awashlogs | May Catch-All for Kyrie

WHO: Kyrie and whatever unfortunate souls he ends up dragging with him, generally
WHERE: The town? The forest? We just don't know.
WHEN: All of May
WHAT: Quests! And whatever else ends up here after that
WARNINGS: Violence probably? A seductive spider lady eventually. Discussions about dead things and turning those dead things into charming decor. Also some angry birds, and the obligatory mean scarecrow.

{ If you're interested in plotting something, be it a quest or otherwise, hmu at

Lacilia and we can figure something out! }

Dextera | Only Dex would want to hold hands with a spider.
Yuuya & Shiho | The scarecrow, the pigeon, and the esper go to corral some geese! What could possibly go wrong?
Henry | This boy doesn't need to learn taxidermy, and yet here we are.
Estelle | At least plant identification is a legitimately useful skill.
Ochako | She gets to learn some Italian compliments... that only work on opposite day. Nifty!
Vriska | Gambling buddies. That's it, just... Gambling buddies.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

—?!

[ that gets his attention like no other. dextera stumbles in his haste to get away from the crows, with her webbing still around his feet, but he doesn't plan on simply leaving them all behind and running for cover. he retrieves his sword and slaps his cheek with the other hand, willing himself back to awareness. she's a monster, dextera. get yourself together.

by the time he tries to throw himself back into the fray, the jorogumo has completely shifted to another form, her kimono ripped to shreds and hanging sadly over her bright yellow-and-black abdomen. it's easy to find her, at least, amidst the pure black of the crows. they do move out of the way for him, the way angelicus' birds seem to be an extension of herself and nothing more, and dextera burns a hole through her still-human heart with the light of his sword.

he would probably have just eaten it, if he didn't think it could be poisonous, so kyrie is spared that sight at least. she crumples soon enough, and dextera winces at the corpse.

he doesn't really like to kill things that look almost-human. ]

Thank goodness Dex had all that handled! A few crows still fall to the ground, the life so temporarily granted to them bleeding out onto the ground along with that of the jorogumo's. At least it wasn't his sword that killed them. Just the deadly poison and sharp, stabbing legs. They're probably fine.

It's only after she's completely down that Kyrie decides to rejoin Dextera out in the open, stride just as confident now as it had been going in. The remaining crows disperse over the area for the moment. Some even settle on the corpse and... begin picking at it with some fair amount of delight? Gross. That's probably still poisonous...

"It's a shame she was a maneater," he remarks, drawing near to Dextera's shoulder and considering the creature before them with one finger held lightly to his chin. "She might have been quite beautiful otherwise, wouldn't you agree?"

[ yeah, they're probably fine.

dextera regards the poor birds with a sadness that wasn't given to the jorogumo, but it doesn't seem like he's going to act on that sadness in any way. minato taught him to pay respect to the dead by burying them, but he's not sure kyrie is going to let him stop here in the middle of the forest and bury each of the several, several crows that he summoned from somewhere. ]

...

[ is kyrie teasing him? baiting him? dextera nods after a moment of hesitation. she was beautiful, maneater or not. maybe that's dextera's type. ]

From the corner of his eye, Kyrie watches Dex as he mulls over the question. Is it fair to tease him like this after he did all the work here? Absolutely not. Will he continue doing so despite that?

Absolutely yes.

And speaking of Dextera's type...

"So you think so, then?" He sounds dangerously amused, and far too interested for anyone's good. "You did seem fairly captivated for a moment there... Are you perhaps one of those guys who can be drawn in with just a look?"

What a wonderful choice of topic. It can only get worse from here.

[ what... oh no... dextera thinks he knows where this is going, and this suddenly seems extremely familiar. that conversation about a maid café comes to mind, but dextera still hasn't learned to navigate these rhetorical traps. ]

Ah—

[ he can't defend himself. he has no speech, which is beneficial for the fact that he can't talk himself into a hole, but it also means that kyrie can read absolutely whatever he wants to into dextera's flustered gestures. he shakes his head, quickly. ]

Oh no, it's almost too easy. Kyrie giggles, delighted by the response.

"No? So it wasn't her eyes then, hm?" A conspiratory look. "Then what does draw your eye, I wonder? If not her eyes... her lips?" Here we go... Despite the humor in his tone, he still manages to sound almost innocent, if too invested in the topic. It's as if they're just two friends discussing their favorite flavor of ice cream. "Or perhaps it wasn't her face at all...?"

He looks... probably a bit too casual as he continues:

"Ah, I see. That must be it then. You're the type to look first at a woman's curves. How bold. Tell me," why should he?? "What size breasts do you prefer?"

[ the problem with all of that is that, in truth, dextera was absolutely looking at her curves. he's a weak man, helplessly drawn in by exposed skin and that form-fitting kimono, her cleavage threatening to spill out at a moment's notice. even now, he's thinking about it, even while completely mortified by kyrie's question. ]

N—!

[ no!! he doesn't want to answer this question!! but he gave himself away by taking too long to think about it, and then belatedly snapping himself out of his imagination. his face is all too easy to read, and it's obvious that he was remembering her bazongas. ]

May Catch-All for Kyrie

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I'm so sorry, Dex

DESTROY HIM