down in his arms. They wailed in delight, laughing out small "oh no!"s and kicking their tiny legs. "If I were a kajillion, could I do this???"
Congrats, Ochako! Not only do you not get a bad memory, but you get a hug to go along with it! Fun times all around.
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[Caramia didn't choose to share this, so...]
If you really want me to, I'll leave it alone. It's not mine to know.
But... [He is concerned!!]
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I mean, that's great, but not really what caught my attention. [ beat. ugh, this sucks! ] Look - if you tell me to step off, I'll do it, but when were you planning on telling me you're Chroma's Friendly Neighbourhood Godfather?
[ Michael you can't just make Earth references and expect people to get them, have you not LEARNED yet ]
Everything Happens So Much
"Erm, I..." Hey? Maybe don't spring questions like that on him while he's still trying to process everything??? What the fuck. "I think... so? It... felt more like watching a movie than remembering something. How um... How did...?" 'we just see that' was probably going to be the end of that, but he's just baffled staring at Kyrie because What The Fuck.
"...That was... yours?"
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[ Sorry, Michael. Caramia has no idea about that movie. Instead, he just brightens up at the word, almost wide eyed with excitement at him. He's not entirely sure how he got that from the memory he just saw, but... Caramia's not about to look a gift horse in the mouth!! ]
Oi, do you think think of me like that??
[ I'm sorry he's like this. ]
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It's alright, I know you're worried. But that was such a long time ago.
[ It certainly didn't feel like it, admittedly. Then again, there has been a lot of stuff happening lately to make him see that memory in a new light. A... guiltier light. ]
Kyrie was a different person back then.
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[Minato just shakes his head quietly in response, eyes sliding shut.]
I'm not just concerned for Kyrie-san, though. I'm concerned for you too.
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[ Of course, he could probably guess 'why', but he could hold out that maybe something else was bothering Minato, right? ]
Saeki
Saeki was someone Caramia hasn't really talked to, sans the parts from, well, what felt like forever ago, at this point. And that, really, was a shame! He was so much fun to dance with!! So, naturally, when he saw his self-proclaimed friend on his trek through town, he approached him with his usual friendly front. ]
Saeki! [ He'd chirr, delighted for the opportunity to talk. He'd reach out and grab Saeki's hand once he was close enough, as if calling his name wouldn't be enough to get his attention. Instead of a nice conversation, he gets to show Saeki the wonderful world of Oz.
Which, admittedly, doesn't look too much different than Earth does. Not the forests, anyway. Though, the usual sunshine of Oz wasn't here. Rather, there was rain, and the trees didn't provide much, if any shelter from the rain. And in between the trees was the soaked mess that was Caramia, though not his usual bright self. Hell, not even his usual human self. There was a lion. Were it not for the pathetic "Hello?" he called out in a voice that was very distinctly his, it might not have even been apparent that it was, in fact, Caramia.
"Is anyone there?" he tried calling out, then, even softer: "Mama?"
A crack of thunder strikes through any words Caramia might have said after that, earning a startled shriek as he tried to scamper away to the safety of under some tree roots.
'I'm so scared,' he thought. 'Where did everyone go? I don't want to be alone.'
The cowardly lion sniffed, making himself scarce under the tree roots, and just like that, the memory ends. ]
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I know that this has to bother you, Caramia-san. Kyrie-san is very important to you...and it was a hard situation on both of you.
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the good news(??) is, that question successfully derailed Michael from his previous train of thought in a pretty spectacular fashion! ]
What? [ there's a good few seconds where you can hear the machinery of his mind working away, and then - oh. he had actually....... forgotten that that word had another meaning........... ]
Uh. I was actually thinking of the movie, y'know, with Marlon Brando, but-- yeah I guess you've got that fatherly vibe going on too.
