Y'know no one here is gonna let you do that, right?
[You're their fearless leader! They all care about you too much for that!
Rin gets it, though. How many times has he taken a hit, gone against an enemy, put himself up as a shield to protect his friends? He always gets told not to, that his friends are there with him for a reason, but he knows it's a damn hard habit to break.
He sighs and hands the food over to Nyx, shaking his head in somber understanding.]
I know you don't wanna hurt anyone else, but if you go out there what's gonna keep you from comin' back when you ain't in your right mind? 'least here we might have a way of keepin' an eye on you.
[He lifts his gaze to the sky as if asking 'why god?', but takes the offered food with a smile. Maybe if he eats enough now he won't want to snack on someone later.]
Guess I can't argue with your logic. Just figured if I ran far enough I wouldn't be able to find my way back as a wolf.
Stop being smart, kid. I'm supposed to be able to think circles around you.
[He laughs, quietly grateful that there are people here willing to keep him from sinking into the dark moods he occasionally wants to sulk in. He starts to eat, the meal better than anything he could have made, and steadfastly ignores how unsatisfying it feels in his stomach.]
Me? Smart? You're gettin' me mixed up with my brother.
[He says it with a lopsided smile, feeling just a little proud for a moment that someone actually considered him smart.
But you can think circles around him when you're not preoccupied with the desire to chew on people, buddy.
Rin tries to focus on his own food, but he just winds up picking at it as the conversation trails off. All joking aside he can't help but feel somber about the whole situation.
It really felt like they were in trouble this time.]
If I knew your brother you might have a case against me, but I don't. [So there.]
[He eats woodenly for a few moments, more to get it over with than anything else, and then watches Rin's expression for a little longer. Man, he's supposed to be the one feeling like shit, not Rin. Sighing to himself, he sets aside a mostly empty bowl and slides closer to lightly tap Rin's calf with his boot.]
Hey, it's gonna work out. We're an efficient bunch of people. If nothing else I'm sure those of us who were bitten can be stranded in the lake until you guys figure it out.
[The nudge makes Rin's tail twitch, a slight startle after being lost in his thoughts. He tries to give his own reassuring smile like he isn't absolutely wrapped up in his own worries and fears about the situation. Demons were what he knew how to deal with, not the shit this town kept throwing at them.
The smile wavers before the expression is fully realized. He sighed and dropped his head, shaking it slowly.]
You're efficient. I barely know what the word means. I'm just some dumb kid with a sword who's way in over his head in this place.
[Nyx shakes his head and moves to sling an arm over Rin's shoulders.]
I don't make a habit of holding people to my level. I would hope most people here haven't spent the last twelve years fighting a war. I'm exceptional by necessity. [There's no ego in the remark. He busted his ass to do what he can do, and if he'd had any choice in the matter he'd be soft and comfortable back home untouched by battle.]
But at the end of the day you aren't doing this alone, either. We're all over our heads here; no one expects you to shoulder it all by yourself.
Well, no... [He's only sixteen after all. He'd be like... four when that started. Even if Nyx doesn't exactly take pride in his record, though, Rin is quietly impressed.] Just my exorcist training for the past year.
[He lets a faint scoff escape at the last thing.]
I know. I heard that all the time back home, too. Sometimes I can't help tryin' to take on a lotta shit on my own, though, y'know? I don't want anyone to get hurt if I can help it, and I can take a lotta hits that would probably kill others.
That's honorable, but sometimes battles aren't that pretty. You get further relying on each other than you do trying to protect everyone with you. If your companions are capable, then trust them to know what they're doing. Save the protecting for civilians.
[Though he can at least relate to being durable as hell. It's something he's also accustomed to using to his advantage.
But he's not here to scold, that would be hypocritical. So changing the subject it is!]
Heh. I know, I know. I get that shit all the time from my friends. "Stop tryin' to be a hero, Rin!", "Stop usin' yourself as a shield, Rin!". I get it, I do know better, but I'm not always thinkin' in the moment.
[He is trying to get better about it, though.]
Eh? Oh uh. We deal with demons-- well, we're trainin' to deal with them, but that doesn't stop the annoying ass headmaster from sendin' our class out on dangerous missions. Mephisto is a serious pain in my tail...
[But this isn't time to complain about a certain Demon King of Time who also happens to be their headmaster.]
Anyway, I'm trainin' to be a Knight. My brother is already certified Dragoon and Doctor. Suguro is gonna be an Aria and... Dragoon I think. There's also Tamer. I might go for Tamer, too? I already have a familiar, Kuro. He's just not here with me right now.
