awashlogs | Event Ten.

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Event Ten.

Little Willie, mean as hell,
Pushed his sister in a well.
Mother said, while drawing water,
"My, it's hard to raise a daughter."

t's pretty dark and miserable down in the well. The cavernous area feels much larger than a well should be, bodies milling about in the darkness and knee deep, frigid water. So you're here -- and you're not alone, and the only way out appears to be the thin circle of sunlight from above, the opening of the well.

(And elsewhere, in the Town, everyone's waking up to gifts of various usefulness, but hopefully they remember to check the well today even so!)

What now?

Welcome to Awash's tenth event log, and the intro log for this month, everyone! All new characters have found themselves waking in the well in the middle of the Town. Hopefully they can get a hand out! For more information, please go here!

Meanwhile, the current characters have some new gifts.

If there are any questions, please ask them here, and have fun! Thank you!

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[ aigis... doesn't have a heart, not in a literal sense, yet it stops.

every single part of her body had been tuned for combat, her reflexes refined for it—but she'd never really moved, turned, reacted as fast as she had in that moment. because that voice... isn't one she thought she'd hear again. and for a second she thinks it's another one of those dreams, the ones she can hardly stand anymore—but it isn't.

or is it?

everything here is irrational. it had all been so real until him; it's her fear that when she grasps this it'll all disappear, and as always he'll walk away. but her systems say otherwise.

(they scan as they always do—)

her heart says otherwise.

(he's here, as he always was—)

it always hurts, but she can't help trying— ]

How...? [ it's hesitant, at first; her eyes wide, voice small. how doesn't matter, does it? what matters is-- ] Please... Please stay.

[ and that's more desperate, though she remains frozen to her place. maybe he won't move away if she doesn't, and she can hope for just a while longer? then the rest can come. the shame, the guilt, the joy she likely doesn't deserve... right now, she just wants to see him. make sure she's seeing him.

she's wanted this for so long. ]

[That desperation hurts. He did what he had to do, and he still doesn't regret it; it was a choice he had to make, and he knows that that's the case.

And yet...

Seeing that frozen fear, that desperation on Aigis' face, he can't help but wish that he could have spared her all of this. Aigis, who is still coming to terms with many of her own feelings...she's deserved so much better than this.

(And yet, selfishly, he's just happy that he gets to see her again. Selfishly, because he knows it probably would have been better if she never--)

He drags in a slow breath, and steps forward, nodding quietly. What else can he do?]

I'm not... going anywhere. [Not yet.]

I'm right here. [For now.

And he can't promise anything more than that; right now, all they have is "for now".]

[ ah... it's different. he's staying. he's... real? and it's inexplicable, illogical, everything a machine is supposed to reject... yet she doesn't. she can't help it.

"i'm right here" is just what she wanted to hear, from the person she had devoted her life to and couldn't face in the end. the emotions come settling down one a time as it all sinks in, an overwhelming tangle of grief and relief--mixed in with a whole onslaught of things she can't quite put names to.

(how, again, in the back of her head--but again, it doesn't matter, not right now in the midst of her own selfishness.)

she moves as he does, her steps shaky as she attempts to keep steady. then, she moves without him--closer, her hands reaching out without question to... well. to touch him, in any way, before they drop to her sides, as if her energy simply banished from her body. can she? ]

I'm... I'm so glad you're--

[ unhurt. healthy. alive. here. here.

before she knows it, the tears come. her thoughts scramble. and she isn't even aware if it's the human or machine side of her that can't handle this. ]

I'm sorry... I just... I'm sorry--

[ for her failure, her running away in the aftermath, her cowardice in the face of her powerlessness... that such a thing had to happen to him at all. ]

[She's...crying. That's right. He thought he saw her cry--when he's made it back down from Tartarus that night, and again on the rooftop on March 5th. She'd...cried.

In a strange sense, he feels inexplicably proud of her. Aigis is so much more than she ever thought she was--so much more than a robot, so much more than her programming. She has her own thoughts, her own feelings, her own heart. This just proves it, doesn't it...?

