awashlogs | issa may catchall

[The urge to look over at him is suddenly overwhelming, and yet she somehow manages to keep her gaze fixed on the brightest star that she can see. Catching a psycho killer sounds so incredibly worrying? Or is this a silly exaggeration?? It's nice to have something to focus on other than the awkwardness, but... Okuyasu.]

You can't just say something like that. You have to explain it!

[Hurry up and give her the details!]

[No, it's cool!! It was dramatic and cool...! She's not looking at him, but he winces anyway. Oops.]

It's pretty much what it sounds like, I mean— there was this guy around town who killed people to get his kicks, and his bastard dad let him get away with it... [He trails off for a second, mood darkening. Obviously - there was a serial killer in his town, but hmm...

Well, she doesn't need to hear about elementary school kids getting murdered. That's too much. He should've stuck to talking about ice cream, he thinks.]

Anyway, we caught him in the end. [...] Sorry, I kinda got nothing but downers.

[So it wasn't a silly exaggeration after all. Yeah, now she jerks her attention over to him, brow furrowing with concern as she tries to ignore the fifty questions suddenly bouncing around her mind. The details are rather, um, sparse, but she recognizes that there must be a reason for that. And, well... concern always trumps curiosity, especially when he's apologizing...]

It's not your fault! You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. [She doesn't mind if he does, but that feels kind of selfish to throw out there, so.] It sounds rough, so I'm just... glad that you caught him, and that you're okay.

[Is he okay, though? Chasing a serial killer sounds emotionally taxing, and so she keeps a careful eye on the bit of his face that she can see.]

[This was the least upsetting thing he could think of to talk about that isn't more mundane Josuke facts, can you believe it... He shrugs, frowning now that he's really thinking about it. It's been only a few months and his little town isn't a lively place, so of course, when something like this happens it really sticks with a person. Local thug actually very sensitive...

He folds his arms over his stomach, which has nothing to do with anything, and certainly not any incredibly gory injuries. Hmm.]

Yeah, yeah— I'm okay, I guess. [mmm... mmm.] Now.

[ignore it]

[Maybe she should drop this? He doesn't look particularly eager to discuss this at any further length, but... this is the first time she's seen him look upset, and she can't help but to wonder why. And if there's even a chance that she can help one of her favorite people in this place...

Hmm. She silently watches him for a moment before deciding to just. Go for it.]

Okuyasu? [Her voice is very quiet, very soft. It's obvious that she's not going to push him for anything.] Can you tell me what happened?

[All things considered, he could just say no. He doesn't have to tell anybody anything, life is so much easier when he doesn't have to remember the things that hurt, that's always been how it's gone... And he doesn't want to upset her with this stuff.

But, well - talking to Dave about other things wasn't totally awful and Ochako is Ochako, so. So!! He makes a face just up at the sky, so like, if it weren't already obvious enough that Okuyasu Nijimura doesn't talk about his feelings, now it will be. How does he do this!]

You know how I got The Hand? That guy had a Stand too, and while we were fighting him I guess I got, uh... [He sort of, gestures. At his side. Clear??] Got a big hole blown in me?

[Yes, it's clear!! Ochako feels her chest tighten as her gaze drifts down to his side, because it's unfortunately very clear. Villains are capable of anything when they're backed into a corner, but unless he's exaggerating—which she doesn't believe at all—then his wound must have been similar to Sir Nigh—well, it must have been terrible. Absolutely awful. Okuyasu is here, though, and while she can't think of anything comforting to say, she wants to somehow let him know that... he doesn't need to say anything else, but that she understands the importance of what he has said? That she's here for him?

She's running on instinct, honestly, and that's why she doesn't feel the slightest bit embarrassed about reaching over and gently grabbing his nearest hand. This gesture is just... Ochako trying to be present for someone important to her. Her own version of the side hug, if you will, and she doesn't let go even as she looks back up into the sky.]

[Besides talking about his feelings, another thing Okuyasu has never grown accustomed to is people doing this, not just grabbing his hand—making the effort for him. He can count on his fingers the number of times somebody has put in the effort for him or cried over him or anything, so spare him the seconds it takes him to blink at her in surprise before he looks skyward again, too.

He squeezes her hand slightly because it seems like the right thing to do in this situation?! Thanks for caring about him, surely, and since he already opened this door he might as well make it a little less awful, so hurriedly he just keeps talking.]

Josuke patched me up right away, y'know? But I think I passed out, [or something, it's unclear,] 'cause I had this weird dream with my big bro in it, telling me to quit doing what people tell me to do... So I did? Then I woke up in some random house totally okay!

[See! There is a good ending!]

[She's holding on to his warm, living hand, but it's still oddly relieving to hear him end his story with a reminder that it was a near-death experience. Does she buy that he was—or is—totally okay after such an ordeal? Not really, no, but he's alive, and she focuses on that in an attempt to push her new questions to the side. Alive is... good. Alive is great, actually. Maybe it's a good idea for both of them to continue down this positive path!]

