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[ our survey says: if this is her best we are very Concerned!! ]

Seriously, how can you say that so casually? [ rolling his eyes and shoving his hands even deeper into his hoodie pockets: ] God, please don't actually chop off any of my limbs.

[ the worst part is, Michael is familiar enough with people trying to fuck with him that he absolutely knows he's being fucked with. it's just harder to follow his usual M.O of brushing everything off like he doesn't care when actually being injured inside this creepy forest is a super distinct possibility. ]

Guess even super special magical creatures aren't above being obsessed with who's getting some or not. [ or at least, it sure forms the backbone of the rumour mill at Middleborough! the unicorns can join Chloe Valentine in her quest to slut-shame every other girl in school. ] The more things change, the more they stay the same, right?

[ beat. ] But seriously, what if that's legit the way we're supposed to get ahold of their hair, or whatever?

Hmmm~?? [ She chirps, delighted. ] Don't worry, I can always reattach them if you change your mind. It's not a problem!

[ She waves it off with a chipper smile, as if this was just a casual conversation to be having. Funnily enough, it probably is? Yosano's talked about stranger in the past, anyway. But she grows a bit more serious when the unicorns settle in as their main topic. Right, no time for goofing off, then. ]

I should hope not. Maybe some people are stuck in the past, but things have changed quite dramatically, and thank god for it. [ Though, that doesn't change the fact their unicorn friend might not take so kindly to them if the virgin thing were true. Or, rather, to Yosano. She taps a finger on her chin. ]

Well, I haven't met a creature yet that couldn't be captured. We could always block it off and take some of it's hair from there.

[ he mutters "great, that makes me feel so much better" darkly under his breath, trying not to picture a frankenstein's monster version of himself-- nope, too late.

thank god for the distraction of talking about the perversions of unicorns. ]

I mean, I'd drink to that, things are a ton better than they used to be where I'm from too, but... [ he shrugs, rolling his shoulders easily. ] Far as I can see, people still get super hung up on it.

--Anyway, how're we supposed to go about blocking a unicorn off in the first place? We still need bait or something to draw it in, right?

[ ~~Somewhere, Caramia is shouting "but you're too young to drink!!"~~ ]

Hmm... Maybe you're just around the wrong crowd. [ They're called "Americans". ]

And not if we're stealthy enough. If at all possible, it'd be easier to wrangle them, but I, personally, have never done that before. [ Clearly, Yosano is just thinking of them as really fancy horses. ] We could also try cornering them and-

[ She's stops short at the distinct sound of hoofbeats. It's a little far off, and sounds more like a trot than a full on gallop, but it's definitely there! She turns to grab Michael's hand, using her other to make a "Shh!" motion, before leading off towards the sound with the kid in hand.

This gave her plenty of time to think up a plan. The problem there lying in the fact that she hasn't ever proved to be very good at coming up with plans before they happened. Yosano was always more of a... improv girl, more or less. She proved to be quite good at coming up with ideas on the spot, but previous thought-out plans? Nnnnnot so much.

But, hey, it was pretty neat to hide behind the bushes and see, like, an actual unicorn ahead there! She honestly didn't think they were going to find one and that this trip was going to be a bust! Go team?? ]

[ ~~YOU DON'T EVEN GO TO THIS THREAD, CARAMIA!!!~~

Michael's sure not gonna argue that he's around the wrong crowd, mostly 'cause high school is certifiably hell, and everyone around him is way too bothered about what other people think, and so he is certain that her assessment is 100% legit.

he was, however, definitely gonna start questioning her unicorn wrangling technique ideas, right up until he suddenly got grabbed by the hand and towed towards the sound of hooves against the earth. he keeps his mouth shut until they're safely ensconced behind the bushes, peering through the underbrush like bona-fide Steve Irwins or something. ]

Oh my god. Are you seeing this? [ he's whispering as quietly as possible, but there's no mistaking the sheer excitement in his voice. ] This is definitely in my top five of coolest things I have ever seen!

[ Yosano stares out at the unicorn in contemplation. It doesn't seem to have noticed them, which was good, but there really wasn't anyway of cutting it off from here. And she's almost certain that if both of them went out, they'd just scare it off...

