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[ Lupin sees Minato every morning. The morning that all of this nonsense starts is no different from any other; the idea that he should avoid touching someone because it might accidentally shoot one of his most intimate memories into their head is about as distant as could be. Minato stumbles over something or other during their jog, and Lupin, ever the gentleman, goes to catch his arm without a second thought.

And, just like that, the both of them are at once in the slums of Steam London, standing in the rain. Or, rather, watching someone else stand in the rain.

There are two figures. One, a young boy in Victorian clothing, a few years younger than Minato. His face is rounder and his features are softer, and his hair is tied back in a small ponytail, but it's unmistakably Lupin - crouching beside a man old enough to be his father, deathly pale, grizzled. The storm's glued his clothes to his body and cleaned up a few nicks and scratches on his skin, but it hasn't quite been able to wash away the torrent of blood oozing from a hole near his heart. He's going to die. It's immediately obvious to Lupin, and even if he doesn't consciously think it in words, the knowledge is consuming his thoughts.

Gunshot wound, probably a handgun, close-range, the only way you could get the jump on him--
Bullet grazed an artery if there's this much blood. I can't take that out. No, even if I could, he's lost too much blood--
Is this my fault? This is my fault. I should have kept better tabs on the headquarters, always that man posted by the back entrance who doesn't sleep well. It would have been easy. They dragged him out here. They shot him inside or I would have heard it. External wounds, looks like torture. If I'd been faster--
No, this isn't my fault. I had to do this. He didn't listen. He was a criminal - this wasn't him.
This isn't my fault, but...

Lupin grips the older man's hand in his, and the older man smiles at him, tired. He doesn't grip back.

"Look at you... So you'll even cry for a guy like me. I knew you were a good kid..."

He doesn't seem to have realized that he was crying; he doesn't make a motion to wipe his tears, either.

You're not a bad person.
I'm here. We're gentleman thieves. We're invincible. It's going to be fine.
I'll figure this out.

Lupin knows he won't be okay. He doesn't say anything to him - he just moves, quickly, to try and pick him up, to move him out of the dirty alley where he's resting in an oily puddle - but when he lets go of the old man's hand, he's already stopped breathing.

Then, as suddenly as the scenery has appeared, it's gone again, and a fully-grown Lupin is standing there, blinking in shock while grabbing Minato's arm. ]

[Minato's already had a few memories granted--awkward meet-ups with his new housemates when he was heading out of the house to meet up with Lupin for their morning jog. But for the most part, the memories had been relatively harmless, and in all honesty? Minato was excited for this jog to try to clear his head and put that all out of his mind.

But.

Lupin reaches out to snag his arm when he stumbles, and then there's that memory, and the tone of it is already different from the memories he experienced before. A younger Lupin, and the man he's crouched next to...family? A guardian? A guide?

Even without Lupin's thoughts, it's obvious to Minato that he's going to die. Minato's seen someone die from a gunshot just like that before. Still... it's so difficult to watch Lupin cry like that over this dying man, in this dirty alley in the rain--

And then he's back in the present, and Minato drags in a deep breath, shaking his head a little as he tries to process what he just saw, staring at Lupin with a slightly pained expression.]

[ he does not assume that Minato just saw his memory, because that would be weird!! Instead, he assumes the town is playing tricks on him by making him relive one of his most unpleasant memories. Lupin grimaces for a brief second, then shakes his head. Minato doesn't look so good, either. ]

-- You all right? [ he asks after a moment passes, offering a slightly-forced smile. ]

Lupin-san...

[From that reaction... he's forced to guess that Lupin isn't aware yet of what's going on.

So quietly, he rubs a face over his hand, and draws in a slow breath.

Bearer of bad news time.]

I'm sorry, but... I saw that too. Your--memory.

Ah...

[ it's the noise of someone getting caught with an embarrassing party photograph more than someone having their innermost secrets revealed. He stands up to his full height, letting go of Minato's arm and scratching the back of his head in chagrin.

