awashlogs | Event Twenty-One

Entry tags:

Event Twenty-One

Sometimes I feel happy,
Sometimes I feel sad.
Sometimes I feel curious,
Sometimes I feel mad.
Sometimes I feel silly,
Sometimes I feel surprised.
How many feelings,
Do I have inside?

t's another regular, normal day in the Town. There's absolutely nothing to show that anything could possibly be wrong; the birds are chirping, the sky is bright, and everything is absolutely, entirely wrong.

This time, though? The problem is internal. Slowly, bit by bit, people are going to stop feeling entirely like themselves -- or maybe even stop feeling at all.

And suddenly that nice, bright day doesn't seem quite so nice and not quite so bright any longer after all.

Welcome to Awash's Twenty-First event log, everyone! Further information on this event can be found here at the OOC post. You are welcome to make your own logs and posts for this event!

If there are any questions, please ask them here. Thank you!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It is what I am.

[ He squeezes her hand then, refusing to relent on his position. It is not his sword he wants to hold, in the end. ]

If you take that love from me and destroy it…

[ He shakes his head, giving her a sorrowful smile. ]

…that would hurt me more than anything else.

[ Pyra-- the real Pyra, with all of her emotions-- would never want to hurt him or anyone, and she would rather be hurt herself than see anyone else suffer. She would never come to the conclusion that love is a cause of his suffering, and yet, somehow, without her empathy she's come to that very point. Why?

She does feel something is wrong, but she can't pinpoint just what it is.

Pyra seems confused, confused enough to not realize how her fingers curl into his hand. ] I'm not... hurting you. I'm helping you.

That's what I've been trying to do all along. [ Either to end her existence, keeping him and others safe. Or ending is love for others, thus keeping his heart safe from ever being hurt again. ]

I know.

[ And that’s why he can’t be mad at her—why he’s closing both his hands over hers. His touch is gentle and not at all firm—she can pull away any time she pleases. She can even yank his sword out of his scabbard without objection. Tristan, for his part, only wants to gently lead her to his point of view, and perhaps…to help her love herself.

It might be an impossible task, he realizes, but that’s what a knight is for. ]

And no doubt my heart will be in safe hands should you ever cut it out yourself. But…there are alternatives to what you propose.

Tristan...

[ She can't look at him directly, and so her gaze falls down to his hands that claps her own. He's holding her despite what she's said and despite what he knows of her, he's refusing to give up even if she insists that cutting out his heart and all the emotions that make him love is for the best. ]

You've suffered so much. [ Her brow furrows, and she closes her eyes as if it's painful to even think about him suffering more. She's lost her empathy, but somehow with his presence and his words, it's returning. ]

What other way is there?

[ All this talk of his suffering…really, are you him or what? Come on, Pyra! ]

I could simply give it to you.

[ He doesn’t care how cheesy it sounds. He doesn’t care how cheesy any of this sounds!! ]

But truth be told, you have it already. As do many other people of this realm. So if you must cut out my heart, then there are a great many people from whom you must take it first.

[ ...Ah. His heart, his love. He's talking about giving her that. But he's already adding a little bit more of his old self back into his words, flirtatious.

Well, she can play at that game, too, even if she sounds a little exasperated-- ]

And if I want it all for myself?

[ ...And a little playfully dangerous as well, given that just moments ago she was talking about literally taking his heart. She's moved passed that right now, but. Hm. Not caring means that she's a little more willing to go along with his cheesiness. ]

My dear, you know that it is impossible.

[ Both because of Iseult and also because of Addam. But he’ll play this game for as long as he can, since it seems to be distracting her well enough—bringing her back into her old self. If that’s really what it takes, he can provoke her a little with the hearts thing. He’d give a hell of a lot more than that for her when it came down to it. ]

But now I see that your true motives have surfaced.

[ And he approves. She should be a little more selfish. ]

True motives? [ Her smile turns wry at that, although it’s not as enthusiastic as it could be.

Nevertheless she goes along, playfully: ]

You see right through me. [ ...”See”. ] I’m alone and selfish, not human, but wanting to experience what humans can with their hearts.

Then we make for quite the pair, you and I.

[ They’re similar in so many ways…though at least he’d had the benefit of once being human. ]

But more than that…you have more heart than most humans I have met. And I love you for it.

[ Her lips part as if she is able to say something that should come quite natural to her in response— I love you, as well, words easily said for someone like Pyra who is usually quite affectionate.

But instead she blinks just as she is about to repeats them back to him, knowing that they... may sound almost cruel, when no emotion is spoken with them. ] I...

Don’t love you.

[ A pause, and her brow furrows as she frowns. ]

Which is... I’m certain that I do. But I feel...

[ ........Ah. She has an answer now as to what is missing.

This is Chroma’s doing, and suddenly she feels like an idiot for not realizing sooner. ]

This world took that feeling away, didn’t it?

[ Helplessly, she turns to him. ] How can I get it back?

I do not know.

[ Even he can’t exactly explain how he’d recovered. He’d only remembered his connection to her, and…and what? The way this world works just doesn’t make any sense! At the very least, he isn’t hurt by Pyra’s response—knowing that it is just as unusual as everything else that’s happened between them lately.

And he can’t make sense of it. It’s vexing.

He finally lets go of her hands. ]

If there was a monster or a villain to slay for your sake, I would do it gladly. But here, no such simple solutions present themselves…

[ still ]

But I will not leave you to face it alone.

[ If... If she could still love others, what would she be doing now? Probably saying something kind to him, probably reassuring him, probably apologizing for all that she's said to him before. But the desire is no longer there. ]

I.... I think I... I miss having love. [ Because it made her happy, to be able to give that love, that care, and what joy she could bring them to others. ]

Maybe it's just a matter of time before it returns... I hope it does return. [ Chroma hasn't taken away her hope at least... and, there: a more genuine smile at last as she looks at him. ] But if not, I hope you'd be able to teach me what it means again.

[ He wonders if maybe he should give up his heart to her—if that might be the answer to this riddle. But he’d recovered himself well enough, so why…? ]

I will not rest until you have found your heart again, Pyra.

[ And here he smiles, sadly, as he holds out his hand to take hers once more. ]

[ Hesitantly, she raises her hand to place it in his, and her eyes widen briefly as she finds that gesture actually... comforting this time.

It's working. He's reminding her what it's like to have a heart, so to speak, to care for others.

Meekly she raises her eyes to look at him, unable to stop the shy redness that creeps to her cheeks. Moment ago she had been prepared to cut out his heart, and now with this... feeling returning to her, she feels as if she's so much more weaker to him. She doesn't even need to have her full amount of empathy or care for others or love back; she can be feeling but a sliver of it, and it will still be that powerful of an emotion. ] My... my heart, yes. [ She manages to say, carefully.

Her hand squeezes his more tightly, as if to reassure herself. Having feelings for others is rather scary, if she recalls correctly. It can cause so much suffering. But if, perhaps, she's not alone, if she has his help... it won't be so bad. ]

Thank you. [ Again, more shyly this time: ] Thank you, Tristan. I... look forward to sharing my heart with yours when this is over.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Event Twenty-One

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject