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Entry tags:
Event Twenty-One
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Sometimes I feel sad. Sometimes I feel curious, Sometimes I feel mad. Sometimes I feel silly, Sometimes I feel surprised. How many feelings, Do I have inside? | |
Welcome to Awash's Twenty-First event log, everyone! Further information on this event can be found here at the OOC post. You are welcome to make your own logs and posts for this event! | |
t's another regular, normal day in the Town. There's absolutely nothing to show that anything could possibly be wrong; the birds are chirping, the sky is bright, and everything is absolutely, entirely wrong.
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[ Yeah, I get it!
But he shakes his head as he dismisses that idea completely. It's been vetoed! What's a king to a mob! Okay, that doesn't really work here, but! Point! The fucking point is there! ]
Even if you say it like that, I cannot not worry about you.
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It's frustrating. ]
Your concern is . . . unnecessary.
[ And degrading, yet inexplicably stirring, which is the entire reason why he's finding it difficult to say anything. ]
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Your blustering is unnecessary! Like he could say something like that. Really, Berkut is still young and shouldn't have to shoulder taking care of himself. Indeed, he knows even in the cultivation world that Berkut's age is considered an adult, but he's a modern man!
I have modern sensibilities! I can't look at you and say, 'Ah, yes, an adult that I don't have to be concerned about at all.' GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WITH THAT SHIT! ]
Yet you have it all the same.
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Does this mean you'll be making more visits to my . . . domicile?
[ He hasn't forgotten what was said the last time a visit was made over a concern. How can he? While his understanding of the event is lukewarm at this time, he remembers how much he'd seethed in the aftermath under the roof he refuses to call home. Domicile is hardly any better. ]
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Yes, I will be visiting much more.
[ Be shameless. Be shameless. He can't blame you if you're shameless now! He breathes in deep as he steps forward. Go on! ]
You have not had anyone look after you for awhile, and so I will remind you what it is like. [ I FUCKING DID IT! ]
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All my life, I was taught by my father and my mother to be strong. I do not need a reminder that goes against their teachings.
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It does not go against their teaching to have someone look out for you. Is your strength one that no one can watch over you? [ Yeah, probably! Keep talking, me! ] You can be strong and have someone care for you. These things are not mutually exclusive.
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Bolstered by these thoughts, Berkut's expression is one of calm acceptance. ]
They are so in the Empire.
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[ So I'm taking that idea and tossing it out the goddamn window! Hello, goodbye!! ]
That way of living... it will not help you at all here. [ He is able to keep his expression controlled in turn, but only because this is the once in a lifetime chance to say shit like this to Berkut. He's worried, okay?! He can't keep having the prince go on it alone!!
IT'S DANGEROUS, TAKE THIS! He has a million memes but the end point is that he isn't going to let him handle it on his own anymore!! ]
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They're not in the middle of a battlefield, and the curses thus far haven't been too terrible. The dragons came and went, yet here they are, still standing. Why does Shen Qingqiu persist on insisting? ]
I cannot simply forget who I am and what my title entails, because I happen to be here. Where is your grace? It is within my rights to decline your offer.
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Don't have any! [ Right, at the moment, I can act however I like because that's the sort of situation that we're in right now. ] It's in my right to decline your decline, too. [ What am I? Fucking five? Calm down. ]
You need not forget these things. I will compromise and ask that you add this to it. [ Going slow and steady to help you!! But it's time to push it into turbo while I have the chance to do it! ] I am not saying I am above you in status, but merely that I am someone who will watch over you. Can you not accept that, at least?
[ He's throwing everything he can!! ]
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Once the initial shock has passed, he levels a stern look at Shen Qingqiu with the most neutral yet decisive inflection he can muster. ]
I cannot. You are in no place to negotiate with me.
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He wants to dig his fingers through his hair! Why did I even say anything!! I should have just done it without him knowing!! If he became aware of it, I'd just throw a distraction his way! But--!! ]
The point is that I do not wish for you to feel as though you are alone.
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My station demands it.
[ There isn't a trace of bitterness or resignation there. It's simply the way things are. ]
Do not misunderstand, Shen Qingqiu. It is natural that a great man should find himself without an equal to call a friend. As such, I do not suffer from being alone.
[ He gestures to the space around them. How funny, that this entire conversation started from Shen Qingqiu's demand that he step aside. The teacher is certainly a bold one. ]
This place . . . Chroma is a test; and your offer, a temptation. Now, more than ever, I must not falter.
1/2
This person is someone that he has to keep an eye on, or else, he really will separate himself from everyone. Shen Qingqiu thinks that he could bring up the young man's love. A wife is a person's best friend! But he knows better than to do something like that. Being shameless, or pretending to be shameless, is one thing, but saying something purposely upsetting is another! ]
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Did you say you feel tempted by it?
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No. I merely said that it was a temptation: one designed to invite reliance upon another. Doing so would diminish what strength I've toiled away to acquire over the years.
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Prince Berkut, what if what you were doing was easing my own anxieties? You are not relying upon me, but allowing me to rely upon you by worrying about you. [ This is the dumbest argument. I take it back. ]
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I am simply saying ... I care very much for you... that is not something I wish to be a burden, however.
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His gaze drifts to the side before snapping back to Shen Qingqiu. This man, who is of common birth, is truly stubborn. He's fortunate that Berkut is in an agreeable mood. ]
Very well.
[ What exactly he's agreeing to are damning words to repeat, so he leaves it there. ]
1/2
He wants to excuse himself so that he could start shadowpunching at the wall! He didn't think that such a thing would be fucking possible, but he got the go-ahead in being able to worry about Berkut!
I could run a fucking lap around this fucking town!! ]
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Thank you for your understanding.
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Remember that this is for your sake, not mine. It is only natural for one of common birth to rely on a noble.
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