At the same time, though, he knows he's the cause for those tears, and that hurts like a knife. He'd always just wanted everyone to be happy, as happy as they could be. And yet every time they show up here, he's the one who puts these expressions on their faces.]

Aigis...

[Her hands drop, and he reaches out instead to take one of her hands between her own. See? He's solid. He's real. For now...he's alive.]

Don't apologize. You... don't have anything to apologize for, so please--

[Don't...say sorry while looking so heartbroken. But he knows he has no right to ask for that. Really, what can he say at a time like this besides:]

It's good to see you again, Aigis.

[ she feels terrible. acting like this is certainly hurting him... and she shouldn't be showing such a weak side of herself, not when the burden of everything is so heavily skewed in his direction. but... but she can't help it.

especially when he takes her hand like that, comforts her like that—acts as if her promises weren't empty and she hadn't failed him.

but she was right, wasn't she? when she thought about it, she knew he would never really blame any of them. wouldn't blame her for her weakness. without thinking, her hand grips a little tighter around minato's, her other hand coming up to rest on top of both of theirs, intertwined. ]

I... It's so much more than that...

[ she says this, attempting to convince herself that she can keep it together, react in the way that he's trying to support her into. "good to see you" is such a light way of putting it...

she tries, very visibly tries to stop, but the tears keep coming. ]

I'm sorry... I know you said not to, but-- I can't... I failed you...

[... The worst thing of all is hearing Aigis say something like that. As if she really could've failed him--as if any of them could have failed them when it was thanks to all of them that he was even able to do what he did.

They had all gone into that battle knowing that the possibility was high that they would all die. They had accepted that inevitability as a consequence of fighting Nyx.

That Minato was the only one who did was one of the things he's more grateful for than anything.

So quietly, he tugs on her hand to draw her into a hug instead, wrapping his arms around her gently. He's caused them all an incredible amount of pain, hasn't he...? If he could take back anything, it would be the pain they've suffered for his choices.

But while his voice is soft, nearly whispered, it's nonetheless said fiercely.]

You haven't. You haven't failed me at all. It was... my choice.

And I'm so grateful... that I was able to make that choice.

[Thanks to all of the bonds he was given, thanks to all of the friends who supported him--but most of all, thanks to Aigis and SEES, he was able to do so... and because of that, Aigis can cry, and live, and grow. What more could he ever ask for?]

[ aigis is pulled into the hug quite easily--how can she refuse? it's a reminder of minato's presence, of his past absence... and it's that thought that moves her hands so she can grip at the fabric at his back lightly. his gentle words and reassurances both help and hurt as she struggles to understand, to come to terms with it all, and bat away the shame.

because his sacrifice made it so hard to live.

because it made her want to regress into what she once was--just a machine, looking to emotionlessly fulfill an objective. feeling hurt too much.

and he wouldn't want that, would he? it hurts, knowing and hearing that that was his choice, when she wasted away in the grief.

(he'd hate to hear the instinctive reflex to his words in her mind--that is, she would've rather that choice be the one she could've made, for him.) ]

Minato-san...

[ honestly, the words are stuck in her throat.

and she finds the arguments she can but shouldn't offer are melting away into background static, nudging her to remember them and her guilt as she tries to focus simply on him, his kindness. all she can manage is hiding her face in his shoulder weakly, as even the heartfelt thank you she said on that rooftop so long ago is too difficult to parse.

(though he deserves at least that. deserves more than that, more than her just. wetting his shirt with tears.

... sorry, minato.) ]

[She's right about one thing; he would hate to know that she wishes she could've made that choice for him instead. But at the same time, it's not like he wouldn't be able to understand. More and more, watching the people here, getting to know them and their pains and their joys and fears, he's realized...

Being left behind is even harder than dying.

He has hurt Aigis deeply with this, he knows...and yet, he's still so happy she's here. He's so happy he gets to see her again. He's happy that he gets to be right here, with her tears wetting the fabric covering his shoulder, and her fingers buried into his clothing. He doesn't think she understands just how much even this means to him. Her weight, solid and reassuring. Her voice, just as he remembers. Her gentleness, despite knowing that she could very easily be so much fiercer with her shadow fighting capabilities.

