awashlogs | BEES

[ This is a much better idea. ]

You're perfect for this! [ of course, his crystal friend is totally immune to being stung by 5000 bees! This can't fail. Probably. How much cajoling did Lupin have to do to get Cairngorm to actually come along with him for this forest stroll? Who knows. At least it's daytime out this time; they won't have to be falling asleep while trying to complete a quest. ] Just do what I say, and we'll have this little errand done in a flash.

[ he will also probably have to explain what a bee is, but that's okay. ]

"Just do what I say", huh...

[ It definitely took some cajoling, because the more they're getting into this errand, the more it occurs to them that they absolutely don't want to be here. And yet, despite their metaphorical feet dragging, they're still walking in stride with him, letting out a prolonged sigh. ]

If you're only dragging me out here to boss me around and make me do all the work, I'm going home.

[ They only have a vague understanding that a bee is a type of insect, so they're not really sure why he's insisting they're perfect for this— which isn't great for convincing them to not turn heel and go take a nap instead. ]

Boss you around? Perish the thought. You just probably don't know what bees or honey are, right?

[ he's here to be helpful! ]

...No, not really.

[ It must be some sort of creature that lives in the forest with something else. That's such a broad understanding, though, so they have no idea what they're walking into here— probably evident by how they've brought their huge ass sword on this trip, which is not delicate bee handling material. ]

It'd help if you'd explain it to me beforehand.

I'm about to, so listen well.

[ he's mostly just being cheesy rather than patronizing when he says that. ]

Bees are a kind of insect. They live in huge groups, build big houses called "hives" out of wax to live in, and they produce this sweet substance called honey that they store in those hives. They guard it, of course. The problem is that they've all got stingers, too - for us soft humans, getting stung by one really hurts, and usually makes us itchy for a while, too. [ he looks over at Cairngorm with a smile. ] But as far as bee stings are concerned, you're invincible. I don't think they could do worse than annoy you.

Hold on.

[ They make a flat expression, slowing their pace a smidge. ]

You're bringing me on this quest so you won't get stung? [ And from the sounds of it, by hundreds of them? They're not scared of any bugs (or stingers for that matter), but somehow it seems like a very bad idea for humans to even get near these "beehives" if one sting is so allegedly painful. ] How do you know they won't just attack both of us.

[ That's half-rhetorical, half-an actual question. ]

[ don't call him out, gormy, he's still trying to figure out his role in all this....... when they slow down, he does, too, although he moves a step or two ahead so he can face them while he walks. ]

I'll stay out of the way. They won't even know I'm there! Hiding is one of a thief's main skills, you know.

Are you serious, Lupin...?

[ Their brows furrow, looking suddenly Very Concerned. But they don't stop walking. If Lupin wants to walk straight into the metaphorical lion's den, that's his choice, but that doesn't mean they have to be happy about it. Somehow they expected his plan for his safety to be more elaborate than hiding away and hoping the bees don't find him, but alas. ]

You're on your own if they find you. [ Even though they say that, they're taking down a mental note to keep an eye on where he is in case they need to whisk them both away. Frustrated, but also now wanting to get this quest over with faster than ever, they press the heel of their hand to their temple, complaining: ] I mean, how do you even expect to stay out of the way when you'll need to show me where it is...

[ he is not taking the threat of potential bug attacks super seriously - or, at least, he doesn't seem that worried about fending them off if they come after him. ]

Relax. Even if I did get stung, it wouldn't kill me. [ as usual, Cairngorm is fretting over him... he should expect this by now. ] There'll probably end up being something for me to do other than hide, besides. The animals in these woods are never normal - oh, there!

[ he suddenly halts in his steps, putting a hand on Cairn's shoulder to still them and using the other to point up to a crook in a nearby tree. There is, indeed, something reminiscent of a beehive there... Only reminiscent, because it's also covered in what look like a bunch of huge cobwebs. ]

That's one...? [ UNCERTAIN ]

[ SURE JAN, is what they were going to say, before they're suddenly being halted and prompted to look at a....weird thing, up in the tree.]

Well, is it one, or is it not?

[ Unfortunately they have no way of telling why he sounds so uncertain, other than perhaps thinking that he's never seen one up close before. Likely, since based on the way Lupin dresses, he doesn't seem to be the out-in-the-wilderness type. They squint, trying to see any movement in or out of the structure, or anything that fits the description that Lupin gave them— though, of course, the bee in their imagination looks quite different from the reality. ]

Well, it -- it looks like one, but they don't usually have those webs near them? Maybe it's really old...