[He feels a little like when he was twenty and first arriving to Insomnia. So many cultural things thrown at him that sounded like an entirely different language. He gets the basic idea, for all he has no clue what an "Aria" is, and he can definitely get behind anything that deals with daemons.]
[Sometimes he forgets not everyone knows those terms.
He also forgets that he didn't know what any of it meant a year ago. It was rather amazing how quickly it all became second nature to him after fifteen years of having the truth of his birth hidden from him for so long.
He set aside his half-finished meal, unable to get much more than that down for the moment. Idly his hand chose to play with the faded tassel attached to the hilt of Kurikara, the weapon laying at his side in preparation for whatever might happen that night.]
My powers unsealed not even a year ago now. I didn't know what the hell I was gonna do with my life before then, but after Dad died it was the only thing I could think of. I didn't want anyone else to die for me like that and the only way I knew to do it was to become an exorcist like he'd been. I never even really thought of it as 'goin' against my own kind' cause in my head I wasn't demon or human, I was just me.
Uh. Guess... Guren didn't tell you about that part?
[He had no idea how much information had been passed around. Guren and Rin had naturally had a conversation about his abilities and heritage before Rin ever joined the Defense Force, but he hadn't bothered with saying much more to anyone else that he'd been teamed up with.]
Half and part demons are actually pretty common where I'm from? At least with exorcist families. One of my classmates is part of the family that's related to Byakko - er, that's a type of fox demon.
[He pauses there, sensing Nyx's uncertainty and wondering just how much he should go in to. If Satan didn't exist in Nyx's world then saying who his parentage was might not matter that much, but he also didn't want to freak him out further.]
However demons are where you're from, it's pretty different in Assiah. Not all demons are bad? A lotta them are allies with humans and some just wanna be left alone. There's plenty that cause trouble and we're pretty much at war with one'a the big wigs of the Demon Kings back home, but we've got plenty on our side that don't wanna see Assiah disappear just 'cause Lucifer has a weird hate boner for humans.
[His voice flattens out as he smothers the discomfort. Their worlds are vastly different, so naturally it stands to reason that so would the creatures that live in those worlds be. He spends a moment to breathe and school his emotions. Rin doesn't smell of the taint that some daemons carry around them like a plague, and those from home weren't even sentient. It's fine.
Nyx exhales and nods slowly, idly scratching at his wrist under the sleeve.]
I'll take your word for it. [He rolls right over that to return to safer ground. Something to revisit when he's got the time to really think. As it is the sun is nearly gone.] You'll have to tell me more sometime, when we're not under a deadline.
Rin's ears actually droop slightly at the tone, blue eyes shifting away to stare at something, anything else. Too familiar, that ache in his chest reminding him of those days when his friends were angry and not speaking to him.
He misses what Nyx's says next for it, though he picks up that he's being spoken to even if the words don't register.]
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[You're their fearless leader! They all care about you too much for that!
Rin gets it, though. How many times has he taken a hit, gone against an enemy, put himself up as a shield to protect his friends? He always gets told not to, that his friends are there with him for a reason, but he knows it's a damn hard habit to break.
He sighs and hands the food over to Nyx, shaking his head in somber understanding.]
I know you don't wanna hurt anyone else, but if you go out there what's gonna keep you from comin' back when you ain't in your right mind? 'least here we might have a way of keepin' an eye on you.
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[He lifts his gaze to the sky as if asking 'why god?', but takes the offered food with a smile. Maybe if he eats enough now he won't want to snack on someone later.]
Guess I can't argue with your logic. Just figured if I ran far enough I wouldn't be able to find my way back as a wolf.
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[Rin snickers at that, good natured and fully understanding. Damn friends, being all concerned and what not]
You've probably got some crazy senses when you're like that. It'd probably lead you back to wherever "food" is.
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[He laughs, quietly grateful that there are people here willing to keep him from sinking into the dark moods he occasionally wants to sulk in. He starts to eat, the meal better than anything he could have made, and steadfastly ignores how unsatisfying it feels in his stomach.]
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[He says it with a lopsided smile, feeling just a little proud for a moment that someone actually considered him smart.
But you can think circles around him when you're not preoccupied with the desire to chew on people, buddy.
Rin tries to focus on his own food, but he just winds up picking at it as the conversation trails off. All joking aside he can't help but feel somber about the whole situation.
It really felt like they were in trouble this time.]
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[He eats woodenly for a few moments, more to get it over with than anything else, and then watches Rin's expression for a little longer. Man, he's supposed to be the one feeling like shit, not Rin. Sighing to himself, he sets aside a mostly empty bowl and slides closer to lightly tap Rin's calf with his boot.]