But she never is. Not with him, not with SEES--

(He's missed her so, so much--)]

... It's okay.

[What else can he say? His own words are thick with all of the feelings he doesn't think he'd ever be able to properly share, but otherwise, he's steady. He wants to be, for her.]

I'm here, and... we have time. [Maybe not a lot of time. Maybe there's no guarantee of how much time they have. But in this exact moment... they have time, and he'll fight off the universe if anything tries to take that away from him.

And, softly, almost more to himself than her, with the flat of one hand lightly pressed to her back:]

... There's time.

[ time...

there aren't any words for how thankful she is for this time. how much she yearns for more, even if their reunion isn't even over--it just isn't enough, not when she even needs this in the first place. but... but still, it's there. time. time for aigis to put names to the emotions that weigh her down, as her breaths alternate between small sniffs and slight, quiet hiccups. time to sort through the confusion that is both grieving, missing, and reuniting with him all at once; to shove that away for the moment to focus on... this present, as if it was a past where all of it was okay.

she stays where she is, grounded by his touch and just... paying attention to him. to everything. she's spent so much of her living life keeping herself tuned to any of minato's small needs... it would feel wrong to her to not do the same now. that is the least overwhelming part of this all, honestly, and it gives her another chance to just take it in.

it still hasn't settled. but she can pretend. after all, she wanted to be his strength--that fact hasn't changed and would never change. ]

I'm [ sniff ] grateful for it...

[ aigis can manage that, muffled into his shoulder, slightly stuffed from all the crying she's been doing.

there's still about a million other things she can say, but. the one that stands out most is the following: ]

... Are you all right?

[ with the utmost concern she can manage from her fatigued mind. again, that's always been the most important thing to her. plus, she can't miss the way he seems to speak to himself at the end of his reassurances... the way that all of this has to be overwhelming for him, as well.

she couldn't be there for him then. she could... be here for him now. right?

for however long she has.

(maybe long enough to find out a way to bring him home? like this?

long enough to find a way to settle down with the thought of having lost him, only to lose him a second time? who knows.) ]

[Now that... is so incredibly Aigis that Minato could almost laugh, if the situation wasn't so brutal. If her tears weren't still coming, and if she didn't sound so heartbroken.

Aigis... will always be Aigis, right? In a way, that's reassuring.

(In a way, he thinks that he did her a disservice by existing, by her tying her goals to him, by taking away from her a goal that she had finally decided on for herself.

He didn't mean to, of course, but the thought lingers heavily on his mind even so.)

Quietly, he huffs out a soft breath, and when he responds, it's calmly.]

Yes... I'm fine.

[As fine as one can be in a moment like this.]

I'm healthy... and I've been safe.

[Ish. As safe as one can be in this place. Either way, whatever he can think of to reassure her that what was happening back home to him... it's not a problem here.

(It's already happened.)]

So you don't have to worry about that.

That's good...

[ it still hurts.

it's probably never going to not hurt, yet hearing that at least helps. having him here helps. it's only for a moment that she hesitates, but then... she hugs him a little tighter. honestly, aigis is aware that she should let go of him soon, give him some space--but it's difficult, you know, when this is the end of that long nightmare of chasing him.

for now, anyway.

finally, she shifts to split from him a tad--just enough to bring her hands up to wipe at the tears and observe the damage she's inflicted on his poor, poor clothes. mostly, the latter's just to collect herself so she doesn't go straight into frantic crying again when she looks at his face.

it's so quiet. this is the most peaceful she's been for a long time, even with the knot of emotions still hidden within her.

she looks at him. ]

Um... I've--

[ a small exhale, and then she glances away. nope, still hard. she rubs at her eyes again. ]

I still don't understand... [ why he died. why he's here, now... and how to deal with all of it. ] ... And the words are... difficult to find, but I just-- Um, I've... missed you. So much...