So. He saw that. He's never told anyone about any of that, ever - not even Impey knows all the details. Of course, Minato doesn't have the whole story, either... just the most emotionally personal part of it. Lupin dislikes sharing these darker details of his life; he likes to be a symbol to people, of justice and freedom and confidence, a guile hero who makes miracles happen. This, though, places him squarely in the realm of human. Not that he has any illusions of Minato thinking he's more than he is, or anything like that - no, it's simply Lupin's desire to match the aesthetic he idolizes.

More than anything, he doesn't want to be pitied. ]

They could've picked a more pleasant one. Sorry.

[That gets a slow shake of his head; it's clear Minato's still trying to process what he saw. Still... ultimately, what he has to say, quietly, is:]

No... I'm sorry for prying into your memories like that.

[It was neither of their faults, but he still feels as though it's important to say that.

Another pause...and quietly, he adds:]

I won't pry about it if you don't want to talk about it. You didn't choose to share this with me, so... it doesn't feel right.

Well... You didn't do it on purpose, right? That wasn't one of your Persona powers on the fritz?

[ he can't be sure until he asks, but he has to assume this was the town's doing yet again. Minato isn't the prying type, as he says. Distantly, Lupin thinks that if someone had to see that memory, he's glad it was Minato and not someone else. He's calm, insightful, and respectful; he doesn't immediately start trying to comfort Lupin over what he saw. Which is good, because Lupin likes to think he's well past that bit of trauma.

Even if he's grateful, he still seems a little awkward about the situation. If he doesn't explain it now, it'll just hang between them, won't it? ]

It's fine. That guy is... or was my mentor. He taught me how to be a proper thief. [ a beat; hesitantly, he continues, his voice lacking its usual bravado or confidence. ] I... was abandoned on the streets when I was pretty young. I survived by stealing enough to eat. One day, when I was about 10, I tried to pickpocket him, and he caught me. I was sure he was gonna kill me, or worse, but... he took me in.

Edited 2018-09-25 02:33 (UTC)

[No matter how he looks at it... it's sad. Not only the situation, though that's definitely sad too, but...the way Lupin talks about it, too. Awkwardly, uncertainly...without any of his usual bravado and confident tone.

It really doesn't suit Lupin at all, does it...?]

... He raised you? [Lupin's mentor... but somehow, something happened to bring them to that point...]

What happened, Lupin-san...?

[ he smirks, wry. ] I don't know if I'd go that far.

[ Lupin had already essentially raised himself by the time they met. He shies away from thinking of the man as a father, perhaps because his real one had tainted the term for him. To Lupin, he was just his teacher.

Minato asks for more details, and he looks a bit sheepish. ]

You really want to hear about it? It's not exactly a good story.

[Hm... a mentor, then, but not someone Lupin would consider raising him...]

... I do, if you're willing to tell it.

I'd like to know more about you. [The good and the "bad" and everything in between...] Because you're my friend.

[ he's not surprised Minato thinks of him as a friend; he is surprised to hear him state it so plainly. That's usually the sort of thing he would do, and he's not used to being on the receiving end of it. Even Lupin looks briefly taken aback by the heartfelt statement, brows raising... then he rubs the back of his neck, smiling helplessly. ]

You... I can't exactly say no if you ask like that.

[ it still won't be pleasant to share - it's not a tale of daring heroism like the yarns Lupin spins usually are. But Minato is Lupin's friend, too, and if he wants to know this part of him, then he'll tell him. ]

He was a thief, same as I was - the only difference was that he didn't keep the things he stole for himself. Everything he took, he'd give away to someone who needed it. The poor, the weak, the unlucky... Like a real Robin Hood. He said "it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks is right - your only guide in this world is what your own justice." Me... I thought he was incredible. Still do. [ he smiles, a little bitterly. ] He taught me everything he knew, and so I started helping him out with his work. After a while, I got even better at it than he was. But...

[ a pause. Lupin's mouth twists as he tries to decide how to word the rest of the story; idly, he pushes a lock of hair away from his forehead, still a little sweaty from the morning jog. ]

I still remember the day exactly - it was a miserable rainy summer day, hot as the devil. I'd gotten into this big mafia warehouse to steal some intelligence, and I found some money transfer paperwork. All of it was from him. Or, rather, it was money that I'd stolen and given to him. I thought he was giving it away like he always did, but... he tricked me. He was taking what I stole and made his own crime syndicate with it. Obviously, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I mean, how could I? So I went to him and confronted him about it, but -- it was all true. After that, he cut all his ties with me.

