Event Twenty-Five.

[awashmods]

I'd like to creep into the wood And see the bonnets blue, And hear the bluebells ringing loud, I wish I could -- don't you?

t's another day, another month, and another time for people to show up in the well. You'd better go rescue them! Never mind the fact that you woke up with a flower in your hands. It's probably fine. Don't mind it at all. It's not like it's hard to ignore a little flower. (At least, not until the effects start to kick in. Better go rescue the people in the well before they do.) Oh, right. Even the people in the well have flowers, so... things are going to be a little ridiculous very quickly, when all of those side effects kick in. Have fun! Welcome to Awash's Twenty-fifth event log, everyone! Further information on this event can be found here at the OOC post. You are welcome to make your own logs and posts for this event! If there are any questions, please ask them here. Thank you!

Comments

[subzeroes]

( food and cooking, at least, is something to focus on, for however brief he might have it. at the end noctis does say something interesting though, and ignis steels himself, turning to glance at him. )

Are we going to discuss what happened before?

( ignis pretty much already knows. it's not like kissing became a casual greeting between friends in a year's time. )

[nascere]

Does it matter?

[ noctis is tense now, because there's so much at stake -- what does he tell him? worse, what if what ignis hears obligates him to feel the same for him again? noctis doesn't want that, even if he's so stupidly in love with ignis that everything just about hurts.

he's not looking at him, but he does call it out -- ]

It's not your fault the town wiped your memories. I still -- it's still you. That's all that matters.

[subzeroes]

( ignis stops in his steps then, forcing noct to do the same. denial might be a strong pillar in his own well being for understanding and slowly accepting everything he's come to learn about his history with this place, but noctis' clear upset sheds a new bit of light on what he was already coming around to know. not only were they together — they were in love. he frowns, kingsglaive registered shoes taking him forward until he's in front of noct, two hands settled on his shoulders. )

It is me.

( it's not the me noctis wants, but it is the one he has. he squeezes his shoulders, trying at comfort. )

If you're going to keep looking at me like I've done some terrible thing, I would say it does matter, yes. You can talk to me, Noct. I will always listen.

[nascere]

[ joke's on you, ignis. every 'you' is the 'you' that noctis wants. he's forced to stop and look at him, surprise and distress flickering in his eyes -- not for himself, no. ]

Ignis, you haven't done any terrible thing. [ had he made it seem that way? no, no and no, he didn't mean it that way. the last thing he wants to do is to make ignis feel like he's done something wrong. he reaches out to tentatively touch ignis' hand, trying to reassure him. ]

You haven't done anything wrong. If I made you feel that way, I'm sorry.

[ see, noctis has even grown up in his year, too. he's apologising, communicating like a normal person would even if it's a touch stilted and awkward. ] What did you -- what did you want to know?

[subzeroes]

( the apology is a surprise — ignis is temporarily blinded by every memory he has of noctis apologizing. when he was a child, it happened quite a bit more, as if the power of being royal was never completely born inside of him. ignis had to remind him frequently that things like illness or clumsiness were simply not his fault. when he got older, apologies were more like weapons loaded with self loathing bullets.

a genuine apology from a grown noctis is interesting. ignis blinks a few times, regaining his bearings, silently allowing his hands to fall back down to his sides. )

You don't have to apologize. You've done nothing of the sort.

( it's just the look — like ignis gutted his cat, or told him his favorite video game console was smashed, or. like he broke his heart into a million, tiny pieces. )

I only want to say, you're not alone in all this. I am your chamberlain and your friend, and we will get through this together, as always.

[nascere]

[ oh, ignis...

noctis looks down at ignis' feet, unwilling to expose his thoughts about that -- his heart is breaking into a million tiny pieces, that much is true, and as desperately as noctis wants to put him at ease, to make sure that he isn't obligated to do anything he doesn't want to do, he can't help the sadness as well, the loss that's even more profound when the man he loves is standing here before him, telling him he's both his friend and chamberlain.

his words are stuck in his throat, because the thing is that he is alone in some ways, and these ways are not fair to put on ignis. ]

Yeah.

[ it sounds thin, half-hearted -- like noctis is pushing it through when he doesn't actually feel that way but wants to smooth things over. but at least having him as a friend is better than him being gone. ignis has formed such a huge, huge part of his life that the loss of him is difficult to bear. he's hurting, and badly, but that''s okay. it'll be okay. ]

Yeah, okay. I mean -- I'm here, too. [ he gestures over his shoulder, anything not to keep eye contact; it's a thing noctis still hasn't grown out of. ] There's the plot of land.