Hey, it's gonna work out. We're an efficient bunch of people. If nothing else I'm sure those of us who were bitten can be stranded in the lake until you guys figure it out.
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The smile wavers before the expression is fully realized. He sighed and dropped his head, shaking it slowly.]
You're efficient. I barely know what the word means. I'm just some dumb kid with a sword who's way in over his head in this place.
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I don't make a habit of holding people to my level. I would hope most people here haven't spent the last twelve years fighting a war. I'm exceptional by necessity. [There's no ego in the remark. He busted his ass to do what he can do, and if he'd had any choice in the matter he'd be soft and comfortable back home untouched by battle.]
But at the end of the day you aren't doing this alone, either. We're all over our heads here; no one expects you to shoulder it all by yourself.
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[He lets a faint scoff escape at the last thing.]
I know. I heard that all the time back home, too. Sometimes I can't help tryin' to take on a lotta shit on my own, though, y'know? I don't want anyone to get hurt if I can help it, and I can take a lotta hits that would probably kill others.
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[Though he can at least relate to being durable as hell. It's something he's also accustomed to using to his advantage.
But he's not here to scold, that would be hypocritical. So changing the subject it is!]
Tell me about exorcist training. What do you do?
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[He is trying to get better about it, though.]
Eh? Oh uh. We deal with demons-- well, we're trainin' to deal with them, but that doesn't stop the annoying ass headmaster from sendin' our class out on dangerous missions. Mephisto is a serious pain in my tail...
[But this isn't time to complain about a certain Demon King of Time who also happens to be their headmaster.]
Anyway, I'm trainin' to be a Knight. My brother is already certified Dragoon and Doctor. Suguro is gonna be an Aria and... Dragoon I think. There's also Tamer. I might go for Tamer, too? I already have a familiar, Kuro. He's just not here with me right now.
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Sounds like an important job.
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He also forgets that he didn't know what any of it meant a year ago. It was rather amazing how quickly it all became second nature to him after fifteen years of having the truth of his birth hidden from him for so long.
He set aside his half-finished meal, unable to get much more than that down for the moment. Idly his hand chose to play with the faded tassel attached to the hilt of Kurikara, the weapon laying at his side in preparation for whatever might happen that night.]
My powers unsealed not even a year ago now. I didn't know what the hell I was gonna do with my life before then, but after Dad died it was the only thing I could think of. I didn't want anyone else to die for me like that and the only way I knew to do it was to become an exorcist like he'd been. I never even really thought of it as 'goin' against my own kind' cause in my head I wasn't demon or human, I was just me.
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His lips thin out and he tenses. Surely Rin doesn't mean actual daemons. He knows their worlds are different, but... daemons.]
What?
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Uh. Guess... Guren didn't tell you about that part?
[He had no idea how much information had been passed around. Guren and Rin had naturally had a conversation about his abilities and heritage before Rin ever joined the Defense Force, but he hadn't bothered with saying much more to anyone else that he'd been teamed up with.]
Half and part demons are actually pretty common where I'm from? At least with exorcist families. One of my classmates is part of the family that's related to Byakko - er, that's a type of fox demon.
[He pauses there, sensing Nyx's uncertainty and wondering just how much he should go in to. If Satan didn't exist in Nyx's world then saying who his parentage was might not matter that much, but he also didn't want to freak him out further.]
However demons are where you're from, it's pretty different in Assiah. Not all demons are bad? A lotta them are allies with humans and some just wanna be left alone. There's plenty that cause trouble and we're pretty much at war with one'a the big wigs of the Demon Kings back home, but we've got plenty on our side that don't wanna see Assiah disappear just 'cause Lucifer has a weird hate boner for humans.
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[His voice flattens out as he smothers the discomfort. Their worlds are vastly different, so naturally it stands to reason that so would the creatures that live in those worlds be. He spends a moment to breathe and school his emotions. Rin doesn't smell of the taint that some daemons carry around them like a plague, and those from home weren't even sentient. It's fine.
Nyx exhales and nods slowly, idly scratching at his wrist under the sleeve.]
I'll take your word for it. [He rolls right over that to return to safer ground. Something to revisit when he's got the time to really think. As it is the sun is nearly gone.] You'll have to tell me more sometime, when we're not under a deadline.
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[Awkward.
Rin's ears actually droop slightly at the tone, blue eyes shifting away to stare at something, anything else. Too familiar, that ache in his chest reminding him of those days when his friends were angry and not speaking to him.
He misses what Nyx's says next for it, though he picks up that he's being spoken to even if the words don't register.]