You were happy to be back, right? And I bet that Josuke was really happy to see you when you woke up. [Because friends, that's why. Now it's his hand that's being squeezed as she smiles over at him.] It probably wasn't easy to tell me all of that, but... thank you, Okuyasu. I'm glad that you're here.

[In... general.]

[Alive is goddamn fantastic, he would agree on that. Even the couple minutes he was either-unconscious-or-actually-dead were not great, and he's grateful every single day that Josuke can fix anything- anyone with just a tap.

Now, he'll get to her sap in a second--she's too sweet, he can barely look at her for more than a few seconds before he pulls a face and glances away again--but first:]

Josuke cried like a baby. True fact. Totally bawling. [Because it's easier to gently rib your friends than be completely honest with serious emotions in situations like these, and he's fine, so it's okay; surely Josuke will never find out. Josuke cried like a baby much more dramatically than, perhaps, Okuyasu is feeling the telltale pinpricks of tears about to well up. He's... so tough... He's suddenly looking in the complete opposite direction because he's tough, and not so touched by her words that he has to look away.

Definitely not that.]

[Ah, but there's only one real reason for him to refuse to look her way, isn't there? And it's an understandable reason, which is why she doesn't say a word as she shifts her eyes down to the hand still held tightly in her own. No one likes to feel vulnerable. It's uncomfortable, and embarrassing, and she's sure that Okuyasu wants her to just... stay there and keep pretending that she has no clue what's going on.

That, however, isn't how Ochako operates. Soon she's using her free hand to push herself up into a sitting position, facing forward as she scoots the tiniest bit closer to him and cradles his hand in between both of hers. Privacy and continued support: the two most comforting things that she can think to offer... aside from, like, a hug, but she's not going to tug him upright when he's trying so hard to act tough. If he breaks down, though...]

So? You cried, too, didn't you? [And now his hand gets a gentle pat.] There's nothing wrong with that.

[Yes, she knows that he wasn't really throwing Josuke under the bus, but. It's not like she said this for Josuke's benefit, anyway. Just let it out, Okuyasu??]

[That's the plan, really - for Ochako to sense without being told that it'd be great if she pretended this wasn't happening, just for another minute or so, until Okuyasu can control his own face and get back down to a normal emotional level. He should have known better but clearly did not, judging by the way he startles for a moment when she moves and super holds his hand. It's enough to get him to look back at her with his other hand half covering his face because he's sooo not crying.

Definitely not. He's a little teary. Fuck.]

I didn't— I'm not... [He trails off and mumbles something, possibly the most lackluster "shut up" in existence, because it's barely any actual words... He's trying. There may be a whole tear.]

[Ochako is trying as hard as she can to avoid looking at him, but she can't resist sneaking a peek his way once he speaks... which is, of course, a mistake. A big mistake, because while he's doing his best to hide behind his hand, the bit of his face that she can see tugs right at her heartstrings. Aw, Okuyasu. He's trying to save face, she knows, and he probably wants her to look literally anywhere else, but...

Nope. She's going to stay right where she is, flashing him a very small, yet very warm, smile as she lightly tugs on his hand. Her first approach clearly isn't helping things, and that means that it's time for him to sit UP!!]

Okuyasu, it's okay! And it's just me, so—

[What was it he said to her back when she was the one crying? Oh, right. She keeps one hand on his, but she holds her other arm out toward him.]

Bring it in?

[The longer she looks at him the more of a blubbering mess he becomes, so quickly enough the hand on his face is less to save face and more to wipe at his eyes as he gets... weepier. He made it this long without bursting into messy tears, which is actually a real feat! So there's a bright side!

But now it all hits him at once - nearly dying or whatever, the imaginary or maybe not conversation with his dead brother, the very real and tangible conga line of near-death experiences just from being around psychos with Stands when, honestly, they were not prepared for that... All of that, plus the way Ochako is so warm and kind to him? Not condescending, the way people usually are - his standards are pretty damn low, but even if he had normal standards she'd have exceeded expectations by now.

So jeez, okay, okay, he's sitting up, hand over his mouth which does nothing to stop the flow of tears, oh well; he looks her watery image like that for a few seconds before he laughs, actually, shaky but certainly a laugh. Don't quote him for something like this.]

Damn, you got me. [He will, in fact, bring it in, so now she can have the exciting experience of a big tough dude crying continuously on her shoulder. Hmm... hmm.]

It made me real lonely, having that weird dream about my big bro. [This he tells her shoulder, of course.] Then it was like nothing happened and I couldn't figure out what to say about it.

[The shoulder of her dress is going to be soaked through in two minutes flat, she can tell, but that doesn't bother her in the slightest; she just sits up as tall as she can, hoping to make this whole bending-down thing a bit more comfortable for him as she slips her arms around his sides. Being so close to him is... well, it's something, but she pointedly ignores that strange, fluttery feeling in her stomach and hones in on what he's saying. She can worry about her own feelings when she isn't, you know, trying to help him with his.]