[subzeroes]

( the point doesn't land, but ignis has at least said his piece. he can almost physically see noctis recoil into himself, isolate further from the issue at hand. and while it's still an important message to send, he can tell that further pressing it will either have noctis cutting himself off entirely, or getting angry as a result. he nods, understanding that noctis is looking for a way out of the conversation. ignis will allow him the retreat.

for now. )

Very well.

( he takes to the land, then, moving in to examine the work noctis has kept up with. his trousers are still soaked, so he's careful not to dirty himself too much in poking through all the perishables. )

When was the last time you ate?

[nascere]

[ allowing noctis to retreat is the best move to make -- it won't take very push to push him from being avoidant to lashing out, and with the meeting as fraught as it is, chances of saying the wrong thing are exponentially higher than ever.

noctis sees it for what it is, and relaxes just a little in quiet gratitude. which, of course, aids in noctis offering more instead of prickling defensively. ]

This morning, I think? There was leftover casserole.

[ and he's hungry. he hadn't actually thought to make something, not when he had been curious as to ignis' absence and was searching for him. eyeing his wet trousers, he continues. ]

You've still got clothes at our -- my place. Do you wanna come and get changed?

[subzeroes]

( there are a few things ready to pluck that noctis had perhaps missed — it's like him to err on the side of caution, ignis understands, and wonders if his previous self taught him enough about farming to be confident in it. steadily, he's realizing he'll probably end up repeating himself an awful amount.

our, noct had said. you can't unring a bell, as it is, and he said it, which means it must be true. they were together, they were in love, they lived together — gods. he can't think about all the implications in that, just yet. )

Thank you. Yes.

( various veg collected in his hands, ignis rises, nodding his head back towards the garden. )

You eat these?

( the noctis he knew would scarcely eat anything beyond meat. it's a little hard to believe he'd eat something that came out of the ground, and yet the plot is well looked after, catered and tended to. )

If you have some protein, I could whip us up a spot of lunch. Well, ( his eyes lift up to the sun, squinting ) late lunch, in any case.

[nascere]

[ you can't unring a bell, definitely, you can't stop loving the person who doesn't remember loving you that way -- and it's fine, it'll be fine, because noctis doesn't want to bleed all over him and that's the worst outcome he can ever imagine.

it'll be fine.

there is a welcome familiarity in how ignis so briskly takes charge; noctis might have learned a few things from ignis when it comes to farming, but he's not as adept as ignis, and he makes a face at the vegetables in his arms before moving to dig up a few of the potatoes.

he'll eat the fries, iggy, definitely the fries. ]

I've caught a few fish.

[ he tells him, cheered by the idea of having fish and chips as he bundles the potatoes into his arms. ]

I'll show you around the place after lunch?

[subzeroes]

( ah. that's a bit more like the noctis he knows. iggy turns up a small smile, finding comfort in something so small as noctis refusing to eat vegetables, before he nods, giving him a gesture forward. )

Following you. Sounds like a plan.

( he's glad he's going to have a chance to look at this space before noctis covers up the things he doesn't want him to see — the lived in areas, where apparently he and noctis have made it their own. he swallows down a thick bit of nervousness, trailing after noct. )

[nascere]

[ following is a good plan; the tension between them is inescapable, even if they're both doing their damned best to alleviate it however they can. it's not ignis' fault, it's not noctis', but it doesn't take away the hurt of being forgotten. this damn city and all of its stupid curses are to blame, frankly.

noctis leads, giving ignis the space he needs to collect himself and take it all in -- it must be overwhelming for him as well, and the last thing noctis wants to do is make things even more difficult.

eventually, they end up at the house where two chocobos are tethered outside -- one pure black and one yellow. both of them perk up in greeting, and noctis can't help a smile as he pauses to pet them in greeting. ]

They're ours. Spot's mine. [ the black one, who's currently going for a hug as noctis balances the potatoes for one. but he moves on quickly enough, into the house where the cat, pearl, mews and winds around their legs. if the cat looks familiar, it should be; it's the one noctis fed back at the docks.

the house looks neat but lived-in, and noctis gestures to the different rooms. ] That room belongs to Dex, you'll meet him soon enough -- and the other one is mine.

[ just his, now. he briskly moves on from that, leading ignis into the kitchen. ]

And here's where the magic happens.

[ heh. ]