[ he mumbles, even though he knows the real answer is definitely going to be way more horrible. Which it is, of course. After a few seconds, a "bee" appears, crawling out of a crevice in the hive. It's also eight-legged, about the size of his hand, and basically a tarantula, only with wings and black-and-yellow stripes. It takes off with an amazingly loud buzz, leaving a dangling strand of silk behind it as it flitters off to who knows where.

Lupin is appropriately horrified. ]

Ugh... I think that's supposed to be a bee. This damn forest needs to give me a break.

[ They don't look that shocked, though they do look... mildly disturbed. That wasn't what they were picturing, but it's not like they have a ton to compare it to, so they just tilt their head and rest one gloved hand on their hip and the other on the handle of their blade. ]

That's it?

[ It's still not very threatening looking, from their perspective. In fact, gems let insects land on them all the time, so they're not particularly worried for whatever this little bug has in stock, even if it is a product of this forest. Their indifference is warranted given their track record with beasts from the forest. ]

Evolved or not, it's not like an insect can do much to stop me. [ Should be...easy enough... even if they're still not particularly sure what honey is. ] All I have to do is take stuff from inside there, after all.

[ They hold out an expectant hand for whatever container he's brought to put the honey in, watching carefully as a few more of those tarantula-bees crawl around the outside of the webbed hive, alerted by the sound of their chat. ]

[ and they were acting so dismissive before. Lupin can't help but smirk a little bit as they start getting proud, even as his skin crawls from the sight of these new horrible mutants the forest has to offer the two of them. (He knew this would happen.)

They reach out for a container, and he shakes his head. ]

I don't know how much we need, so let's just take one of the combs. It'd be too hard to try and harvest honey while they're going after us, anyway.

[ he can do the honey extraction later, when they're not in danger of being bitten by flying tarantulas. ]

Let's see, here... The easiest thing to do would probably just be to break off a piece and then make a run for it.

[ They'll take his word for it, since they're in unknown territory right now. They retract their hand, putting it to their chin while they try to visualize what breaking it is going to be like. Certainly it's not as dense as a stone, so it should still pose no problem for them, even with that weird wispy stuff on the outside. ]

So... I should just break it with my hands?

[ The option they present leaves him out of the equation, which is the preferable path of action here. In their opinion, they're letting him tell them what to do, so that should be plenty enough of listening on their half. They don't want Lupin getting bit by one and suddenly turning into a spider or something crazy like that. ]

As long as that "honey" stuff isn't an acid or anything, that should be fine. [ They take a step nearer to the tree, wrinkling their nose at the buzzing that's starting to pick up. ] Aren't you going to go hide now?

[ turning into a wolf was bad enough...

Lupin is keenly aware that this plan is leaving him out of the equation, and he really doesn't like that, if only because he's a spotlight hog -- but he's also not stupid. It makes way more sense for Cairngorm to do this. ]

Yeah. See how there are individual combs there - like shelves? We just need one of those. [ probably. How much honey is in one of those? He doesn't actually know - hopefully, the answer is "enough." ] Go for it. I'll be right behind you!

[ with that, he darts off silently behind a nearby tree, oriented away from the path they used to get here. ]

[ With his signal, they don't waste time to hop up into the tree, graceful as always when it comes to aerial maneuvers. The sound of them nearing the hive has clearly upset a number of the bees, judging by the four or five of them that just hover around the opening— but even that doesn't really bother them. The buzzing is kind of unnerving, but altogether, they don't see a reason to hesitate to reach out and touch the hive, not even flinching when a few of those huge bees land on their shoulders and forearm. ]

Excuse me. [ They mumble to one that's crawled up onto their jaw, moving their free hand nearer so they can gently remove it. Or at least, they attempt to. When they try to calmly place it back on the hive, despite it's buzzing, it won't let go, even as they shake their hand lightly. ]

Fine...

[ If this bug wants to be a stubborn asshole, then SO BE IT. That won't stop them from breaking this dumb hive, even if it did distract them momentarily as two dozen more started crawling on them and flying around, trying to attack them but getting nowhere. There's a crunching sound when they manage to break off a piece of hive like they've been instructed to, followed by a much louder and much angrier sounding buzzing, which they only make a face at.