[ HE GUESSES?? look, he has two moms and the only dad he comes into contact with IRL is currently a wreck who can't put pants on so...... not many frames of reference to compare to... ]
MICHAEL I'M SO SORRY
And reasonably that means he's getting another hug, though this one more enthusiastic as he hoists him up to spin him around. You've created a monster, Michael. ]
Lo pensi davvero?
rubie i'm LAUGHING this is literally the best way this thread could have gone
[ things Michael was not expecting: this! between that and the fact that Caramia is a lot stronger than he appears at first glance, it's all too easy for him to accomplish this enthusiastic spinning action, in spite of the way Michael jumps in surprise. ]
Sure?! [ WHAT HAS HE WROUGHT... ] I dunno, I mean you're always looking out for everyone and stuff? I don't have a dad, I'm not the best person to ask!
no subject
[ He... thought he lost his best friend then. Anyone would've been bothered by that, to say the least. ]
But I shouldn't linger on the past. Especially not the long ago. I'm happy with how things are now, and I'm looking forward to new memories I can make. With him, of course, but that goes for you and everyone else here too.
He's the worst don't encourage him????
... [ ??? ] You... don't?
[ ...He doesn't have a dad? Well. Michael, you're very good at digging yourself a trench with Caramia, aren't you? This isn't going to fly with Caramia, after all! Not that he needs a dad or anything, but, well, what's the harm in having one? A big ol' mafia don lion dad.
What's the worst that could happen? ]
Well, I mean... In that case, I could be, like... [ You're just gonna embarrass yourself, Caramia. ] a temp dad?
[ Whoop, there it is. ]
i believe it is what we in the business like to call "too late" for that
A what? [ there's a laugh in his voice, reflexive and surprised, except... ] Wait, you're serious?
[ oh man, he is serious, isn't he. ohhh boy. seriously, how is this person apparently a don in some kind of mafia?? a some kind of mafia don that also apparently wants to adopt him?? how is this Michael's life?? ]
How does a temp dad even work? [ beat. ] Hang on, maybe you can put me down first before we carry on having this talk, I can't take either of us seriously like this.
no subject
[He's happy too--he just doesn't want Caramia to keep it all on his own shoulders all the time.]
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goodbye michael
Depends on what you're answer is, I guess. If you say no, then I'm totally joking. [ He puts Michael down at that anyway, giving him the biggest smile he could possibly pull off. Look, it's the best he could offer. Besides! It seems like a good idea (at the time)?
Heck, Caramia wasn't sure himself what a temp dad even really was beyond just a dad that was temporary. Though, everything in Chroma was temporary, probably, right? So just "A Chroma Dad" would've been a fine explanation. ] I'll... figure that out in the meantime.
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[He just shrugs a little, offering Caramia a rueful smile.]
You're important to me. Worrying about the people we care about is normal, I think.
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[ that's cool, though. so's everyone really. ]
I'm not, like, totally against it. You're not gonna start laying down curfews and stuff all of a sudden, right?
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[ Whoops Minato’s getting another hug??? Crazy. Who would have seen that coming? ]
You’re too kind, bambino. But there’s nothing here to worry about. I’d much rather you be happy than worried anyway.
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... Yeah, I know. [That's just how Caramia is... constantly trying to make sure everyone around him is happy.]
You know... I'm really happy here. I just want you to know that. The people I've met, and the things I've gotten to do... it's made me very happy.
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Hm? Curfews? [ Oh right, those were a thing. ] Well, I'm nocturnal... so I think that'd be kind of hypocritical of me. So long as you're getting at least six hours of sleep-- you are getting that much, right?
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... Maybe? [ he makes a noncomittal wavy hand motion. ] I'll be honest, having to just rely on the sun to tell time here has totally messed with my whole concept of the thing.
[ add in no school or other real commitments to the mix and he just kinda... sleeps when he's tired slash able to and usually when it's dark?? ]
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[ You're not getting out of this one, Michael. You have to take care of yourself! ]
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You really are committed to the whole dad thing, I'll give ya that.
[ unfortunately, it's also endearing. ]
I'll keep it in mind, but I can't make any promises.
[ that's fair!! right? ]
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[ It's not fair! Michael!!! ]
Well, definitely try. If things get too rough, though, just let me know. I know a few things that make it easier to sleep.
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[ pls temp dad let him l i v e ]