Yosano glances over at Michael. Here would be the point she would say "Yes, I have eyes" like a sarcastic asshole, but she's much too deep in thought at the moment. That's when she remembers "bait". Yes, they just needed to get some hair, right? That should be easy if one of them can just get close enough... so...

Yosano smiles, reaching over to grab the back of Michael's hood gently, ] Then how about a closer look? [ and with all her force shoving him over the bushes so he could topple into the clearing with the unicorn.

Sorry, Michael. Yosano ducks down, too, so the creature only notices Michael making a rukus. Look at the brightside, Michael!! If you get punctured by that horn, at least there's a doctor nearby?? ]

Whut-- Gah--!

[ Michael goes flying over the top of the bushes with all the grace of a baby elephant, though he does manage to save it at the last minute after hitting the ground by turning it into a pretty darn sick barrelroll.

when he finally rolls to a halt, he pushes himself up onto his hands and knees and looks back toward the general direction of the bushes with a hissed: ] Seriously?! Not cool!

[ ... of course, as soon as he turns his head back, he's nose-to-nose with an actual fucking unicorn, who heard and saw the ruckus this loud young human was causing in its clearing and got curious. Michael holds his breath - that horn is super close to the top of his head, oh geez - as the unicorn proceeds to have a staring match with him that is nothing short of feeling like his soul's under some kinda laser vision.

-- and then the thing just gently boofs his entire face with its nose, and like, what is he even supposed to do with that. ]

Uh. Hey there.

[ MICHAEL MELL: CERTIFIED MAIDEN ]

[ There's a part of Yosano that is honestly a little sad that Michael didn't get hurt. There were so few people here that she's been able to treat properly, and can you talk about boring?? However! This part is quickly brushed aside by the pure, unadulterated amusement she feels in her very core.

Michael will, undoubtedly, hear the distinct sound of a smart phone taking a picture behind the bushes. And if he looks over, there's even an obligatory thumbs up she sticks up for him.

...It's probably fine. ]

[ he looks over at the sound of that tell-tale smart phone camera noise, and makes sure to roll his eyes and stick his tongue out at Yosano, just to be immature.

of course, the unicorn hears it too, its ears twitching and head darting up to search for the source. Michael remembers, oh yeah, they had something to do here, and he should probably make sure that he keeps its attention now that they know for sure that he's unicorn-approved. ]

Hey-- [ how is he supposed to do this. he sits back so that he's a little more comfortable, then reaches out a cautious hand slowly to pet the animal's flank. ] This is gonna sound really weird, but if you just hold still a moment, I need to steal some of your hair.

[ yep, Yosano, you are witnessing this right, he sure is talking to the beast! in his defence, being around it is hella soothing. as the unicorn makes one of those snorty horse noises: ] It's totally for a good cause!

[ just gotta get a hand in its mane... wow that is the softest, sleekest hair he has ever touched in his life. like running his hands through liquid silk.

...... he might be getting a little bit distracted petting the unicorn, here. ]

[ Michael, please. She's enjoying this sick blackmail material, but also if this unicorn leaves before he grabs some hair, she'll handcuff him to a DAMN TREE!!!! She wonders if she can feel her glaring from behind the bushes? She sure hopes so.

She looks around briefly, grabbing a stray acorn nearby to chuck over the bushes to, hopefully, hit Michael and not the unicorn. She succeeds, but hopefully Michael can feel the soft thunk against that dumb jacket of his. ]

--Ow.

[ okay, it didn't actually hurt really, but it sure startled him enough to snap him out of it. okay, okay, therapy animal time is over. he twists his fingers around as small an amount of hair as he can before pulling sharply, coming away with a couple of pearly-white strands of hair.

the unicorn makes a short sound of displeasure, because hey, what gives. ] Sorry, buddy. I got an impatient party member waiting back there.

[ he gives his new friend one last pat on the flank ("Happy trails, my guy!") before getting to his feet and turning back to the bushes, brandishing his new quest item. ]

Check it! Mission accomplished. [ beat. ] You sure you don't wanna give it a try?

[ PLAY NOT WITH FIRE, YOUNG NERD ]

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