May catch-all

[lacrimose]

WHO: Akira and you
WHERE: places and stuff
WHEN: throughout May
WHAT: Quests and misc. catch-all log!
WARNINGS: Eventual quest-related violence.

[PM or ping me at moonsilver for thread plotting!]

Comments

[lacrimose]

Guess you'll just have to hope for the town to get overrun by princesses again sometime.

[He grins. As they talk, they soon arrive at the lake, which looks deceptively calm and still, considering some of the things it shows. There's no one else around, as suspected, so Akira moves over to the water's edge, his hands in his pockets.

Okay!!! He can do this. He looks over at Ryo.]

So... I wanted to ask you something.

[apocalypticist]

Is that why you wanted to come here?

[ He could've done that back at the house, but while it's a little unnecessary Ryo can't say he minds. Having a moment with Akira all to himself is always nice and it feels like he doesn't get those enough these days now that Duo lives with them. He shifts his gaze across the frozen lake, taking in the view, before turning his attention back to Akira, giving him an expectant look. Go on, ask him. ]

[lacrimose]

Yeah.

[Even with his newfound confidence as a Devilman, though, the words seem stuck in his throat. Ryo is his oldest and dearest friend, and he has to say this in a way that doesn't mess things up between them.]

Ryo, answer me honestly. [He puts his hands on his shoulders.] Have you ever thought of me as more than a friend?

[apocalypticist]

[ There's a sharp inhale of air at the question, his gaze remaining steady and cool as his mind processes it. He understands the implication of the question, that it means that the person wants to take the relationship up a level and break it off of the platonic foundation.

A swell of something bordering on panic rises like bile in his throat, put he pushes it down, his mouth pulling into a line with his teeth pressing against the inside of his lip. ]

What brought this on?

[lacrimose]

[Sensing the obvious discomfort, Akira squeezes his shoulder before letting go. This was why he hadn't wanted to say anything, because something like this is so far out of Ryo's comfort zone it might as well be on another planet. But he made his decision, and he has to run with it.]

I realised that... I think that's how you see me. [He's not namedropping Dextera here and getting him into trouble.] And then I started thinking about it, and I think that... I feel that way too. So, if you wanted...

[He rubs the back of his neck. Okay, he has to say it.]

Ryo, will you go out with me?

[apocalypticist]

[ Ryo doesn't respond immediately, his mind struggling to formulate a good response; it's not his first time being asked out by someone, being a world famous celebrity popular among girls, but none of those moments could have possibly prepared him for this.

The silence that follows hangs in the air for several seconds too long, stifled with tension, his fingers curling loosely against his palms and he shakes his head. ]

I have no interest in romantic relationships. [ Something twists in the pit of his stomach as the words leave his mouth, but he pays it no mind. Love doesn't exist; therefore, there can be no sorrow. ]

You're confusing your sexual urges for love, Akira.

[ It's the only rational explanation for this—Akira has discovered bisexuality and realized that his friend is physically attractive, that's all there is to it. ]

[lacrimose]

[Akira looks like he's been struck across the face, momentarily stunned. Then he narrows his eyes and lets out a low growl at being dismissed so easily.]

This isn't about sex, Ryo! Before this, you know I was only interested in girls! You think if I just wanted to fuck you, I would've waited until now to act on it?!

[Oops. He probably shouldn't confess his feelings to someone only to yell at them a second later, so he tries to rein back his temper. But surely Ryo should understand by now how strong his urges are as a Devilman, and with Ryo, he's definitely never treated him like that.

He deflates, and adds in a quieter voice:]

At least think about it, before you act like my feelings don't matter.

[apocalypticist]

[ There's another pause, the silence almost unbearable. It feels there's something rancid in his stomach and his skin prickles uncomfortably; he almost wants to turn around and leave, to forget this ever happened. ]

Romantic relationships are a waste of time. [ His voice is firm but the words feel heavy, his tongue like lead in his mouth. He lowers his gaze just enough to break eye contact. ] Yelling at me won't change my mind.

[lacrimose]

Ryo... [Akira's voice trembles, and he reaches as if wanting to take his hand, do something to show how he feels, no matter how simple.

But he doesn't. He simply takes a breath to calm himself, and looks away, his hand balling into a fist at his side.]

Sorry for wasting your time, then.

[He turns to walk away.]

[apocalypticist]

[ Ryo doesn't say anything else, his fingers curling tight enough for his nails to dig into his palms and his knuckles to start turning white. It feels like something in him has been torn in two and he wants to shout at Akira to come back, but as usual he shoves those simmering emotions deep down where they can be ignored.

Instead he simply watches Akira leave, waiting until he's out of sight before he turns to look at the lake stretching out around them. He steps closer to the frozen shoreline, a nagging feeling at the fringes of his mind telling him to peer into the lake; he's long considered the possibility of it being able to break the chains that keep his memories locked away but it's not until now that he feels ready to actually do it.

There's no turning back now. ]