awashlogs | [ OPEN? CLOSED? ] as you die, you will understand.

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[ OPEN? CLOSED? ] as you die, you will understand.

WHO: dextera + others! i’m open to anyone but please tell me by PM or at

pavaal if they haven’t had at least like, one conversation.

WHAT: dextera forces himself to face all the people he bailed on after dying.

WHERE: the town!

WHEN: forward dated to late june, and probably the 1st and 2nd of july.

WARNINGS: death death death

[ for the first time, dextera wakes up from death to a sky that isn’t red. it’s all as grey as the world around him, and slowly, the memories return to him—the bogeyman, his brother, the feeling of his very soul being taken from his body. then, there’s a long expanse of nothing. now, his consciousness has returned.

he keeps out of the way at first in this sketchy body, staying private, staying safe with a friend he’s sure won’t tell—there are things he’s not ready to talk about, and faces he’s not ready to see. after a few days have passed, though, and his features reform, color returns, and his voice continues to stay just out of reach, he can finally be seen around town again.

he saw the post. he knows guren announced his death. he’s just hoping that no one will ask about it, if they see him. ]

...

[ as ever, he's silent. ]

( i'll be posting closed prompts in the comments for people who want them, otherwise... go HOG WILD. )

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[...Completely healed. He died, and now he's back, perfectly healthy--

In body, at least.

Minato's sure that even if Dextera's gone through it before, dying is never entirely easy... but still. For now, maybe they should just hold onto the small blessings.]

I'm really...really glad.

[A soft breath out, and:]

Thank you for coming back to all of us. [He knows it wasn't completely up to Dextera, and yet... Dextera's still here. That's something to thank him for, Minato thinks.]

[ maybe dextera would have stayed away, if he had the choice. dying seems like a needed respite from all that he’s been through, but the way minato speaks makes it seem like dextera would have been well and truly missed. ]

…

[ he doesn’t want minato to feel that way. he doesn’t want anyone to miss him. ]

Thank you for waiting.

That's the thing...

[Minato murmurs that softly, expression quietly rueful, almost. As if he's just now seeing this from the other side, finally, after all of this time.]

... I'll always wait for you. Because... that's the choice I've made in being your friend. And since it's my choice...

[Minato squeezes Dextera's hand, still gently held in his own, quietly.]

Please don't feel too guilty about what happened, or about how I feel right now.

[ there’s something to this conversation that dextera can’t put his finger on—something minato isn’t telling him, but something dextera doesn’t want to force out of him at such tender, peaceful moment. although he sees some kind of empathy in minato’s expression, it’s not his business. not until minato wants to share it. ]

…

[ he’s just going to take minato’s hand, and guide them right down to sit on the floor. even months into living here, he doesn’t vibe with things like chairs or beds. ]

…I told you, I died before. Many times. Innumerable times. Always, he said— [ dextera gives no name here, only vaguely a “he” ] —“I’m tired of your face.”

[And sit on the floor Minato will contentedly do, sitting crosslegged and face to face with Dextera.

... But honestly, what a miserable situation that must be. To die, over and over again, with no comfort to be coming afterwards, with only words like that...

Minato frowns, but quietly. It's not really his place to say anything about whoever that mysterious "he" was; he's just not that sort of person. He's more concerned with Dextera either way.]

... Things are different here.

[He finally settles on that, breathing out a soft sigh.]

So many people have gotten to know you, here. The person you are, here. [Minato leans over, gently tapping Dextera's chest, over his heart.]

And... this is how they're reacting to you being gone.

[Because they love him, no matter what Dextera thinks of himself, no matter how that mysterious "he" referred to him. The people here care, and they always, always will.]

[ minato is younger than him, but he feels centuries older with that kind of maturity—it’s the same comfort dextera took in the presence of the absolute god. even with the archangel’s commands resounding through his whole body, seeing her there felt something like coming home. minato’s words, too, ease the pain of his memories. ]

…

[ dextera sighs softly, closing his eyes, trying to memorize the sound of minato’s comfort, and the feeling of that tap against his chest. it kills him, to think that someone like minato could have been wiped out by his own foolish mistake. minato deserves to live far more than dextera ever has.

things are different here, but even so…

dextera holds minato’s hand, not saying anything, just taking it and letting it rest in his lap while he considers this. he remembers the skeleton they buried together, and minato’s gentle care for something dextera didn’t spare a second thought for. the body was something to be looted, for survival, and yet minato had the kindness to want to let it rest. ]

[Minato's never minded the silence. He imagines Dextera has a lot to contemplate... and he's content with that. He just holds Dextera's hand in return, sitting there peacefully, his other hand still tucked in his pocket even though that can't possibly be the most comfortable position to have it while sitting crosslegged.

Some habits never change.

But talking to Dextera reminds Minato in a lot of ways of talking to Aigis. Positive that he has a single purpose and that nothing else matters. Tentative, when it comes to matters that are so far outside of his own experiences.

But still... still, so sweet, so full of emotion, right? Just like Aigis was, even if she had had so much trouble acknowledging it.

Some things don't need to be pursued immediately. He's said his piece, and now he's content to just sit here, and allow Dextera's presence comfort him in return. Dextera's back--he died, but he's back now, and selfishly, for Minato, he thinks that's enough. He doesn't want to lose anyone else.]