[ though Lupin tries to keep a light tone, he can't keep a dark shadow from passing over his face. He's been over this day a thousand times, wondering what he could have done differently. If he'd tried harder, maybe he could have changed his mind. If he'd kidnapped him, or thought of something completely out of the box... ]

For a while, I was lost. But I really believed what he'd taught me back then. The man who told me that I should always follow my own justice was a hero, a good man - that's how I wanted to keep him in my heart. And that man would never stand for this. So I made up my mind to put a stop to what he was doing. Like I said, my skill and technique outstripped his a while ago, and I was a lot younger than him. I infiltrated the organization he'd made and stole everything they had. I gave the money I found to a few different orphanages, and I handed over all the evidence I gathered to the cops. If I did that, then the organization would collapse, and he'd have to come back to his senses - he'd have no other choice. [ Lupin laughs, humorlessly. ] It sounds really naive in retrospect, huh... I thought I was being clever, but I was still just a kid.

[ he drums his fingers against his arm, glancing away from Minato off at some spot in the distance. ]

I put them in a tight spot, and everyone in the organization knew it wasn't going to last. So they started to turn on each other, picking off whoever they thought might be a traitor. When there's internal unrest like that, who do you think the person in the most danger is? Of course, it's the guy at the top... My teacher, the one who created it. By the time I found him again, he... well... I guess you saw the rest.

Edited 2018-09-29 02:17 (UTC)

[... Oh no.

It's definitely a situation that's a bit out of his grasp. No matter how he looks at it, the hardships Lupin went through aren't things he personally ever had to deal with. At least, he was never on the streets, and he never had to steal to survive...

But it's painful to think that Lupin's still blaming himself for this to this day. That one mistake, one decision that he was trying to do to help piece together what little broken family he had led to that...

... Minato draws in a slow breath, and meets Lupin's eyes squarely.]

... Thank you for telling me. [...] I know it must be painful to talk about it.

[Another pause, and then quietly:]

Do you blame yourself for that? For...what happened to him?

[ Lupin leads a reclusive life. He has a handful of friends, and they're very dear to him, but he plays his cards close to his chest; his personal life stays personal, and his late mentor is really the only one who's ever really known Arsène, the street rat, in addition to Lupin, the gentleman burglar. Minato certainly doesn't know as much about Lupin's past as that man had, but he now knows more about it than anyone else. He feels rather like a magician who's pulled away the curtain. The magic's gone, and now they're just two regular boys, standing here on even footing. ]

That's a complicated question, [ he replies, smiling dryly. ] It would be a lie if I said none of it was my fault. But as bad as my idea might have been, there were a lot of circumstances I didn't know about. I'm not sure his story ever had a happy ending.

[ there were plenty of people who would say his mentor was not a good man. He'd learned that after he died. The man Lupin knew, the man he'd been before, and the man he'd become were all different people, and in his heart, Lupin wants to believe that the one he'd indirectly killed wasn't the one who'd taught him. ]

It was a long time ago... I'm all right, so you don't need to worry about me. We've all got a few skeletons in our closet, no?

[Well... Lupin's not wrong. They all have skeletons in their closet, and things they don't want to share with other people. Things that aren't easy to talk about, things that they don't want others to know so easily...

But even so, Minato feels... like Lupin has been through so much more than he deserved.

He understands that Lupin doesn't want his pity--and that Lupin doesn't need it, really, but...]

... You know... I'm going to worry anyway, Lupin-san. We're friends, right? That's what friends do when it comes to things like this.

[Sometimes, it really is as simple as that.]

It hasn't changed my opinion of you at all, though. I want you to know that too.

Heh. It's not like I can stop you. [ Lupin smirks at him, but it's soft and fond rather than mischievous. ] You're a good friend, Minato.

[ he's got such a gentle soul; Lupin would probably think he was being sarcastic if he wasn't standing here listening to him say what he says in person. He's wise beyond his years. A hand drops on Minato's head, and Lupin musses his hair playfully. ]

Besides, even if it had changed your opinion of me, I'd just change it back.