They're in the process of trying to neatly untangle the comb from all the webs around it so they can pull it away, not particularly caring that some of the tarantula bees are trying to web them in too. In their head, they're thinking— these are just lowly insects, there's absolutely no reason why they should have any particular level of caution here. There's definitely some gem superiority mindset at play, with how little they are worried about all the bees swarming onto them. ]

[ Hm. That looks bad.

That's basically what's going through Lupin's head as he watches Cairngorm slowly get covered in tarantu-bees. They don't seem to be particularly bothered by them, which is good! They easily broke off a piece of the hive to bring back, which is also good! Even so, he can't help feeling a little nervous. He really, really hopes these bees don't secretly have a superheated laserbeam attack they're just waiting to pull out and slice poor Cairn in half with.

Fortunately for everyone, they don't seem to have anything other than their webs - which are easy to break, but very stretchy, and also very, very sticky. Lupin sneaks a hand into a pocket on his vest beneath his cloak, feeling around for something just in case as the webs start thickening. Cairngorm probably wouldn't be hurt by fire... ]

[ This is, in fact, starting to get bad.

They finish untangling their little chunk of hive just as things are starting to get sticky, pun intended. Maybe these webs wouldn't be a problem if it was just one or two of these spider-bees working on them, but with how many there are— it's beginning to get difficult to move. ]

Ugh. Disgusting... [ A mutter, while they shake their head to try and get some of them off their face. All they need to do now is get out of this tree, but the more they struggle, the more slightly worrying it is that they can't move. Impulsively (and out of frustration, too), they kick at the trunk of the tree with what they can move of their right leg, apparently with much more force than they should have, because it shakes the tree enough to break whatever series of webs had been securing the hive to the tree— no doubt breaking off a piece had weakened the foundation, too.

They regret doing that, immediately, because most of the bees zoom right off of them to go nurse their destroyed hive now on the forest floor, which is undoubtedly closer to wherever Lupin ran off to hide than to them. At least they don't find him immediately, so that, they are grateful for. That leaves them stuck up here, the few stragglers still crawling all over them, and their one free hand having quite the time trying to untangle the rest of them from all of this. And despite all that, they still don't search out Lupin's help, preferring instead to continue working one handed...very, very slowly. ]

[ Okay, this is really bad. Lupin grimaces when he sees the hive crashing to the ground, sending a massive swarm of awful bee-spiders flying out like a puff of smoke. Time to think fast. He pulls out his phantom thief mask from his pocket and pops it over his eyes, then takes his cloak and wraps it around his face, trying to cover up as much skin as he can. Then - carefully - he inches closer to the tree Cairngorm's currently stuck in.

Dammit. If only there was some way to communicate with them that didn't involve shouting. He's worried the bees(?) will find him if he does that, but he'd rather get bitten/stung/other than accidentally do permanent damage to Cairngorm by lighting them on fire... After a second or two of debate, he raps on the trunk of the tree as loudly as he can manage, hoping to get Cairngorm's attention, then holds up something small, round and red in one hand while tugging the cloak away from his mouth in the other. He doesn't actually say anything, but he does mouth one word to them:

Fire.

And that's about all the warning he can give before he yanks something out of the little red bomb and launches it their way. If they can't handle fire, he hopes they can dodge it and let it sail harmlessly into the brush. If not... well, the little firebomb will explode the moment it makes contact with Cairngorm, releasing a shower of sparks that ignite when they touch the branch and (more importantly) the webs. ]

[ Unfortunately for all parties involved, Cairngorm has no idea what Lupin is talking about when he mouths that to them. Then he's throwing something up towards them, and they're assuming it's something they're supposed to catch— so you can imagine their shock when it suddenly explodes all over the place. Gems are not particularly keen on explosions or loud sounds being near them (it makes them rattle), so even if they're unhurt by it, they do squawk out of surprise. They sparks do undo enough of the webs for them to get loose, but they're still kind of in a state of surprise when they do, so they more like fall out of the tree than gracefully jump down.

When they hit the forest floor, it makes as loud of a sound as one would expect a (redacted) pound crystal person to make when dropped from a high height. Very loud, and very painful sounding. There's an audible groan while they sit up, still sort of dazed, but— there simply isn't time for that, because despite Lupin's best efforts, the bees totally saw and heard Cairngorm fall out of that tree. And now they're starting zip towards both of them. ]

You could've warned me better than that— ugh, just take this!! [ THINK FAST because they're throwing you this nasty hunk of beehive, Lupin, hopefully there's no stingers on it or something. ] Start running!!