That's not a bad thing. Sometimes it's really hard to explain how you feel, but... it's important to keep trying. [She tilts her head up to settle her chin more comfortably on his shoulder, because she's staying put until he pulls away.] What do you want to say about it now?

[He's so much taller than her... somehow he's making it work, and if he complains that his neck hurts later or something, well. Just let that slide. Or never talk about it again, because who knows how easy it will be to look her in the face for a day or so after crying on her—it's fine when she does it, she's Ochako, this is totally different.

That's as far as he gets on that front, at least; for now it feels completely natural to be close to her like this, sliding an arm loosely around her without thinking about it. This plus talking about his feelings makes him feel better - who knew! All he has to do is not think about how warm she is, or how this is, uh, a markedly more lingering hug than the last time—]

...Dunno. [He's never been good at this kind of thing on his own, and he knows that, but changing it is harder than just wanting to. Even here he's mostly been following everyone else's leads... Naturally, these aren't things he can articulate properly. Uh.] I guess I miss my bro sometimes.

[Has he mentioned, explicitly, his Dead Brother. This is the thread that keeps giving.]

[No, he most certainly has not mentioned that his brother is dead. She knows that he isn't the best person in the world, thanks to the family talk of ancient history, but she's still under the assumption that Okuyasu's big bro is out there somewhere. So he misses him... because they're in two completely different places, she thinks, and she doesn't see the harm in encouraging him to continue on.]

Do you want to tell me about him? You don't have to, though. It's fine if you want to talk about something else, or if you just want to sit here for a while.

[This is obviously hard for him, so she's not going to push him for anything that he isn't willing to give; he just gets a quick squeeze as she waits for him to speak. It's not like she's in a rush? This hug is going to move into awkward territory if he stays silent for too long, but for now... it's not so bad.]

[Well, woops. He hesitates, mostly to think of what to say next that isn't his entire life story. His dead brother is kind of most of that... uh. They could just sit here in silence for a bit, he wouldn't mind that - but in the interest of honesty, or something, in the interest of not leaving her in the dark about his significant chunk of context, okay--]

He died. He wasn't really... He was doing some shit he shouldn't've been, but he was still my bro, you know?

[He'd shrug, but her head is there, so he plucks at some grass idly instead. At the very least, he's stopped openly weeping?]

[Oh, that's... not where she was expecting this to go, honestly, and she momentarily tenses. Just because he's quieter than he was a few minutes ago doesn't mean that he's okay, especially when she can't see his face. And these are such difficult things to talk about? It's good to learn more about him—seriously, she's touched that he's opened up to her this much—but to think that so many things have happened to him... that he's kept so much of it to himself...]

Okuyasu... [There's a quiet sigh as she tightens her arms around him, because dang, what can she even say?] I'm sorry.

[For his brother? For his near-death experience? For everything that he's been through, really.]

[He's stopped crying, which is a step— the sting of his brother's death is still there, but it's a dull ache more than a sharp, constant thing. He can handle it, you know, probably. Clumsily. This helps, which shouldn't be as much of a surprise as it is, but it's barely been a year since he spent time with anyone outside his immediate family, a bunch of assholes. So.

Well, details— this helps, even as he lapses into silence after a mumbled,] Yeah. Thanks.

[Just give him another minute or two, he'll calm down enough to sort of. Clear his throat and shift to lean back a little. Yeah, he's good. Totally good. Ahem.]

Uh, so... yeah.

[Two minutes of silence is definitely enough to push this hug into awkward territory, so it's somewhat of a relief to feel him finally lean back? But there's also an annoying little part of her that is, um... actually, she's not even going to think about that! She's just going to pull a bit further away, thank you very much, and smile up at him as she pretends that she isn't bothered by anything at all. How many times is she going to have to remind herself that this... isn't about her at all...]

So! [SO!!! It's still hard to see out here, but she studies his face as best she can.] Do you... feel a little better now?

[This is the last time she's going to ask him about ~feelings~, because she's considerate.]

[Listen, he could probably sit here and hug for another ten minutes, but two is pushing it into the territory of actually having to talk about hugging, so - moving on. He's good! Everything is good.]

Yeah! Yeah. I'm... okay.

[So that's that. He's already thanked her, and he doesn't really want to keep going on about his Sad Feelings but he doesn't want to get up and leave, either...]

So, you wanna look at more stars?

[Look at stars and not his face, and not hug.]

[She was obligated to ask that question!! The things he's told her will now always be in the back of her mind, but she is more than happy to let things go back to normal. ...Normal-ish? Whatever! She's just going to turn back around, scoot to the side, and look up at the stars once again. He's safe.]

Sure! But you have to find the next constellation.

[And this is where we end it?]

[Yes, they sit here looking at lumpy animals in the sky for who knows how long, The End!!!]

issa may catchall

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did u see that spooky ghost tag.... my phone was haunted

i did...it was very mysterious

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