[Uwahh... Lupin's so cool. Minato's eyes widen a bit, because that's just a really cool thing to say (this is part of why he does admire Lupin so much) but before he can say it...

They are the creators of their own problems here... because Minato's trigger for sharing a memory is him bowing his head, and that happens on automatic when Lupin ruffles his hair like that.

WHOOPS. MEMORY TIME.

It's...an office. At an orphanage, perhaps, or a child services building--either way, there's a small huddle of adults to one side, talking softly to each other, whispering.

Minato, age seven, sits quietly in his seat, too small for his feet to do more than dangle. He doesn't fidget, and he doesn't shift; he just sits there quietly, hands propping him up beside him in a seat that's too large for him, eyes distant.

After all... the adults are whispering, but even so, he can hear them, and they don't seem to notice--or if they do, they don't seem to care. The words filter through a little too easily, in fact--

"He's just a little too unnatural."

"I know his parents died, but it's been a year--he should have recovered by now."

"He doesn't smile, he doesn't laugh--"

Minato, silent and still, just hunches his shoulders a little more. And while Lupin can feel his emotions... they are a little dulled. Dull misery, sadness. Exhaustion, resignation. There isn't a shred of hope that this situation is going to get better, because even just by age seven, he knows it won't.

"You're related to him, even if distantly," the child services officer says firmly, gentleness gone after having dealt with these people for a shred too long. "He needs someone to look after him."

From the man, a snapped back, "We don't want him--" until he's hushed by his wife, as she sends a furtive glance Minato's way. He hasn't stirred, though--sans to let his eyes slide shut. It doesn't matter what they say, after all.

It's all the same in the end, and he's sure that he'll end right back up in this position once more soon enough, just like after his parents died, over and over and over again.

... Minato, when the memory ends, mostly looks a little startled, but not otherwise particularly bothered, blinking; phew, that's a blast to the past to be sure.]

[ in retrospect, he should have seen that coming, but he wasn't thinking.

Maybe he also should have seen this coming. Lupin doesn't recognize the surroundings, and not just because of the difference in time period; he'd fallen through the cracks of society so entirely that he never even saw inside an orphanage as a child. But it's easy enough for him to grasp what's going on. He recognizes this scene, watching as adults treat you like a problem rather than a person, and he recognizes Minato's emotions, too. How often had he felt that way?

When the memory ends, he's quick to look at Minato's face, get a quick read on how he's feeling. These are delicate waters to tread, and he doesn't want to accidentally kick too hard. ]

... You too, huh?

Yes... that's right.

[Minato, at least, seems pretty okay with all of this; aside from his ruefulness about the memory having been shared, he's calm and relatively peaceful.

He came to terms with that lifestyle a long time ago.]

I guess we have a couple of similarities that way.

... What did you do? After that, I mean.

[ because he didn't seem like he was about to be adopted by those people - and if he was, Lupin feels worse for him. As far as he can tell, parents who don't want you are worse than having no parents at all. Minato doesn't appear to be shaken by this bit of his personal life being shared with Lupin, so he asks freely, albeit gently.

He wonders if that dullness to his emotions ever went away. ]

They... took me, eventually. Not for long, though.

[He just shrugs a little.]

I don't remember what technicality, but they were able to say they couldn't take care of me any longer. And then I went to someone else.

[A beat, and:]

Again.

[He doesn't sound particularly emotional about it, though--mostly, he's just resigned to the fact that that's how it was.]

[ he sighs, in that tired, annoyed way one does when they're hearing something they disapprove of but can't do anything about. Perhaps it's not a familiar story to him, specifically, but he's certainly seen it happen enough times. When he got older, he made sure to funnel a good chunk of his ill-gotten funds into orphanages, and he saw enough to know that what Minato's describing is nothing unique.

Just because it's not new to him doesn't keep it from incensing him. Minato is such a good kid - smart, quiet, kind. Was there really no one out there who didn't want to take him in? Even Lupin had eventually been picked up by someone who thought he was worth something. But he can tell by the look in his eyes and the tone of his voice that he doesn't need to hear Lupin's anger about it, or even his sadness. He's gone through it all himself already.

