[ OPEN? CLOSED? ] as you die, you will understand.

[passio]

WHO: dextera + others! i’m open to anyone but please tell me by PM or at pavaal if they haven’t had at least like, one conversation.

WHAT: dextera forces himself to face all the people he bailed on after dying.

WHERE: the town!

WHEN: forward dated to late june, and probably the 1st and 2nd of july.

WARNINGS: death death death

[ for the first time, dextera wakes up from death to a sky that isn’t red. it’s all as grey as the world around him, and slowly, the memories return to him—the bogeyman, his brother, the feeling of his very soul being taken from his body. then, there’s a long expanse of nothing. now, his consciousness has returned.

he keeps out of the way at first in this sketchy body, staying private, staying safe with a friend he’s sure won’t tell—there are things he’s not ready to talk about, and faces he’s not ready to see. after a few days have passed, though, and his features reform, color returns, and his voice continues to stay just out of reach, he can finally be seen around town again.

he saw the post. he knows guren announced his death. he’s just hoping that no one will ask about it, if they see him. ]

...

[ as ever, he's silent. ]


( i'll be posting closed prompts in the comments for people who want them, otherwise... go HOG WILD. )

Comments

[queenofminiskirts]

[She hadn't stayed at the house with Ryo so much the last little while, opting to spend more time sleeping over with Shiho even though she knew it meant Kyrie going off to stay with Caramia. But that was fine. Just for a little bit...she will apologize for Kyrie another day.

She hadn't cried, though she had wanted to. But there had been other people who needed her and for their sake, she had tried to keep smiling.

But then she spots Dex while she was out and about, moving supplies to a supply depot and she drops everything, the boxes making a heavy thunk on the ground before she launches herself at him the way only a psychokinetic could: with great speed but surprisingly soft impact.]

You idiot! [Was not actually what she meant to say first but there you go. Maybe it's softened by the way she was holding him a bit tighter than necessary.]

[passio]

Ah—!

[ dextera has been called an idiot by angry girls before, and so it doesn’t sting much when she’s also hugging him like this—kaoru, kaoru. he needs to apologize to shiho, too, and it’s incredible how many people he’s realizing might have worried about him while he was gone.

he’s made so many friends, and he doesn’t want to leave any of them ever again. ]

K…

[queenofminiskirts]

[She probably shouldn't have started with that because now she's sniffling and there are tears running down her cheeks she can't even try to hide. She had been holding them back so long and now he was back and he looked fine and just...

She's just so glad but her breathing is hitching and it makes everything she says come out garbled when she tried to talk especially because she's trying not to start sobbing. She tries anyway.]

'M so g-glad you're 'kay...we were s-so worried...

[passio]

Ah…

[ oh no… she’s really, really crying. they’re not just silent tears like izuku, and it seems like one person should not be able to hold all that water in their bodies. he’d cringe away if it were any other moment with anyone else, but as it stands, he just feels…

bad. he feels bad for making her cry like this.

slightly panicked, he lifts the tail of his coat near her face, offering her a kind of tissue if she wants to take it. he doesn’t even care if it gets snotty. ]

[queenofminiskirts]

[Kaoru has always felt everything too strongly, and this was no exception. Her lips are noticeably wobbling as she grabs the offered coat tail and blows her nose on it.]

You dummy! [Sounded a lot less upset than before.] Don't scare everybody like that again!

[passio]

[ oh—she’s mad again? dextera doesn’t know how to deal with this kind of person, even if she is a lot like alice in that he’s completely baffled by the extremity of her emotional reactions. ]

Um…

[ a genuine noise of uncertainty, even as he’s still holding his coat for her. ]

Sorry.

[queenofminiskirts]

[It's just been one of those weeks, Dex. Don't mind her too much as she finally lets herself feel something instead of just bottling it up and smiling through it.

She's annoyed that he's apologizing for dying but that's probably because she keeps shouting at him, she knows that much now that she's calmed down a little.

She's still crying but she's at least trying to get that under control. Now that she's blown her nose on his coat she's not sure she should touch her eyes with it anymore so she lets that go. Then she just leans forward to wrap him up in a hug, pressing her face against his chest.

She'll talk again when she manages to get her emotions under something like control again.]

[passio]

[ dextera is not especially well-equipped to deal with any of this, but at least he knows that if she’s hugging him, he can put his arms around her and treat that like enough. he doesn’t care if his coat is dirty or his shirt gets wet—and if she’s coming in for round two of a hug, he can try to be better. ]

…

[ this time, he really squeezes her, as much an apology as the one he just said. ]

[queenofminiskirts]

[She holds onto him until she feels like the tears have subsided. But even then she doesn't let go. So her voice is a bit muffled as she speaks.]

Have you gone to see Guren-san? [Because he had been a wreck after Dex died.]

[passio]

[ dextera has most certainly gone to see guren, and that went better than he could have ever, ever, ever imagined… but kaoru doesn’t need to know the entirety of how things went down. he nods. ]

You helped him?

[ signed against her, which is easy enough when the sign is simple. as long as she feels it, she can understand. ]

[queenofminiskirts]

I'm glad.

[And that was it, really. She didn't need to know anymore details because even she could tell that Guren had been really, really upset by how things turned out and she's sure whatever happened when they were reunited could only have helped.]

...I did. [Pause.] I'm not sure it was enough but...I did what I could.

[passio]

[ anything helps. he doesn’t know how to convey that.

slowly, carefully, he pulls away from her—not because he doesn’t want to stay close but because there’s something important he wants to tell her, and she needs to see his hands for that. ]

You were there.

[ that’s all that matters. ]

[queenofminiskirts]

[She was determined not to cry again but it's hard when she sees him sign that. She scrubs her eyes roughly.]

But I couldn't...I ended up being the one who had to be reassured.

[passio]

[ dextera shakes his head. ]

That’s what makes you special. [ he doesn’t have all the signs for this, so forgive him that he goes slow and his sentences are peppered with him trying to spell the things he doesn’t know to say. ] You care.

[ she cares so much, even though dextera is just… a burden. ]

[queenofminiskirts]

[Honestly, it doesn't feel like anything special. Caring was just...something people did. And she had never saved anyone by simply caring.

No, that was a lie. And she knew she was just being stupid. Caring had saved Bullet and every other esper that had been brainwashed by Black Phantom. Caring had helped Yuuri see that she needed to change. Caring had saved her, Shiho and Aoi.

But even so.]

It just feels like I should be able to do more than that. I don't always want to be a child who needs to be protected.

[passio]

[ it’s strange, but certainly preferable, that dextera would be the one to console kaoru about her worth after everything—after his whole life of feeling completely worthless, and this town making him feel like he has some use, it seems only right to return the favor. ]

You’re doing something now.

[queenofminiskirts]

What? Crying on you? [She was laughing at least, even if the sound was a bit wet at the moment.]

[passio]

Heh.

[ dextera can’t help but laugh too, since kaoru seems to need the humor, but then he shakes his head. ]

You helped Guren. You are helping me. [ how can he explain this?

kaoru wants to do more than she has, but she’s already done so much—just by being herself. by worrying about him. he’s so grateful for that it’s almost impossible to say it. ]

You became my friend.

[queenofminiskirts]

[There is never going to be a time when Kaoru won't wish she could do more. It was an unfortunate flaw of her nature as well as one of her greater strengths.

But she thinks...she understands. At least, a little bit.]

...I was glad to do that. All of it.