[ it’s silly, the thing that occurs to him next, but maybe silly isn’t such a bad thing after a heavy conversation.

dextera squeezes minato’s hand to get his attention, and then stands up, letting their fingers come apart gently. he’s never had a friend like this before, someone so quiet and understanding—he appreciates everyone he’s met here, but minato feels special for a reason he can’t place. ]

Do you like hot chocolate?

[... Oh. Minato blinks slowly, tilting his head. Maybe it's a bit of a silly question, but it's nice, too. That Dextera can immediately jump to a topic like this...

(He thinks Dextera will be okay.)]

I do... do you have some? [He wasn't expecting that, but it's kind of nice that Dextera managed to come across something like that.]

[ dextera… will be fine, as long as he’s sure everyone else is fine, too. it’s always been like that, worrying more about the trouble he causes to others than he’s ever worried for himself. ]

A quest reward.

[ now seems like a nice time for something like that, doesn’t it? ]

There’s color.

[Oooh... That's a pretty nice reward.]

That's something good... what quest was it, do you know?

[He's not sure, Dextera could've been questing like a fiend all this time.]

[ based on the way things have worked out… dextera would guess that it’s a reward for sharing those terrible memories. he hasn’t made the connection between a cozy drink and a bad day, but the point is that he did get something good. so he’s going to move over toward the kitchen, which is not that far from the entrance in this house, and he shows minato the packet of hot chocolate mix.

he has more than this, because he is a questing fiend. ]

The memory quest. [ a beat. ] I think.

Oh, I see.

[That explains a lot, he thinks; his tone is peaceful though. He did a lot of listening in that quest, but not a lot of sharing; that's probably why he didn't receive a reward, which is fair enough.

He doesn't mind it, either way.

For now, he follows along, peering at the hot cocoa.]

Thanks for sharing your reward with me. I can't remember the last time I had hot cocoa.

[ it does make him realize that minato never says much about himself. so many of his friends from home have disappeared, dextera knows that, but minato carries on as always.

ryoji was the one who stayed the longest, and even he… ]

First time.

[ he received the hot chocolate, but he’s never actually had it before… all he knows is that it’s sweet, but even the taste of chocolate isn’t familiar to him. ]

[Oh..... That makes it even more exciting, he thinks.]

They gave you something to try for the first time... it's supposed to be kind of a comfort thing too, right?

A warm and sweet beverage, I mean.

[Or maybe Minato's just being a bit too optimistic...? Still, he'd like to think so.]

Then, it’s perfect.

[ there’s a tea he can distantly remember the archangel liking… but something floral like that, warm or not, was never to his taste. but it’s not like anyone can make any drink now, in a world where no pure water exists anymore.

whatever reward dextera got here, he would appreciate it for the novelty alone, but “sweet” is a flavor he’s rapidly coming to appreciate above all others. he’s just going to heat up some water, because this would not be a house ignis frequents if it didn’t have some kind of rigged up contraption for a quick fire in the kitchen. ]

Comfort. Necessary.

[That just gets a quiet nod out of him; he won't argue that, when he thinks the same exact thing. Having a small source of comfort to turn to is important at the best of times. In a place like this? It's kind of an invaluable gift.

So while Minato won't deny Dextera making a cup for both of them...]

You're right. You should save this for when you need it, Dextera-san. It might help more than you'd expect.

Haha.

[ surprising even himself, he laughs, and then he quickly covers his mouth in embarrassment while he waits for the water to heat. it’s just… funny. it’s funny, that he came back from the dead less than a week ago and that should be exactly the kind of thing that requires comfort, but both he and minato seem to regard it as not yet a “hot chocolate is needed” level of distress.

his fingers still over his mouth, he shakes his head, and signs with his free hand. ]

Want to drink. With you.

[Look... Look.

Sometimes death's not that bad after all... besides, Dextera laughed about it and that makes Minato smile, a warmer expression. Because in all honesty:]

It's good to hear you laugh.

[But you know?]

If that's what you want, then I'm happy with it too--honestly, thank you, Dextera-san.

[ dextera wants to laugh more.

there were a lot of things he thought, in those last moments—death had felt so final, facing the bogeyman, and dextera thought of all the things he hadn’t yet gotten to do just before there was nothing to think at all. he wants to keep having moments like this, moments where a laugh just escapes him because he feels safe enough that his guard is down. ]

…

[ he doesn’t laugh again, but he lets himself smile as he pours the water over the mix. it’s nice. to do this kind of thing now, and to think about doing it again in the future. ]

Friends.

[It really is as simple as that, isn't it?

Friends. They're friends, and friends do things like enjoying hot chocolate together. That's all it really takes--and so he smiles, humming softly to himself, and nods.]

... Yeah, you're right. This sort of thing... it's even better shared with friends anyway.

[ so that’s exactly what they’ll do. dextera doesn’t need or want to say anything else of his death—he’s back, and dwelling on it will only hurt worse when their conversation has shifted to something so pleasant.

instead, with the hot chocolate prepared and set on a table, dextera simply wants minato to catch him up—he’s only been gone about a week, but a week could contain a multitude of events in this town. and even if nothing has happened? dextera would like to hear that, too. ]

[The hot cocoa is really something special. It's something so simple, but... after not having it for so long, a warm drink like this is so soothing.

So with the cup held in both hands, Minato can contentedly pick up that cue.]

I think everyone's been recovering from the werewolves. It's been pretty quiet... which isn't a bad thing.

[He's still worried--about the casualties, about Guren, about Dave and John and everything else that happened, but...

But things are looking up a little, too.]

Everyone's going to be okay.

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[ OPEN? CLOSED? ] as you die, you will understand.

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