[closed] may catch-all

[artorian]

WHO: Artoria and friendos
WHERE: Everywhere... spooky
WHEN: First half of May
WHAT: Quests and miscellany
WARNINGS: n/a

[ Feel free to PM me or hit me up at chipsnfish for plotting! ]

Comments

[scooptimistic]

No, uh... you're not familiar? About the tale of Cinderella?

[ Not that she can blame Saber in the slightest. ]

[artorian]

[ She looks at Maya blankly and shakes her head...

please does she look like some loser who would go to the library and READ? ]

[scooptimistic]

... Okay, fair. It's about a girl who got bullied by her step-family, but then one day she wanted to go to this ball to meet a prince and her fairy godmother showed up and gave her magical princess things. Like a fancy dress, and a pumpkin for a coach, and... glass slippers. Maybe because all the other ladies had sensible fabric slippers or something.

[artorian]

Ah. I see.

[ Saber nods seriously and with understanding. If anything, she now has a completely knowing glint to her solemn eye. ]

Fairies do tend to be as generous as they are whimsical. I presume the slippers were imbued with magical qualities, such as the ability to traverse water or render their wearer invisible.

[scooptimistic]

I think it gave her the ability to not be recognizable? Or maybe it let her run safely in glass.

[ She can only hope. ]

[artorian]

[ Being unrecognizable could be a useful power... if you're on the run.

Saber looks down at the pumpkin wiggling in her arms. ]

And this becomes a carriage? Would that not be a fortunate development for you right now?

[scooptimistic]

I'm a little worried that it'll try to carry me off to a castle, for starters. I'd rather not.

[ She's giving the pumpkin a bit of stinkeye. ]

[artorian]

Are you certain? It sounds like it could make for a grand adventure.

[ Saber comes from... a different kind of life. ]

In any case, if the pumpkin misbehaves, I can simply cut it in half. If we have that understanding between us, I am certain the pumpkin will not take us anywhere undesirable.

[ Alarmed, the pumpkin's wiggling turns into more of a tremble. Saber pays it no mind. ]

[scooptimistic]

So are we... threatening a pumpkin to take us somewhere that isn't terrible?

[ Because it sounds like it. ]

[artorian]

Some creatures only understand violence.

[ Saber nods sagely. Then she holds the pumpkin out in her arms, and with a mystical swirl of sparkles and glitter, it morphs into.....................!

A pumpkin tandem bicycle. ]

[scooptimistic]

...

Okay, that's really not how the story goes.

[artorian]

[ Saber leans to look the bike over. ]

It certainly lacks grandeur... but is this not better? We cannot be taken anywhere we do not want to go.

[ She bunches up her skirt so that she can swing a leg up and settle into the front saddle. ]

Do you know how to ride a bicycle, Maya?

[scooptimistic]

Absolutely! It's been a very long time since I crashed one, too!

[ If Saber can ride anything, Maya can additionally crash... everything... but she also hikes up her dress so she can swing herself onto the other saddle. ]

[artorian]

[ Then hopefully they'll average out to... one average bicyclist. ]

Splendid. I have never ridden one, but I am eager to try.

[ She and Shirou always walked around on their excursions (inexplicably, despite him owning two bicycles), but if they'd had a bicycle like this, maybe they could've cut down on their travel time...

Anyway, with the power of B-rank Riding, Saber puts one slippered foot to a pedal and pushes off to try and get them started. ]

[scooptimistic]

[ The bike immediately wobbles, but with Saber's Magical Riding Skills, they somehow get going without teetering over in a glorious pile of brocade and slippers. ]

... Okay! That's promising!

[artorian]

[ It's strange for her to ride so confidently yet have her mount wobble this precariously despite her best efforts. It seems she can't underestimate Maya's equal and opposite force...

But they're going, so there's no stopping now! Saber focuses on keeping them upright with all of her strength and maybe not immediately wiping out on the nearest pothole. ]

... Maya, do you often crash the vehicles you drive?

1/4

[scooptimistic]

No! [ indignantly. ]

[scooptimistic]

I mean, not often? The blimp this time wasn't my fault!!

[scooptimistic]

The blimp last time was... maybe my fault... and the boat, and sure, Ulala won't let me drive a thing, but she's just...

[scooptimistic]

You know sometimes it's just better to walk!!

[artorian]

[ ..............

Saber has so many questions. ]

So you have crashed not one, but two blimps. Why were you allowed to pilot the second one...?

[scooptimistic]

The second one wasn't my fault! And I wasn't piloting it! It was just unfortunate chain of events...

[artorian]

... In other words, your mere presence is a threat to the safety of a vehicle.

[ And here she mutters something quietly like "Even if my Riding is B-rank, your anti-Riding may well be A-rank." ]

[scooptimistic]

That's a little much...!

[ No. She's right. ]

[artorian]

[ Saber barely knows what a blimp is, but she's pretty sure that having two crash in your presence qualifies you as some kind of curse. ]

Well, no matter. Even if this bicycle crashes, the damage will be low-scale.

[ If anything, Saber will take the brunt of the force as the forward cyclist. Hooray for Servanthood!

... That's what she thinks, anyway. Except now there's a sound of galloping slowly approaching from behind them. A shadowy, vaguely villainous horseman sits atop a black, vaguely villainous horse. Together, they make their way steadily toward the bicycle... ]