It's probably a stupid move to touch him again. But Lupin does it anyway, reaching out his hand to place it on Minato's head once more - this time, with fondness rather than playfulness. ]

You'll be okay.

[ Lupin ended up okay, after all. Minato will, too. It might be hard to imagine anything other than a bleak future, but Lupin believes that it exists for him. ]

[Lupin's kind. He's so warm and loving, and the better Minato gets to know him, the clearer it is. Even though it's clear Minato's okay now, that he's come to terms with things a long time ago...

Lupin's still worried for him, and still ready to be there on his side, and that's more than enough for Minato.

Thankfully, they aren't going to be doomed to another memory; instead, Minato's head dips a bit beneath Lupin's hand, but not enough to bombard them again. And quietly, he smiles a little.]

... Yeah.

[He won't be okay anymore; he already gave up that life. But... by the time he died, he's confident he was okay. That he found what he needed to be okay.]

You're right. ... Don't worry about me, Lupin-san. All of that happened, but... I'm still okay. [He's still just him, right? For better or for worse, he can't be anyone else.]

You said it yourself, didn't you? We're friends, so I'm going to worry about you anyway.

[ even if he believes Minato is okay, and will be okay - he still cares about him, and that means he's going to worry. Lupin lets his hand fall to his side once more. It feels a bit like he and Minato just shared secrets like a couple of girls at a slumber party, albeit in a much more unorthodox way, and the aftermath leaves him slightly awkward and feeling like the bond between the two of them got that much stronger. He glances off to the side, looking a little sheepish. ]

Sort of puts a damper on our jog, doesn't it? [ a beat. he chuckles quietly. ] ... I've never actually told anyone all that stuff before. It feels strange.

[Aw... that's cute too. Minato's used to this sort of heavy sharing by this point; over the past year, he's heard so many more sad stories and tragic tales than he can wrap his head around.

He wonders, sometimes, if that was some sort of magic of the Velvet Room, or just... a matter of him finally opening up to the people around him, and the answer, he thinks, is that Igor had nothing to do with it.

... So to be able to do the same for someone he respects as much as Lupin makes him happy.]

It does feel a little strange, but... it makes me happy too.

[A small shrug, and:]

That you trust me with it, yeah, but also... that you could take a past like yours and become the person you are today even coming from a background like that.

[Minato's sure that he can't be the only one who feels this way, but as an unwanted orphan, it definitely does resonate with him pretty strongly. Because Lupin really is amazing.]

It's inspiring, you know?

[ Happy?

He's not sure happy is how he'd describe the feeling - he's not sure how to describe it at all, other than "strange." Minato's explanation of why he's happy, though - that makes Lupin happy, too. He's helped a lot of people in his life, sometimes directly, sometimes not; he's soft-hearted, and has been touched many times seeing the good he can bring to other people. Yet for some reason, this admission of his life being inspiring, even with the regular, unattractive human parts left in -- that makes him feel something special. He can still remember how he'd looked at his mentor with star-struck eyes once he'd told him about what he did for a living. If Lupin could be someone like that for others like him, too...

Well, he'd never thought about it before. But it's nice. Really nice. He remains looking sheepish (this is probably the most humble he's ever been), tugging at a strand of his unruly hair, but he smiles softly at Minato all the same. ]

... Geez. What's a guy supposed to say to that? [ he pauses, shaking his head. ] Thanks. If you think that, it was worth it.

[Hey--this is cute. Lupin's confidence is something he admires about him, of course, but seeing Lupin being a little sheepish and humble is also cute.

(It just hammers the point home--the most amazing people in the world are regular people too, and if that's not inspiring Minato doesn't know what is.)]

... I don't think you have to say anything. But that's what I think.

[A beat, and... they've probably been touchy-feely enough, right? He'll spare Lupin some of the awkwardness.]

Want to start our jog now? Better late than never, right?

a glimpse into steampunk dating sim life

MINATO

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i wrote that and then saw lupin literally says "he was like a father to me" in canon IGNORE THAT

i saw nothing tbh

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