[How can anyone really cope with this sort of thing--or even comprehend it? Minato sure doesn't know. He doesn't have any real words of comfort for Aigis, or any advice.

All he can do is quietly meet her eyes, expression soft.

Those words, at least, Minato understands. Those words... he understands so, so well, because he feels the same exact way.]

... I've missed you too, Aigis. [So, so much more than he could ever put into words.]

It's probably the wrong thing to say in a place like this, but...

[Even if it's something that he shouldn't be saying, because even if Aigis would be so much better off back home.]

... Thank you for being here.

[Because he missed her so, so much.]

[ thank you... it's not quite what she expected to hear and, fundamentally, she understands why minato says it. yet he's the one that should be hearing it, not saying it...?

still...

she shakes her head. it's not the wrong thing to say, but she also doesn't need to be thanked. not for something she couldn't control--though she would have certainly made the choice if she could have. ]

It isn't wrong. I... promised to be by your side, so being here isn't something I couldn't want.

[ it's true. being by his side would never be the wrong decision, not in her eyes--especially when the possibility became an impossibility. their other friends were safe, so...

... keeping minato company and ensuring his safety had always been one of her priorities. this time wasn't any different.

even if it's difficult. even if it's dangerous. even... if it was delaying the reality of it. ]

I almost wish I could have come sooner...

[But is she okay? Is it okay that she made that promise to be by his side? Is she okay now that he's--

There are a lot of things that he worries about, that weigh on his mind, but... he can't ask. Not yet. Not right now. Maybe...another time.

... Another time, surely, he'll be able to ask.]

Please don't worry about that.

[He flashes her a small smile, weak but sincere.]

I've been fine here, so... you're just in time.

[Lonely, maybe a little, but... he wouldn't wish some of what this place does on any of his team.]

Okay?

[ just in time...

it's hard to believe that when every variation of being here could only be late in her eyes, considering the circumstances they come from.

but. well. she'd hate to burden him more than she already has, so... ]

... Okay.

[ her hands go up one last time to her eyes, wiping away any last remnants of wetness there. she's... since stopped crying, she thinks, but there's an overwhelming kind of feeling that lingers with all of this.

for obvious reasons.

she's a good mix of okay, not okay, and... silent, as she finds the strength to return the small smile he gives her, every bit as sincere as he is. ]

... Thank you.

[ she finds the strength for that, too.

somehow.

though it isn't quite clear if that thank you is just for this one instance of reassurances in a sea of things he's done for her, or for a whole lot more than that. ]

[There's so much that needs to be said, and Minato knows this is far from over... but not right now. Not while Aigis is still wiping tears from her eyes, and Minato's feeling a little emotionally frayed himself, beneath that calm exterior.

So.

He smiles at her, and offers her his hand.]

Do you want to stay with me while we're here? We'll have to find your laptop, but we can do that later.

[For now... maybe if he helps her get settled in, she'll feel less like he's about to disappear.

He can hope so, can't he...?

It's the least he can do, when he knows he was the one to put this expression on her face in the first place.]

[ is that a feeling that'll go away...? maybe in a couple of weeks. months. but for now, she still isn't sure--she's uncertain enough that, when she takes minato's hand, she still feels like somehow he'll fade away.

but, like he has through this entire conversation... he remains.

and little by little, that helps. ]

If... that's all right. I'd like to be close by to you... especially when everything is so unfamiliar.

[ like home. as usual, aigis says those kinds of things without even missing a beat.

it's... so odd, how she just find herself slipping back into everything she's missed and sworn to, just like that.

yet it's so odd, how it doesn't quite feel the same. ]

That's what I want.

[He wants her to stay close by. He wants her to be with him, as if they're at home. It might be selfish, but... right now, that comfort is more than anything he could ask for.

It means more to him than he could ever say.]

I'd feel better to have you close by, Aigis.

[And so, he starts to walk, slow measured steps towards where he's been living.]

Then... that's where I will be.

[ that's what she says, heartfelt and true, as she follows closely behind him. who could ever really expect any other response from her, really? so long as minato was all right, she would be too.

for now...

for now. ]

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Event Ten.

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