[ While they're yelling at him, they're taking their sheathed blade from their hip and swinging it with both hands up from the ground, throwing up a huge cloud of dirt and leaves and other miscellaneous forest floor items to slow that very concerning cloud of bees down. ]

[ Uh oh, that didn't sound good -- or look good, frankly. Lupin immediately jumps up when he sees them crash to the ground, about to run over to go pick up whatever pieces he can, but then they sit up. Phew - catastrophic disaster avoided. ]

Come on! What else could it have been?! [ he shouts back, because the time to be quiet and careful has very obviously passed now that the entire hive's sitting on the ground and Cairngorm's fallen onto their ass so loudly the entire forest probably heard it. But it's fine. He can work with this. Luckily for Cairngorm, Lupin's got great reflexes, and he catches the hunk of beehive with hardly more than a stumble.

Unlike last time, he also actually listens to what they tell him. Why? Because he's 100% confident that Cairngorm can handle a bunch of bees. ] -- You better hurry after me!

[ they're too heavy for him to run back in and carry out! but he tucks the webby piece of comb under one arm and starts running for it. ]

[ Be grateful they're too busy dealing with spider bees to smartly say all the 100 things they could think of that it could've been instead of a bomb, which don't even exist on their planet. No, they're still picking up their pace after throwing up that cloud of dirt, which only deterred about half of those bees. That's a good enough result for them to continue that plan, blowing back the insects every fifteen or twenty paces, slicing any of the ones that come too close in half (ew).

It takes time, and they have to linger behind Lupin quite a bit, but eventually, it seems like they've thrown the vast majority of them off the trail. With that not at the forefront of their mind, the aftermath of doing that disgusting task sinks back in, and they more like stalk to catch up with Lupin rather than run, flexing the fingers of their hand that's not holding their blade. ]

You. [ Eventually, he's in their sight, and they point their covered blade at him, scowling. ] What was that? You didn't say anything about that disgusting stringy stuff, or about that thing that lit up...

[ NO they don't know what explosives are, not that kind. They shake their hand out, huffing. ]

You're lucky my hand didn't come off.

[ he does run, but he doesn't run too far... just far enough that he doesn't think any errant spiderbees will bother coming after him. When Cairngorm finds him, he'll be trying to pull webs off the honeycomb, and looking annoyed when he realizes he's smeared honey on his clothes - at least until he looks up and sees them looking a lot more dangerous than any spiderbees. The blade gets pointed in his direction, and immediately, he holds his hands up in a "don't shoot" motion. ]

That would be impossible, actually - it was just an incendiary.

[ AKA it does burst and light on fire, but it doesn't have much explosive force at all - it's just meant to burn things. Then again, they were holding it when it went off... Well, it's fine!! ]

I wasn't about to run up there and try and cut you out of all those spiderwebs, and I figured you probably wouldn't be hurt by a bit of fire... Wasn't expecting you to fall out of the tree, though. [ Lupin tilts his head. ] You didn't break anything doing that, did you?

Edited 2018-10-06 18:07 (UTC)

[ As they get closer to him, they ease their arm down, dragging their blade through the dirt behind them. They deliberately wait a few beats to respond, letting out a dramatized and prolonged sigh. ]

...No, I didn't. The ground was soft.

[ It'd probably be a different story if the terrain had been different or if they'd landed on some stray rock. But that doesn't matter, they're still mad they fell in the first place, and that they're covered from head to toe in spider-bee webs, spider-bee guts, and the colorless dirt and foliage from the forest floor. ]

Are you pleased with yourself? I feel disgusting.

[ that's gormy speak for did you at least get what you wanted, because i put up with a lot of shit and it had better have been worth it:/ ]

[ well, "pleased with himself" makes it sound like he's happy Cairngorm got covered in gunk - but at the question, he triumphantly raises up the piece of honeycomb in their general direction, smirking. ]

You should feel victorious. [ they did it!! Even if both of them are now kinda sticky for different reasons (and one of them is much stickier than the other.) Bravado aside, though, he does feel badly for how awful they're looking at the moment. ] But... I do think a bath's in order for you when we get back.

[ do gems take baths... he hopes so, because he doesn't know how else they're getting all that off. ]

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unghost - 2018-10-08 07:23 (UTC) - Expand

BEES

CAIRNGORM

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