awashlogs | [ OPEN? CLOSED? ] as you die, you will understand.

WHO: dextera + others! i’m open to anyone but please tell me by PM or at

pavaal if they haven’t had at least like, one conversation.

WHAT: dextera forces himself to face all the people he bailed on after dying.

WHERE: the town!

WHEN: forward dated to late june, and probably the 1st and 2nd of july.

WARNINGS: death death death

[ for the first time, dextera wakes up from death to a sky that isn’t red. it’s all as grey as the world around him, and slowly, the memories return to him—the bogeyman, his brother, the feeling of his very soul being taken from his body. then, there’s a long expanse of nothing. now, his consciousness has returned.

he keeps out of the way at first in this sketchy body, staying private, staying safe with a friend he’s sure won’t tell—there are things he’s not ready to talk about, and faces he’s not ready to see. after a few days have passed, though, and his features reform, color returns, and his voice continues to stay just out of reach, he can finally be seen around town again.

he saw the post. he knows guren announced his death. he’s just hoping that no one will ask about it, if they see him. ]

...

[ as ever, he's silent. ]

( i'll be posting closed prompts in the comments for people who want them, otherwise... go HOG WILD. )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...Not really.

[A shrug.] But it's alright. I'm making it. [Slowly, and maybe not in the best way.]

But that's why I'm worried about you. [And John and Dave, when they return.]

I’ve died before.

[ dextera doesn’t know about john and dave, though—they’re both deities, aren’t they? in some sense. maybe they have immortality. maybe they’ve died before, as well. but akira is just a person, laid low in secret by bad timing and a gunshot. ]

I—can help.

[ is that true? he doesn’t know. but he feels like he should offer it. ]

You... what?

[He asks, not because he's confused about what Dextera is trying to tell him, but because it's so hard to believe. He's died before... here? Back home?

Is he... like Akechi?]

And you... remember?

[To Akira, that's the worst part.]

I'm sorry.

[ dextera nods, but he wants to quickly assuage akira’s worries about him—he’s died before, but he’s fine. isn’t that so much better than dying and not being fine? ]

I die and come back. That is my life, at home.

[ not immortal, just cursed. ]

...That... sounds rough.

[Akira doesn't know what else to say to that, so that's what he says. Dextera seems like he's fine with that, at least outwardly, but Akira doesn't know how.]

How do you get past it, every time?

[ it’s not easy, to die. dextera is used to it, but that doesn’t mean he enjoys it, or seeks it out—it just feels like a consequence as much as anything else. if you go out in the sun too long, you’ll get sunburnt. if you put your life on the line, you’ll die. the difference for dextera is that a sunburn lasts longer. ]

You remember. [ a pause. ] You have things you must do.

[Things he must do... that's right. He has to get back to the other Phantom Thieves, decide what they're going to do now that Shido has had his change of heart. He needs to be there for Haru, still reeling from her father's death. He has people he has to take care of, and for them, he needs to keep going.

...Still...]

Maybe it would be better if someone else did them.

[Someone who doesn't get bit by werewolves, and then shot by someone he knew was dangerous.]

…

[ it reminds dextera of himself, in a way. surely there are people who are smarter, better, more well-equipped than he is to save the world… but the ugly truth is that even if there are, dextera is the one who has to do it. it may be the same for akira. ]

Maybe. [ and yet— ] But you’re the only one who can.

[Is he?

No one else is a Wildcard - no one but Akechi, anyway, and he's... indisposed. But Makoto is better at planning, and they have Futaba to navigate, and Morgana who knows all about the Metaverse, or at least thinks he does.

And yet... he's the leader. He's the center of the group.]

...Jury's still out on that, I guess. [But he sounds less resistant than a moment ago.]

Either way... I want to be there to help my team.

[ dextera doesn’t know if he’s helping or not—he doesn’t know akira well enough to say. he thinks some kind of tide is turning, though, so he nods in gentle encouragement when akira at least admits to wanting to return to his team. ]

You didn’t want to die.

[ a guess, and dextera quickly turns it into a question to avoid making assumptions. ]

?

No.

[He didn't want to die, and he doesn't want to remember that it happened.

He wishes it would go away.]

But I did.

[ it’s a brutal way to go, being shot. dextera hasn’t yet experienced it, since none of the meta-beings in the tower use guns as such, but he’s been torn apart, been impaled, been burned and exploded and frozen—and yet, being shot by someone here in this town seems just as painful as any of those. who would have done it?

dextera nods, frowning in sympathy, and then… he reaches out, asking for akira’s hand. ]

[Akira hesitates for a moment, not sure what Dextera wants. He trusts the other man not to do anything to hurt him, but right now touch feels harder than it should.

He only hesitates a moment, though, before giving in, reaching out and putting his hand in Dextera's, watching his face.]

[ it’s nothing at all, really. dextera has just learned the value of touch at a moment like this, when he’s been deprived of it nearly his whole life. just knowing someone else is there can be enough to ease his heart at the worst of times. ]

…

[ he exhales softly, covering akira’s hand, so that it’s now held between both of dextera’s own. just… held there, while dextera silently urges akira to take a moment of peace for himself as well. ]

[Ah...

It's... nice. It is nice, to be alive, to know there are people here waiting for him, people here willing to just... let him be, like this.

Akira inhales, and then exhales slowly, and then he smiles, just a little.]

Thanks.

[ dextera doesn’t push him back, but he loosens, somewhat, the grip he had on akira’s hand. he knows that sometimes, all that’s necessary is just a little bit of comfort, a silence that isn’t lonely.

he nods, returning akira’s smile. ]

I’ll always listen.

[He smiles a little bigger at that.]

Thanks for that too.

[There's a pause, while he lets his hand rest in Dextera's for a moment longer, before finally pulling back.]

If you want to talk to me, I'm listening, too.

[It's the one thing he's really good at: listening.]

I will.

[ dextera wants that. he’d like to become better friends with akira—though he’s not sure what they can talk about, akira has always been kind to him, and this makes him only more certain that akira is someone worth protecting. he, too, is a precious friend that dextera has made in this town. ]

Please, take care of yourself.

I will. You do the same.

[At least he knows Guren will care for Dextera; he was beating himself up over it harshly over the last few days. But they'll be okay, now.]

You have people who care about you, too.

[ OPEN? CLOSED? ] as you die, you will understand.

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